Indelible Love Series + Entwined Bundle

by DW Cee

  While writing from Jane’s point of view, many times my characters would jump in and tell me their side of the story. The following blogs are just that—everyone else’s point of views. Rather than confusing the reader and adding these blogs to the storyline, I put them in the end as extras.

  Hope you enjoyed Max and Jane’s world. They, along with the rest of the Reids will of course make guest appearances in the next novel, Unlikely Attraction. See you soon in Donovan and Laney’s world.

  (Max) April 20, 2013 Between a Rock and a Hard Place

  Shit! How was I going to explain this one to Jane? As it is, she’s not crazy about Hannah. How do I tell her what just transpired with this phone call? And damn Hannah! Why did she need to ask today of all days? I would’ve taken her some other time, of course with Jane’s approval. Hell. This was either going to be one ugly day, or it’ll work out better than I hope, with Jane accepting Hannah as a friend who needs some help.

  “Why can’t she just ride the bus and find a place of her own?” My girlfriend whined in a cute way.

  “Gem, you know there’s really no such thing as public transportation in Los Angeles. She wouldn’t know what buses to take; she’d have to switch buses at least ten times. I know this isn’t ideal, but think of her as a friend who needs help. We’d be willing to take any other friend along, if s/he needed help.”

  “Well, no other friend has the special moniker that Hannah holds.”

  Would I always have to live this down with Jane as well? Since I got Hannah pregnant, my parents have constantly reminded me of what a screw-up I’ve been to “knock-up a girl in high school.” Once I got away from my parents, I thought my days of reliving that nightmare were over. I hated being reminded of my carelessness in high school.

  “Never mind, Jane. I’ll take Hannah another time. You’re right. This is our day, we are starting our future together and we shouldn’t have anyone interrupting this special day.” What was I thinking, asking my girlfriend if Hannah could come along? Why would I want this headache? And after Jane’s reminder about my mistake with Hannah, seeing the two of them together would only perpetuate Jane’s negative view of me. I could be such a damn idiot at times.

  “There’s no way in Satan’s lair that I’d allow you to spend ANY alone time with Hannah. You did enough of that in high school. Just bring her along,” Jane said reluctantly.

  “I’m on my way to pick up Hannah, and then I’ll come pick you up.”

  “The three of us riding on your bike together? Who gets to spoon you?” Always ready with a witty retort.

  “Ha ha ha. Very funny. If you don’t lose the bad attitude, you may have to ride in the backseat while Hannah gets shotgun.” I answered with my own sarcasm. This was going to be a shitty day!

  “Hi Max.” Hannah came out with my mom.

  “Hey, Hannah. Hi Mom,” I answered uncomfortably.

  “Hello, Max. How are you?”

  “Okay.” I hated being so formal with my own mother. You’d think that by now, at age twenty-six, I’d have gotten used to the coldness. I guess being around the Reids only accentuated my mother’s sterile attitude towards me. “And you and Dad are well?”

  I hadn’t seen my parents since that last disastrous dinner with Jane, and I was embarrassed and scared to have any contact with them. It was one thing to have your parents disappointed in you, but it was wholly another crazy world to have your own parents try and sabotage your future. I didn’t need Jane seeing any more of the ugly Davis drama.

  “We are doing well. Your father and I were hoping you’d stop by. Did you get my messages?”

  “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with school.”

  “We understand.” Mom’s usual harsh tone cracked a bit. “Your dad and I would like to talk to you one day soon? Could you give us a few minutes of your time?”

  “Um, sure. I’ll check my schedule and get back to you.”

  I was scared shitless to meet with my parents, alone, without my brothers as a buffer. But there was that small part of me that hoped maybe Mom and Dad would finally want to be...my Mom and Dad. Damn! It was too early for this kind of shit. I sounded like a maudlin teenage girl. Has this day only just begun?

  “Thanks for allowing me to tag along. I tried to find a place through the internet, but it was so difficult to check any of them out without a car.”

  “No worries, Hannah. I know it’s been difficult for you to readjust back to life in Southern California. Is everything going well?”

  “I think so. The accounting job at the hospital is great. All the other employees are friendly, and it’s a bonus to see you and your brothers from time to time. You remember in high school when we used to...”

  I decided to cut this kind of conversation off before it started. “Hannah. I know we had some great times in high school, and I’m sorry I was an asshole to you in the end, but that’s not a time I like to revisit.” Aw, shit! Why do women cry so readily? “I’m sorry, Hannah. Those days are a distant memory for me, and I hope you’ll be understanding enough not to bring it up again, especially in front of Jane. I hate the reminder of what a screw-up I was.”

