by DW Cee
My mom laughed. “Yeah, Dani. Your daddy and I never shared any love with you. You were left to fend for yourself.”
“I got undivided attention only when Mom wasn’t around.”
“That’s not true. Your daddy adored you!”
“Well, he adored you more,” I added trying to sound bitter though I wasn’t bitter at all. I liked that my parents loved each other so much. I knew they loved me as well. I had no problem with this. I was just trying to give Mom a hard time.
“Well… he knew me longer.” She answered with a wink and a cute smile. My mother was most beautiful when she smiled. I looked over at Jamie and he seemed a bit taken in with her smile as well.
“Wow, you are both lucky ladies to have had a man like Paul in your lives. I don’t think my girlfriend thinks that highly of me.”
“Tell us about your girlfriend, Jamie,” Mom inquired.
“She’s my age and eager to get married.”
“Oh, are you engaged?” Mom was way too excited for him. Though this guy was technically too old for me, I had this grand illusion that maybe I could date him when I got to college. I didn’t think Mom would approve.
“No. Melinda wants to get married but I don’t know that I want to just yet.”
“What’s holding you back?” Mom kept the conversation going while I tried to finish my homework. “You said you’ve dated for three years? Isn’t that long enough to know whether or not she’s the one you want to be with the rest of your life?”
“It should be but I’m still not sure. I don’t feel that soul mate kind of connection with her. When did you know you’d love Paul the rest of your life?”
“The moment I saw him on the road, I knew I was smitten. But on our first date, there was this assurance, this feeling of… perfection. I knew I would marry him. What I didn’t know was that he was thinking the same thing and that he would come around and ask me to marry him a week later.”
“That’s really romantic and almost a perfect love story.”
“Yeah, it would have been perfect if we had grown old together but I figure I’ll be with him up in heaven when I die.”
“What if Daddy finds another woman up in heaven?” Mom shot me a dirty look.
“Perhaps you’ll find another man first down here on earth.” Mom and I both looked at him like he was crazy.
“There’s no way my mom will date again.” I added with assurance.
“I don’t know Dani. You’re mom is young, extremely beautiful, and you’ll be off to college in a few months. Who will keep her company?”
“My grandmother.”
“Dani wants me to stay an old spinster.” Mom chuckled but never agreed with my statement that she would stay single. There was no way she would betray my father and his unbelievable love for her and remarry.
At the baseball stadium, Mom and Jamie were engrossed in another conversation about life and love and he looked way too interested in her.
“How’s my favorite goddaughter?”
“Uncle George!” I hugged him. “I thought you were chained to the house.”
“Meghan granted my parole after we put the kids down.”
Mom got up to kiss Uncle George.
“Jamie. What are you doing here?”
“I invited him,” I declared. “Jamie likes baseball so I thought he could use Dad’s ticket.”
“Good to see you. Were you able to help Olivia?”
“Yeah. Paul kept meticulous records of everything. I was done right away.”
“George? Do you think I could ask Jamie to come over one more time to teach me how to use whatever program Paul had created for our finances? Would you mind, Jamie?”
“Of course not,” Jamie answered. “After inviting me to the opening game of the season, I’d be happy to do it for you. Are you free tomorrow? I’ll stop by after work.”
I was thrilled he was stopping by again.
“Great. I’ll have dinner ready if you can stay.” Weird, but my mom blushed after asking him this question.
“I’d love that.” Jamie looked to be blushing as well. Maybe I was seeing things. Mom went back to her story about how she and Dad got married and it annoyed me that I was watching the game but also trying to listen to the story.
OLIVIA 1987
“Okay, okay.” Paul did his best to comfort me. “Let me hold you a little longer then I’ll take you home. I’m sorry I scared you.” He kissed me all over my face and head. I still felt terrible that I had made such a rash decision and that Paul felt so badly. It pained me to see him so scared for me. “Olivia?”
I looked up at him.
“Are you alright? Can I take you home?”
Silently I nodded my head yes.
“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’ll respect your wishes and wait for you.”
After another round of hugs and kisses he got back to the driver’s seat and headed home.
“Olivia?” Seated in a laying position, I turned my body to look at him. Still, I lay silent. “Do you feel better?” I nodded yes, again. “Are you not speaking to me anymore? Are you mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad but I am sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I was crazy to think that you would feel as strongly about me as I do about you within one date. Can we just talk?”
“Okay.” I felt embarrassed for making such a commotion at the gas station and for doubting Paul’s intentions. Doubt and insecurity surfaced from nowhere and I was mad at myself for not trusting Paul. Regardless of what I had said to Paul just a few minutes ago, I still loved him and wanted to be with him.
“You asked me a lot of questions right before I got off the freeway and I wanted to tell you a little bit more about myself. Maybe that will help you feel comfortable with me.” Paul, I’ve never felt more comfortable with any man than I do with you. “I’m twenty-nine and I was born on February 7, 1958. My mom and dad were and still are both doctors. Mike and I were born and raised in Southern California.”
