CHAPTER IV
JIMMY READS THE PAPER
_The Doubleay_ was written and edited in the sanctum in Academy Halland printed in a small job printing shop over Garfield’s groceryon State street. As school weeklies go, _The Doubleay_ was a verypresentable sheet. Typographical errors were only frequent enough toencourage the reader of a humorous turn of mind to a diligent perusalof the four pages; the advertising matter was attractively displayedand the editorial policy was commendably simple, being to present thenews accurately and briefly. The paper was published on Thursday anddistributed to subscribers and advertisers by a more or less efficientcorps of six young gentlemen, usually freshmen, who received themunificent reward of half a cent per copy. The first issue of thepaper this fall came out on the second Thursday of the term, and,according to custom, contained six pages instead of the usual four, theadded matter consisting of the student list arranged by classes andprinted on two sides of a half-sheet under the impressive legend: _TheDoubleay--Supplement_.
Now, if your transom was open when the carrier reached your door youfound the paper on the floor when you returned to your room, or,if it happened to flutter under a bed or into the waste-basket, youdiscovered it the next day or a week later or not at all, as the casemight be. To-day, however, Stanley Hassell pushed it aside with theopening door when he and Jimmy returned from the gymnasium and, pickingit up, tossed it to the table.
“All the news that’s fit to print,” he commented. “The old _Flubdub’s_out again, Jimmy.” Stanley intended no disrespect to the journal: hemerely used the customary name for it. Jimmy sighed as he sank into achair and reached for the paper.
“Why, I’m glad to see its cheerful face again,” he murmured. “Anddoesn’t it look familiar! I wonder if any of the old friends of myyouth are missing.” He was silent a minute as he turned the pages andas Stanley stretched himself on a window-seat that was four inchestoo short for him. “No,” Jimmy went on, “they’re all here: Sampson’sLivery, Girtle, the Academy Tailor, Go to Smith’s for Stationery, TheBest Soda in the City, College Last Shoes--all the dear, familiar oldfriends of me youth, Stan. And here’s Gookin, the Painless Dentist,still holding out a welcoming hand, and the Broadway Theater and theNew York Haberdashery and--yes, here are a couple of new ones! I tellyou, Stan, the old _Flubdub’s_ a live un! ‘After the Game--DrinkMerlin Ginger Ale.’ Now, why should I, Stan? Seems to me it’s notenough to just tell me to drink the stuff: they ought to give me areason why--hello! Well, I’ll be swiggled! Listen to this, will you?‘The Sign of the Football. R. W. Emerson and G. Patterson announce theopening of their shop at 112 West street with a full line of Athleticand Sporting Supplies and cordially solicit the patronage of theirfellow students. Quality goods at New York Prices. Academy Discount.“PandF spells Best!”’”
“That’s the Emerson we found waiting on table at the hotel,” exclaimedStanley interestedly. “At least, I suppose it is. I don’t believethere’s another Emerson in school.”
“I’ll soon tell you,” said Jimmy, rescuing the Supplement from besidehis chair. “Emerson, E., Dribble--that’s a swell cognomen, if youask me!--Dutton, Eager--none in the senior class. And none in thejunior--yes, there is, ‘Emerson, Russell Wilcox, Lawrence, N. Y., U.27.’”
“That’s this fellow,” said Stanley. “R. W., Russell Wilcox. Any others?”
“N-no, not in the-- Hold on, though. Here’s another in the freshmanbunch: ‘Emerson, Ernest Prentice--’”
“Not him. He wouldn’t be a freshie. Besides, the initials aren’t right.But who’s G. Patterson?”
“Seems to me I remember a Patterson,” mused Jimmy. “Of course! Youknow him; at least by sight. Tall, thin gink; curly hair; Canadian, Ithink. Rooms in Upton. Wasn’t he trying for baseball last spring?”
Stanley nodded. “Yes, but didn’t make it. I believe he’s a bit of atennis shark. I remember. Maybe he and Emerson room together.”
“Right-o!” corroborated Jimmy, referring again to the list. “What doyou know about them opening a store? Got their courage, what? Athleticgoods, eh? Well, honest, Stan, there’s a mighty good chance for someone to handle a decent line of athletic goods here. Crocker never haswhat you want, or, if he has, it’s so old it falls to pieces before youcan use it. Remember the glove you bought last spring?”
Stanley nodded earnestly. “Fool thing went to pieces the third time Iwore it,” he grunted. “Crocker’s higher than thunder, too. He doesn’tknow the War’s over yet! Wouldn’t be surprised if these fellows didpretty well, Jimmy.”
