Skinny Pants

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Macie! We have to go,” Jack called out.

  She sighed. The flames were crawling toward the dirt road. Soon she and Jack wouldn’t be able to get out. She looked at poor Jack and saw the pain in his eyes.

  “Ugh, but—”

  “Please, Macie,” he pleaded. “I don’t want to watch you die. You have your entire life ahead of you—the man of your dreams, kids, your career. You want to give it all up for a horse?”

  She blinked at him, confused. “What man of my dreams, Jack?”

  “I don’t know. Just get in the damned truck, Macie! Let’s go.”

  He hadn’t been referring to himself.

  Wow. So now, even in the middle of all this, he couldn’t say anything to indicate he felt something for her or that he thought she was special. Wow. Just wow.

  She hopped in the truck and then heard some clunking in the trailer behind her. She turned and saw a white horse face in the small window.

  I don’t believe it. Macie got out, secured the back trailer door, and drove as fast as she could, leaving behind a field of flames, an engulfed house, and a smoldering red barn. A minute longer, they would’ve been burnt toast.

  “You were wrong about me, Jack,” she said, her eyes on the smoke-filled road. “I wasn’t born in the wrong period.” That was what he’d said the first time they’d met. That her DNA belonged to a time when food was scarce. “Because this girl’s big thighs and big heart save lives. Yours included. And I know my value.”

  “Macie, I didn’t mean anything by what I said back there.”

  “That’s the problem, Jack. You said something meaningless when you should’ve been thanking your lucky stars that I just risked my life to come and find you.”

  “I’ve been trapped under a horse trailer for over an hour. What do you want from me, Macie?”

  A little gratitude would be nice. Or even a “Wow. I’m so hot for you, you sexy superhero nurse.” Instead, he was behaving like risking her life meant nothing. Like I mean nothing.

  “Nothing,” she replied. “I want nothing.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  One week later.

  “I can’t believe Jack did that.” Fiona sipped on her hot coffee as they sat in Macie’s living room after she’d had another long day at the hospital, dealing with victims of the raging fires to the north and west. Grace and Holly had both left town, staying with relatives until the all clear was given. A lot of areas were still burning. Fiona had stayed in town, but the winery where she worked had burnt to the ground. As for her own family, they’d all gone to stay with Macie’s aunt down in San Jose. It was a complete mess, though it looked like her parents’ home was safe for now.

  “I can’t believe it either,” Macie said. “It’s this nightmare that keeps playing over and over in my head. Me saving Jack and him just telling me that the right guy for me is out there somewhere.”

  “On the same day you almost had sex with him, too.”

  Macie grumbled under her breath.

  “It doesn’t make sense, Macie,” she added. “Maybe he was in shock.”

  “I’m sure he was, but at the same time, I can’t ignore how he acted. Once I got him to the hospital, he didn’t even say goodbye or thank me or anything.” He hadn’t attempted to call or contact her either.

  “That’s harsh.” Fiona shook her head. “What did you do with the horse?”

  “Jack got a hold of Ms. Luci on our way to the hospital. One of Luci’s ranch hands was there waiting to get the horse when I pulled up.” But apparently, Jack had been the last to leave the ranch, and no one knew he was missing because he’d said he would take the horse back to his place. They were all too busy trying to track down neighbors and friends and find places for everyone to go with their animals.

  “Oh my God. He would’ve died if you hadn’t gone, Macie.”

  “Yeah, and imagine if I were a twig like you. No way would I have been able to lift that two-thousand-pound trailer.” It had been tilted on its side, so it wasn’t like she carried the entire thing, but it had still been heavy.

  “You definitely deserve some gold spandex and some snazzy Wonder Woman bracelets.”

  “Right?” Macie smiled, but on the inside, everything hurt. How could Jack be so cold after all that? It didn’t make sense. “I even totaled my car for him.” No doubt it had been burned to a crisp, but the insurance company couldn’t do much until the fires were out. In the meantime, she was driving a rental.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Fiona asked.

