by DW Cee
Fair enough. I decided to let that one go. “Well, Donovan and I had a long talk and we finally understood that our ‘attraction’ was not really an ‘attraction,’ but more of a curiosity. At some point in our lives, we were attracted to each other, but that got replaced with the easy-going friendship that we have. We just needed to test it out and confirm that what we felt for each other was neither like nor love.” There! That was a great explanation.
“You’re evading the question. What is it that was done to test out these feelings?”
“We had brunch with Becky and Al, then we did a little shopping, and then we decided to go back to his hotel room,” I could see Max getting red, so I emphasized the last two words, “AND TALK.” The beet redness came down and he was back to his usual coloring.
“Go on.”
“Donovan wanted to know what had happened between you and me and I told him that you were correct when you accused me of contemplating going away with Donovan.”
“Fuck.” Max whispered in pain.
“I also explained to him that my wavering was no different to you than cheating, and on that, I agreed with you.”
I looked at Max, but he didn’t look back. He was in so much pain. I felt like a complete bitch for hurting this good man, AGAIN!
“Then, I told Donovan how I felt about him—or at least what I thought I felt about him. I explained that I believed I was attracted to him, and he, too, thought he was attracted to me. I also told him that I did think at times that a relationship with him would be easier, but never did I think a relationship with him would be better.”
Max just put his head in his hands.
“Donovan confessed that he regretted giving me the carte blanche tickets and that he was an asshole for telling me to cheat on you. He really regrets what he did.”
Max now looked at me and shook his head. I translated that to, you both are unbelievably fucking stupid. “So that’s it? You have this confession time and you’re both cured of your attraction to one another? How do I know you two won’t start up again?”
The way he said that was a little mean-spirited and calloused, but I let it go for the sake of our relationship.
“No.” I sighed. “There’s a bit more.”
“Of course there is. That would have been too damn easy.”
“We decided at that point to go out on a date.”
“Shit!”
“We went to see a matinee of The Book of Mormons, we had an early dinner, then we went shopping for the twins. Then...” Shit, here it was...the big confession.... “Then, we went back to Donovan’s room and we...kissed...”
“Dammit, Jane.” Max sounded like he was about to cry. “Why do you do this to me? Why the fuck did you need to kiss him, and why the fuck did you need to tell me this? Do you get some sick satisfaction in knowing that you’re the only one who can hurt me this badly? For the last month, I was tormented that we’d broken up, that I’d ended our relationship in such a shitty way, that I’d hurt you. During this time, I wondered how I could make things up to you, whether or not you’d want to get back together with me, how sad you must have been because I was such an asshole to you. Never did I think you were out dating another guy...”
Damn and double damn! “I’m not done with my story. And it’s not what you’re thinking,” I tried to do damage control. “We kissed once—and not even for that long. We broke it off immediately because we both came to the realization that it felt more like a brother and sister kissing, than a man and a woman kissing. It was actually the most disgusting kiss for the both of us.”
“So, because it didn’t work out for the both of you makes it all right to have kissed one another? All is good in this world since Jane and Donovan have figured out what they want?”
“Now wait a damn minute.” This man was starting to piss me off. I had a difficult enough time explaining myself, and in my mind, it all ended with everyone understanding each other. All’s well that ends well, no? “I’m trying to tell you that Donovan and I don’t like each other. We are friends—good friends. We probably haven’t liked each other in a very long time. It was probably a stupid curiosity we needed to get out of our system. It’s out. It’s done. You and I have no more issues.”
“Jane. If you believe that because you were able to satiate your curiosity, that everything turned out for the better, we have some serious fundamental differences that I don’t know if we can overcome. You kissed another man.”
I did my best to keep my voice even-tempered. “Yes, but you told me to go figure myself out. I did just that. And let me remind you, WE were broken up when I went on a measly date with Donovan. WE were no more because YOU decided WE didn’t suit. WE were no longer together so YOU can’t be upset with me. I only did what YOU told me to do.”
“If that’s your philosophy, then why the hell did you go batshit crazy on me when you thought Hannah was sleeping in my tent? So, it’s no big deal for YOU to go out on a date and kiss another man, but I can’t have someone sleeping in my tent?”
Damn freakin’ Max! “I thought you were fucking her, excuse my language.” I said in a most sarcastic way.
“You are so damn hypocritical. Why is it okay for you, but not for me?”
