The Sisters Café

by Carolyn Brown

  “Well, shit!” Agnes said.

  Chapter 25

  Brother Arnold Smith went down to the church on Thursday morning to unlock it so the ladies could begin decorating for the wedding. It must be a woman thing, because he never could see all the time, energy, and money they put into a wedding. But women set great store by all the foo-foo. So he’d do his two jobs. One was unlocking the church so they could get inside to decorate. The other was officiating at the wedding and attending the reception. His wife, Estella, said weddings and receptions were the social life of a preacher’s wife. Far be it from Brother Arnold to prevent his wife from having a proper social life.

  This wedding, he’d heard, was going to top anything Cadillac had seen since the day Violet married Ethan Prescott the third. Annabel Williams had enlisted the help of everyone in the church since she only had three weeks to get a wedding ready that should have taken six months at the very least. Even Estella was helping hot glue silk roses and crystal wedding bells to the middle of huge puffs of filmy stuff to attach to the pews.

  His wife said that his hearing was going bad, but there wasn’t one thing wrong with his ears. In her old age, she’d started whispering just to make him think he couldn’t hear. He slung open the door and started singing “Rock of Ages” at the top of his lungs. There, he could hear every note! Proving that he didn’t have a hearing problem but that she was getting chronic laryngitis in her old age.

  He made it to the middle of the church before he realized his feet were wet. When he looked down, the carpet was completely soaked and he was standing in two inches of water. The musky smell of wet carpet and the old wood beneath the carpet wafted up to his nostrils at the same time. That’s when he stopped singing and heard a bubbling noise. He turned around and hurried back to the bathrooms. The men’s room was fine, but the ladies’ room was gushing water from one toilet and the hot water tank both.

  He flipped the lever on the potty and nothing happened. He spun around to check the hot water tank sitting in the corner. The pipe bringing the water into it from underneath the church had rusted plumb through and water was spraying everywhere.

  The preacher grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and it slipped out of his hands. Like a football player trying to recover a fumble, he battled with it, snatching and grabbing until he lost his footing on the slippery, water-covered tile. His hip hit the toilet on the way down, and he heard the crack before he felt the horrible pain. He’d finally gotten a hold on the phone, so he immediately dialed 911 and then called his wife.

  “Did you get the church unlocked? Anna Ruth just called and they’re on their way with the first load of pew bows,” she whispered.

  He yelled, “Speak up, woman!”

  “Stop yelling at me!”

  “I’m dying!”

  “You are not. You’re just hard of hearing. I said Anna Ruth is on her way with bows.”

  “I am dying. I think I’ve broken my hip, and I’m lying in three inches of water waiting for the ambulance. Tell Anna Ruth to go back home and take her beau with her.”

  * * *

  Darla Jean looked forward to her trips to Blue Ridge on Thursday and that week was extra special. She had the papers for Lanita all signed and sealed, ready to deliver. Lanita was ready to get out of Blue Ridge and start a new life. Darla Jean had a friend from the business who had retired about the same time she did and moved to the Bahamas. After a year, she moved to Canada and bought a small bookstore. She kept in touch with Darla Jean and offered to give Lanita a room above the store and a job.

  They were planning a special lunch for Lanita at Betty’s place and then Darla Jean was putting one Cheri Jones on the plane to Ontario, Canada, out of DFW Airport in Dallas. Now there would be an empty bedroom for the next woman in need.

  Darla Jean tied her brown hair back into a low ponytail and dressed in jeans, a sweatshirt, and sandals that morning. She found business as usual in the kitchen over at Clawdy’s. Marty was cooking. Cathy and Trixie were waiting tables. Agnes was sitting at the table having biscuits and sausage gravy.

  “Hey, girl. What are you up to today?” Marty asked.

  “I’m on my way to Blue Ridge. Today Lanita is leaving the nest,” Darla Jean answered.

  “You are doing a good thing,” Marty said.

  “I think I’ve found my true calling. Not that I’m giving up the church, but this feels right. I’ll miss her, though. The girls and Betty have enjoyed having her.”