  “Do you think I’d make a good nun?”

  Fiona shook her head. “No, because they probably wouldn’t let you keep Thor.”

  “Excellent point.” Macie sipped her coffee. “Well, in the meantime, Jack is out on disability since he broke his ankle, so at least I won’t have to see his gorgeous sorry ass for a while.”

  “When you do see him, just remember that he’s only hot on the outside. On the inside, he’s covered in scabs and festering boils.”

  Macie winced at the mental image.

  “And you almost had sex with him,” she added. “Now are you glad I stopped you?”

  “Yeah,” Macie muttered. “I guess.”

  “What? I can’t hear you. Who’s your BFF that prevented you from having little scabby babies with the scabby monster doctor, huh? Huh?”

  “You,” Macie grumbled pathetically.

  “That’s right. Me. The awesome friend.”

  Macie sighed. “I really could’ve loved him.” She already did. Why else would it hurt so much to have it end like this? Because, honestly, even if he said sorry, whatever she felt for him was broken. Gone and broken. She couldn’t get it back, even if he groveled a thousand times. He’d crossed a line and hurt her.

  “Well, I gotta take off. I’m meeting Trevor,” Fiona said.

  “Who’s Trevor?”

  “Match number twenty-six. We’re having drinks in San Francisco.”

  “That’s a long way to go for a date,” Macie said.

  “Well, did I mention that he owns the winery?”

  “He’s your boss?” Macie asked, completely shocked.

  “Was my boss. The winery is gone, so I’m no longer employed by him, which is the reason he called last night to ask me out. Drinks on his yacht.”

  “I can’t believe your luck, Fiona.” Men tripped over themselves all day long for her.

  “I haven’t gotten lucky yet—still waiting to find Mr. Right.” She set her cup on the coffee table, and Macie walked her out.

  “Have fun on your date.” Macie hugged her goodbye and then locked the door and went to collect their empty mugs.

  Her doorbell rang.

  Macie unlocked the door and pulled it open. “Forget your keys?” A little gray-haired woman with deep wrinkles around her eyes and mouth stood there. She wore a bright orange peasant dress with white flowers. “Ms. Luci?”

  “I made you brownies.” She held out an aluminum baking dish covered in foil.

  “Uh, thank you.” Macie took the dish, still warm to the touch. “Would you like to come in?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Luci entered, and Macie offered her a seat, very curious as to why this woman was here.

  “Would you like some coffee? I just made a pot,” Macie said.

  Luci took a seat on the couch. “No, child. But thank you. I just wanted to come by and tell you how grateful I am that you saved my horse.”

  Macie sat across from her in her rose-colored armchair. “Honestly, she saved herself.”

  “Jack told me.”

  Macie nodded solemnly. It almost hurt to hear his name spoken. “Well, that’s one smart horse.” Can’t say as much for the jackass I rescued, too.

  “Yes, she is, and she’s all I have left of my ranch now—our pigs and chickens are in new homes.”

  “I’m so sorry about the fire. You must be devastated.”

  Luci swiped her hands through the air. “I suppose it’s a blessing in a
way. I’m old, and it’s time to retire.”

  “I thought Jack’s sister was taking over for you.”

  “I had thought so, too, but maybe this is God’s way of telling me he has other plans for her. And for me. Besides, I couldn’t continue if I wanted. The ranch burned down, and that means no more cookies.”

  “I’m sure you can find another place to bake.”

  Luci folded her small hands neatly in her lap. “Bake, yes, but the secret ingredient died in that fire.”

  Macie blinked. “What secret ingredient?” Please don’t go Soylent Green on me. Please.

  “The Native Americans who once lived on the land called it the tree of life. They believed it had a god living inside who brought happiness into one’s heart.”

  Macie listened, trying to figure out where this conversation was going. It had the potential to get weird. Really weird.

  Luci continued, “When I bought the land over forty years ago, the woman who sold it made me promise to never cut down the tree. She said if we did, everyone who’d ever fallen in love underneath it would fall out of love.”

