by E. L. Todd
“I love her to death but she’s…annoying sometimes. She’s so focused on finding Mr. Right that she hosts these ridiculous parties.”
“It seems like a lot of girls are looking for Mr. Right.”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure why.”
What did that mean? She never wanted to find someone to settle down with? I guess it wouldn’t be surprising. I finished my scotch and left it aside.
“Conrad, right?” A blonde came up to me. She had crystal blue eyes and she was tall, almost as tall as I was.
“Yeah…” Did I know her from somewhere?
“Casey. We met a few weeks ago at a bar.”
Still wasn’t ringing a bell. “Oh yeah. How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Great.” She flashed me a smile. “I’m so glad I ran into you. Would you like to dance?”
A few couples were moving across the dance floor to the romantic music playing overhead. When I glanced at Beatrice, her face was averted. She seemed particularly interested in her drink. I wasn’t sure what Beatrice and I were, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate me dancing with anyone but her. If I had any chance with her, I shouldn’t ruin it. “Actually, I already promised my next dance to this beautiful woman.” I put my arm around Beatrice’s waist and pulled her close to me.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Casey stepped away. “My mistake.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
She walked away and headed to the bar.
I looked at Beatrice, my arm still around her. “Would you like to dance?”
“You can hang out with her if you want…you don’t have to stay with me.”
“But I want to stay with you.”
“Really?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yeah.” I put her drink down then pulled her to the dance floor with me. I pulled her closer and anchored my hand around her waist. I held her hand in mine and moved slowly.
“I don’t dance much…”
“I’ll lead.” I stared into her beautiful face, seeing her eyes reflect the dim lighting of the room.
She loosened up slightly, her face close to my chest.
“Thanks for taking me to this,” I said.
“I should be thanking you.”
I smiled. “I feel like a bug repellent.”
“Well, it works. I know guys are intimidated by your size and your money.”
“My size?” I asked.
“Yeah…you aren’t exactly skinny.”
I was pleased she mentioned my appearance. I knew she was attracted to me but sometimes I wondered if she was immune to my charms. When she saw me shirtless, she liked what she saw. But I didn’t know how much. “I’m glad you noticed.”
Not having a response, she looked away.
I stared into her face while I danced with her, willing her to meet my gaze. She kept it averted, like she was afraid of the intimacy. Feeling a surge of courage, I pressed my forehead against hers. She took a deep breath but didn’t react in any other way. She didn’t pull away either. Desperate for her, I pulled her closer to me and relished the moment. I’d never danced with a girl like this before. I never held them close like I was afraid they might slip away. Her waist was so petite in my hands, and her signature smell came into my nose. I wanted to hit the pause button on life just to savor the moment. She used to be so sketchy around me, not trusting a single word I said. But now she did.
And I never wanted to ruin that.
***
I walked her to her door then stopped at the threshold.
She fished for her keys then pulled them out of her purse. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“Anytime.” I wanted her to invite me inside. I didn’t want the night to end. I felt a change between us and I was curious to see how far it would go.
“Well, goodnight.”
My heart fell. “Goodnight.”
She stayed rooted to the spot and waited for me to walk away.
I’d never hugged her before. All we’d done was hold hands and danced together. For some reason, I had the urge to hold her in my arms. I felt like I earned that right after being patient with her for months. I held onto my courage then moved in.
She didn’t pull away but she watched me intently.
My arms moved around her waist and I pulled her into my chest. I kept my face averted from hers so she knew I wasn’t trying to kiss her. She let me pull her in, and her face rested against my frame.
She was so tiny I could wrap a single arm completely around her. The other moved up her back and my hand rested on her hair. I didn’t say anything, just holding her and forming a steel cage around her.
Beatrice slowly moved her arms around my waist and kept her face close to me. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
“I can feel yours.” I rested my chin on her head and stayed still. The fact she didn’t move away meant a lot to me. The fact she let me touch her at all was surprising. I held her for several minutes and she never moved away. A quiet sigh escaped her lips and I knew she was comfortable.
I looked down at her, wanting to see her reaction to me.
She looked up, her face close to mine.
We both froze. I felt the blood pound in my ears. My heart kicked into overdrive. My breathing suddenly sped up. Staring at her red lips made me feel weak. I wanted to kiss her, to press my warm mouth against hers. But I was scared. Was she ready for that? Did she want that? Would I ruin what we had if I tried?
She made the decision for me. She pulled away and turned toward her door. “I’ll see you later…”
“Yeah.” I stayed on her threshold, feeling empty.
“Good night.” She closed the door.
I turned around and sighed, my head swelling with confusion. What were we? We didn’t act like friends. But we didn’t act like lovers either. I wished I could just ask her but I had a feeling that wouldn’t accomplish anything. I headed home, feeling more confused than I ever had.
