Just before it all got broken up by coaches, I recognized the face of the guy he was smashing.
Hugh. The same asshole from the party at the log mansion.
Hugh and Cassian were still talking to each other as their teams and coaches pulled them away. Cassian’s lip was bloody, and Hugh had a cut on his forehead leaking blood into his eye.
I couldn’t help thinking back to the boy he’d been. The signs had been there, hadn’t they? The way he was so ready to fight anyone he thought was messing with me, like the boys who had made me fall off my bike. Except back then he’d fought to protect. Now… now he was so full of rage that he fought to fight. There was nothing noble about it.
Unless his explosion on the field was about the party.
I frowned, heart still pounding as they finally got the players back under control on the field.
Was that all because of me? It should’ve only made me feel disgusted, but there was a little twinge of excitement, only because it would mean the old Cassian wasn’t completely gone.
After the game, Zoe caught up with me and tried to help me find a ride home. Stupidly, I told her it was okay—that I’d figure it out.
As soon as she was gone, I realized I should’ve accepted her help. I didn’t recognize most of the faces making their way into the parking lot, and I didn’t know anyone well enough to text and ask.
I paced in circles, trying to decide what to do until nearly everyone had left. Everyone except the football team.
I saw the Parker team come filing out of Calvary High after they’d showered and changed. Most of the team hopped on a charter bus, but a few seemed to be heading to their own cars.
Tristan Blackwood picked up Kennedy in his arms and planted a kiss on the top of her head. She’d been waiting on the curb for him, and he carried her as she laughed and swatted at him. He tucked her into the passenger seat of an expensive looking sports car, then yelled something vulgar to Logan, who was tossing a bag of equipment into the back of his beat-up truck.
I realized I was standing by a well-lit tree in the parking lot, staring like a creeper. I tried to pretend I was looking at my phone, but Cassian was already walking toward me.
Shit.
I turned and started walking the other way. I had no idea where I was going, or what I thought I could pretend to be doing but running from him was a natural instinct.
“Need a ride, Scarface?” Cassian’s deep voice boomed from behind me.
I stopped, swallowed, then looked at my phone. “I have a friend coming to get me.”
“Yeah? Then you won’t mind if I wait with you until they get here, will you?”
I stiffened, following his movements like a deer might follow a huge wolf as it loped into a clearing. “Actually, I would mind.”
Making no sign that he heard me or cared, Cassian slung his bag off his powerful shoulder and let it thump to the ground. He patted the grass next to him and gestured for me to sit. He had an irritated patch of red under his eye and a vertical slit of blood on his lower lip from his scuffle on the field.
“I’ll stand, thanks.”
He chuckled. “How long do you plan to pretend, exactly?”
“That I can be around you without vomiting? Keep following me and we’ll probably find out.”
“I’ll give you credit for one thing. You’ve got backbone.”
“Is it that shocking to you? That people stand up to you when you’re vile?”
“Vile,” he said the word like he was tasting it, rolling it around his mouth to see how he liked it. “Yes, actually. It is. They usually try to suck my cock, no matter what ‘vile’ shit comes out of my mouth.”
“Charming. And does saying stuff like that usually impress people?”
“You mean you’re not impressed yet?” He rolled his head to the side and took me in with a gaze that dared me to look away. “Give me thirty minutes alone with you and I’m pretty sure I could change that.”
I folded my arms and fought the need to press my thighs together. There was no denying what my body wanted. It was ready to swallow up every last dirty promise he let past those full lips. I needed to change the subject. I could feel the momentum of him, like he was gaining speed and I was rapidly losing control. A few more seconds of talk like that, and God only knew what I’d wind up doing and regretting.
I moved and sat beside him, only to show him I wasn’t afraid. I could trust myself within arm’s reach, and I wasn’t going to keep cowering. As soon as I sat, I felt suddenly much less sure. Talk, Charli. Use your words. “So which is it? You want to ruin my life, or you want to sleep with me?” Well, shit. That wasn’t the way I intended to use my words.
Cassian cocked a dark eyebrow. “At first? I only wanted to make you regret coming back here.” He gave a shrug, as if what he was about to say wasn’t really of consequence. “But then I looked in the mirror. What better way to fuck up someone’s life then letting them fall for me?”
I pulled my head back slightly. I hadn’t expected that. If my ears weren’t playing tricks, it sounded like a rare moment of vulnerability. But no. Hell no. I wasn’t about to start feeling sorry for him. “If your plan is to make me fall for you, then you’d better go back to the drawing board. I might as well toss my heart in a blender.”
He didn’t say anything for a full minute, which gave me an unfortunate amount of time to think about how close we were.
How alone we were.
Sitting here like this with Clint would’ve made me feel warm, like fireflies were swirling around me. But being with Cassian was more like fire. It screamed “danger” as surely as if I was holding my palm over an open flame.
Cassian scrunched up his forehead. “What was that thing you used to say? I was your Queen’s Guard? You always wanted to play that stupid game. You’d hand me a stick and sit on a tree stump, acting like the world was out to get you. But as long as I had my stick, I could keep them back, right?”
