by DW Cee
“Why?”
“Because, you’re going to meet me in Paris. We’re going to take that romantic trip you promised me. If you agree to meet me in Paris, then I’ll let you finish out the school year.” This was more than a fair deal.
Her huge grin said it all—no answer necessary.
“Also, I have one more request,” I added. “I’m going to buy you a laptop with a webcam. I canNOT go another two weeks without seeing you—not after having endured five months. We will set up a time to talk each day.”
She grumbled. “Is that necessary? It’s only twelve days. What a waste of money.”
I gave her a don’t-argue-with-me look and she yielded.
We left the restaurant and walked around the streets of Kyoto behaving like two people in love. We held hands, we smiled, we kissed. It was most important to me that Emily understood how much I loved her. Walking around and catching up on the last five months, we finally stopped at a park bench, as we still needed to resolve a few unfinished issues.
“Emi?” I needed to close out Max from our lives. “What happened between you and Max?” I explained to her it was Max who encouraged me to pursue her, and that he was instrumental in helping us find each other. She looked happy to know he had helped.
“Let me tell you what got us into this whole mess,” she began. “When I turned down your proposal, I knew it was temporary. It was just a matter of time before I accepted your offer of marriage. My love for you was already there. I just couldn’t take that last leap of faith. Ultimately I couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t wake up one morning and stop loving me.”
Her lips deliberately found mine before I could voice an objection about her lack of faith in me. I happily accepted.
“As for Max, I knew the moment he proposed, he was not the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You were too deeply embedded into my heart. ‘No’ was the correct answer but I was too much in shock to say anything. And then I saw you running toward me, and I was terrified you might be mad. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. I hope you can understand these were words I desperately wanted to hear at one point in my life, and I didn’t know how to refuse Max but still keep our friendship. Max will always be like family to me, no matter what. Can you handle that?”
I nodded slowly but assuredly. Before I found Emily, I had promised myself that when we got back together again, I would not let my insecurities get in the way of our relationship. Finally, I could accept this man who cared for Emily till I found her. In many ways I needed to thank him for loving her and protecting her during some of her most difficult years.
After Max, we laughed over our disastrous reunion in New York.
“You know what hurt me the most in New York?” Emily asked me.
“That I asked you how stupid you could be for waiting for me at the Skywalk? I was such an idiot that day for saying all those things to you.”
She laughed wholeheartedly. “I’m glad you know. No, that’s not it. I was most hurt you chased after a ring rather than chasing after me. That’s the main reason I got in that cab.”
“Emily! Never in a million years did I think you would get in that cab. It was pure instinct that made me run down the block looking for the ring. It wasn’t an issue of importance. If I knew you were going to leave, I couldn’t have cared less what happened to the ring. How could you think I’d choose a ring over you?”
She did her cute shrugging of the shoulders.
“So I’m confused about something.” I wanted to know about her tenant. “You hadn’t left for Japan yet because I didn’t get your letter at the hospital till a week or so later. Where were you all that time?”
She explained she lived with Sarah then had a sudden fit of anxiety.
“Jake. What am I going to do?”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have a home to go back to. My tenant is staying in my house till the end of summer.”
“Fantastic!” I whooped. “Move in with me.
“Correction, move into my parents’ home with me. You can take up occupancy in the guest room, unless... you get scared on the third floor by yourself and want to sleep in my bed with me.”
“You’re incorrigible.” Her lips curled into a wanton smile.
Emily started calling friends and family to spread our news of reconciliation. She bothered Sarah and Charlie during their honeymoon, and I got a threat to my well-being from the newlyweds if I hurt Emily again. Then there was the call to Jane who also threatened to disown me as a brother if I screwed up again. Then Emily had to call Max. She thanked him, then handed the phone over to me, so I could do the same.
“Hey, Max.”
“I’m glad you found Em. I can only imagine how big her smile must be on that pretty face. Keep her happy.” Something in his voice didn’t sound right.
“I want to thank you for your sacrifice. Sarah told me why you let Emily go, and I don’t know if I could’ve been as selfless as you. Thanks to you I’ve found my happiness. I will do all I can to return the favor one day. You would be the kind of guy I’d be proud to see my sister date. Thank you again.”
“Take care of her. She’s a special girl.” He sounded sullen saying these last words. He was finally forced to let my Emily go, and I thanked him for this sacrifice as well.
Next Emily asked me to call my grandmother. Though they had only spoken once, there was a familial bond that had formed on Christmas night—not much different than the one Gram and I shared. I called as my love asked me to and handed the phone back to her. It sounded like the two of them shared love and tears, then Gram asked to speak with me.
“Jakey, are you going to propose to Emily in Japan?”
“Yes, Gram.”
“Why don’t you wait till Paris? Emily tells me you’re meeting her in Paris.”
“Yes, but why?” I tried to be as vague as possible so Emily wouldn’t catch on.
“I want to hand down my mother’s diamond to you two. You can get it reset while you’re in Paris, then propose to her. Stop by London before going to Paris. Can you do that?”
