by DW Cee
Next came risotto with white truffle, and pure bliss fell on her face again. Somewhere along the way she had told me how much she liked white—not black—truffles. Like a child in a candy shop, she thoroughly enjoyed herself.
I finally got to ask her about her family. I felt almost negligent not knowing anything about her parents or siblings and why they weren’t around. My heart broke when she told me that her dad died when she was in middle school and her mom followed her dad when Emily was in high school. Her only relatives, her maternal grandparents, passed away sometime during her college years.
She teared when she spoke of her parents. I wished I could’ve been her comfort during those lonely years. Our family would have overwhelmed her with love. I longed to tell her that my love would be sufficient to make up for the loss of her father, mother, and grandparents. Oh, Emily. My heart was heavy.
Another question I had for her was how she paid for college and living expenses, and how she had bought a house already. In the cutest way, she eyed the whole roasted turbot, watching the servers fillet it and place it on each plate with a burnt lemon. She was fascinated by this lemon. She smelled it, tasted it, squeezed some on her fish, then quickly chewed a bite before answering my questions.
“Underneath this weak frame, I have a survival mentality.” She then told me how she had worked since high school as a tutor, supported herself through college, and bought her current home with her earnings plus money from the sale of a condo her grandparents bequeathed her. What an amazing woman she was. Behind the pretty face and tender heart, she was a true fighter. I didn’t realize she had so much strength in her. It didn’t seem possible to love her any more than I already did, but my admiration for her grew deeper with each passing course.
Naturally, I had to pose the most important question. “Can I ask about your relationship with Max? Do you mind telling me? I’d also like to know what happened with you and Max last night, if you don’t mind.”
She looked hesitant but began dissecting their relationship. “Max and I met our freshman year and it was absolute love at first sight.”
“Lucky guy.” I was jealous already. “So what about him did you like so much?”
She made me feel insecure as she laughed at my question. “You guys are both so funny,” she explained.
I gave her a why look and she answered, “Max asked me the same question last night.”
It made me feel good to know that they were talking about me and not about themselves.
“So what did you tell him?” I hoped it was something great.
“I think I’ll keep you guessing on that one.” She gave me an adorable wink and I couldn’t help but be even more enamored.
She continued with her wonderful years with Max, how they spent every waking moment together, and how she believed they would get married. Emily talking about marriage with another guy didn’t settle well with me. She couldn’t talk beyond today with me, but she had thought about the rest of her life with Max. It disturbed me.
“I’m sorry, Jake!” she quickly apologized. My face must have told her what my heart told me. “You didn’t need to hear all of that. I got a bit carried away.” She kept apologizing.
Stupidly, I asked her to continue though she appeared hesitant. I chuckled, wondering if she was hesitant to talk for fear of hurting my feelings or because she wanted to eat her well-marbled Japanese beef sirloin. She eyed her meat several times and without looking, there was no doubt her mouth was watering. I watched to see what she would pick—satisfying my curiosity concerning the state of her heart, or satisfying her curiosity of the palate. Happily surprised, I won. Conceivably I was overtaking food as her biggest passion.
She continued at my prodding. “Well, there’s not much more to say. On graduation day, Max appeared nervous all day and tried to avoid me so I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. Instead, after the ceremony, he broke up with me, giving me some excuse about not being ready for a serious commitment. Just like that he let go of four years; the bond I thought could never be broken…broke.”
There was sadness in her voice and possibly tears in her eyes. I didn’t want to look at her. Today, she confirmed my fears. She had been deeply in love with Max and their breakup shattered her heart and her trust in love. Because she had believed all those years she would marry a guy, who eventually left her, she was afraid to think about marriage with me for fear that I would leave her as well. Our mood had turned dark. I attempted to change it.
“So I’m still wondering how you answered Max last night about your feelings for me.”
She showed a loving smile and answered, “Well, I told Max how comfortable I feel with you. I feel protected and secure and I can be myself with you. Although I’ve only known you for a short while, it’s like you’ve been with me my whole life.”
Emily spoke aloud exactly what I felt. I too felt that comfortable with her, like she was meant to be in my life forever.
“I don’t know,” she continued. “It’s a bit strange but you’re the only person aside from my parents who makes me feel entirely comfortable. I can’t quite explain this. Max got very angry with me last night when I told him this.”
“You mean you’ve never felt entirely comfortable with Max?” I finally had one up on this guy—and a big one it was.
“With Max, I was always trying to please him. I think I was infatuated with him. Max appeared at a time in my life when I had nobody but my grandparents. My parents were gone and I didn’t have any siblings to share my pain. Max not only became my boyfriend, but he also became my only family. I think I smothered him with my love. Maybe I was a borderline stalker. That’s probably why he eventually broke up with me.”
I had to laugh at this statement or I’d want to cry thinking about the hold Max had on my Emily. She considered him much more than a man to love; she had thought of him as her only family. No wonder he’d had such a profound impact on her. This was probably why she couldn’t completely let go. Who can let go of a family member? But, he was not her family, and I needed her to realize he was no longer a part of her life. I would like to be her boyfriend, and I would like to be her family. My immediate and extended family would all welcome her with the same love I had. This was the life I wanted to show her.
