by Edo-chan
“To give my sales a real boost, I would love to have your friend be a model for my online catalog.”
“A model? That’s up to her. I get that would be helping you out, but what will she get for it?”
Ken didn’t even know if a side job was even allowed in her contract.
“Free product. I also do special creations, and a real model would give my store the unique edge it deserves!”
Matilda seemed really fired up.
A question popped into Ken’s head: alien screwballs or Earthling screwballs, which ones were harder to get away from? Ken didn’t have an answer to give himself.
“Hey, Katrina.”
“Yeah?” she replied.
“How would you like to be a model?”
“As in plastic?”
“No, as in for clothing. You get some free clothes and other things in your size.”
She thought for a moment. “Sure,” she said, and hovered over to them.
“Spectacular. Nice to meet you. Katrina, was it?”
“Yes.”
“Would you be able to make it this weekend?”
“I don’t know.” She turned to Ken. “Would I?”
“We’ll work something out. I guess this is an advance on what she’ll get?”
“Precisely.”
“I’d have to request on no iffy stuff, if you know what I mean. I’m looking after her.”
“You have my word of honor.”
“Well then, we’ll be back this weekend.”
* * *
At home, the crew was greeted by the sounds of laughter from the living room on the second floor. Ken and the rest hit the top of the landing and saw Natalia watching T.V.
“What are you watching?” Ken asked.
“I don’t know. Some show about people running through an obstacle course. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life!”
“You shouldn’t spend so much time watching T.V. It’ll rot your brain.”
She responded with a laugh at the next person on television, tripping on a rock and falling into a large pool of water.
She regained her composure after a moment. “Remember, we have a shopping trip tomorrow. You better not forget,” she reminded him.
Ken didn’t like her tone, but he said he would. “Yeah, yeah.”
He took the bag of items they got from Matilda’s store and put it on the table, rummaged through and pulled out the boxes of items. There was a small table along with the silverware and cups. Katrina helped to set them up in the middle of the dining room table, and the spread was just enough for her to be comfortable with.
Now all that was left was to make dinner, but that was about two hours away. “Dinner’s not going to be ready for a while. Feel free to lounge around.”
“I’m going to get ready for tomorrow,” Angelica said.
“Okay.”
“You’ll have to give me a ride until I’m able to drive. Oh! You’re going to have to teach me to drive.”
“Me, too,” Cassandra added.
Natalia, predictably, said nothing. If Alisa had been there, she might have agreed – or not said anything, or . . .
“We’ll start that next week,” Ken said.
“Better get my things together, too,” Cassandra said as she walked toward her room.
“Are you going to be able to carry that thing to college?” Ken asked, pointing to her sword.
“I received a license before I came. It’ll be okay.”
“If you say so.”
Katrina remained perched on Ken’s head. “What are you going to make?”
“Good question. I think I’ll make Irish stew and Caesar salad.”
“What salad?”
“Caesar salad. And maybe some buttered rolls.”
“Sounds complicated,” Katrina exclaimed.
“I’ll have to check the recipe again, since I’m probably a little rusty on those.”
Ken was going through ingredients when the phone rang. He picked it up, and a familiar voice was on the other end.
“How was your first evening?” Amelta asked.
“Stellar.”
“You don’t seem too enthusiastic.”
“That’s not it at all. I’m just in the middle of preparing for dinner.”
“Oh, then I’ll be brief. I’ve been contacted by a local news station, and they’re looking for an interview.”
“Today?”
“Oh my, no. This will be a month from now. There are already some news bites about visitors staying in the area. They will, hopefully, be keeping their distance for the time being. No guarantees.”
“Well, set a time. If they want to see or talk with everyone, that’d have to be on a Saturday.”
“Good! I’ll try to get back with you as soon as I can.”
“Take your time. It’s not as if I’m going anywhere.” Ken suddenly remembered Katrina’s side job. “Say, I have a question about part time jobs.”
“Do you need one?”
“No, no. I have a feeling that taking care of the tenants is going to be a career in and of itself, but that’s bedsides the point. Are my tenants allowed to have part time jobs?”
“Didn’t you read through the contract?”
Ken picked out a can and put it on the counter. “No. That’s why I have you to explain it, right?”
Amelta giggled. “According to the contract, part time jobs are okay, as long as they don’t interfere with what your tenants have come to Earth for. If you don’t mind me asking, why the sudden interest in them having jobs?”
“It looks like Katrina’s going to be a model for a local doll shop. She needs some utensils and clothes, so she’s doing it quid pro quo.”
“Quid? Is that dangerous?”
“’Quid pro quo’ means ‘this for that.’ She gets her payment in things she can use.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem at all.”
“Whew. That makes things easier.”
Ken decided not to tell her that they already agreed to be at Matilda’s during the weekend.
“I’ll keep in touch, Ken.”
“Okay.”
Ken hung up the phone.
