Hopefully, I wasn’t about to get zapped or impaled. Or whatever Marne had suggested with the whole deformed bear cub thing.
10
Cassian
Logan and Gage both lifted their eyes to look at something behind me. I turned and saw Charli walking toward us. Tristan and Kennedy had been in the middle of a conversation, but they stopped to look, too.
“Hi,” Kennedy said cheerily. “You’re new, right? I’m Kennedy.”
Charli shot her a confused look, then flashed a quick smile and breathed, “hi.” She turned her focus back on me, like she was pepping herself up for something. “You’re an asshole, Cassian.”
The delivery wasn’t bad, but it came out a little strained. Like an invisible hand was clutching her throat and forcing her voice a few octaves too high.
Gage and Logan turned their eyes to me without moving their heads. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Gage looked like he was trying to hold back laughter.
“Is that all?” I asked.
Charli looked like she had been expecting something else. She shifted slightly, then seemed to regain her anger. “No. It’s not. We used to be friends. I know it was forever ago, but we were inseparable. What happened to you?”
The way she half-whispered the last question stirred something in me. I shoved it back down a moment later, letting the anger boil back up. “You happened to me.”
“Damn,” Logan said. He popped a peanut in his mouth, chewing happily. “Didn’t realize we’d get a soap opera with our lunch today.”
I stood up suddenly, gripping Charli’s arm. She tried to squirm free, but I reached up and pulled her hair back, exposing the diagonal patch of puckered skin from her temple to her eyebrow. “See that?” I asked, holding her tight even as she squirmed and tried to kick at me.
“Let me go,” she said. I could tell she was already fighting to hold back tears, but there was anger in her voice, too.
Good. This wouldn’t be half as satisfying if she just rolled over and took her punishment. I wanted her to fight it tooth and nail, because it’d be all the more satisfying when I finally broke her.
“Tristan,” Kennedy hissed. “Do something!”
With a sigh, Tristan stood and faced me. “Do you have to play with your food before you eat it?” His voice was almost bored.
Kennedy gave him a little jab in the side.
He gestured to me. “Come on. Let her go, or you’re going to get me in trouble with Wheels.”
I gave Charli one last look, then leaned in close so only she could hear me. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bother with you, Scarface, but yeah. I think I will.”
As soon as I let her go, she tried to slap me. I caught her wrist and tilted my head. “Careful. Put your hands on me and I’ll be obligated to return the favor. But I can’t promise you won’t like it.”
She jerked her arm free and stormed out of the cafeteria.
I sat back down and picked up my sandwich, taking a bite.
Logan was watching me with a disgusted look on his face. “You are so beyond fucked up. Making fun of a girl for a scar is a new low. Even for you.”
Gage nodded. “Have to agree. I mean, you’ve got that fucked up scar on your back. What’s the word I’m looking for?” Gage tapped his chin in thought. “Damn. Too bad my dad isn’t here to let me borrow an adjective.”
“Hypocritical,” Kennedy said dryly. “Because Cassian is a huge hypocrite and a prick.”
Tristan watched me with dull amusement in his eyes. The challenge there was always open, always waiting. He and I had fought before, and I knew we’d fight again, eventually. It was just how things were between us.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my texts, ignoring all of them. I had a virtual pile-up of messages because I hadn’t checked my phone in a couple days.
Abbie: Parents are out of town tonight and I’ve got booze. Is it a date?
No.
Preston: Hey, man. This is Preston from the game last Friday. Trying to find your party. Where did you say your house was?
I grinned. No wonder that dumbass never showed up.
Gage: is it incest if I have sex with sisters in the same day but at different times?
I looked up at Gage and turned my phone to face him. “Seriously?”
He shrugged. “I decided it wasn’t. For the record.”
Logan shook his head, grinning. “The Presley sisters? How’d you like those sloppy seconds, bitch?” He gave Gage a punch on the shoulder.
Gage shrugged. “The older one was my favorite.”
Logan nodded. “She’s funny, right?”
The two of them started laughing about something involving a move she called “The Walrus.”
Once the conversation died down, Gage looked my way. “Does you hating Charli mean she’s free game again? Because any girl who has the balls to walk up to all of us and call you an asshole is officially interesting, in my book.”
Logan completely turned sideways to look for a long time at Gage, smirking.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I understand why you don’t seem interested in half the girls who try to hook up with you, now. Dude, if you want balls, you’ve been chasing after the wrong gender.”
“Yeah? Then why does your mom have the biggest pair I’ve ever seen?”
Logan sputtered, laughing. “Mom jokes? Has it really come to this?”
I left my stuff at the table and got up to go. When I was back in the courtyard, I spotted Charli sitting with two of her friends.
All three of them were looking my way, but the other two jerked their heads back to Charli as soon as they saw me notice them.
I made no hurry to go toward her. I was still debating my options, after all.
I knew my reputation. Cruel. Brutal. Heartless. Violent. Maybe most of it was true, but the part nobody understood was that I never targeted anyone. I didn’t go out of my way to make people miserable. I just punished the ones who were dumb enough to get in my way.