Embarrassment crept up my neck and cheeks in hot waves. I couldn’t tell if he was making fun of me. But I figured subtle mockery was better than open hostility and decided to play along. “It was almost as dumb as when you’d play the one where you had to hug me to wake me up from ‘eternal slumber.’”
I had to be imagining it, but I thought I saw a shade of red staining his cheeks, too. “You remember that, huh?”
I smirked. “I remember we used to be friends. Yeah. And when I came back, you were the one thing about Silver Falls I was most excited to see again. Imagine my disappointment when I found out what you’d become.”
His big body rocked with a single, short laugh. “The beast of Silver Falls, huh?”
“I was thinking demon, but yeah.”
“You know, I almost got the nerve to kiss you when we played that game, once. I had a feeling you wouldn’t stop me. That you’d like it.”
For some reason, my heart was pounding. “I would’ve stopped you.”
“I think you’ve always wanted me to kiss you. I think even right now. Even when you probably hate me so much it hurts… I think you’d still let me kiss you, Charli.”
Charli. I swallowed, feeling like my mouth was suddenly dry to hear him say my name like that. He was suffocating me with his eyes, too. They were like pools of cool, icy water on a blistering hot day, practically begging me to close my eyes and dive in.
“I wouldn’t,” I said quietly.
“Then tell me to stop.”
His mouth was inches from mine, moving closer.
I searched for the words but found nothing.
My lips parted and my head tilted up.
And then we kissed. It was like being back in the burning building. Like my skin was too hot and the air was shimmering from the heat.
His mouth was warm velvet against me, his tongue a wet relief as it found mine.
Cassian’s hands engulfed me, roaming my back and shoulders and my face like he had every right to touch me there.
Moment by momen
t, I felt the resistance rising up in me.
Fight back.
Don’t let him win.
Don’t let it be this easy for him.
“Cassian,” I breathed between kisses.
He cupped my chin between his thumb and his forefinger, eyes still hungry with lust. “Say it.”
I pressed my teeth together. Stop. Stop making me want this. Stop making me hate myself for wanting you. I looked down.
Cassian’s grin was victorious as he leaned in and planted one last kiss on my mouth.
Once it was done, he stood and fished his keys from his pocket. He twirled them once on his forefinger and then caught them with a metallic clink. “Come on. Let’s get back home.”
I followed him to the car, not knowing how I was supposed to feel. My breaths were coming in quick, rapid bursts. My head still swam with a light, fuzzy warmth, and the memory of his lips burned against mine.
He turned and caught the look on my face. “I guess I was wrong. Impressing you didn’t take thirty minutes. More like thirty seconds.”
I wished I could think straight enough to reply to that, but all I did was get in the car and hang my head.
23
Cassian
I chewed on a bagel as I headed out to the backyard. It was Saturday morning, and it was still dark.
Charli was wearing a pair of dark blue leggings and a cropped white shirt. She had her hands on her hips as she walked in a slow circle, trying to catch her breath.
I took another bite of my bagel, considering her. “Do you do this every morning?”
She shot me an annoyed look but said nothing. She crouched down and pushed off in a short sprint. I took the time to notice how her obsession with track was doing wonders for her body. There were new curves in her thighs and her already impressive ass was looking spectacular.
She looked healthy.
Vibrant.
I waited a few more minutes, happy to watch while I finished my bagel.
“You remember we’re supposed to be starting on that house today?” I asked.
Charli slumped down and sat in one of the patio chairs while she chugged some water. My eyes went to her slender neck, where rivulets of sweat slid down pale skin, disappearing beneath the collar of her shirt. I found myself imagining the way the droplets probably curved down her breasts and soaked her sports bra, too.
Damn. One kiss and I was already getting in deep, wasn’t I? I’d even had a dream about Charli last night—where I’d tied her hands over her head and taken her from behind until she begged me for more. Then I stopped just before she came and told her she should’ve never believed I’d care about her. Except, in the dream, I hadn’t wanted to stop. I’d only done it because it felt like feeling anything except hatred for her was a betrayal to my dad.
“I remembered.” She set her water down and got back up.
“Hey.” I tossed the last bite of my bagel at her ass to get her attention.
She shot me a suffering look.
“Did you break things off with Clit?”
“Clint? And yes. I did.”
I nodded. “Good. I knew you were smart.”
I started back inside, but before I got through the sliding door, I felt two small hands shove me from behind.
I stumbled forward and my toe caught on the lip of the floor leading inside. I ended up skidding down to my knees. When I got back to my feet, she was staring me down with all the ferocity of an angry squirrel facing off with a wolf.
“You pushed me.” There was a dry note of incredulity in my voice.
“How can you be so cold?” She shoved my chest again, but I didn’t budge this time. “You got what you wanted. You’re always going to get what you want, aren’t you? I broke things off with Clint. I’m forced to live in your house, of all places. My personal life is a mess.”
“And now you have feelings for me.”
“What?” Charli sputtered, her mouth hanging in open disbelief. “You’re seriously unbelievable.”
