by A Lonergan
I rolled my eyes. “I think I need to see my future home. I know it had a lot of work that needed to be finished on it before everything happened. Maybe it’ll help me keep my mind off of what happened.”
Guilt flashed across Tracey’s face. “I have a confession.”
Panic bloomed inside of my chest. What was she going to confess? “Yes?”
“I used your cottage to get myself out of the depressed state I was in. I used it to keep my mind off of the guilt I was feeling and the intense heartache. I didn’t know what else to do.”
A new emotion took over my body. I wrapped my arms around her middle. “How does it look?” Tracey was the only one that knew exactly what I wanted to do the place. If it had been anyone else, I would have been nervous.
“Wanna see it?” Tracey asked just as Rafe stepped out from the manor. He crossed his feet over each other and leaned against the massive beam on the porch. His eyes bore into me with a new intensity.
I nodded my head at my friend as I watched the man ahead of me. His expression was neutral and too hard to read. But when Ford walked out, I had a feeling I knew a little more about the Alpha-hole. Ford’s expression was satisfied but also relieved to see me. He mirrored his brother’s stance on the porch and for a moment I wondered what Rafe would be like with a family. Would a family change him and the wolf inside of him?
I was so caught up in my thoughts about the Alpha that I didn’t hear whatever Tracey was rambling on about. I came back to reality and smiled at my friend but I didn’t miss Ford elbowing Rafe in the side out the corner of my eye. I pressed my lips together to fight a grin as Tracey led the way to her masterpiece. The front of the cottage had been painted all white but the trim on everything was a matte black. It even had black gutters. The front porch light had been left on and the white curtains in the front window were open.
Tears pricked my eyes as she unlocked the front door. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Under the front window was a cute window box with white fake flowers. I rubbed my hands down my arms as I watched more snow touch down on the ground.
The first thing that caught my eye was the broken couch in the living room. I snickered. “What happened?”
The smile Tracey had been sporting fell away. “Mav and his fat ass. He thought it would be a great idea to take a running dive on a couch that has smaller legs than his arms.” She huffed before she said sarcastically, “Makes complete sense to me.”
Leave it to Mav to break the first thing in my home. As we walked down the hall, my wolf senses started to come back to me. Rafe’s scent was everywhere. It coated everything. I could hardly focus on what Tracey had done to my space with the smell of him swirling around my head.
We stopped at my bedroom door where it was the strongest. “Did Rafe stay here?”
Tracey bit her bottom lip. “Yes.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“He was in the process of remodeling his own home and didn’t have any other place to stay. The witch kids have kind of taken over the manor at the moment.”
I nodded my head. That made sense. Kind of.
Everything about my home was perfect except the missing master bath but Tracey had told me she already had blueprints drawn up for one to be added on. She wasn’t allowed to continue with construction because they needed her to do other things around the pack. She had used my renovation as a crutch and the pack wasn’t allowing her to do that anymore. Which was fine, because I was really itching to do something myself. It was all a dream come true but having a project to keep me busy would be a good thing. It would also be a place for my family to come and visit me, I hoped.
Rafe was sitting at the head of the table when we entered the manor. His back was straight and he was speaking low into a cellphone.
We sat down across from him and food was immediately placed in front of us. I didn’t recognize the woman but Tracey smiled at her warmly so I imagined that was a good thing. Lucas was still missing but I was glad for the spare bedroom because I would be offering it to him if he didn’t tell everyone who he really was. Rafe put his phone down before he popped a French fry into his mouth.
“Contractors have been called, just say the word, whenever you’re ready, and they’ll be here in a flash.”
My mouth dropped open and Tracey snickered. “Who are you?”
“Excuse me?” Rafe put down his fry.
“You’re not being an asshole.”
There was a gasp from the kitchen. The corners of Rafe’s lips twitched. “You have been through a lot, it’s the least I can do.”
“You’re also his ma-” Someone said from the kitchen but before she could finish her sentence there was a loud crash followed by an even louder curse.
I looked over my shoulder but whoever had made the comment was gone. “What was she saying?”
Rafe licked his bottom lip slowly. I tried my hardest to not follow the movement, but it was rather impossible. I felt like I was in the desert and he was a tall drink of water. Water I had been missing all of my life. I blinked myself out of the daze. “There are a few things we need to discuss now that you’re back. Somewhat big news.”
I shook my head as I noticed Lucas out the corner of my eye. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait. I have a feeling something bigger is coming.”
Rafe pressed his lips together and Tracey shook her head like she couldn’t believe what I was saying. I was sure there was nothing bigger than the stranger wolf identifying himself.
Chapter 56
Jade
The reflection in the mirror staring back at me didn’t look like myself. The scar on my stomach was very jagged and visible but at least it had healed all the way. The scars on my arms and legs weren’t as bad. Granny was hopeful they would fade with time but she didn’t make a comment about the one on my stomach doing so. She simply sighed as she left Rafe’s home. Rafe’s home that I was still staying in but I couldn’t figure out why. I had my own home I could go back to, I didn’t understand why I was being holed up here.
