by Heather Long
I licked my lips. “Like Freddie?”
One nod. “And you.”
That took us too close to a vulnerable and sensitive place. I frowned and glanced at the cigarette again. “Freddie doesn’t have a bird name.”
“Ask him when he’s feeling better.”
“What if I want to ask you?”
“Just because you ask doesn’t mean I’ll tell you.” The dare in his eyes said the rest—we could keep playing the question game, or I could let it go.
“Fine,” I exhaled. “I’ll ask him later.”
A car horn honked in the distance. Trucks rumbled by. Somewhere, I swore there was a louder, lower pitched horn. It reminded me of those at train crossings, but I didn’t remember seeing any of those.
“You want to go to work with me today, Sparrow?”
“Where’s work?” I glanced at him.
“Not here,” he offered, and when I narrowed my eyes, he flashed another smile. “I work at a shop down the road. It’s not that far, but far enough that you’ll be out. Probably not the most comfortable.” The last was said with a hint of a shrug.
“Do you think Freddie will be out today?”
“No, Sparrow. They took him to Doc’s clinic so Doc could let him sleep off the worst of it. It’s not easy to get everything out of his system without the tremors and delirium setting in, and if we keep him out, then at least we can get his system clean before he starts trying to wander off and score again. At least when he’s sober, there’s a chance he makes better choices.”
“That’s why I haven’t seen Jasper or Vaughn?”
He nodded. “They’re taking turns sitting with him. Vaughn’s got work too. You missing them?”
I’d finished my second cigarette, and it had definitely done what the first hadn’t—it had eased my agitation. “It would be weird if I was.”
“It would be weirder if you weren’t.” He shrugged.
“How did you know?” I met his stare.
“Know what?”
“That I left.”
The corners of his mouth tipped, and he dropped his chin. “I didn’t, for sure, until just now.”
Fuck.
Goddammit.
Before I could spin away though, he caught my arm and dragged me back to him. To be fair, it wasn’t like he was gripping me that tight. I could yank away. Leaning into my space, he studied me.
“Sparrow, you relaxed. Before, you were jumpy as fuck around all of us. Even Vaughn.”
“I didn’t feel very jumpy when I fucked him.”
“Good, if you were, I’d have to beat the shit out of him.” The simplicity of the statement lent a lot more weight than all the yelling in the world. “And I make it a point of noticing things, particularly since you’ve been hellbent on escape since you got here, and you’ve been left alone for days and didn’t try to leave.”
My heart sank. It was one thing to admit it to myself, but another to admit it to them.
“I’m not mad,” he said quietly, and that last bit pulled my attention upward. “We want you to feel safe here. Even if you don’t belong here.”
Why did those last few words hurt?
“I thought you brought me here to protect me.”
“We did.” He stroked the inside of my arm with his thumb. The quiet tone kept me riveted because I didn’t want to miss a single word. “Doesn’t mean this place is good for you, or that we are.”
I frowned.
“But you’re here, Sparrow, and nothing is going to happen to you here.”
I licked my lips. “The threat…it’s gone, right?” Was I testing him?
Maybe.
“Your former dance partner is gone,” he admitted. “He won’t lay a finger on you again.”
“Then—” His cool eyed frown silenced my next question
“That wasn’t the only threat. Someone cut your silks the night of the performance.”
Surprise flickered through me. Oh. Shit. I’d almost forgotten that.
“And someone, it may be nothing, but someone tried to run you down in the parking lot.”
“You said it was a drunk driver.” Yes, that was an accusation.
“I didn’t want you afraid.”
The laughter escaping me might have bordered a little on the hysterical.
Okay, so it crossed the border into a lot hysterical.
“So you bring me here?”
“That was Jasper’s idea,” Kestrel admitted, drawing me right up next to him so he could tuck an arm around me. The warmth had me leaning into his side, even if I shouldn’t. “And as much as I hate to admit it, I think he was right.”
“Can I ask why?”
“You can.”
I snorted. “Will you answer me?”
“Not yet, Sparrow.” He brushed a strand of my hair back away from my face.
“Why not?”
“You still don’t trust us yet.”
I frowned.
“But you’re closer.” He turned us both toward the door to go back inside. Probably a good plan since the coffee was gone.
“How do you know?”
He kept one hand at my back as he reached for the door to open it. “You came back.”
I paused to study him, the noise inside not really registering or the fact that we had an audience now.
“And you’re still here,” he finished. “It’s as good a place to start as any.”
Chapter 8
Vaughn
“Grabbing food,” Doc said as he leaned in the door. “You two should shower and get some sleep. I think we’re past the worst.”
Jasper glanced up from where he’d set up vigil near the head of the bed. “You go.” The roughness of a three-day growth covered his cheeks, his usually neat beard having grown. “I don’t want to leave him alone.”
“He’s going to sleep,” Doc offered. “He’ll be al—”
“I said I wasn’t leaving him alone, Doc. Let it go.” The curt tone rolled right off Doc, and I pushed up from the broken chair I’d been sitting in until my ass had gone numb. I needed a shower. Hell, I needed food, a shower, and about ten hours of horizontal time asleep with my girl.