“Did you or did you not break up with me before you left for this trip?” He wouldn’t answer me. “We were NOT together, which means, we were free to do as we pleased. It pleased me to go out with Donovan—once—and it pleased me to kiss him—once. After that, I finally understood myself and what I wanted.”
“You still don’t get it, do you?”
What the hell didn’t I get? “Maybe it’s you who doesn’t get it!” I yelled. “I came here to make up with you. I came all the way here to say I’m sorry and that the Donovan issue was all cleared up. I want to have a relationship with you and no one else. I still love you. If you can’t understand that, then maybe we do have fundamental differences we can’t resolve.”
The asshole didn’t stop me from leaving his tent. I was never so grateful to see the driver still waiting. I’d go back to my hotel, catch a flight back home, and contemplate later if this was really it. This was supposed to be a time of reckoning and reconciling revisited—not reckoning and reconciling resisted! Damn. Why is life so complicated?
July 22, 2013 Movin’ On
“Well?” Donovan asked me at lunch. “What happened?”
I explained the entire story of what happened in Mexico, and how Max was back in LA, but living at his parents’ home with Hannah still there. “Josh says that Hannah is moving out this weekend, but I don’t know what the hell to think.”
“You know there’s nothing going on with Hannah. Max is hurting, and I don’t blame the guy. I tried to visit him at the hospital but he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“When did you do that?” Though we were at lunch, I had no appetite to eat anything. “Two days ago, I went to go see Jake and the Chief at the hospital and I asked Jake to page Max for me. Max came into Jake’s office for all of half a second, till he saw me, then he blew out of there. I tried to go apologize, but Jake stopped me.”
I sighed, heavily. “I get why he’s mad, but it pisses me off that he’s that mad. I mean, he and I weren’t together when you and I hooked up.” Donovan gave me a look that claimed innocence from any hooking up. “I know we didn’t really hook up. I mean...” Now, it was Donovan who was pissing me off. “You know what the hell I mean. Max was the one who told me to figure things out with you.”
“Jane. No man wants to hear that his girlfriend figured anything out with any other man.”
“But that’s just the thing—we were not boyfriend-girlfriend at the time.”
“Semantics, Ms. Reid.”
“Speaking of Ms. Reid, what are you going to do about Laney?”
“I was in London when you were in Mexico and no luck, again. I don’t know where she goes all the time. She’s never home.”
“Are you sure she’s just not answering the door?
”
Donovan sighed, heavily. “It could be. But, I don’t think she could avoid me that many times. I’ve sat on the steps waiting for her for hours.”
“Tell me something—you seriously contemplating dating her?”
“Jane, I don’t know heads from tails right now. Kissing you in Chicago is up there as one of the biggest fucking wake-up calls of my life. Never was I so wrong about my feelings about anything and anyone.”
“If I’m not your biggest and worst wake-up call, what is?”
“Watching Delaney and Brent walking into Ashley’s wedding reception, together.”
“Is that why you went all mute, deaf, and angry on us at the table? Becky and I thought it was weird how moody you became, out of nowhere. What happened that night?”
“Too long of a story to tell over lunch. I’ve got a conference call to jump into in about ten minutes. Let’s wrap it up and go back upstairs.”
The rest of the day went slowly. I dreaded going “home” as it wasn’t my home. I’d see Max this weekend at JR’s christening. Of course, Jake and Emily—with their sadistic sense of humor—named us the godparents of their newest little one. I hadn’t seen Max since he got into town and neither of us made any effort to reach out to one another. Feeling pretty low, I went to “our” new place and started packing up my stuff. It seemed as though our relationship was over. There was no need to pretend that things were going to go back to normal.
“Knock, knock.” Josh and Garret said and walked in. “What do you think you’re doing?” Garret asked.
“Packing. It’s ridiculous that your brother is living at home because I’ve taken up residence in his place. He did buy the place and he is still paying the mortgage.”
“Just give him a little more time. He misses you a lot, Jane. He’s a mess right now.” Josh revealed.
I stopped packing, briefly, then went right back to what I was doing. I tried hard not to believe half the stuff the Davis brothers were telling me. “Your brother knows where I stand. I went to reconcile, and he’s the one who kicked me out of his tent.”
“Jane...” Garret called out and dragged my name and my arm. “You two have to stop this.”