The snow continued to come down in a thick blanket outside. I shivered as I watched it float to the ground in thick fluffs. Nalia still wasn’t back in my head and I wondered if she would be back anytime soon. I missed her. I missed my other half.
Rafe said I was welcome to anything in the house. I was dressed in clothes from Tracey’s closet. We had trudged through the snow to get to the front porch and my poor toes were icicles. I hadn’t thought to grab a few pairs of socks before I left her parents’ house. They had both welcomed me with warm hugs, all while Lucas had sat outside with a sad look over his face. He wanted the acceptance they so freely gave others and I didn’t blame him. I would have wanted it too if the roles were reversed.
My feet thumped on the wood floors as I walked to his massive white dresser in the closet. He had to have socks in here somewhere. I pulled open the first drawer and my shoulders sagged in relief. Socks were piled on top of each other. Black and grey fabric stared back at me from the drawer. I grabbed a pair of grey ones before my eyes snagged on something with pink lace.
I looked over my shoulder to make sure I was alone before I pulled the pink lace free. My stomach dropped and my core did something funny. It was my panties from the night of the party. My breath hitched as I shoved them back in the drawer. I turned around quickly but ran into a wall of muscle instead of the open doorway.
“Hello, little wolf, find something you like?” Rafe’s eyes were bright gold now. The brown completely gone. The scent of my desire evident in the air. I had just as many issues as this Alpha-hole had.
I shook my head.
He leaned down an inch before he smirked. “Are you sure?”
I scowled up at him and crossed my arms over my chest. “Not something I liked, something rather disturbing.”
“Like?” His eyes flicked over my shoulder to the open dresser drawer.
I swallowed hard before my chin went up an inch. “Like my panties from the night you forced a
change on me.”
“My wolf couldn’t help himself. He needed you to know you were ours.” Rafe’s tongue glided over his top lip and my mouth went dry.
“I don’t belong to anyone,” I thought to the ‘D’ on my stomach and all desire I had felt was gone. It was replaced with something vile. Something that slithered up my throat and made me sick. I pushed past Rafe in horror and marched right to the bathroom. I would never be anyone’s because Damian had marked me as his.
I slipped the socks over my feet as I sat on the side of the tub. What would intimacy be like now? Now that I had a constant reminder of my time in captivity? How would I ever feel confident again like I had before? I would never wear a bikini or crop top again. I would never feel like me.
A few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“You apologize now?” My voice came out in a rough whisper, close to tears.
“If that’s what it takes,” He waited a second before he continued. “I’m not the best at this. Not at all but I’m trying to be better. Despite my wolf and his ancient beliefs. I want to be a good man. The beast is something else entirely and I can’t make any promises on him.”
Maybe I could meet him halfway. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe everyone was right about him and that one instance shouldn’t have marked everything in a bad light. I remembered what had happened when Nalia took over. I had killed twice. I had taken two lives because she had deemed it so. Was that how Rafe felt sometimes? Was that what the other wolves in the pack did?
Before I could talk myself out of it, I opened the door. I looked up at Rafe and a tear escaped my eye. It rolled down my face before it dropped onto my shoulder. “I will never be able to belong to anyone. Damian made sure of that.”
Rafe’s lips parted before he sighed and closed his eyes. “I wish I could take it back. That night that I felt your pain, I would have consumed it all just so you didn’t feel it. I would take your scar and wear it instead of you, if I could. I would do anything to make sure that you don’t feel like this anymore but I know that I can’t. There is nothing I can do to change your mind. But I will say this, the scar doesn’t define you or your beauty. If anything, the scar shows how strong you are. How resilient. Whether you wear it proudly someday or not, you will always be strong to me.” The pad of his thumb traced the wet trail of tears on my cheek. “You are courageous. You are magnificent and I am sorry if no one has ever told you that before but I will live the rest of my days reminding you of it, whether you like me or not.”
My heart clenched inside of my chest and I blinked in surprise. I didn’t know what I was expecting from him, but it wasn’t this. It was never this.
I opened my mouth to protest but my head didn’t let me. It stopped the words before they could escape my mouth and damn us both. “I don’t know what to say.”
Rafe tucked a strand of hair behind my ear with his other hand. “Don’t say anything. Just promise me that you will let me redeem myself?”
All I could do was nod my head.
Lucas sat next to me in bed the next day as I contemplated what we were going to do. Knox and Mav were downstairs making all sorts of racket. I needed to find Lucas some clothes for when he was ready to transform but I knew I couldn’t force him into telling them anything. The only person getting frustrated with the wolf was Rafe. He would come to speak with me and there Lucas would be, sleeping in the corner. No matter how many times Rafe wanted to speak to me or be with me, we always had an audience. Rafe had been furious when he had turned around the previous night to find Lucas sitting on his haunches watching the entire exchange.
I had managed a laugh, but Rafe hardly thought it was funny. Lucas had given me his wolfish grin before he jumped onto the bed and went to sleep. I had a feeling he had been faking it for my benefit.
“You’re going to have to identify yourself soon enough.” Knox had brought breakfast up for us. I fed Lucas bacon while I spoke. “Rafe is allowing this but he won’t be too keen on it for much longer.”