“Nor I; and I hope they do. This Emerson guy seems to have a lot ofgrit, or--or something. Initiative, too. Plucky chap. I liked his looksthat day at Pine Harbor.” After a moment, his eyes returned to theadvertisement, “Say, what do you suppose this cryptic bit means? ‘PandFspells Best.’ What’s PandF?”
“You may explore me,” replied Stanley, yawning. “Maybe a misprint forP and E, Patterson and Emerson.”
“But it’s ‘Emerson and Patterson.’ Besides, the thing’s run together,like one word.”
“It’s probably put there to make fellows curious, just as it’s madeyou, Jimmy. Sort of a--a--what do they call ’em? Slogans, isn’t it?Like ‘It Floats,’ or--or--” But to save his life Stanley couldn’t thinkof another example, and he subsided on the pillows again with a grunt.
“Yes, but what’s ‘PandF’?” reiterated Jimmy, frowningly. “Potatoes andFarina? Pork and--and--”
“Cabbage,” suggested Stanley. “Queer how your thoughts always runtoward food, Jimmy. Isn’t there anything else in the paper?”
“I guess so. Let’s see.” Jimmy turned to the first page. “‘RecordEnrollment’; that’s about the number of fellows; four hundred andtwenty-four, Stan: ‘estimated.’ Don’t see why they have to estimate.Maybe they didn’t have time to count ’em, though. ‘New CoursesOffered.’ Avaunt! ‘Football Situation.’ Hm, the usual twaddle. ‘Notin recent years has the Team lost so many of its first-string playersby graduation.’ Guess that’s so, too. ‘Of those who started the Kenlygame last Fall but three remain to serve as a nucleus about which tobuild this year’s Eleven; Captain Proctor, tackle, Nichols, center,and Mawson, half-back. The situation is not, though, as desperate asthis fact would make it appear, as there is much excellent substitutematerial on hand. Rhame and McLeod, ends, Rowlandson, guard, Cravath,center, Richards, quarter-back, Harmon, Austen, Longstreth and Kruger,half-backs, and Browne and Linthicum, full-backs, have all hadexperience, and from them Coach Cade will doubtless be able to selecta Team of no mean ability. What may develop from the new candidates isproblematic, but nearly always one star appears unheralded.’ Hurrah!There’s a lot more of it, but as I don’t see my name again we’ll quit.And here’s the schedule. ‘Alton High School, Banning High School,Lorimer Academy, Hillsport School, New Falmouth High School, MountMillard School--’ Say, look where Mount Millard comes, Stan; secondgame from the last!”
“Sure! Why not?”
“How come?”
“Why, you dumb-bell, didn’t they whale us last year, 19 to 0?”
“That’s so, but--”
“Well, we’ve put them down the list where we can handle them. Who’snext?”
“Oak Grove. Then Kenly. We have three games away from home.”
“All faculty will allow. Good thing, too, if you ask me.”
“I hadn’t, old dear, but I will. What’s the answer?”
“Takes too much money traveling around with the team.”
“Oh! Yes, there’s something in that. Here’s a bit about the baseballsituation, but who cares about that? Let’s see, now--”
“Read it,” commanded Stanley.
Jimmy looked across protestingly. “But it’s of absolutely no interestto any one except a few mistaken idiots who--”
“_Read it!_”
“Oh, well!” Jimmy sighed. “‘Fall baseball practice, which startedMonday, brought out an unusually large field of candidates. Six oflast year’s creditable Team we
re on hand--’” Jimmy paused and sniffed.“‘Creditable!’ How do they attain that condition? ‘On hand, andpractically all of the Scrub Nine. Of new men the more promising atpresent are Dixon, who hails from Springfield High School, and Jameson,from Earl Academy. Captain Grainger announces that daily practice willbe held as long as the weather permits, and asks all those who expectto take part in baseball next Spring to report at once.’ There, therewasn’t a single mention of your name, Stan. I knew there was no call toread the piffle.”
“We’ll have a corking team this year,” mused Stanley.
“Huh, you said that last year, and look what Kenly did to you!”
“That’s all right,” replied the other warmly. “We landed seventeen outof twenty-one games and tied one--the best record in--”
“Son, you lost to Kenly, and that’s the unforgivable sin,” interruptedJimmy didactically.
“Oh, well,” grumbled Stanley.
“Not, of course, that baseball is a sport to be taken seriously,”continued Jimmy lightly. “We can lose at soccer and tennis and baseballand still hold our heads up; which is extremely fortunate, too. Thoseminor sports--” He broke off to dodge a cushion, and then looked at hiswatch. “Geewhillikins, Stan! It’s after six! Move your lazy bones andlet’s eat!”
Whereupon all was bustle and action in Number 4 Lykes Hall.
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