“You want to know the hardest part about this breakup?” she asked me.
Did I want to know? Nope. But she was going to tell me anyway.
“All the loves in my life left me without any warning—my dad, mom, and Max. I don’t think I loved anyone as much as I loved these three people and I felt abandoned by all of them.” She held back those pesky tears. “I had a tough year and a half of letting go. Four years wasted...”
At this point, I wanted to stop talking about Max and give her the ring and ask her to be my girlfriend. But there was a nagging question that had to be asked. Terrified of the answer, I held off until I couldn’t any longer. “Are you sure you’re over Max? Do I want to know?”
She started talking about how Max had apologized to her last night and how she had finally found closure. She said, “Yes, I am over him, but four years is hard to erase.” This statement didn’t reassure my uneasy feelings. She’d given me more of herself during lunch than she had the last couple of months, but I still needed more.
She caught me off guard and asked me about my relationships. Not wanting to explain everyone I’d dated since—there were many more than her one Max—talking about Kelley was the only solution. My most recent “girl,” Allison, needed to be kept top secret. Though I talked about Kelley, Emily was so engrossed in her chocolate cake and cinnamon ice cream, I didn’t know how much she’d heard or maybe even cared.
To both our delight Uncle Dave had asked Thomas Keller to stop by and say hello. Emily’s face lit up. I’d have to talk to her about how she never looked this excited when I entered the room. He asked her about her favorite dishes and her answers cracked me up. Of course she picked all the dishes that were supplemental charg
es on top of the hefty pre fixe tab. This girl was going to be expensive to court.
Nine courses of fine food, an intimate talk with my love, a meeting with Thomas Keller, and a kitchen tour later, we drove back down to the city. Without any explanation, I took her to our apartment near the Ferry Building and hoped to rest before starting the next half of our day.
Emily had a bewildered stare and wondered where we were. Since she told me she didn’t like surprises, I’d have to continue surprising her till she got used to it—at least for the rest of our lives together. When I opened the door to our apartment, Emily walked in and studied the place silently. Ending the surprise, I explained that this apartment belonged to our family and that we were here to rest before dinner and the show.
“Dinner? Show? How can you eat again after French Laundry?” She shook her head no. “There’s no way I can eat again today. I am so full. Besides, I have nothing to wear to attend any shows up here. What are we going to watch?”
She looked stunning in her dress, but I knew Jane had gone out and picked out something nice for her. I wanted to delight her again. We both headed to the sofa, hoping to hang out for a few hours. Relaxing in front of the TV and maybe even taking a nap sounded like the perfect remedy to all our libations.
I brought her as close to me as possible and the next thing I knew, she was dead asleep against my arms. Carefully, I laid her with me on the large sofa. She was nestled between me and the back of the sofa. My arms cradled her neck and she used my chest as a pillow. This was how I imagined our life to be—a lazy nap together on a weekend afternoon. With both my arms curled around her body, I dozed off with her.
Happily, I woke up to Emily’s arm sprawled across my chest. She slept like an angel—my angel—while my lips grazed the top of her head and my hand worked the remote.
“Oh, my gosh.” She awoke sooner than I would have liked. “How long have I been asleep?”
“A couple of hours, I think.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake. I can’t believe I fell asleep on you. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep on a date before.”
“It was nice. I rather liked it. You appeared quite cozy.” I kissed her again and wrapped both my arms around her tight.
“Um…I didn’t drool on you, did I?”
Her face turned a cute shade of red. “Do you normally?” I asked, laughing at her flustered look.
“I don’t think so but of course the first time I fall asleep with a man, I would make a fool of myself.”
I pondered her statement. What could she have meant about this being the first time she fell asleep with a guy? She broke my thought by trying to get up and get away from me.
There was no way we were changing this perfect position. Instead, I pulled her body up to my eyes. Not aware whose lips reached first, they joined excitedly together. She had wanted this as much as I had. Excited to share in an embrace, I couldn’t keep my mouth in one place. There were too many parts of her body I wanted to explore, but with the position that we were in, I couldn’t reach beyond her face and neck. She responded to my every touch.
Right as I was about to get up and carry her into my room, there was a knock on the door that was far worse than any pager. I got up and opened the door to the doorman delivering all of Emily’s clothes for tonight. Perusing through the stack, Jane had done a nice job.
“What’s all this?” Emily looked through the rolling rack. “How did this all get here?”
“Jane’s in San Francisco right now, and she helped me. She offered to go out and get all this for you. I hope you don’t mind. Jane’s the only girl in the family and she’s always wanted a sister. She’s more than excited to meet you and become your friend. Is that OK?”
“Jane, your sister? Oh, I can’t wait to meet her!” She had that childlike excitement on her face and in her voice.
“Jane is quite an opera buff and I remembered you talking about Carmen. So Jane helped out again and got us seats at the opera house, and that’s the final half of our date. We are meeting her for dinner so you have to eat again.”