“Guys, I’m tired. I can’t keep hoping. I did wrong, I tried to make amends, but your brother isn’t willing to forgive and forget.”
I took out my phone and texted Max.
I will have my stuff moved out tonight.
There was no answer back, so I figured that’s what he wanted. Was it so wrong of me to hope Max would text back and tell me to stay? Was it so impossible for us to work this out? I was still willing to try for a relationship. I still loved Max. Did he still love me? I couldn’t answer.
Friday morning, Gimpy called me into his office and surprised me with a proposition I had never considered. This could change just about everything I thought was stable in my life.
“What’s going on in your life, Janey? Have you and Max called it quits?”
“I’m unsure, Gimpy. I don’t want to think that we’re over, but it may be the best way to describe our situation...” I really didn’t know how else to explain our status.
“How would you like to move back to the New York office and be in training to be a partner, and eventually move to our London office?”
Say what??? “Gimpy, This is only my third year as an associate. How can I be a partner, already?”
“Well, you knew you’d end up being a partner at this firm, someday. I need you on a faster track since I’d like to retire soon.”
“I don’t follow...”
“Estelle wants me to retire. I agree with her, but this firm is what’s stopping me. After my two partners died, I bought their shares of this firm from their families.”
“So you own this firm, outright?”
“Almost. There are a few senior partners who own a small percentage of the firm, but the majority of it is mine. And since I don’t have kids, when I pass away, this firm will eventually belong to you Reids—you and hopefully another male partner here, if he can get his head out of his arse and do the right thing, will share the majority of the firm.”
Whoa‼! What the hell??? “Back up, Gimpy.” I had to sit down. This was big news! “First of all, this male with his head up his arse—are you referring to Donovan?”
Gimpy nodded yes.
“How’d you know? And how long have you known?”
“It’s only obvious that Donovan and Laney are in love. Laney knows her true feelings. It’s up to Donovan to open his eyes and realize it. And he better wake up soon. Michael is a formidable rival, and a good chap all around.”
“So, you and Gram are assuming that Donovan and Laney will get married? And somewhere down the road, you will hand down this firm to us???”
“That’s the simplified version of it. Yes.” Hot Damn! “The way your Gram and I have it set up, each of the five sons will get a share of the company as well as sit on the Board of Directors, along with you, Donovan, if he marries Laney, and Jake. Since you and Donovan are the only two practicing lawyers right now, you both will get larger shares—since most of the work will fall upon you two.”
“And what happens if Donovan and Laney don’t get married?”
“Donovan will get a chance to buy into the firm. But David will step in if Donovan chooses not to exercise this option, since David is still technically a lawyer. He’ll start practicing, again.”
“That’s huge, Gimpy.”
“It is. But even if I were to retire today, you wouldn’t be made partner right away. You still need to work towards it. But, your road to equity partnership is cut by several years, out of necessity. That’s why I’d like for you to go back to New York, and eventually work in the London office, in my stead.”
“How long do I have to think about this?”
“Take your time. It’s not something you have to decide right away, but I wanted you to know what’s in store so you’ll start preparing for the inevitable.” I nodded my understanding and started to head back to my cubicle. “And Jane?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you are not to say any of this to anyone in the firm? Especially not a certain male partner with his head up his arse?”
I nodded my understanding once again.
Last night I moved from Max’s home back to my parents’ home. Soon, it looks like I’ll be moving back to my New York home, then off to Gram’s London home? That’s an awful lot of moving for someone who thought she’d live in that tiny little home with the extra shoe closet for years to come.
July 25, 2013 Paging Jerry McGuire
I was told that a christening was an act or an instance of naming something new. This happy occasion fell upon my newest nephew, Jonathan Robert Reid. Emily put Jake’s old christening gown on him and their home and backyard were set for the ceremony and lunch.
After my conversation with Gimpy the other day, I had so much on my mind, I bumped into Max without realizing what was happening.
“Jane.” He called me with more emotion than I cared to admit.
It killed me to see him. Max looked like hell. His suit was way big on him because he’d lost so much weight in Mexico, and he honestly looked worse than when I saw him a week ago. At least another five-ten pounds came off this man. His face was gaunt, his eyes too big, and his once beautifully chiseled face was now angular and sharp. Good to know this breakup was hard on him as well. Or, it could’ve just been the hardships of Mexico and the whole team looked as hellish as he did.