My eyes and mind dozed in and out of consciousness as I heard Paul give his testimonial.
“In junior high, rebellion became a part of my daily act and I tried everything under the sun to annoy my parents.”
I was tired but Paul wouldn’t stop talking and I couldn’t stop listening.
“I finally went away to college and figured out that my parents were great people but were just old.”
How much longer would he go on? I supposed this was his way of making sure I knew every aspect of him.
“And then the most recent girlfriend was Alice…”
I needed to pay attention to this one but I was fading…
“Sorry to wake you, Mrs. Maize. We’re back. Olivia couldn’t go through with it.” Paul was whispering to Mom but I forced myself to listen hard.
“I had a feeling you both might be back tonight. What happened?”
“She had a panic attack half way to Vegas and after I calmed her down, she fell asleep in the car.” It felt nice to be in Paul’s arms. He should have been tired from carrying me from the car, up the stairs and onto my bed. And yet, he still held me in his arms. I rested more on his body than on my bed.
“I should have warned you before you left. I’m sorry. It was a little hard to do with all the women there last night.”
“Warned me?”
“Olivia has these panic attacks from time to time when she gets scared. She used to have them a lot when she was little and even as an adult, they creep back up.”
“What causes these attacks?”
“Her father left us when Olivia was seven and she was devastated. Olivia and her dad had a wonderful relationship until he left me for another woman and soon started a family with her. After their child was born, he cut off all ties with Olivia. This crushed her. She tried calling, she tried visiting but he wouldn’t give her much attention.”
Paul noticed that I was awake and crying and he curled me into his body even tighter to
hide my sadness from my mother. Those were painful memories to recall.
“She eventually gave up and soon had these panic attacks every time something frightened her. In order to keep her from being scared, I showered her with more attention than necessary and let her have everything she wanted. Thus, you hold in your arms a spoiled, childish twenty-two year old. I hope you’ll understand I too was frightened whenever she buckled to fear. As a mother, I needed her safe under any circumstance.”
“I understand Mrs. Maize and thank you for telling me this story. I don’t find Olivia to be childish – a bit spoiled yes – but deep inside she matured beautifully and that’s all thanks to you. I plan on spoiling her even more after we get married. We’ll just push off this wedding a bit longer. I will wait.” He kissed my head and whispered, “I’ll wait for you.” He knew I was listening.
“Do you want to stay the night? I can get the guest room ready for you.” Mom asked him.
“Don’t bother, Mrs. Maize. I’ll go home tonight and be back later this morning.”
I heard Mom step out of my room.
“Good night.” He said with one more kiss to the top of my head. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whispered back. “Thank you.”
After a sleepless night I called Paul first thing in the morning. The thoughtful thing to do would have been to let him sleep in and then call to say what was on my mind. But, being the selfish person that I was, I needed to get this off my chest and move on with our lives.
“Hello?” I did wake him up.
“Hi Paul.” I responded meekly. “I’m sorry to wake you. I know it’s early but I wanted to talk to you.”
“Hi Olivia.” He tried to sound perky. “Did you sleep well after I left?”
“No. I didn’t sleep at all last night.”
“What did you do all night? You must be tired.”
“I couldn’t sleep after you left so I stayed up part of the night thinking about my dad and crying, then I woke up Mom and talked to her the rest of the night.”
“Olivia.” He sounded sad for me. “You should have called me. I would have come back and stayed with you.”
“I’m very sorry about last night. The truth is…”
“Uh-huh.”
“Um… can you meet me somewhere at eleven today? I’ll tell you everything when I see you.”
“Okay. Do you want me to come pick you up?”
“No. Just meet me there and wear something nice.”
“Alright.”
Part one of my plan was done. Next, I needed to get dressed, look nice, take care of the flowers and have Mom call our pastor. Time sped by and Mom and I drove to the church just in time. I saw Paul driving up right behind us.
I ran and jumped into his arms.
“Well, this is a nice surprise after getting rejected last night.”
“Do you still want to marry me?”
“Of course I do.” Still in his arms, our lips locked a few more times.
“Ok. Let’s get married. Our pastor and my Mom are waiting inside the church. I want to get married in a church with Mom as our witness.”
“Are you sure? I can wait. We don’t have to do this today.”
“I want to do it today. I want to marry you.”
His face looked pleased but it also seemed uncertain about my stability. He had every right to doubt it. I was as unstable as girls came.
“I promise. I want to do this and I’ll try to be a good wife.” I giggled.
“Okay. Whatever you like, princess.” He picked me up and carried me into church.
The wedding march began simultaneously as we walked in the door. Mom stood up from the first pew as we marched down the aisle. Our pastor began his message on marriage and love and my heart danced around with excitement at our future together. Our pastor looked to me as the vows were about to begin.
“Paul. I want to say my own vows to you rather than repeating after Pastor John. I want to tell you that I, Olivia Jeannie Maize take you, Paul Henry Kingston to be my husband – my eternal partner – loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly await the chance to get to know you and fall even deeper in love with you. I will do my best to be a good wife and mother to our kids and I promise to love you forever.”