The dare in her dark eyes seemed an ever-present phantom in my mind. My own personal ghost. Not that I didn’t have many. Still, she was the best of all of them, and I’d barely gotten any time with her.
Fuck, she probably thought I’d hit it and quit it by now. She’d need an apology. And a gift.
Probably some groveling.
I had zero fucks in that department. I’d make it up to her on my knees and with my face buried in her cunt until she came so hard and so often, she blacked out.
That would be a good start.
Doc retreated into the hallway as I stepped out. The clinic had been the best location. Doc could monitor him, keep him sedated while we flushed his system, and since we didn’t really know what the hell he’d taken this time, we needed the help.
Especially when he flipped out and tried to have a seizure back at the clubhouse. I was here to spell Jasper out, even if he refused to leave the room and hadn’t slept in more than thirty-minute bursts in that chair. The clinic was closed currently, and it was nearly sundown. Doc wasn’t usually open on the weekends unless he was doing a vaccination clinic.
“You should get him to take some time for real sleep”
At Doc’s advice, I glanced over my shoulder. “Give it a rest. You know he’s not going to. Freddie falls off the wagon, and Jasper takes it as a personal failure. It’s one thing when he gets pinched by the cops and tossed in jail for a few days. This…”
I shook my head. It wasn’t just the drugs. It was the fact he had some cracked ribs and a concussion. There were signs that they’d burned his feet. None of us discussed the torture, we’d just catalogued it.
The 19Ds were going to be in a world of bloody and brutal hurt as soon as Freddie came through this. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when. At the moment, we were all better of
f with Jasper preoccupied with Freddie. Might give Kellan and me time for damage control.
“You guys left a bloody mess down at the Smokestacks,” Doc said as he followed me up the stairs. The community center upstairs was a great option for local kids to come and hang out after school. A safe place out of the weather and away from the dealers.
Doc’s was a haven.
No one disturbed it. Not even us.
Especially not us.
I stripped off my shirt, ignoring the fact that Doc still followed me.
“Doc, you know better than to ask questions.” What he didn’t know, he couldn’t testify to. In the bathroom, I yanked the knob to turn on the water before I scrubbed a hand over my face. I could use a shave, but I’d save that for back at the clubhouse. “If you plan on hanging out, want to grab me some clean clothes out of our bags?”
The look he shot me was less than friendly, but I ignored it. He had a right to his opinions. He went out of his way for us a lot and took a lot of shit for it. Still, I was too fucking tired to play this game right now. The door closed behind him, and I ducked under the water.
This wouldn’t be anywhere near as pleasant as my last shower, so I made quick work of cleaning up and was already toweling off by the time Doc came back. I’d throw the clothes I’d stripped out of into the washer before I went back to kick Jasper out.
“I’m going for food,” Doc said, repeating his earlier sentiment from where he stood in the middle of the common room, staring at the posters on the wall. There were a lot of them. Movies. Musicals. Even a symphony. Two for ballets.
People would freak if they knew they all had a personal meaning to us.
“So you said,” I told him, but instead of heading back downstairs to find the washer, I waited Doc out. “But you’re still here.”
Silence greeted my statement.
A full minute passed before he finally said, “Why did you guys take Emersyn?”
Surprise snapped through me. First and foremost, we hadn’t told Doc anything about this. It wasn’t our secret to tell. Nor would we. I’d carry it to my grave.
“It doesn’t matter.” The lie flowed off my tongue easily. “Don’t ask questions, Doc. You know better.”
“I do,” he said, then cut a look at me. “What I don’t know I can’t reveal. This time, however, I helped put that girl back together and I’ve left her in your care.”
Something about the way he said that last sentence tickled the back of my mind.
“I know the hell she went through, maybe better than any of you,” Doc continued. “But she’s not one of you. So why did you take her? And how long are you planning on keeping her?”
The hell she wasn’t. The idea of letting her go flushed anger through me. I’d already told him to not ask questions, so I walked away.
I walked away before I punched him. The idea of her leaving pissed me off.
It pissed me off way more than it should.
Doc didn’t let it go though, he followed me all the way down the stairs and to the mechanical room where the washer and dryer were stacked. I threw my vomit stained clothes inside.
The weight of his stare bored into me. When I was done starting the washer, Doc blocked my exit from the room.
“You don’t want to do this, Doc,” I informed him. Personally, I liked him. He was a solid guy. But if he kept this up, I would push back.
“Answer my question,” Doc ordered. “You owe me that much. Particularly where she is concerned.”
“Why the fuck do you care so much?” Jasper demanded in a harsh tone, and Doc half twisted away from me to face the hall. Probably better than letting Jasper be at his back in this mood. “You’re a doctor. You helped us put her back together. Your interest in her ended there. So did your need to know.”
“You don’t get to decide that,” Doc stated in a colder voice than I’d ever heard out of him before. “None of you do. I grant you a lot of latitude. I do that as a favor.” Every word held an element of warning and threat. Over Doc’s shoulder, I couldn’t miss Jasper’s eyes narrowing or the way his expression turned foreboding.
“She’s not yours, Doc.” The words were like an incendiary device.
