by K. K. Allen
“I appreciate the work that you put into this meal and all, but it’s been a week, babe. Don’t you have something you need me to take care of, first.”
Wolf presses against me, hands roaming across my chest. I stifle a laugh and slap his hand away. “Oh, no you don’t. The noodles are almost done and we both know I’ll burn the bread if I leave this kitchen. Why don’t you grab a beer and tell me about the tour?”
He groans but tears himself away, going straight for the fridge. He grabs a beer for himself and pours me a glass of wine. I busy myself, checking the rolls, flavoring the meat, and draining the pasta while Wolf tells me about the reaction to the band’s latest single, “One Truth.”
“It’s already on an hourly rotation at Rock and Top 40 stations everywhere. They’re calling it our best yet. I corrected them. Told them Dangerous Hearts would always be …” as Wolf’s excitement carries him away, none of what he tells me surprises me in the least.
Wolf’s writing has taken the band in a new direction, more acoustic which highlights the band’s individual talents. Wolf was already the number one international band around, but they’re proving that they’ve got longevity when most of their competition is trying to catch up. Nothing tops the sound of an angsty musician spilling his soul into every original word of every song.
“Which means,” I cut in, “everyone should be sick of it before the new record drops.”
“I’d spank your ass for saying that but you’re probably right. You’re going to need to start writing for me again.”
I don’t answer him right away, instead, I try to mask my smile with a sheet of my hair as I stir the meat once more before turning down the heat. After checking everything to make sure the food is covered and still warming, I turn to face Wolf again. He goes to hand me my wine, but I shake my head, telling him “not now” and take a deep breath.
“Actually, I did write you something.”
Wolf’s eyes grow wide with surprise. “You did?”
“It’s pretty bare bones, but I think you can work with it. If you want.”
His eyes light up in anticipation. Lyrics. It’s what brought us together, what tore us apart, and what brought us together again. For so many different reasons, good and bad, music is our lifeline.
I lead him from the dining room and into our sitting room where a grand piano awaits. So much about this moment reminds me of another one. A less happier memory, but one that made me just as anxious. I’d kept so much of myself from Wolf in the beginning. Hell, I kept it from myself too. Just shut out my past and prayed to never deal with it again. Life doesn’t work that way. Avoiding a past doesn’t stop it from haunting you day-in and day-out.
Wolf takes the spot beside me on the bench, still giving me space to move around the keys. It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything for Wolf’s band, even though he’s begged for my words. He still doesn’t realize this, but he doesn’t need them anymore.
I’m still writing. I’ll never be able to stop. But a new band needs me now. My dad, Mitch Cassidy, has taken a permanent vacation from the limelight as international superstar to fulfill other dreams of his, and in turn, he’s helping me fulfill mine. Off tour, he’s busied himself with helping up-and-coming bands with their stage presence and by booking them some initial gigs. He’s asked me to write something that will fit their sound.
So, while my husband is away, music keeps me happily engaged in activities outside of Wolf’s. But this time, there was more to me staying in Chicago while he traveled. And I hope he shares my excitement.
A deep breath in and out usually helps to settle my nerves, but not this time. There’s too much at stake. I play the first few notes and smile, but I refuse to look at him. If I do, he’ll read everything I’m about to share with him on my face. Nothing can ruin this moment.
* * *
You gave me a key, free reign to all my dreams
Handcrafted my throne, with happy melodies
When times got rough, the bad melted away
With your soft touch, and the promise that you’ll stay
* * *
Always singing your sweet melodies
Laughing or crying, your words hold onto me
And I’m craving you so hard I can’t sleep
When you’re gone you whisper the sweetest melodies
Will you sing them to our baby?
* * *
You gave me the stars and hung the moon
Built a secret garden for me and for you
A lifetime babe, it’s all I see
Just you, just me, and our sweet melody
* * *
Always singing your sweet melodies
Laughing or crying, your words hold onto me
And I’m craving you so hard I can’t sleep
When you’re gone you whisper the sweetest melodies
Will you sing them to our baby?
* * *
The air is still, everything quiet, save for the lingering final note that seems to go on forever. I’m afraid to turn. He’s still there. I can feel his breath, the weight of his silence. What if he isn’t happy about the news? What if this changes everything?
“Lyric.”
I swallow, turn, and catch the sheen of moisture on his eye. Taking in a sharp breath, I can feel the prick of emotion behind my own lids. “Please tell me you’re happy about this.”
Jesus, I can barely breathe. Wolf has never felt so far away, like a thick pane of glass separates us and if I touch it to reach him it might just shatter. As strong as we’ve become as a couple, we haven’t talked about kids. Between his father’s abandonment and his mother’s death when he was so young, he may not be ready, maybe not ever.
“Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”
My eyes dart between is. There’s only one answer to that question, but I’m terrified to confirm it. This could change everything. “I think so.”
“Are we having a baby?”