  “So it’s a love tree?”

  “It’s a beautiful old legend I quickly forgot about. But after Jeffrey died, I was lost. Three children to raise alone. No family left. I did not know what to do. Then one evening, I was sitting right there on my porch and saw a young Mexican couple standing under my tree kissing. Of course, I asked why they were trespassing, and they told me that tree was magic. Honestly, I’d all but forgotten about what the previous owner told me.”

  “So you think the tree is magic?”

  “Well, I got curious, you see. I began researching the history of the land. There wasn’t much, but then I researched that tree. I took leaves and showed them to our local nursery, asking what type it was. They didn’t know. Then I sent a few leaves to the local university. They didn’t know either. Over the decades, I’ve had dozens of biologists examine those leaves, and no one knows what it is, which leads me to the conclusion that it was the very last of its kind. A dinosaur of trees, now extinct.”

  “That’s pretty strange, but you don’t really think the tree was magic.”

  Luci leaned forward. “Who am I to say? But I will tell you this: I had already planted my garden near that tree—the shade in the summer was perfect for my vanilla beans. And there is no denying that my cookies have an influence on people.”

  So Luci thought that the plants in her garden grown near that tree made people fall in love? It was a sweet, crazy story. But, of course, that was all it was. A story.

  “Well,” Macie said, “I’m not so sure you couldn’t start a new garden with new beans on that same land and make cookies again.”

  Luci sighed. “The tree is burnt to the ground. Dead. The last of its kind. There will be no more cookies. No more Happy Pants Café. And Jack was the last person to ever be matched by me.”

  Huh? Macie took a moment as that sank in. “Wait. I thought Jack told you not to meddle.”

  Luci’s brown eyes flickered with mischief. “Do you think a little kicking and screaming would discourage a woman like me? There’s a reason they always come to me for help; I know what I’m doing.” Luci frowned. “Except this time. This time, love did not win, and it saddens me deeply to end on such a dismal note.” She shook her head. “I truly believed you were the right one for him. All the signs were there.”

  What! “You were trying to get us together?”

  Luci nodded. “Yes.”

  “Even after Jack told you to butt out?”

  Luci nodded again. “I am a determined woman, Macie Jane Franklin. Daughter of Joseph and Judy Franklin. Born November 3, 1989. Scorpio.”

  “Wait. So you—”

  “Picked you. Yes. Well, let me rephrase that. Once someone eats one of my famous cookies, they meet their true love in seven days. With the help of family, friends, and a few resources, we merely keep track of who they meet for one week. It’s usually fairly simple to spot the one they’re meant to fall for, though these tougher cases, such as Jack, require additional help.”

  Macie couldn’t believe this. “So you got Jack to eat a cookie—”

  “Yes, with the assistance of his sister, Taylor, who had them lying out at her house when he went to babysit little Colt. Of course, those had chocolate frosting, and he ate all twelve. Such a glutton, that Jack, but he did meet you in just a few days.”

  Macie’s mouth fell open. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

  Luci went on, “And then we watched and waited. When Rodrigo and I reviewed who Jack had come into contact with at the hospital, I knew you were the one. Only, you were very closed off, Macie. We required a second cookie—yours—to secure the match.”

  Macie scrubbed her face with her hands. “You faked being sick.” As Macie said the words, her mind replayed the night she’d met Luci. Rodrigo coming in to get her. “But the tests showed you had a heart attack.”

  Luci smirked. “What can I say, Macie? I am a woman with many friends.”

  “Yeah. Who falsifies medical records and plays a mean game of invading privacy.” Macie didn’t know whether to be angry about all of the lies and spying or impressed by how well Luci hid her scheming. “How’d you get Rodrigo to help you?”

  Luci leaned back on the couch, a look of satisfaction gleaming in her dark eyes. “His parents are satisfied customers. Married right on my ranch in 1988.”