Until now, at least.
This wasn’t going to be incidental. It wasn’t going to end because she asked me nicely to stop or finally learned to stay out of my way. It was going to end when she was done paying for what she’d cost me.
So as much as I wanted to walk over to her table and sling words her way until I found the right combination to make her cry, I walked away, knowing the opportunity would present itself. It wasn’t going to be enough to simply insult her—to bump her shoulder in the hall and give her a few embarrassing moments to remember when she was older.
Just looking at her made the nerves in my body feel like they were on fire. Like the air around me was rippling with flames until my skin wanted to melt and slide from my bones. She drove me fucking insane, and I wasn’t going to stop until I’d taken everything from her, just like she had from me.
11
Charli
Before
* * *
I was hungry, but I didn’t want to go home. Not yet. I knew mom and dad would be mad if my dinner got cold, but Cassian and I were almost done with our fort.
It was the height of Summer, and we’d barely stepped inside all day. Our morning was spent looking for the spooky abandoned cabin in the woods behind our houses—the one Cassian had wanted to look for last night, but I’d been too scared. Once we gave up the search, we’d walked into town, where Cassian’s cousin had snuck us a free pair of milkshakes. We carried them up to the big, grassy hill overlooking the town.
Now I watched him struggle with the roll of duct tape he was using to tie a pair of sticks together. Cassian wasn’t like other boys our age. He seemed… more. More determined. More grown up. More everything.
Even now, there was a look on his face like he was taking the idea of building our silly little fort in the woods as seriously as if our lives depended on it.
He was seven. In a few more weeks, I would be, too. For the longest time, he had just been the boy
who lived next door. I’d see him at school, and he’d get on the bus right after me for school, but that was all. His dad was a firefighter, and we’d met when I saw the truck stopped outside their house one day. I wandered over and asked if I could see inside. Cassian offered to show me, and ever since, we’d been friends.
I guess it happened like that, sometimes. All it took was a little spark.
Lately, he wasn’t just the boy next door to me. I’d started noticing things about him. Like the way his eyes looked like a cloudy sky, even when the sun was in them. Or how he had nice hair with little waves in it that tickled my face when we’d sit down close beside each other to catch our breath after a game. Most of all, I’d noticed how I felt weird around him. Like I couldn’t act normal, even if I tried. I’d say silly things or be quiet when I had a million things to say. And I’d lay in my bed after a day of playing and run through everything we’d done, puzzling over whether I’d looked stupid to him or if he thought I was cool.
“You going to help, Charli?” He had the roll of tape dangling from his teeth as he tried to arrange a set of sticks into a square shape.
“Sorry.” I got off the grass and went over to him, helping steady the sticks while he wrapped the corner in tape.
Cassian stopped what he was doing, dropping the sticks he’d been working so hard to get perfect as he grabbed my wrist. He stared down at the scrapes on my palms. “What’s this?”
“Nothing.” I tried to pull my hands back, but he didn’t let go.
“Tell me, Charli.”
There it was again. Cassian could be really quiet and thoughtful most of the time, always wondering how things worked and if there were better ways to tackle problems. But the one problem he always seemed to worry most about was me.
I hesitated to tell him the truth, because I worried what he might do.
“Charli. What happened?”
“Jonah. Him and his friends were playing this stupid game yesterday. They hid off the road and tried to throw sticks into the spokes of people’s bikes. They got mine and I fell, but I’m fine. It’s just a couple scratches.”
Cassian didn’t say anything for a while. He picked up the sticks again, wrapping the tape around the edges with jerky, quick motions. “Which friends?”
“Bill and Zane.”
He nodded.
“What are you going to do?”
The look on Cassian’s face when he met my eyes was my little heart’s first experience with what it felt like to swoon. Maybe that was why I felt so strange around him. He wasn’t just my friend. He was more than that, wasn’t he? He was my protector.
My dark guardian.
He gave the tape a savage tug, then tested to make sure the sticks weren’t going to separate. “I’m going to make sure they never mess with you again.”
* * *
I knelt down in the grass behind the house and put three fingers on the ground the way Zoe had shown me. I let my butt lift up and found the sweet spot between tense and relaxed. I kept my eyes on the ground, counting in my head.
One…
Two…
I burst forward, pumping my arms as hard as I could. Every muscle in my body was screaming for a rest, but I pushed through it, even when it felt like I was going to puke. Once I reached the forty-yard marker, I tried to ease up from my sprint, but I ended up falling to the ground. I rolled to my back, feeling the sweat rolling off me despite the cold.
I stared up at the sky, remembering how many times Cassian and I had laid silently on hilltops or in the woods and just watched the clouds together.
How was that the same person as the cruel god who tormented me at school?
I blew out a breath and wiped the sweat from my eyes. After a while, I hobbled my sore ass inside and filled the bathtub with water and ice.
I’d joined the track team at Parker nearly three weeks ago now. We practiced four days a week, and I came home after practice every day to spend another hour or two working by myself in the backyard.