  “So that’s what I was to you? A ‘screw-up’?” I seriously felt like Job from the Bible and wanted to rip my clothes off and run in the middle of the street and ask God, “Why me???” “I can’t believe after loving each other that much, you’d think of me as a ‘screw-up’.”

  “Hannah.” Pause. Pause. Pause. I needed to take a chill-pill and stop all this fucking drama at nine A.M.! “We were in high school. We...no, let me say, I should have known better than to start something I couldn’t finish. Getting you pregnant was stupid.”

  The tears. The fucking tears! I need to rewind this day and start all over with Hannah NOT in the picture.

  “Look. I’m sorry if that was harsh, but we were too young to get so seriously involved. Think about your own kids. Would you like them being sexually active and having your daughter pregnant at such a young age?” The tears only got worse. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and what we did was just wrong. I don’t want my kids making the same mistake.”

  “Sure, now that you have Jane in your life, you can think about a future and having kids. I don’t have that same luxury. I’ve never gotten over what I went through in high school. You were the love of my life, and I thought you would take me away from my parents and we’d create a life together with our baby. But instead, I lost the baby, you turned on me, and I’ve been miserable ever since.”

  Fuck. There was no reason for this, but I guess we needed to hash this out once and for all. It did seem a little odd that Hannah was so reasonable and reassuring after the dinner fiasco. It was almost a dream that she was so forgiving of what I did to her back in high school. It was time to get it all out in the open and to let her know that there was no more us.

  I pulled the car over. “I have no excuses for the way I treated you after you lost the baby—absolutely none. You can call me every name in the book and I couldn’t, wouldn’t fight back. But Hannah...it’s over. This has been over for ten years. You need to move on.”

  “You killed a part of me when you turned away from me. Then you killed the rest of me when you dated Emily.” How the hell did she know about Em? “And now, I feel my heart being beaten to death all over again when I see the love in your eyes for Jane. You’ve never looked at me like that. You have so much love for her...I just can’t stand it.”

  Hannah started bawling, but I couldn’t do much more than pat her on the back and repeatedly tell her how sorry I was for everything. No matter how hard she cried, there was no woman I wanted in my arms, other than my girlfriend.

  “I love Jane, and she’s who I see in my future.” I started the car again. “I hope you’ll find someone who’ll bring you that same kind of happiness, as Jane brings me. I think when you find that person, you’ll understand that what we had wasn’t it.”

  With that, I sped to Gem’s house and gre
eted my love with a heavier kiss than I should have, considering Hannah was probably watching. I wasn’t trying to gloat. It was just me realizing how special Jane was to me and how lucky I was to be in her life. I had one too many shortcomings for Jane to be content with me, and yet we loved each other and were starting a future together. Life was good with this Gem.

  We walked hand in hand, and I could feel Jane’s grip getting tighter and tenser, the closer we got to the car. I didn’t understand it at first, but soon realized my asinine comment about Jane sitting in the back of the car coming to fruition. This was like a self-fulfilled prophecy. Truly, I was a fucking moron for allowing Hannah to join us.

  I thought about asking Hannah to move back. But after what I’d truthfully and somewhat callously said to her not five minutes ago, I thought I’d let things be and pleaded with Jane to be the bigger person. I knew I was not wrong in thinking that Jane would stick by me and always be on my side.

  Being the bigger person didn’t last long for my girlfriend. Hannah pulled all kinds of crap out of her very short sleeves, and it was actually cute watching Jane hold back. I kept staring at her from the rear-view mirror and at first, she was amused with my flirting eyes. Soon, I saw her button nose wrinkle a few times when Hannah nixed Jane’s apartment choices, then I saw the forehead crease, and I knew we were in trouble. What the hell would possess a Mormon man to have more than one wife? I could hardly handle the one girlfriend I had.

  “Remind me to be extra nice to you for being so patient during this time of discomfort.” I kidded.

  “How will you relieve my discomfort?”

  “I have my ways. An ace never reveals his secrets.”

  “You better be an ace tonight in bed, because you’re ex is giving me a serious headache.”

  “I have a definite cure for that headache.” With a quick kiss to her lips, we went in.

  This apartment hunting was a mixed-up (Jane) version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The first apartment was too small. The next one was too cold. But the last one—the penthouse apartment—was just right. The penthouse wasn’t for rent, and there was no way I could ever afford anything this extravagant. Jane’s eyes perused every inch of this place, and I could tell this was where she wanted to live.

  “Jane, you know this place is not for rent. I thought we talked about getting a place together.” I reminded her. That didn’t faze her. She looked with the intent to buy and that’s when it all went to hell.