“Definitely, Gram. Thank you.”
Gram had one of the most incredible Asscher cut diamonds. It was handed down to her from her mother, and we all believed it would be handed down to my mother. Ecstatic she wanted us to have her most loved jewel, I would wait a few more weeks before sealing our future.
“What did Gram say?” Emily of course was curious.
“Not much,” I tried to sound nonchalant.
“When can I see her? Can we visit her after Paris?”
“That’s very possible.” I ended our Gram conversation, changing the topic to one I knew she’d be interested in. “Aren’t you hungry? I’m starving.”
“Wait, we have to call your parents and tell them I’m coming to stay with them. Are you sure they won’t mind me living at their house?”
I couldn’t believe how unsure she sounded. She still didn’t understand my entire family considered her a Reid already. To relieve her worries, we called Mom and Dad and, as expected, they welcomed her with open arms.
We sat ourselves on a plastic picnic-like table at a noodle truck parked nearby and ordered a late-night snack. With all misunderstandings figured out, I still had one last bone to pick with her.
“Emi?”
“Yes?” She had an enormous grin on her face.
“What’s the smile for?”
“I love hearing you call me Emi. This is something no one else calls me.”
I too smiled and continued. “Didn’t you say you were waiting for someone back at the restaurant? You made it sound like you were seeing someone already. What was that all about?”
Her sly grin came back. “Yes, I said I was waiting for someone, but I never said I was seeing anyone.”
“What does that mean?” Not being above ranting like a five-year-old, I needed a clearer answer. “Have you dated anyone since you got here? Have other men asked you out? If so,
how many?”
The only movement from her mouth was of her chewing her udon noodles. I grabbed my girlfriend and tickled her weak spots—which included about every part of her body. She started with a laugh and ended with a fit of coughing, as a noodle must have gone down the wrong pipe.
“All right! You play dirty,” she accused, but I didn’t care as long as I got my answers. “You, no, yes, and many,” she answered.
Who were you waiting for?—You
The first answer confused me till Emily explained she had been waiting for me since Christmas to come back for her.
Have you dated anyone?—No
I was definitely good with this answer.
Have other men asked you out?—Yes
How many—Many
Yikes. I had forgotten about her appeal to other men.
“What do you mean many men have asked you on dates? How many single men could live in that tiny village of yours? And why would they ask you out? Didn’t you tell them you were taken?”
“Why on earth would I tell them that? There’s no ring on my finger that says I’m taken. And, I didn’t stay in the village the whole time. I traveled throughout Japan. You’re not the only man to find me attractive.”
She was right about that. I wasn’t the only man who would love my Emily. I reached into my pocket for her eternity band. Emotion overwhelmed me at the thought of placing this ring on her. Perhaps I would propose to her now and propose to her again in Paris with Gram’s ring. Emily watched the ring come out of my pocket and her face lit up this dark night. She believed I was going to propose again. Oh, how I would disappoint her. I hated that thought.
Deliberately placing the ring on her fourth finger, I fought against myself and my promise to Gram, and I swallowed a proposal. All I could utter was, “I don’t ever want to see you take this ring off unless I replace it with another one, OK?”
Emi’s face fell from the heavens down to the pit of the earth. I could read her disappointment in clear English. I’m sorry, My Love. I’ll propose soon, I promise. Hating and yet somewhat enjoying her disappointment, I held back my pleasure.
“What’s wrong?” I questioned her so casually. “Were you expecting something else? Do you not like this ring?”
Very matter-of-factly, she voiced her opinion. “I love this ring.”
Arriving at the hotel, I walked up to the front desk to get a room. Emily, a little jittery, asked about my suitcase.
“They’re holding it for me here. I haven’t had a chance to check in yet,” I told her.
By the hue on her cheeks I could tell something good might be coming my way.
“Why don’t you have them bring your stuff up to my room?” She couldn’t look me in the eye, and I didn’t care. I grabbed her hand and bolted up to her room before she could change her mind.
My dream turned into a nightmare when I saw the double beds in her room. There was no way I was going to sleep two feet away from her. She had to make a concession.
“Love, I’ve been apart from you for too long to be satisfied sleeping in a bed next to yours.” Please, please, please, say yes.
She gave me a half smile and spoke slowly. “Would it satisfy you to sleep in a bed…” she paused while I prayed, “with me?”
“YES!” I cheered and picked up my girlfriend and plopped her on the bed.
She giggled in delight and I had her dress unzipped in a New York minute. Our kiss got quickly suspended as Emily laughed uncontrollably.
“What is so funny and why are you pulling away from me?” I begged for an answer.
“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry. It’s been so long I forgot you would connote sleeping in bed with me much differently than I denoted those words.” Her body came over to embrace me but I rolled over onto my back.
“You’ve got to be kidding me! Emily! What else would I think when you ask me to spend a night with you?”