***
I stayed up late and watched TV. I wasn’t in the mood to sleep. My mind kept racing, focusing on the single person who had my undivided attention. I wanted Beatrice. I wanted all of her, wanted her to tell me she cared about me. I wanted to know she was mine and that I was hers. She made it clear she could only be a friend. But what if she could be more?
I was going through a dry spell. I hadn’t had sex since I met Beatrice. She took up a lot of my time and I hadn’t gone out to look for a quick lay. But honestly, I didn’t really want to. All I would think about was Beatrice anyway. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going crazy for some kind of contact. I was used to having sex on a regular basis and that just ended. I would use my hand but I hated masturbating. It didn’t feel as good.
A knock on my door sounded.
I checked the time. It was almost one in the morning. Who would be at my door at this hour? My heart leapt in joy at the thought of Beatrice being on the other side.
I looked through the peephole but only felt disappointment when I spotted Stacy. She was one of my regulars. I usually liked having a different girl every time, but I kept the really good ones around. I opened the door. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
She put her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow. “Is that a serious question? What do I normally come over for?”
Oh yeah…
She stepped inside my apartment. “I missed you…”
“You did?” I asked with a smirk.
“Yeah.” She shut the door then put her hands on my chest. “I want some of that bear love.”
Stacy was wild and kinky. She did a lot of things most girls wouldn’t do, and she never cared that I didn’t want something more. She was the definition of easy. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She moved down to her knees then undid my jeans.
I was so horny that I was desperate for her. She got my jeans down then gripped my boxers.
I suddenly felt cold. Sickness pooled in my stomach and I felt dizzy. It didn’t feel r
ight. Guilt and shame flooded through me. I gripped her shoulder. “Wait, hold on.”
“What?” she asked. “I’ll let you do that thing you like…”
I pulled up my jeans then stepped back. “I’m just not feeling it tonight.”
She stood up and raised an eyebrow. “Well, it looked like you were feeling it.”
I opened the door. “Stacy, you should go.”
“Why are you being weird?” she demanded.
“I think I have a girlfriend.”
“You think?” she snapped. “How can you not know?”
“It’s complicated…”
“I’ll say.”
“It’s nothing personal,” I said quickly. “But I think you should go.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re missing out.” She walked out and didn’t look back.
After I shut the door, I leaned against it. My mind was spinning and I felt out of breath. Stacy was gorgeous and easy. She satisfied me and gave me exactly what I wanted, sex and no relationship.
So, what the hell just happened?
Chapter Thirteen
Silke
I stepped out of the changing room. “What about this one?”
Arsen shrugged. “It’s great.”
I sighed then walked back inside and changed. He seemed to be indifferent to every outfit I tried on. I came back out wearing a blue one. “Do you like this?”
“Sure.” He leaned back in the chair with his hands behind his head. The cashier kept eyeing him closely, like he might pull out a gun and rob her. His leather jacket and persona of indifference was intimidating to everyone.
I sighed then walked back inside and changed. I put on a black dress that was backless. It was tight on my body and revealed my legs underneath. I stepped out and watched his reaction.
His eyes widened as he took me in. They lingered on my legs then moved up to my chest.
“How about this one?” I made a pose for him.
He whistled loudly. “Come to papa.”
I rolled my eyes. “Pig.”
He patted his lap. “Park that RV right here.”
“RV?” I snapped.
“Don’t act like you don’t know you have junk in that trunk.” He winked.
“Go to hell.” I walked back into the changing room. When I was alone, I smiled. I liked the attention he gave me even though I acted like I didn’t. When he was attracted to me, it made me giddy with excitement. His attention was all I wanted.
I walked out with the dress in my hand.
“You’re getting it, right?” He stood up and adjusted his jacket.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“And you’re going to put it on when we get home?”
I smacked his arm then headed for the register. After I paid for it, we walked out.
“How about we stop and get some slutty lingerie?” He grabbed my hand and held it in his own.
“No.”
“Come on.” He leaned close to me. “I’ll buy.”
“I don’t need your money.”
He smirked while he stared at me. “Miss independent…”
I tried to hide my smile while I walked with him. Ever since Christmas, he’d been in a better mood. He wasn’t thoughtful and quiet all the time. Since my parents accepted him, his self-confidence seemed to be stronger. He wasn’t pushing me away like he used to. He finally let me in to stay.
“Look what we have here…” A guy wearing a beanie, baggy jeans and a t-shirt with holes in it came up to us. He was smoking a cigarette even though we were inside. Two guys who looked like thugs were behind him, looking threatening. They eyed me blatantly then whispered to one another.
I didn’t like them one bit.
Arsen tensed immediately. His happy demeanor was gone, and he squeezed my hand a little tighter.
“Looks like Arsen has a girlfriend after all…” He flashed us a smile full of yellow and crooked teeth.
Arsen positioned himself in front of me, blocking me from view. “Combs.”
“Fancy seeing you here.” He laughed like he said something funny.
“It’s a public mall.” Arsen’s voice had never sounded so cold and hollow. “It’s not that surprising.”