I nod, mouth pinched as a tear rolls down my cheek. I swallow and try for a breath. “I know we didn’t plan this, but we’ve proven that we can get through anything. I think we can do this, Wolf. And …” I watch his expression to see if I’m getting any reaction. Nothing. Blank. My heart twists. “I’m happy about it. I think you will be too. Maybe it just takes some getting used to the idea.”
I’m rambling now. Because he hasn’t said a word, and his expressionless face is giving me the craziest anxiety. This baby is coming, planned or not. But I can’t make Wolf get excited about something that might simply terrify him.
His eyes are locked on my stomach now which is still covered by the apron. He moves a hand to touch it, but he doesn’t use his entire palm. He just touches it as if something might jump out and bite him. I watch in complete fascination as his throat moves and a line appears between his eyes before looking up at me again.
And there it is. The first sign of a reaction. His caramel eyes widening slightly, then glossing with emotion. In an instant, my heart feels like it might burst. I cup his cheeks, trying not to hold him too hard. “Baby, say something. Please. Is this okay?” God, please tell me you want this baby, too.
A frown darkens his face before he shakes his head like I’m crazy, grips the back of my neck with his hand, and then smashes his lips to mine. I dissolve into him again, my anxiety draining away as he answers me with his lips, his mouth, his tongue. I’m crying as he pulls me closer, wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me until we’re both starving for air.
We pull away, gasping and clinging. And then he finally speaks.
“Fuck yes, Lyric. It’s more than okay. How long have you known?”
I smile and run the pad of my thumb over the scruff of his cheek. “I had a feeling before you left so I made an appointment.” Shrugging, I eye him cautiously. “I wanted to find out for sure before I told you. We’ve joked about having kids one day, but we never discussed a timeline. There’s still so much to talk about. With o
ur schedules, and your new album. You’re already planning a new tour. I want to travel with you, but there will come a point where I won’t be able to anymore, and I—”
“Lyric,” Wolf is laughing as he kisses my collarbone. “Babe, stop.” He slouches slightly so our faces our level. He waits until my eyes have settled on him before he speaks again. “We’re going to do this right. We have a manager that will work around our schedules, not the other way around. I promise, everything will be fine.”
“So, you’re happy?”
At some point in our conversation, his frown had lifted into a smile, and from then it’s been his full-blown, signature Wolf grin. “I didn’t think you could make me happier than you just have.”
The tears of relief come in one long stream. Wolf holds me, but I’ve been so anxious about his answer that it’s all been building for days. “I love you, Lyric. I know we’ve never talked seriously about kids, but I always imagined having them with you.”
“You have?” Using the backs of my hands, I wipe the tears away. “Wait.” I look up, rethinking his words. “Them? As in multiple kids?”
He laughs and then nods, lips quirked now. “Do you remember when we were in Coral Gables, before all that craziness went down? You slept in one day and walked into the kitchen when I was making lunch. I never told you this then, but when I saw you, my future flashed before my eyes. I pictured you barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. We may not have planned it, but I wanted this. Only with you.”
I lean in, brushing his lips with mine before smiling. “I love when you tell me all the things you never would have told me then.”
Wolf scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the couch, laying me down and hovering over my body. Peppering kisses along my jawline and throat, he teases me with his words. “When you first bumped into me on the elevator at Perform Live, I wanted to strip you naked and do all sorts of filthy things with you.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “I already knew that. That’s pretty much all you ever wanted.”
He chuckles and then runs his unshaven scruff along my cheek playfully. “Not true. You’re sexy as hell, Lyric, but I was in love with you before I even knew the magic you would weave with your words. You’re the only woman I would ever settle for. My only repeat. My only love. And the only one I’ve ever wanted to put a baby inside.”
His voice becomes muffled as works on untying my apron. I lift the strap over my head to help as he peels the rest of it away. Then his eyes drop to my stomach where I taped the string of polaroid photos from my sonogram earlier this week. Gently, he pulls them from me, examining each one close.
“I’m three weeks. They wanted to do an ultrasound to check on the growth. I’m three weeks, twenty-one days.” I pat my stomach, and when Wolf looks down, his eyes become watery again.
“Holy fuck, this is real.” I laugh and watch as he lowers the polaroid in his hand to the coffee table and leans down, planting a kiss on my not-yet-rounded belly softly. “Is it too early to tell if it’s a boy or girl?”
I nod, running my hands through Wolf’s disheveled hair. “Too early. Not until twenty weeks.”
I know our pasts are long-gone and buried. Neither of us had the best childhood, and two years ago, we would probably laugh at the thought of having a child, especially together. But now, nothing feels more perfect.
“I want to be there.” He stays low against my stomach, but his eyes find mine. “Every appointment, Lyric. I want to be there.”
My throat tightens as I nod. “Of course.” How could I have ever questioned if he’d want to be at every appointment or not? He should have been with me this week.
There’s a living being inside me that will depend on our love, our devotion, our time, and commitment. We’ve dealt with some rough obstacles in our relationship, but this isn’t one of them. This is life, and we’re both ready to face it together.
“Have you thought of names?”
I smile as he removes his shirt, then his pants, and crawls up my body to press his lips to mine. “I’ve thought of a couple.”