“I Paul, take you Olivia, as my wife, my friend, my lover, and the mother of my children. I promise to love, cherish, respect, and protect you and our family. I will take care of you no matter your past and love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives. In the presence of God and our witness, I give you my heart for as long as we both shall live.”
“Not bad for an impromptu vow,” I whispered.
He winked back at me with a smile.
The pastor finally got to the good part and allowed us to kiss. We marched down the aisle and ended our quick but heartfelt ceremony.
“Where to now, Mrs. Kingston?”
“Let’s go home.”
“Your home?” Paul slurred his words trying to decipher the meaning of my simple statement.
“No, silly! Our home.”
Mom came over to us after saying goodbye to the pastor.
“Mom, do you want to go have lunch with us?” I asked.
“No. I think I’ll finally go home and clean out your room. I’ve always wanted a sewing room.” She had a weird smile.
“Mom! You can’t change my room. Where will I sleep when I come over?”
“Why would you sleep at my house when you have your own house? Please, Paul! Take her from me. I’ve waited a long time to find my freedom. She’s all yours.” Mom said laughing her way to the car. “Oh wait, here’s her stuff for now.” She rolled my suitcase over to me. “Come back soon for the rest of the stuff.”
“Mom!” I whined but she didn’t look back.
Paul laughed at me just like Mom.
“Let’s go, Mrs. Kingston.” He pulled me towards his car. “So… what brought on the change of heart?”
“Well, after thinking through what happened with my dad, I realized the main reason I couldn’t get married to you last night wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but because I was afraid to leave my mom. I was also afraid to leave her alone for the first time in fifteen years.”
Paul brought me close to him in the car.
“Do you know my mom never dated anyone again since my dad left? She was always so worried about my well-being, she sacrificed her own happiness. I knew that me leaving would be good for her, but on the other hand, I was afraid for her and for me. We haven’t been separated since Dad left.”
“So, what made you feel okay about leaving her today?”
“I talked to her this morning and made sure she was okay with me leaving and I wanted to get her blessing one more time. I knew I loved you – as short as this relationship has been – but I needed my wise mother to tell me I was doing the right thing.”
“I assume she approved of me?”
“Yes. She said you that you were exactly what I needed.”
Paul kissed my forehead and started heading home.
“Paul… you know I can be a bit needy at times.”
“Uh-huh.” He tried to hold back a guffaw -though not in any subtle manner.
“And, I can be a bit childish and bull-headed also…”
“Only a bit?”
“And I might be little messy, plus I can’t really cook.”
My husband’s laughter only got louder.
“Princess, no need to confess. It’s written all over your face.”
Back at home – my new home – I got settled and adjusted to married life. The first month, I woke up at least once in the middle of the night wondering where I was and only when Paul woke up with me and pulled me into his comforting arms did I realize I was no longer living as my mom’s daughter, but as Paul’s wife.
My husband was more indulgent than I imagined him to be. He was correct in calling me princess. Life with him was like living as a fairy princess
– a spoiled rotten and incredibly loved princess. He’d wake up early and did practically everything for me but brush my teeth and wash my face. Even now, three months later, this attention never got old.
“Paul, my mom says you’re spoiling me too much. She told me it’s not good for me and that I’ve gained weight because I sit around while you do all the work. Do you think she’s right?” I asked during breakfast. I was still in my pajamas hanging out with the love of my life until he had to leave for work and I had to get back to my translation.
“I think I’ll keep spoiling you despite what Mom says. Plus, you look just as beautiful as the day we met.”
“What do you have planned for today?”
“I’m almost done translating the magazine articles and I need to go into the office to show my face. I haven’t been there since right after we got married. You want to meet for lunch?”
“George was going to introduce me to his new girlfriend. Why don’t you join us?”
“Okay. I’ll miss you.” I got up to walk him to the door.
“I’ll miss you too. I’ll see you at lunch?” Paul pulled in for a kiss goodbye.
“I’ll try to time it that way but no promises. Bye.” I kissed him back. “Don’t wave to any strangers on the road.”
“I’ll try not to,” he chuckled.
After showering and getting dressed for the day, I ran to answer a phone call.
“Sheila. What a nice surprise. Isn’t this your crazy time of the day?”
“It was. The kids are off to school with Mike today so I have a few minutes until I go to work.”
“How are the kids? I miss them. I wish we lived closer to one another. I had so much fun last weekend when we went up to visit you.”
“The kids are going through their honeymoon stage with Auntie Olivia. They’ve asked everyday when they’ll see you again. That’s actually why I’m calling. Mike was able to get a few extra days off so we thought we’d come down on Thursday before the reception. Can we come stay with you and Paul?”
“Sheila! Of course you can. This is your house too. I’m so happy I’ll see you and the family for a few extra days. Do you think Mom and Dad can make it to our reception?”