  “Your sister is a saint. You’ve got to bring her up to meet us sometime,” Marty said.

  “That would be nice, and I don’t mean in an ‘ain’t that nice’ way either, Trixie. I’m sure she’d love to meet my friends. She’s never asked and I ain’t never told what business I used to be into, but it would set her mind at ease to meet y’all.”

  Darla Jean poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. It was amazing how many problems had been solved around that old wooden table. But after the wedding cake and the topper business, the drama had come to a halt. Maybe the world was finally tilting back toward normality.

  She split open a biscuit and slathered butter inside. The first bite was still in her mouth when the back door burst open and there was Anna Ruth, dressed in jeans and a Western cut shirt, and with tears running down her face.

  Like flying debris in the middle of a class five tornado, drama constantly whirled around Anna Ruth. The past week must have just been the calm before the storm, because until that hussy moved to Bells, there was always going to be something going on in Cadillac.

  She fell on the floor beside Darla Jean’s chair and laid her head on Darla Jean’s lap. “Oh, Darla Jean, you’ve got to help me.”

  “What has Andy done now? Or was it Trixie?” Darla Jean asked.

  “I didn’t do jack shit. I been minding my own business and helping run this café,” Trixie said.

  Anna Ruth wailed. “The church flooded. I mean, it really flooded. It must have started right after the service on Sunday, and the preacher and his wife have been out of town seeing their kids so we didn’t have a Wednesday night service and…” She stopped to inhale, but her chin still quivered. “When the preacher went to open the church this morning, it was all covered in water because the toilet was overflowing and the hot water tank pipe broke and was spewing and what am I going to do?”

  Agnes looked up toward the ceiling and said, “Thank you!”

  “For what?” Anna Ruth frowned.

  “I wasn’t talking to you. I’m talking to God, and you aren’t supposed to interrupt a woman when she’s talking to God.”

  “Why would you thank God for this mess? It’s just awful. It won’t be aired out for a week so there won’t be services Sunday morning, and my wedding, my beautiful wedding, is on Saturday!” That set her off on another crying jag.

  Agnes slapped the table. The noise stopped all the crying. “Shut up, woman! This is my sign.”

  “What are you talking about?” Anna Ruth asked.

  “I been askin’ God to give me a sign if he wanted me to move over to Darla Jean’s church. I can’t ask for a bigger sign than the one he gave Noah. So I’m moving. Sunday I’ll be over there at your church, and I don’t want to hear a damn thing about the Good Samaritan. I’ll be on the front pew, and if Violet shows up, she can sit on the back one because I said I was changing churches first.”

  “I don’t care where you and Violet go to church on Sunday. I just need to use the church on Saturday,” Anna Ruth said. “Please, Darla Jean.”

  “If you’ll hush crying and settle down, you can use my church on Saturday, but I don’t have a reception hall. And Agnes, I’m preaching on the 23rd Psalm on Sunday, not on the Good Samaritan.”

  Anna Ruth’s tears dried up and she smiled. “Violet says we can use the community building, and it is right across the street so the people can leave their cars in
the parking lot at your church. And we’re having a little rehearsal tomorrow night. So we’d need it then, too, and we need to start decorating right now.”

  “Okay,” Darla Jean said. “I’m on my way out of town, but I’ll go show you how to lock up when you are done.”

  Anna Ruth stood up and hugged Darla Jean. “Thank you so much. Aunt Annabel is waiting in the van.”

  Darla Jean stood up and her cell phone rang. She pulled it out, pushed the button, and answered. But then she heard another ring. She looked around the room.

  “Not mine,” Trixie said.

  “Oh, that’s my new ringtone,” Anna Ruth said. She put the phone to her ear, turned white as snow, and gasped.

  “What now?” Trixie asked.

  “The preacher really did break his hip. He will be in the hospital for a week. I don’t have a preacher.” She wailed out the last word pitifully.

  Agnes grabbed her ears. “God, say you’ll marry them just to shut her up.”