“Yeah?” He kisses me again.
“Melody if it’s a girl.”
He chuckles before kissing me again. “I could have guessed that.”
I slap his shoulder and roll my eyes. “What about Slash if it’s a boy? Or Ace? Cooper?” Wolf’s head comes up to eye me warily. I gasp in exaggeration. “Axel?”
Wolf chuckles again and buries his mouth in my neck. “Funny. How about let’s just pray it’s a girl? I don’t think you could handle a boy. My mom almost had a heart attack when I started dating. She couldn’t figure out why I never brought the same girl home twice.”
I slap his back again and laugh. “You were awful.”
“I was.” He wiggles his brows and bites his lip, eyes darkening. “Still am, baby.”
When he slides down my body and his head starts moving between my legs, I submit. We can argue about baby names all night, for the next eight months. Right now, I need to feel my man again. And he needs me.
Nothing about us has ever been slow. It’s always felt as if we’re racing against the clock. But not today. Not in this moment. We have everything we could possibly ever need, and now everything we want.
He brushes a hand down my side, from my arms to my waist, and then between my legs. I’m already wet when he finds my center and spreads my legs with his knee. By now, Wolf is the master conductor to my body. He knows every curve and bend, every tense string to flick with hand and mouth, every rise and fall of every crescendo, and every sound he demands from me with each powerful beat.
His strong back ripples beneath my palms. I slide them down, his skin already slick with sweat as he pumps into me with a steady force. We make love, our favorite way. Slow, soft, and intense, Wolf’s drive meeting my passion. I couldn’t have imagined a better way to start this new journey together.
Him, me, two strong hearts and the seed of our love growing inside me. There’s never been a sweeter melody.
As Long As Fate Will Allow
Lyric
Author’s Note: The following scene is a bonus scene that was written originally for Book Main + Bites. It takes place during the two month span that Lyric and Wolf are hiding their relationship from the band and still figuring things out. Enjoy!
Today. This venue. This show. This crowd.
Everything is perfect.
From the moment the bus pulled through the backstage gate for soundcheck, I could feel that special something in the air. Something other than adrenaline-that natural high that comes with the gig. That's a given. This is different-this magic that only comes along once in a while when all the stars align just right.
I don't know. Maybe it's always there. Maybe I'm just too exhausted to feel it most other nights, but it's undeniable now, and I'll ride its wave as far as it will take me.
"Dude, you've been smiling like an idiot since we got here. You're confusing people." Hedge, my bandmate, claps a heavy hand between my shoulder blades and chuckles.
I shake him off with a roll of my arm and puff out my chest. Fuck if I'll let him, anyone, ruin this moment. "Tell me you feel that, man."
After a lingering "Are you crazy?" look in my direction, Hedge turns toward the empty stadium and runs a hand through his thick, curly hair. "Um. Yeah, dude. That Mexican food fucked me up pretty hard, too."
I laugh, not sure why I'm bothering. Hedge feels the magic every night as long as he's got his bass between his fingers and a woman riding his cock. He doesn't lose sleep over mixing business with pleasure. Hedge has zero complaints when it comes to this life, and I love him for it. It wasn't long ago that I felt the same way.
He levels me with his eyes then shivers dramatically. "Holy shit. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were in love, Wolf. Good thing I know better." With a final hard glance in my direction, Hedge struts away, leaving me alone on the stage.
In love? Shit. My pulse quickens. Does he know? He couldn't possibly. Lyr
ic and I have kept quiet while whatever this was brewed between us. I didn't even realize that it was mounting until it all came to a head yesterday. But love? I wouldn't go that far.
Lyric Cassidy has undoubtedly gotten a glimpse of the darkest parts of me, but I don't fall in love. I won't fall in love. There's too much opportunity for her to turn around and walk straight back into that blinding light where she came from, and I'm not stupid enough to let that happen.
I'm so lost in thought as I stare out into the stadium that I don't notice the footsteps approaching behind me until they halt just a few feet away.
"Wolf. Are you okay?"
There's no mistaking the concern in her tone. The fear. The borderline regret. But what I latch onto is the hope. It's loud, and it squeezes my heart with a force that sends me reeling.
She clears her voice after too much silence. "The band went back to the hotel. You can ride with me if you want. Unless you're busy."
I turn, my eyes falling on the woman who breezed into my life unexpectedly. Like she'd always belonged there. To add to my dilemma, she's wearing black leggings and a ripped Wolf tank top that reveals her white sports bra underneath. She's fucking beautiful ... and in so much trouble.
"You go running without me?" I ask, hearing the growl in my own words. Running with Lyric is one of the highlights of being on tour with her. After being stuck on a bus for hours a day, it's how we release our built up energy. It's the only time we have together when we're allowed to be alone. Where no one questions our motives.
My cock thickens at the sight of her standing there, her sexy lips set in their natural pout, and her sage eyes glowing. I was looking forward to our run today. After what happened between us yesterday and the way I've been floating on a cloud of bliss all day, a release is much needed. I'll just need to find another way to get it.