“She’s not a possession,” Doc countered. “She’s not your bitch to mark and keep.”
The earlier anger billowed into a detonation of fury. She didn’t belong to either of them. But she had shared herself with me.
“What did you call her?” Jasper had a gun in his hand, and Doc stood between me and him. Three things happened that I could not explain. Jasper’s bloodshot eyes were a little wild. The gun he pulled out never actually made it up to be aimed at Doc. In fact, Jasper barely made it to Doc before Doc had disarmed him and wrenched an arm behind Jasper as he slammed Jasper against the wall.
I took two steps forward, but Doc pointed the gun at me and I stopped. I’d take the hit if I had to, but Jasper’s face was a rictus of pure rage. Doc hadn’t done anything but defend himself, and fine…fair.
Withdrawing a step, Doc released Jasper, then gave him a shove into the room with me.
“Now,” Doc said in that same cool voice he’d used earlier. I’d seen him stop wholesale slaughter using that tone. He’d backed down more than one would-be gangster with an axe to grind or some meth head flying on a bad dose. “Let’s get a few things straight. I help the Vandals because you kids need it. I look after your injuries. I patch you up. I clean up Freddie when he falls off the wagon.”
Jasper exhaled and started forward a step, but I gripped his shoulder. He shot me a dirty look but stopped. Doc wasn’t pointing the gun anymore. Better to keep it that way. “Just listen,” I advised. We could still take him if we had to, but I really didn’t want it to come to that.
“I’m not one of your rats to push around, and you’re going to learn you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar,” Doc continued.
“I’d catch plenty with your bloated corpse too,” Jasper countered. “Your point?”
“Explain why Emersyn is here. I checked. Raptor’s in the hole. There’s no way he knows.”
Oh.
Shit.
Jasper gave a little jerk. I glanced at him. Raptor was in the hole? What the hell happened to land him in solitary?
“She doesn’t belong here. The injuries I got, you brought her in pretty damn beat up. But that problem has been dealt with.” It wasn’t a question, and neither of us confirmed or denied it.
However, that particular problem was in so many different pieces and scattered for fish bait. He wouldn’t be appearing again.
Ever.
“But she’s healthy now, and in one piece. So why are you keeping her? You damn well know Raptor will tear your head off your shoulders when he finds out, if he doesn’t already know.”
Fuck. I hadn’t considered that. If he did know, it may be why he’d ended up in solitary. At the same time… “She needs us,” I answered before Jasper could, and he shot me a look. I ignored him. Unlike him, I had been paying attention to her. I’d tasted her pleasure and her pain.
Worse, I’d felt the fear she ruthlessly tried to bury and the flinches that told me so much worse had happened to her.
“She needs to be with us where she is safe and she can heal the wounds we can’t see.”
That earned me a measured look from Doc and a deeper frown from Jasper. “What do you know?”
“Enough,” I said with a shrug. “You weren’t the only one backstage and watching her before shit went sideways with the dick. More, I’ve seen how she is now. How she watches and gauges our actions and reactions before she does things, like she isn’t positive we won’t react negatively. And more…she’s still here.”
That got Jasper’s attention more effectively than slapping him. “You think it means something she hasn’t tried to escape again?”
I shrugged. “Of course it means something. What exactly? I have no idea. But I agree with you that she needs to stay with us.” I ignored the sur
prise in his expression. “Try getting to know her, Hawk, and stop snarling at her. You might find out more. When she trusts us enough to tell us where the other threats are…”
“We’ll eliminate them.”
“Agreed.” Doc’s singular nod and the hard emphasis he put on both syllables confirmed we were in lockstep on that issue.
I didn’t think Doc could shock me more than he had when he disarmed Jasper.
I was wrong.
He stripped down the gun, unloading it and removing the clip before he handed it back to Jasper. “The next time you pull that on me, you better shoot me, because I’m done with the attitude.”
“What do you mean by agreed?” Jasper took the gun back slowly and didn’t seem in a rush to put it together.
“Exactly what I said. Now go shower and change, you reek. Vaughn, keep an eye on Freddie or get some shut eye. I’m going for food. When Freddie’s well enough to go back, I’m going to pick up Emersyn to spend some time here…”
“What?”
“Excuse me?” Jasper’s words crashed into mine.
“You heard me,” Doc said, leveling us both. “When Raptor asks, he’s damn well going to know she had all of our protection, that includes mine. But you go ahead and fight me on this. I dare you.”
With that, he turned and stalked away from us. It wasn’t until the door closed at the end of the hall that Jasper turned to look at me. “What the hell was that?”
“I think Doc’s smitten with Dove.” And that might be putting it mildly.
Instead of saying anything, he slammed his fist into the door then left the room, and his feet hit the stairs with noisy thumps. I exhaled and rubbed my face before I went looking for my phone. I didn’t have it in these pants, it was still in the room where we’d been looking after Freddie.
Dove didn’t have a phone, though. That was something we needed to change. She wasn’t a prisoner, and being able to reach out to her would be nice. Nicer, would be her reaching out to us.
Freddie was still out and snoring. He looked way too damn young at the moment, even with the dark shadows under his eyes. It was too close to how he’d looked…