My body felt like it was in a constant state of shock. Like some body part was bound to fly off the hinges next time I tried to sprint.
I sank into the icy bath. I’d become about as used to ice baths as a person probably could. Reflexively, my chest contracted and squeezed a shaky breath out of my lungs as the water crushed in on me. But after a few seconds, the pulsing ache in my muscles numbed and the cramps subsided.
I dried off my hand and held up my phone to check my texts.
Zoe: Dead Ringers at eight tonight? Clint is going to be there.
She added a bunch of kissy emojis and hearts after that last part. I grinned, then tapped out a response letting her know I’d come.
Clint: Will I see you there?
I smiled even wider at his text. Clint had started coming to track practice after he finished with swim, which usually wrapped up about half an hour before us. I hadn’t quite believed it at first, but he very much seemed to be interested in me.
I wasn’t sure why, but some part of me kept fighting the idea of letting that be a reality—like I was too scared to accept something good and simple.
But coming back to Silver Falls had been good, hadn’t it? With the exception of Cassian, things were good. I had teammates, friends, and I was so busy that my dad felt like an afterthought. If I wasn’t home, he couldn’t harass me. And most nights, he was asleep by the time I finally came in to do homework or study.
Even Cassian had been eerily absent. For a few days, it felt like I was his complete focus. Now, though? Aside from a few chance encounters in the halls or a menacing look here and there, I had hardly seen him. The only reliable place I saw him was on the football field while I was at track practice. I’d hear the low, boyish whoops when he made a play. And I’d guiltily sneak a look when he stripped out of his pads and shirt to walk to the locker room with the rest of the guys at the end.
I’d also confirmed the scar on his back had not been my imagination. I thought about asking Zoe if she knew what had happened to him, but all of my friends seemed content to pretend my scar wasn’t even there. I worried bringing up Cassian’s would open the conversation to mine. As long as I could, I wanted to keep living in the fantasy world where my scar and my past never happened.
I’d just gotten finished drying my hair and getting dressed to go out when dad came home.
It was only a little past six, and he wasn’t due back for another couple hours from work. I tiptoed toward the front door and saw him swaying with a bottle in his hand. I clenched my teeth and went to him, helping him to the couch before he wound up falling and hurting himself. He reeked of beer and liquor, and by the way he was swaying, he wasn’t just a little drunk. Once I got him situated on the couch, I stepped back and got my first good look at him.
His face was streaked with sweat and shiny, despite the cold outside. He had on his uniform from the factory, but it was ruffled and covered in grime. I gently put my fingers on the bottle in his hand and waited, hoping he’d let it go without a fight.
His hard eyes met mine, but he finally sighed and sunk back into the cushions, letting me take the bottle. I carried it to the kitchen and poured it out.
“You need anything?” I asked as I put on my coat.
“Yeah.” His voice was little more than a sour croak. “A goddamn time machine.”
I let his words sink in. He didn’t have to say what he’d do with that power.
Erase me.
I slid my coat on and headed outside, wishing the cold could numb my mind like my muscles.
12
Cassian
I pulled up to Dead Ringers with Sophie riding shotgun in the Aston Martin. Her skirt was short enough that I didn’t need to guess what color panties she wore. I’d met her at a party a couple weeks back. She was pretty enough, with dirty blonde hair, sultry lips, and big, sparkling princess eyes.
She even had a little bit of personality, which was rare from the girls around here. She wanted to be a dolphin tra
iner, or something. She apparently spent her weekends interning at a local place where she was training seals.
Still, I found myself gritting my teeth when she squeezed my thigh and smiled before we got out of the car. She leaned in for a kiss, and I let her find my cheek.
She bit her lip at me, smiling. “You know. I think it’s actually really cool that you’re not all about sex. I mean, most guys like you? They would’ve definitely tried to hook up by now. But you’re different, aren’t you?”
I grinned, staring at the diner and scanning the windows for any sign of her. Of Charli.
“Yeah.” My voice was distant.
She kissed my earlobe, giving it a playful nibble.
I flinched away from her. She sat back, looking offended. “Is everything okay, Cass?”
Fucking pet names. When had that started?
“I’m just hungry.”
She put her hand on my leg again. “Well, we could share an appetizer before we go in…” Her hand slid up to my cock, which she squeezed through my jeans. “I could go for a hotdog.”
I frowned when I spotted her. Charli was sitting at a table with Zoe and Clint, that fucker from the swim team. I’d seen him doting on her after her track practices for the last couple weeks, but I hadn’t been sure of his intentions. Now he was sitting beside her with his arm around her like he owned her.
I stepped out of the car, only remembering I hadn’t answered Sophie when I felt her hand slip away. I leaned into the car. “I need some fries or something.”
She gave me a half smile. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
Maybe I should’ve felt bad for the way I was treating her. Except nobody told her to latch onto me. We’d made out a little at the party, talked some, and drank. I didn’t even remember what I’d said to convince her we were a couple, but she clearly thought we were.
Savage Love Page 5