* * *
There was a scratching sound at the back door which led to the kitchen. Something was clawing on the metal of the screen door.
Alisa heard it when she was in the kitchen getting a drink. She looked at the door, thinking it might have been the wind. The scratching started again.
She walked over to the door and opened it. She looked down and saw a red animal sitting on the other side of the screen door, looking up at her. Alisa tilted her head in confusion, and she could have sworn the creature did likewise to her.
She stepped back and went into the living room where Ken was.
“There’s a small creature at the kitchen door.”
“Huh?” Ken said, looking up from his newspaper.
“There’s a small red creature at the back door. I opened the door, and the creature looked up at me expectantly.”
Ken thought for a moment, and then a look of realization came over his face. “Oh, it’s her.”
“Who?”
* * *
Ken sat down in a chair on the deck, and put down two bowls: one with food, the other with water.
The fox hoisted its front paws up on his left knee after he did. Ken patted its head. After acknowledging the attention, the fox went down to the bowls and started eating.
“A pet of yours?” Alisa asked.
“Not at all.”
“What kind of animal is it?”
“It’s called a ‘fox.’ They’re usually found just a tiny bit farther north, but it’s not uncommon to see them around here, especially with all the farms.”
“Is it domesticated?”
She reached out a hand to pet the fox like Ken did, but it growl
ed in warning.
“Interesting,” she said.
“I’ll say. She just showed up one day about a year ago. I was sitting outside, feeling sorry for myself, when she appeared right next to me. Didn’t make a sound or anything. She just sat there with me. Ever since then, she comes around every so often. Probably just to check up on how I’m doing.”
The fox finished its meal, and put its paws up on Ken’s knee again. Ken patted it on the head.
“See you next time.”
The fox scampered down the deck’s stairs.
“What’s her name? And what’s more, how do you know it’s female?”
“Since male animals don’t really like me, it’s got to be a she. But I haven’t checked, and don’t particularly want to. She doesn’t have a name that I know of.” Ken picked up the bowls. “Why don’t you think of one?”
“Hmmm . . .”
“If you think of one, make sure you ask her.”
“Ask her? I don’t think, as an animal, she would respond.”
“Are you sure?”
“She’s an animal.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure about that.”
Irish Stew
Serves Four
1/2 lb. pork, 1/4 cup flour, 2 whole potatoes, 4 cups soup stock,
half a stalk of celery, 1 to 1-1/2 tbs. salad oil to taste,
half a carrot, 1-1/2 tsp. salt, 1 whole round onion, dash of pepper,
3/4 cup milk, 1 tbsp. green peas, 1/4 stick of butter, 1 stalk of parsley
(1) Peel the potatoes, cut them into six-piece chunks, and let sit in water. Cut the carrots and pork into chunks, and slice the onion.
(2) Melt the butter in a soup pan, add flour, and slowly simmer over low heat. Slowly add the soup stock, using a wooden spatula to thoroughly mix it.
(3) Simmer the onion, carrots, potato, pork and celery in the salad oil, and then add (1) to the pan. Add salt and pepper to taste, and once the vegetables have softened, add the milk, and stop just before it boils.
(4) Serve on a soup plate, garnish with peas.
Chapter Four
Or, A (Not So) Healthy Dose of Silver!
Ken went to the grocery store to restock, and picked up some items he had forgotten. Katrina accompanied him, for the experience and to get away from her monitoring duties for a while. He parked in front of the grocery store, they entered, and Ken pulled out his grocery list.
People gave them strange looks. It would have been more odd had people not been aware of the otherworlders in the community. Ken had been told that there were a few more houses like his, and some otherworlders staying with families. Since Ken was single and had no one else in his house, he had the largest group.
Katrina was perched on his head, making quick little movements like a squirrel as she took in the new surroundings.
“First time in a supermarket?” Ken asked.
“No. Just this one!”
A woman and her young son walked past them. Katrina smiled at the boy, and waved.
“Hi!”
The boy looked up at her, and as they went past, he tugged on his mother’s shirt. “Mommy, that doll on that man’s head talked and waved to me.”
“Dolls don’t talk and wave on their own. It was your imagination,” her mother chided him.
“But . . .” he whined as they turned off at the end of the aisle.
Katrina sulked. Ken smirked.
They went through the aisles, picking up meats, vegetables, cereals, drinks, and cooking ingredients. Katrina was handy in being able to pull some items off the top shelves.
Half way through their trip, Katrina pointed out something.
“Ken, is that someone else staying on this planet?”
“Huh?” Ken said, looking up from reading an ingredients label.
At the end of the aisle of canned goods was a short, young woman in a black maid outfit. She had light brown hair down to her shoulders, and was staring very intently at a can she held in her hands. Ken blinked when he saw her skin color was light pink.
“Dunno. Maybe.”
Ken went back to reading a label when he heard a ‘thunk,’ then heard something rolling down the aisle. It stopped when it hit the wheel of Ken’s cart.