“I’m sorry.” She pleaded with her body partly on mine and her lips showering my face. “The best night’s sleep I ever had was with you on Christmas night. Since then there hasn’t been one night where I’ve slept peacefully. That’s one of the reasons why I lost so much weight. I’ve been sick a lot since we separated, because I couldn’t get enough rest. Can I just sleep in your arms tonight?” she asked with caution.
What could I say to that? Through the course of the next few months I would most likely hear many more heart-wrenching stories about Emily’s trials. Securely holding her body to mine we relished a quiet moment.
“Emi, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” she answered pulling away slightly.
“When did your mom put in this crazy request about you saving yourself for your husband?”
“Oh gosh, a long time ago. She and Dad both had a talk with me sometime in junior high. Mortified that both of them were talking to me about boys and sex I agreed to everything they asked. I just wanted them, especially my dad, out of my room. Then, right before Mom died, she had me promise her again.” She crinkled up her nose and gave me a what-can-I-do look. “There was no turning back after that last promise.”
“So do you know if your mom practiced what she preached?”
Emily went into a guffaw. “I don’t think she did. She would never give me a straight answer.”
“How frustrating!” I answered half-jokingly and half-seriously.
“Jake, I’m sorry I frustrate you.” My love suddenly turned very serious. “But if forever is what you still want with me, then we will have a lifetime to be together. Would you be willing to wait a bit longer?” From cackles to tears between a few sentences, I lifted up her sullen face.
“Love, can we make a few promises to one another?”
Her tears dropped with every nod.
“I promise you that I will never walk out on you or give you the silent treatment no matter what the situation. We will talk through any problems we may have. Even if you don’t want to hear them, I will tell you about my feelings.”
“OK. I like that promise. What do you want me to promise?”
“I want you to promise me that you will never be afraid of me in any way. I don’t want you to fear hurting my feelings or fear losing me. That’s not going to happen ever again. I want you to completely trust me again even though it might be hard. It still kills me that I left you stranded in Arizona. Will you share with me what you were doing and thinking all those hours you waited?”
Were these answers I wanted to hear? Probably not, but I thought if I shared in her pain it could be cathartic for both of us. Our day at the Skywalk possibly traumatized me more than it did Emily.
“I will answer you if you will promise me this will be the last time we talk about the Grand Canyon. You can’t keep beating yourself up about what happened there. Can you let it go after tonight?”
“I’ll try…”
“Well, the first couple of hours I was busy walking back and forth looking for you. I believed you would come back. There were so many visitors I searched carefully, not wanting to miss you. Then the next several hours I sat in the middle of the Skywalk reliving what had happened that morning and wondering why I hadn’t turned Max down right away. First I got upset with myself for not being able to make a quick decision, then I got mad at you guys for hurting me so much.”
Now, I couldn’t look at her. I was ashamed at my behavior and angry for making Emily suffer through such misery.
“If you were there that long, why didn’t you call me? I believed you were with your friends. You know I would never abandon you, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Jake, I know you would never intentionally hurt me. I didn’t call initially because I knew you needed to cool down. Then I didn’t call because I was angry with you and Max. Eventually I didn’t call because I knew it was over between us and that you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. Then, sometime after, I sat in the middle of the Skywalk and fell asleep from emotional exhaustion. Only with the help of a kind park ranger was I able to ren
t a car. Afterward I went to go see my parents and then I came home. The rest you know.”
Hearing the story from Emily didn’t make it any better. In fact, I felt worse. Emily was smart to make me promise her to let go of this day. I laid back and couldn’t speak for a while.
“Jake.” Emily brought her face right up to mine and forced me to look at her. “You promised to let this go. Forget about this day, or I’m going to start feeling guilty about the fact that none of this would’ve happened if I had turned Max down from the onset. Do you want me to start wallowing in my guilt?”
“No…I don’t want you to put this on yourself. Let’s change the subject. Why did you come all the way up to the OR that day you were leaving for Japan but run away when you saw me? That was you I saw in the elevator, right?”
“You saw me?”
“I saw you about to cry in the elevator and I ran down the stairs to catch you but couldn’t. Why didn’t you stay?”
“Well, the chief spotted me downstairs in the lobby when I stopped by to drop off your letter, and he urged me to come up. Against my better judgment I followed him up like a sheep about to be slaughtered. When I saw you walking down the corridor, thoughts about our crazy meeting in New York sprang to mind, along with the fact that you hadn’t called me in three weeks. All that combined, I didn’t want my heart broken if you were to reject me again, so I got scared and ran…into an elevator.” She laughed. “If you would’ve caught me downstairs and asked me to stay, I would’ve dropped all my plans to have had one more chance with you. I guess that’s what I was secretly hoping for when I followed the chief up to the OR.”
“But why Japan? Why did you come here and so suddenly?”
“It’s actually not as spontaneous as you think. I applied for a teaching position before I met you. They happened to have an opening in January. Timing-wise it just worked out.”
“So all this time you wrote letters to everyone, but no one was able to write back to you? Did you make any friends here? It sounded like you traveled quite a bit in Japan.”
“Sarah had my contact info. If you would’ve found Sarah, you would’ve found me much earlier.”