  “I don’t have the finances to buy a place, and even if I did have the money, I have no desire to buy anything right now.” Jane looked at me like I’d slapped her in the face. What I meant as a statement of fact, since my life and future as a medical student were so unstable, turned me into the biggest asshat on the face of this universe. She had no idea how desperately I wanted to live with her and show her that we were meant to be together, always. It bugged me that her eyes still wandered.

  Well, when I said earlier that it all went to “Satan’s lair,” that was an understatement for what happened at the club. We shouldn’t have gone to the club. I should’ve dropped off Hannah, then explained myself to Jane, but I needed a break from all the shit going on in my head. I needed people around us, I needed time away from both girls, and I thought being with the Reid family would help.

  “What’s the matter?” Nick asked.

  “Don’t ever get into a relationship,” I answered.

  “Dude. You’re preaching to the choir. I know! Women are trouble.” He answered back with an evil grin.

  “You okay?” Josh and Garret sat next to me and after a quick perusal of my demeanor, they understood enough to occupy Hannah at another table.

  “How’d the apartment search go, Davis? You and Jane find anything?” I had nothing to say to Jake but stared at Jane and Donovan’s friendship / relationship. “Don’t let that bother you, Davis. They’re two people who have been friends a long time and will continue to be good friends in the future.”

  “Would I sound like a chick if I told you how insecure I get whenever I see those good friends, together?”

  Jake laughed at me and laughed hard. “Yeah, you sound like a complete woman. But,” Jake got serious, “I understand your pain, because you did the same damn thing to me when I was dating my wife. I was very close to locking her up in that house of hers so she’d see no one but me. The hair on my back stood straight every time your name was mentioned.”

  “Jane and I went apartment hunting with Hannah tagging along.”

  Jake practically fell out of his chair, laughing. “Are you a fucking idiot?”

  “I’d say allowing Hannah to join us today was about as ‘fucking idiotic’ as leaving my girlfriend behind in Arizona.” I shot back.

  “Low blow, Davis. You know I still haven’t recovered from that mistake. God, when I think about what Emily must have...”

  “Also...!” I cut him off before he recanted that whole damn story again. “I didn’t mean to, but I think Jane believes I told her I didn’t see a future for us.”

  “You are a fucking moron.” Jake laughed again. “What are you going to do to make this all up to my sister? She can hold a mean grudge.”

  “Tell me about it. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do.” I sighed. “I truly don’t know how this day went from hope to complete despair.” I stared at the two laughing carefree and making all kinds of hand gestures at one another. “Whenever I see her with him, I lose courage and hope.”

  “Max.” Jake got really serious now. “I tell you the truth when I say that they are only friends. Go to Jane. She wants you, not Donovan.”

  Even with Jake’s pep talk, I suddenly felt hopeless. As soon as I saw Jane and Donovan when I walked into the club—something ugly happened to me. Recognizing the seamless yin and yang of their relationship, I wondered if I was holding on to a woman who really shouldn’t be with me. Was a relationship this hard for everyone? Did everyone have this many misunderstandings and difficulties? What was wrong with me that I had so many insecurities about myself? Why couldn’t it be enough that two people loved each other?

  Sunday wasn’t any better.

  “Max! What a nice surprise.” Emily answered the door with a warm greeting and a sweet hug. This was a woman who always oozed tranquility. “You here looking for Jane?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Jake tells me you and she got into another misunderstanding?” I nodded yes. “You want to have a slice of cake with me? I have your favorite.” I nodded again.

  “Do you think I’m not the right guy for Jane?”

  Emily looked at me mid-bite. “Why would you ask that crazy question? Of course you two are right for each other.”

  “I don’t know, Em. The closer Jane and I get, the further apart our misunderstandings become. It shouldn’t be that way, should it? If two people love each other, shouldn’t life get easier with one another? I don’t think Jane and I have that same fluency that she has with Donovan.”

  “Don’t, Max. You’re always too hard on yourself. You’ve always worked so hard to create the ideal relationship and when it’s not perfect in your eyes, you blame yourself. Nobody’s relationship is perfect and you really have to stop looking at your life through your parents’ eyes. You’ve done well for yourself. You’re a wonderful boyfriend to Jane, and you were just as wonderful to me. I always hated seeing you so troubled. Your parents aren’t judging you anymore. They’re proud of all you’ve accomplished.”

  “Thanks, Em. Something got turned on in my head yesterday when I saw Jane with Donovan. I wondered if I should let her go...” I couldn’t continue as those same doubts I once had about me and Emily swirled in my head again. “You know...just like I let you go. It worked out well for you...maybe I’m being selfish holding on to her...”