Combs tried to peek around him to get a glimpse of me. “Who’s the pretty lady?”
Arsen moved in front of me, blocking his view. “None of your business.”
Combs turned to his cronies. “Someone’s sensitive…”
“I’ll see you around.” He grabbed my hand again and pulled me away.
“Whoa…hold on.” Combs clapped his hands. “I want to purchase some of your high-quality product.”
Arsen turned to him. “I’m not selling at the moment.”
“Excuse me?” His somewhat friendly demeanor evaporated. “Did you just say no to me?”
“I said I don’t have anything on me. We can arrange something at a different time.”
I’d never witnessed a drug exchange or seen dealers in action. Combs and his cronies weren’t exactly friendly and they rubbed me the wrong way. Arsen seemed particularly protective of me in front of them, trying to take me away from the situation as quickly as possible.
Combs stared at him with a threatening look. “I suggest you don’t let it happen again. Or maybe I’ll take a turn on that girl of yours.”
My skin prickled in fear.
“Come near her and I’ll murder you.” The threat was in Arsen’s voice as well as his words. He stared at Combs, not backing down. I knew it wasn’t an idle threat. It was literal in every sense of the word.
Combs smirked, not seeming afraid. “Touchy, are we?”
Arsen gave him a final look before he dragged me away. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes looked crazed. He didn’t speak, just pulling me along. He didn’t glance over his shoulder as he walked as fast as he could without running.
When we made it to the garage, he grabbed my helmet and put it on quickly. “Come on. Let’s go.”
I didn’t say anything and did as he asked.
He got on the bike then sped out of the garage, hauling ass. When we got onto the road, he took a different route than I’d ever been on. We were going the opposite way of the campus.
“Where are we going?”
He didn’t speak. He moved through the cars and headed to the highway. When we were there, he pushed his bike to the limit. I couldn’t hear anything but the wind in my ear. If I spoke, he probably couldn’t hear me. He drove for two hours, his destination unknown.
When we arrived at a small town in the middle of nowhere, he pulled into a motel parking lot and parked in the rear. He killed the engine then tossed his helmet aside.
I watched him and held my silence.
“We’re staying here tonight.” He headed into the front office and disappeared.
I stayed on the bike, unsure what to do.
He returned then yanked my helmet off. “Come on.”
“Okay…”
He pulled me into our dark and small room. The curtains were closed and he bolted all the locks. He paced in front of the bed, his eyes glued to the floor as he moved.
I sat at the foot of the bed. “I have class tomorrow…”
“You aren’t going.” He ripped his jacket off and tossed it on the floor.
Combs and his crew were frightening, but Arsen didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who was scared of anything. Since he worked with these people often, I was surprised he was frightened off so easily.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
He sat next to me but kept his silence.
“Talk to me.”
His jaw was clenched tightly. “I never meant to bring you around that.”
“I know…”
“I’ve never cared about what people do to me. They can threaten me with anything and I’d never blink an eye over it. But you…you’re different. I could never let anything happen to you.”
That made my spine shiver. “You thi
nk…he would do something to me?”
He was quiet for a long time. “These guys aren’t like people you know. They do bad things to good people. Most of the time, words are just idle threats. But with these guys… I’d never take the chance.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “What now?”
“We’ll stay here for the night just in case they tried following us. I’ll take you back home tomorrow. I just didn’t want to risk them following me to your apartment.”
My heart was beating fast and the blood was loud in my ears. I was never scared of anything and I tried to remain brave.
“After I drop you off, you won’t see me for awhile. I’ll do the deal with them and wait for things to blow over. When I think it’s safe, I’ll call you.”
Now I was scared for him. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Yes.” He said it without any doubt. “Keep your enemies close.”
I hooked my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder.
“I want you to stay with your friends for a few days. Tell them you’re fumigating your apartment or something. I prefer Theo since he knows martial arts.”
“Maybe we should call the cops.”
“No,” he said immediately. “Then they would murder us and dump our bodies in the ocean.”
That didn’t make me feel better. “Arsen…do you deal with this a lot?”
“No. I’m always careful. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time today.”
I clung to him tightly and closed my eyes. “I don’t want you to do this anymore…”
He stared out the window, his eyes not blinking.
“Please, Arsen.”
“It’s all I’ve ever known…”
“You’ll find something else. I’m scared for you.”
“Beauty, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“You’re obviously scared of these people for a reason. You just drove two hours away…”
“I can take care of myself. I’ve never been worried about that. It’s you I’m concerned about.”
I breathed hard while I clung to him.
He turned his face to me then kissed my forehead. “Don’t be scared. I promise I’ll never let anything happen to you. I just have to do a better job of keeping you separate from my…profession.”
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the steady sound of his breathing. It kept me calm. His skin was warm in my hand, and I inhaled his scent and pretended we were at home in bed. The world was at peace and we were safe.