Her face turned into one of sincere appreciation. I’d never seen such tenderness in her eyes before. Something I just said or did made her look at me like I was her answer to love. I didn’t know what I had done, but I enjoyed the admiration.
“Jake, this has been one of the most amazing dates. Lunch was a gastronomic feast. Meeting the chef owner was almost as phenomenal as lunch and I’m really touched you figured out how much I like opera. I guess you do listen during our dates even though they’re always cut short. You are an amazing man.” She came to me and put her arms around my body.
“I love you, Emily,” was on the tip of my tongue but I held off just a bit longer.
She and I both went into separate rooms and got dressed for dinner. I got out before Emily, waiting with one more surprise. Finally, this was our time to commit to one another. I feared Emily’s response to the ring, but I knew today we had made huge progress. I held in my hand a box—like the kind a girl would receive when a man was down on one knee about to propose to the woman he loved. This was a tempting thought. I didn’t think she would agree to marriage—yet.
Emily walked out looking dazzling in a formal gown. She curiously eyed my hand.
“I want to ask you something.” I started my thought process with these words. “This is for you.” I opened up her hand and placed the box. “Please don’t be scared. It’s not as serious as it looks.”
She did look scared. Carefully unwrapping the bow and opening the box, she looked back and forth between the ring and my face. “Um…it’s stunning but could you explain this ring to me?”
Maybe a quarter-inch band with hundreds of diamonds was a bit serious when asking her to be my girlfriend. I just hoped it would fit on one of her fingers.
“It’s not an engagement ring. I wish it were, though I’d probably buy a bigger diamond if I were proposing, nor a wedding band as you might fear. I wanted to give you a ring that symbolized our commitment to one another.” I didn’t like the way that sounded. I deleted that statement and held her hands. “Emily, we’ve dated a couple of months now and I know you’re not quite sure where we stand in the formal sense. This talk is long overdue. I actually bought this ring for you after our first date. Even back then, I knew I wanted to be with you. I mean, date only you.” I babbled a few more incoherent thoughts then got straight to the point. “Um…I would like for us to date…exclusively date. What I mean is…Will you be my girlfriend?” This was a lot harder to ask than originally thought.
Emily eyed me curiously then giggled. I couldn’t believe I had a ring in my hand, a serious question of commitment out of my mouth, and all she could do was giggle.
“Are you going to answer? You’re making me nervous.”
“OK, so let me get this straight. You spend thousands of dollars to ask my permission to do what we are already doing now? Dating?” Now that she put it this way, the ring did seem a little over the top.
I reminded her that she was the one who needed clarity and a title to what we were doing.
“Aren’t we already exclusively dating? Have you been seeing other girls as well? Is that why it’s so hard to spend any time with you?” This joke I neither got nor wanted to laugh at. She saw the annoyance on my face.
“I haven’t had a desire or need to see anyone else. I feel blessed to be with you,” she reassured me. “I trust you and feel most secure when we’re together. You are the only man I want to be with.” These choice words melted my heart.
“What about Max?” I needed an answer to clear my doubts once and for all.
As much as I appreciated her words, I thought about the two of them last night and felt insecure again. Could there be a possibility she would want to get back together with him again? As she had said earlier, four years was hard to erase. She studied my face again and knew she needed to reassure me even more.
“I’m sorry you had to witness my first encounter with
Max and his new girlfriend. Being such an awkward moment, I didn’t react the way I would have liked. I guess it hurt me more than I thought it would, even with you by my side.”
This was not what I wanted to hear, but she continued anyway. “But you and our relationship add so much joy to my life. I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the only person who makes me feel entirely comfortable. I’m elated when we’re together and lonely when we’re apart. Will this answer do? I would be honored to be your girlfriend.”
The second half of her statement definitely made up for the first half. I contemplated telling her how much I loved her. Not wanting anything close to a rejection after her confession just now, I decided to wait again.
Jane and Emily needed no introduction when they met at Quince. They instantly bonded. They began their conversation talking about New York. I didn’t realize how much Emily liked New York. She told Jane she wished she’d lived there at some point in her life. This was also something I’d have to try to do for her.
“Jake was so miserable when you were in New York.” Jane started talking about me. Emily smiled and squeezed my hand. “You should have seen him at Thanksgiving. We were all seated at a large table and we noticed Jake constantly looking down at his lap. Finally, Uncle Henry went over and grabbed what was in his lap—his phone, of course—and took it away from him. It drove him nuts that he was texting you, but you wouldn’t respond.”
“Well, by the time you all sat down for dinner, we were toward the end of ours and Sarah’s grandma was telling us stories of her childhood. I couldn’t get up from the table, nor could I text in secret, so I didn’t respond. I got so many texts that Sarah, my best friend, was really annoyed. She told me to go back home if we were constantly going to be on the phone with each other.”
“Yeah, well Jake got into trouble with Uncle Henry, but he didn’t care. He got his phone back and kept waiting for your response.”
“In all honesty, I was pretty miserable too. Apparently Sarah and her boyfriend, Charlie, had a bet going that week.” From the insane kiss she gave me at the airport, miserable was an understatement.