Her lips looked so red and tempting. Her cheeks were still flushed with exertion and sweat was dripping from her chin. She looked alive and strong. That was it, wasn’t it? Charli looked strong as hell, no matter how much I threw at her. I couldn’t stand to see her thrive, because I’d let myself break on the inside. And why should she get to survive unscathed?
I lifted her hair, exposing the scar on her forehead she kept hidden so well. “You feel sorry for yourself because of this?” I asked.
She tried to slap my hand away, but I didn’t let her. I gripped the back of her neck, holding her there so I could take in every swollen, too-white line of scar tissue. “You think this is a heavy burden to bear?”
The patio door opened. I realized I was holding Charli close while she squirmed, and how I was practically drunk from the closeness of her body. I wanted another taste of her, and it was stripping control from me.
“Cassian? What are you two—” Walter’s nasally, obnoxious voice sounded so weak.
I let go of Charli, who took a big step back and glared at me before shoving past me and heading inside.
I was left alone with Walter, who thrust his hands in his pockets and smirked. “Can’t force ‘em to love you, Champ.” As if he wasn’t sure he’d been obnoxious enough, he shot me a wrinkly wink, too.
I blinked. There were a few things I could say or do—including lifting his scrawny ass over my head and throwing him through the windows. Instead, I went inside without a word.
I knew one thing: I wasn’t dragging my ass out to build a house for community service hours today. Charli could handle that herself.
24
Charli
Cassian wanted to believe his own story. He wanted to think I’d fallen for him, or that I was some helpless, weak-minded thing who couldn’t fight against instinct.
So I’d made a point of avoiding him ever since our backyard encounter a few weeks back.
We still crossed paths on our way out of the house at times, or when his mom tried to play peacemaker and forced us to have dinner as “one big family.” After the bitingly uncomfortable silences, even she seemed to finally be getting the hint that he and I hated each other.
Breaking things off with Clint had cut me off from the majority of my social group, too. It was just like Cassian had wanted.
Now I was mostly alone, except for when Zoe went out of her way to spend time with me or when I ate with her and Marne at school. I spent most of my free time studying, training, or getting hours at the build site. I was surprised Cassian hadn’t taken advantage of his threat to show up at the site with Sophie, but I also wasn’t keeping tabs on him. For all I knew, he had been trying to catch me here and failing. Either way, he’d missed his chance, because once I finished up tonight, I’d have my ten hours completed.
Most days, there were a few adults around the site to help guide me along, but the current stage of the build was something even I could handle on my own. I’d spent the last hour checking the brackets used to hold wood joints together. Basically, I just needed to count the nails and be sure each one had enough.
I set the box of nails I’d been carrying on a board overhead when I heard footsteps approaching.
I saw Hugh and Marcus heading toward the build site with their hands in their pockets. Ominous air seemed to wash off them in waves, and I made a split-second decision between running or holding my ground.
I decided if I ran, they’d chase me. I’d been practicing my sprinting technique, but it didn’t mean I’d have the endurance to outpace two athletes long enough to get back to Cassian’s house.
Hugh stepped inside the framing and looked around, like he and Marcus just happened to be passing through. “I didn’t take you for a construction worker.”
Play nice. Just get them to leave without any trouble. “It’s for community service hours, actually. I’m not doing much of the building. More like grunt work—carrying stuff to and from trucks or checking that nails didn’t miss t
he boards.”
Hugh was still looking around, even though his body language said he had no interest in what he was looking at. Marcus was also standing behind him in a way that seemed too tense, like he was ready to chase me if I ran.
I took a step back from the boys, who were just outside my arm’s reach now. My back bumped into a wood beam, giving me nowhere else to go unless I wanted to start ducking through the half-finished walls. “Cassian should actually be coming back in a minute or two. He just had to go to the store to get an extension cord.”
Marcus raised his eyebrows and looked around in a slow circle. “Good. We were hoping to talk to your little boyfriend.”
“Why?” I wasn’t sure I particularly cared but talking was better than the alternatives.
Hugh stopped walking toward me when he was close enough that I could’ve counted his eyelashes. “Someone slashed my tires a few days after the game where I plowed his ass into the drink table. I wasn’t sure it was Cassian. But when he walked up to me at a party a couple days ago and asked if I wanted a coupon for a discount tire place…”
I found myself stifling a laugh.
“That’s funny to you?” Hugh pressed my shoulder with his index finger, which made me bump against the frame behind me.
“No,” I said. “But it is confusing that you’re here and picking on me when it sounds like Cassian is your problem.”
“Cassian has a soft spot for you. And me? I heard what Cassian told me at the party was bullshit. You haven’t slept with anyone at Parker. Hell, my money is on the fact that you’re a virgin. I could help you with that, if you—”
I tried to take a quick step backwards through the wall, but Hugh saw this coming. He gripped my shirt and pulled me back, pressing me against the wooden beam again. But this time, the force of it shook the framing. The heavy box of nails I’d set above me rattled, and the next thing I knew I was seeing white.
Hugh was standing over me with Marcus. All the cruel confidence they’d worn moments ago—or was it minutes—was gone. The box of nails was on the ground beside my head.
Savage Love Page 10