The woman rushed up to them and apologized. “I’m sorry!”
Katrina picked up the can, and brought it back up to the maid. “Here you are!”
“Th-Thank you.”
She looked nervous.
“Are you staying on Earth, too?” Ken inquired.
“Yes. I arrived two weeks ago.”
“We got here a few days ago!” Katrina chimed in while perching on Ken’s head.
“We?” the maid inquired with a tilt of her head.
“Yeah,” Ken sighed. “She,” pointing to Katrina, “is one of the five at my house.”
“You have five staying at your house!?”
“Yeah. How many where you are staying?”
“Just one. Me.”
“Is it fun there, too?” Katrina asked.
“Fun?” the woman echoed, seeming like she didn’t understand the meaning.
Katrina nodded. “Ken is really nice. And there’s a lot of good stuff to eat on this planet.”
“Seems . . . nice.”
Ken couldn’t help notice a tinge of sadness in her voice.
He was about to ask her about it, when a man called out from down the aisle to her.
“Sasha, are you done yet? We’re leaving.”
“Oh, yes. C-Coming!”
She turned and jogged down the aisle.
“What was that all about?” Katrina wondered, moving down to the cart.
“Don’t know.”
“She seemed sad.”
“Yeah, she did.”
“I hope I didn’t scare her.”
He patted her worried little head.
“I don’t think there’s a chance of that happening.”
* * *
Ken pulled his car into the parking lot of the shopping mall.
Natalia was in the passenger’s seat. Ken agreed to take her to some place normal. He wasn’t exactly the type that hovered in circles of high society, so normal had to do.
“This is it?” she asked, looking up and down the long building, as if it didn’t meet her standards.
“Yes. And it’s plenty.”
“I’ve seen bigger,” she remarked.
Ken couldn’t say he had – well, an ego as big as hers, anyway.
And so Ken burned away five hours of his life he would never get back, which was composed of going through nearly every store. Twice.
Near the end of Ken’s seemingly endless and pointless journey, they stopped in front of a store they hadn’t entered. It was the kind of store that was the bane of every man. A store that most men feel slightly uncomfortable going in to with a woman. A store that a man most certainly wouldn’t go in by himself without a really good reason.
“Are you coming in?” Natalia wondered expectantly, from a step inside the store.
He looked at the store front again. “Preferably not.”
She tapped her foot a couple of times, then reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him into the store.
“No! Stop! I don’t want to! Gaaaaah!”
It was too late. He had taken a step in.
Two ladies behind a sales counter were giggling at them. Ken sighed and resigned himself to being completely defeated.
“You know,” Natalia said, “they do have men’s clothes here.”
“Still, I feel . . .” Ken nervously looked around and continued, “. . . really weird here.”
“Weird?”
“Kind of like, say, being turned inside out.”
She gave him a funny look, and then smiled. “You don’t have much experience with women, do you?”
“I have my share of experience, as if it’s any of your business, thank you very much. As
compared to your experience with men, pray tell?”
She stared at him for a moment then turned around. “Let’s pick up some items.”
“Don’t dodge the question!”
But she’d already vanished into the ocean of lace, ruffles, silk and see-through material.
The ladies behind the counter giggled again.
Ken remained where he was. If he didn’t move, he couldn’t get in any trouble. That would be good.
. . . How do you even wear something like that? All it looked like is something the size of a plastic snack bag.
Gaaaaah! He looked!
He did a face palm.
One of the ladies walked over to him, with an amused look on her face.
“Can I help you?” she said with a large smirk.
Ken contemplated responding, ‘Yeah! GET ME OUT OF HERE!’
“Um, not really. I mean, I don’t think you have anything in my size.”
Her face faulted.
“It was a joke.”
“First time shopping in a store like this with someone?”
“Yeah. I’ve never to one of these places with someone before.”
“So, you’re shopped in here by yourself at one point?” she concluded, amused.
“No!”
He realized the longer he stayed in there, the deeper the hole he would be digging. If this continued, the aforementioned hole would be big enough to cover him up to his eyebrows.
“Is the young lady a romantic attachment?”
“No! And I should certainly hope someone like her never becomes my girlfriend.”
“So, you’re shopping for yourself?”
“No!”
“For someone else?”
“No! I’m just carrying bags.”
She was still smiling.
“You really enjoy tormenting the men who come in here, don’t you?”
“It’s in my job description.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. She simply smiled back.
Natalia stepped back into view. “I’ve got a couple of questions here.”
“Certainly,” the lady said, walking away.
“This is going to be a long, long day,” he muttered.
* * *
“Do you deliver?” Natalia asked the salesman.
“We can, for a small fee.”
She wanted to go to an electronics store, which wasn’t near the mall. She bought four televisions and four DVD players. Ken could only assume she was trying to bribe the other tenants, since there was no reason to buy four sets.
“Ken, tell him where we live.”