  “God wouldn’t marry them if he lost a bet with the devil, Agnes,” Trixie said.

  “I’ll preach at your wedding if you won’t faint right here on the kitchen floor,” Darla Jean told Anna Ruth. “Now let’s get on out of here so these people can get their work done. Lord, what an unholy nightmare.”

  She ushered a shaking Anna Ruth out to the van, put her inside, and slammed the door.

  It would all be over on Sunday, and they could settle down into routine again. The plumbing at her church was fine and tile covered the floors, so if it did flood, nothing would be ruined. And all she had to do was preach the wedding, which she’d do in the middle of a snowstorm to get Andy and Anna Ruth out of town so neither of them would interfere with her friends’ lives anymore.

  * * *

  With Lanita’s help, Betty had made gumbo, boiled shrimp, rice, and beignets for lunch. Five women sat around the table with good food in front of them and tears in their eyes.

  “Okay,” Darla Jean said. “Enough of this sadness. I’ve already seen enough tears to last a week today. And this is a happy day. This is a day of jubilee. A woman is going to the Promised Land to get a brand new start. She’s been saved from an abusive man and she is starting a new life.”

  “Yes, I am, but I hate to go and leave this wonderful home,” Lanita said. “If it’s not too sad, tell us about the tears you’ve already seen today.”

  “It’s a long story,” Darla Jean said.

  “We’ve got two hours until we have to leave,” Lanita said.

  Darla Jean filled a bowl with gumbo and entertained them with the story as they ate, from the first of the summer when she’d fallen on her hind end out in the street trying to see who Agnes had shot, to that morning.

  She finished her story and reached for another beignet just as the clock struck twice. Betty stood up, picked up Lanita’s suitcase, and carried it toward the door. “Hugs but no weeping. That’s the rule, girls.”

  Lindsey hugged Lanita tightly. “I’ll miss you and every time I look at the moon I will remember you.”

  Misty hugged her. “Layla and I’ll remember you every time we sing the Cajun lullaby.”

  “Me too,” Lanita said past the lump in her throat. “You two take care of Betty and Layla.”

  Lanita walked out of the house.

  Cheri Jones got into the pickup with a suitcase full from donations to the church clothing bank. And she looked straight ahead as they drove south out of Blue Ridge.

  Darla Jean could feel her pain.

  “You want to know why I chose that name?” Lanita asked.

  Darla Jean nodded.

  “My grandmother never called me by my name. She always called me her sweet little cher, which is a Cajun endearment. And Jones is such a common name and so far removed from Landeaux, which was my maiden name.”

  “Very good,” Darla Jean said.

  “They won’t ever leave,” Lanita said.

  “Who?”

  “Your new daughters. They’ve found a home. I would have liked to but it’s just not far enough from him. I’m a little nervous but I trust you, Darla Jean. God walks right along beside you. I know it. I can feel it.”

  * * *

  Agnes was watching her afternoon soaps when the phone rang. She waited until the commercial started and picked it up.

  “You got five minutes to talk and then I’m hanging up because my show will be back on,” she said.

  “Good grief, Agnes, you are a snappy old thing today. It’s this changing weather. It’s gettin’ to all of us. Did you hear about the church?” Beulah asked.

  “I did. It’s a sign from God that I need to start going elsewhere. So I’m going to put my dollar in the collection plate at Darla Jean’s church on Sunday. Violet can have the church that God flooded.”

  Beulah gasped. “God didn’t flood our church. The toilet did.”

  “You think God ain’t got a message in that? Floodin’ the church with shitty water? Sounds like he’s tellin’ me to find another place. You and Violet, y’all go on and buy some new carpet and redo the bathroom. I’ll be goin’ to the one I can walk to from now on.”

  “Agnes, you have gone plumb crazy.”

  “Way I see it is that the rest of you are the crazy people. If God rains down shit from the clouds, y’all will probably stand out there and let it fall on you. Now my show is back on so good-bye.”