  “Wow. I’m completely…” Macie wasn’t sure what to say. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

  “I’m a believer in something bigger than us. That merely makes me spiritual.” Luci shrugged. “The cookies make me eccentric. But at my age, who gives a shit what anyone thinks?”

  “Does Jack know all this?”

  Luci scratched her head. “I told him the day of the fire. He came to help us evacuate and stayed behind to set up the sprinklers on the barn and the tree.”

  “And?”

  “And as I was leaving, he asked me to tell him the truth—did I have anything to do with him meeting you.”

  Oh no. “You told him yes.”

  Luci nodded, and a look of pure sadness flooded her face. “He was furious.”

  “But you told him I had nothing to do with all this, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, but he was still angry.”

  Macie groaned. “Of course he was. After what Doris did to him, why wouldn’t he be? You lied to his face.”

  “It’s a price we must pay for love, and I tell you what: People lie for many reasons—selfishness, power, greed, and lust. This world is full of liars, manipulators, and people filled with hate. Do you honestly think we can win by playing nice? No. We must get our hands dirty. We must take risks. And yes, sometimes, we must lie.” Luci cocked a silvery brow. “There is no price I will not pay to help two people find love, true love. Not when there is so much bitterness in this world.”

  Wow. Okay. Macie was beginning to see that Luci was not this sweet old grandmother who baked love cookies. This woman had teeth and claws. She’s like the granny terminator of love.

  Luci stood. “And now that I have told you the truth, I ask your forgiveness. I miscalculated with Jack. And I have paid dearly for it.”

  Macie could only guess what Luci meant by that last part. Perhaps she thought that the fire was some cosmic punishment for her failure. Perhaps she meant that she’d lost Jack’s friendship.

  “Luci, does Jack think I played a part?”

  Luci sighed. “I do not know. But he believes his feelings for you were manufactured, that I pushed him towards you.”

  Macie sighed. It all made sense now. Jack’s reaction that day of the fire had been all about this.

  “I can’t say I agree with how you get things done, Luci. In fact, I think all of the lies have caused more damage than anything.” Jack would never trust anyone ever again, and that apparently now included himself. He didn’t believe his feelings for Macie were real.

  Luci nodded. “As I said,
I am paying the price.”

  Macie saw the pain in Luci’s eyes, and it saddened her. The woman had lost her home and business. She’d lost her calling, too.

  Luci added, “Needless to say, I won’t involve myself any further. However, I wanted you to know the truth about why Jack has turned his back on you. I am very sorry I failed you, child.”

  Macie was sad, too. She and Jack had been so close to breaking through the ugly pile of baggage keeping them apart. If only Luci and her cookie army had just stayed the hell out of it. I always knew cookies were evil.

  After Macie and Luci said their goodbyes, Macie tossed the brownies in the trash—God only knew what that woman might have put in them—another love potion?—and then went to bed.

  She lay there for twenty minutes, her mind spinning with the insane story Luci had told her.

  Dammit. I can’t sleep. Macie got up, went to her vanity, and found some paper. If Jack was never going to forgive or speak to her again, at the very least he needed to know what he’d done for her. The truth.

  She started out by restating that she had not lied about the cookies and she felt very sorry for the way things ended. But, Jack, I’ve come to realize that despite everything, I don’t regret meeting you. Before you came along, I always loved myself. But there was something missing in my life, and I know now it’s because I never really let people in. A shame really, because at the end of the day, we’re blind when it comes to seeing who we really are. We tell ourselves lies, that we’re better or worse than we really are. We look in the mirror and see the layers of falsehoods we’ve created. But now I’ve learned that the only way to really accept yourself is by seeing the truth through other people. People who love you.

  Anyway, I think, Jack, that maybe it’s why we clicked. We both suffered from the same affliction. Only, you cured me that morning before the fire when I saw myself through your eyes. And now I know how incredibly lucky I am to be someone who’s not just loved by many, but deserves it. Macie prayed he understood that while he could be mad for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t be able to move forward if he shut everyone out.