Lucas rolled his brown eyes. I chewed on a bite of waffle.
“If you won’t tell them, I will have to.” I was pulling out the big guns now.
He sat up at that and gave me the look that said don’t you dare.
“I’m serious,” I took a sip of my orange juice. “Rafe is going to try to get the information out of me sooner rather than later. I don’t know if I can resist his charms.” I laughed and Lucas sighed in resignation. He tilted his head toward the bathroom. “Yes, there are clothes in there for you.” He shook his head. “Do you want me to get the clothes to bring for you?” He nodded.
Finally, we were getting somewhere. I took a deep breath. “Let’s do this then.”
Chapter 57
Jade
It was showtime. I had gathered everyone that needed to know who Lucas was in the manor. Rafe watched me with curious eyes from the head of the table but I chose to ignore him. I couldn’t let his dark eyes undo me in front of everyone else. It was bad enough that I smelled like him now that I was living in his home. I had walked through the front doors to the manor and he had taken a long satisfied whiff when I walked by him. I swatted his shoulder playfully but an elated feeling had washed through me at the same time.
The Guardians all sat around the table with Tracey’s family. Rafe watched me with careful eyes. I simply sat next to my best friend and waited for Lucas to make his appearance. His scent washed over the room first. Vivian leaned forward and frowned before she looked at her family. Granny’s lips twitched into a knowing smile. Of course, she was aware of who the stranger wolf had been. Lucas walked around the staircase in all of his human glory. He had given himself a haircut and his face was shaved nice and clean. His clothes were a tad bulky on his frame but I knew he would fill them out now that we were out of Damian’s estate.
Vivian was the first one out of her chair. It toppled backwards with a loud crack but she didn’t stop until she was throwing herself into her son’s arms. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is this a trick? My baby!” Her sobs shook the room as she fell apart. The next one throwing herself into the circle of emotion was Tracey. She cupped her brother’s cheeks inside of her hands as her face fell.
“It’s you,” she whispered. “It’s really you!”
Axel stood off to the side awkwardly until Tracey and Vivian untangled themselves from Lucas’s arms. He stood up straighter under his father’s gaze. “I can’t believe it’s you.”
Lucas took a hesitant step toward his father and they both fell apart. Tears coated Axel’s cheeks as he pulled his son into a tight embrace. Granny brushed away a few tears before she got up to hug her grandson. The emotions in the room were stifling. Everyone took turns hugging the man that had become one of my best friends.
Vivian kept her hands wrapped around her son even as everyone started to leave. I didn’t imagine she would let him out of her sight for a while. “You were held captive by Damian too?”
Lucas looked down at his mother. “That’s more of a complicated story than what I want to get into right now.”
Vivian nodded. “Take all the time you need, I’m just happy to have you back. I can’t believe you’re back.”
It wasn’t till later that night that everything seemed to hit the fan. All because Lucas was annoyed with how snarky Rafe was being. Tracey informed me that it probably had something to do with Lucas having a wolf now and not understanding where he fit in the pack dynamic. There would be many challenges until he found his spot.
Rafe launched himself across the small space. “You slept in the same bed as my mate?”
Lucas grinned while he popped his knuckles. “Yes, and you should know she only had lace and silk negligees to wear at night too.”
I rolled my eyes. Why was this happening now and why was Lucas getting so much pleasure out of bothering Rafe? “Can you stop baiting him, please?”
Lucas frowned. “I don’t want to
stop. He just told them that they should have left me behind.”
Rafe crossed his arms over his chest instead of murdering my friend. “That’s because you have a thing for my mate. I can smell her all over you. It’s different now.”
Lucas let out an exasperated sigh. “I really don’t have a thing for her.”
“He’s gay, remember?” Knox nudged Rafe.
“He’s bi, you idiot.” Rafe shook his head incredulously.
Knox made a face. “They have men that are bi?”
Tracey smacked her forehead. “Did you crawl out of the dark ages with my dad?”
He grinned at her. “Only if it gets me brownie points with him.”
Lucas snarled at Knox. “Stay away from my sister.”
Knox took a mocking step toward the woman in question. “What if I like them feisty?”
“Can you all just shut up?” I pinched the bridge of my nose. Idiots. But then it hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. My eyes found Rafe’s. The color drained from my face. “Mate?”
Rafe took a step toward me. All of this had managed to bite him in the ass. It was written all over his face. “You weren’t supposed to find out this way.”
I looked between Lucas and Rafe but my words were for Lucas. “You knew? You knew and that’s why you were baiting him.”
Lucas’s cheeks stained pink. “I might have.”
Rafe snarled at him. “How did you know?”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “That first night you told me not to hurt your mate. I’m not stupid when I’m in my wolf form. Apparently ,some of you are.”
Rafe didn’t take that challenge. He shook his head before he looked at me. “I was going to tell you.”
There was too much emotion. I struggled to breathe through it. My chest ached with the effort. I gasped as he grabbed the tops of my arms.
I had heard him but I felt like I was in a tunnel. My vision swam as I fought the realization he had given me. Nalia perked up inside my head. Yes. Leave it to her to wait till this moment to pop up.