  * * *

  Marty and Jack washed up after getting the last of the latest remodel done on the Caddy.

  “If it don’t get cold and stay cold, we’re all going to die of pneumonia. This changing back and forth is tough on the allergies,” Jack said.

  “Amen to that. Are you bringing a plus one to the wedding?”

  “No, I’m bringing a plus three. You, Cathy, and Trixie.”

  “Your mamma is afraid you’re going to take women into your house and there will be gossip.”

  “It won’t be gossip, darlin’; it will be the unadulterated gospel truth.” Jack grinned. “Hey, I heard there was a new chapter in the Andy and Anna Ruth wedding book?”

  “That damn book is going to go on until three days past eternity.” She went on to tell him about the church and the preacher. “Next thing you know she’ll be sick and want one of us to stand in her place and marry Andy by proxy for her.”

  * * *

  John dove under the covers with Cathy. It had been warm that morning so he’d turned the heat off and now it was really cold.

  “We are pretending it’s December and we are in Colorado in the mountains. We’re snowed in and we can’t do anything but have sex for a whole week,” he teased.

  Cathy snuggled up next to him. “Then keep me warm. Speaking of warm, don’t plan anything for Saturday afternoon. We’re going to the wedding I’ve been talking about. Aunt Agnes swears she’s going and I don’t want her to have to sit alone. She’s a salty old girl and after the Jubilee upheaval, I owe her big-time. And besides, Darla Jean will be officiating, and it will take me and Marty both to keep Agnes out of trouble. Lord, she might ruin the whole wedding.”

  “Honey, long as you don’t make me put on a three-piece suit, I’d be glad to go to a wedding with you. I’d even be glad to go to our wedding with you.”

  “I know, but when we do this, it’s not going to be with all that fanfare, and it’s not going to be right before Christmas. I’m thinking maybe just the two of us on a mountaintop in Colorado or on a tropical beach in the wintertime with the white sand under my bare feet.”

  “Yep, my kind of woman. Now let’s make some heat of our own,” he said.

  * * *

  Jack removed his gun, badge, and radio and locked them in a desk drawer, untucked his shirttail, and unbuttoned it as he headed for the shower. Holidays always caused a whole rash of crazy things. People bitched about their neighbors’ dog
s or their cars making too much noise. Tonight a whole block of people were without electricity because someone plugged in too many Christmas lights and blew out a transformer.

  One woman called to complain about her neighbor’s blow-up Christmas decoration blocking her view of the road. So much for spreading love in the season!

  Love!

  He wasn’t opposed to finding a special someone someday, but he’d be damned if he dressed up in a tux like Andy had brought by the station that day. It had a cummerbund and a vest, plus a cravat. The policemen were supposed to show up in dress blues. Jack already dreaded wearing that tight uniform, and the wedding was two days away.

  Trixie knocked on the door and waltzed right in without a “come on in, the door is open.” “We had leftover fried chicken so I made you up a platter, and Marty made her blackberry cobbler so I brought a chunk of it for you.”

  “Beans and greens?” He opened containers.

  “Oh, yeah. Dinner ain’t worth havin’ without beans and greens. You are going to the wedding, right?”

  “Yes, I am. In my dress uniform,” he groaned.

  “I’m going too. I’ve decided to go to prove to you and Marty and everyone else that it’s over between Andy and me.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Jack said.

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “You want to see just what kind of god-awful show Anna Ruth has orchestrated. And it’s payback for the way Andy treated you. Nothing like watching him have to stand there in that monkey suit and vow to be faithful, is there?”

  Trixie laughed. “Well, there is that too! And Agnes swears she’s going. It’ll take all of us to keep her out of trouble.”

  Chapter 26

  On Friday night, Ella’s Beauty Shop stayed open until eight o’clock. She liked to close at noon on Saturday, so in fairness to her customers, she put in a long day on Friday. Her granddaughter, Kayla, did fancy nails in the corner of the shop, and to generate some business she was running a two-for-one special that week. If one person came in for a manicure, they could bring a friend and she’d do their nails for free.