by N. R. Larry
So very desperately. “What if things are awkward the next day?”
“They won’t be. I promise.”
I didn’t know how she could make a promise like that. I shook my head.
“Okay. I won’t ask again.” Jenna looked as dejected as I felt.
And I believed her, that this chance was about to go away forever. Panic surged inside, overriding reason. I couldn’t lose this opportunity. “All right. I’m in.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
“Oh my God, yay.” Jenna gave me a one-armed hug that lit every nerve ending on fire, and brushed her lips over mine.
The spark that flickered inside me was new. And so achingly good.
“You drive us back to our place,” she said. “I’ll text Eric and tell him to give us a little time, then meet us at home.”
Right. We were doing this. I was torn between terror and want. It took any focus I didn’t have on the road to keep from squirming as I drove.
Never in my life had I felt more anxious climbing the steps to Jenna and Eric’s second floor apartment. Jenna stalled in the living room and faced me. “We’re really doing this.”
“Yes.” Now that I’d agreed, I couldn’t imagine turning away. If I was celebrating the big three-oh, might as well go all-in. I leaned in, closing the last few inches between us, and pressed my lips to hers.
I wasn’t inexperienced with women or men, but the sparks that flew when we kissed lit up my soul like nothing ever had. She leaned into me, drawing the moment out, working our tongues together in a complicated tango as our sandwiched tight enough to all but become one.
We were both breathless when we broke apart. The way she caught her bottom lip between her teeth in an impish smile did wicked things to my imagination.
“I have to save you for Eric.” Jenna’s tone was shyness laced with longing.
“Right.” But I could have both of them, couldn’t I? Just for tonight?
She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to their bedroom. “Rough or sweet?” she asked as we stopped at the foot of the bed. A few years ago, they’d started dabbling in kink.
Was it hot in here or was it just every fucking thing about this moment? “I get a choice?” I’d played a little, but mostly with being handcuffed and a little light spanking. I had a hard time finding partners I trusted enough to do too much.
“Of course.”
“Rough.” All in, of course.
She moved behind me and dragged my zipper down. “I knew you’d say that. Next one might not be so easy. No condom okay? We’re both clean.”
Not for anyone else. But I trusted them. “Same. No condom is okay.”
“And I hoped you’d say that.” Jenna stepped in front of me to push the garment to the floor. The fabric pooled around my feet, but I was completely focused on the way she trailed her gaze over me. Had we seen each other naked before? Countless times.
This felt so different, though. Could I come just from anticipation, because I swore I was about to.
The way Jenna placed her hands on my stomach was tentative at first, but as she glided up to cup my breasts, her touch became more confident. I moaned at the whisper of her thumbs across my nipples, and she swallowed the sound in another deep kiss.
She pulled away, hooked her thumbs in the elastic of my panties, and slid them down my legs.
The insides of my thighs were going to be coated in seconds.
“Three more things.” Jenna prompted me to step out of my clothes, and set them aside on a nearby chair. “Shoes. Cuffs. Blindfold.”
I didn’t expect I needed magical best sex ever shoes at this point, but I’d look sexy as fuck in them, and they added to the moment. She placed them by my feet, and I stepped in, rising a few inches in height.
Jenna slipped soft bracers on my wrists and attached them to a bar above my head, then slipped a blindfold over my eyes.
“Don’t move.” Her whisper brushed my ear.
And then everything fell away. Her touch. Her voice. The warmth of her body.
Standing in the middle of someone else’s bedroom, mostly helpless, was a fresh and delicious kind of agony. I strained my ears for any sound. Was the light creak Jenna sitting in a chair? Would I hear Eric’s footsteps on the stairs?
“Oh, fuck.” Eric’s groan came from behind me.
Goosebumps raced up my arms and down my legs.
He glided his hand over my ass, and I jumped in surprise. When did he learn to walk so quietly?
He slipped his fingers between my legs, lightly stroking my slick skin. “Jenna got you started. So sweet.”
“Like sugar.” My voice was breathier than I expected.
His touch fell away and I heard the sharp snick of a belt being yanked from loops. “If it gets to be too much, stop me.”
My heart jammed in my throat. “Okay.”
The first thwap of leather across my ass drew a loud groan from me, and left a sharp sting along my skin.
“You good?” Eric asked.
I was doing fucking incredible. “I’m good.”
The second slap of the belt felt just as intense. A sharp pain that reverberated through my body, and left me gasping with desire.
By number five, the agony wasn’t as intense, but the endorphins flooded me like the start of the best high. By ten, my ass and upper thighs were a single sheet of tingly numb pain that ached and tantalized.
I was going to feel this in the morning, and I was glad. This was a moment I wanted seared in my mind forever.
Eric glided his palm over my skin again, but it felt completely different this time. The touch was both too much on tender flesh, and not enough to penetrate the throb.
“Still good?” His lips vibrated against my skin as he kissed along my shoulder and then my neck. He moved his hands to glide up my stomach and pull me back into him.
I nodded and searched for my voice. “So good.”
His touch fell away, like Jenna’s had earlier. Definitely my least favorite part of the night. But this time I hear the faint rustle of fabric.
Eric loosely gripped my chin. In these shoes I could look him in the eye, if I could see. He pressed into me, and bare flesh met bare flesh, his erection digging into my stomach.
“I’ve always wanted to kiss you.” His breath was hot against my mouth.
We’d kissed before, obviously, but nothing romantic. “Always is a long time.”
“A painfully long time. Especially when you’re waiting and wanting.” Gravel ran though his words.
His lips found mine, hungry and hard, devouring my gasp. This was intoxicating, leaving me drunk on top of the high of pain and pleasure.
Jenna’s moan reached my ears. I hoped she was enjoying this as much as I was. Each nibble on my lips was a new spark of desire. Eric’s hard body forcing mine to mold against him was a blanket of sharp need.
“I’ve wanted to fuck you for almost as long,” he murmured against my mouth.
As long as always? “Me too.” I was too lost in pleasure to filter the few thoughts I could grasp.
The tension on my arms vanished and he lowered them to my sides. He kneaded lightly along my shoulders, following with more kisses, easing away the stiffness of being bound.
He guided me carefully to the bed, not disturbing the blindfold or the shoes.
The soft fabric was cool against my tender flesh as I lay on my back in the middle of the mattress. The weight on the bed shifted twice, with Eric between my legs and Jenna kneeling next to me.
Jenna found my mouth again, any hesitation from earlier gone. These kisses were as delicious and hungry as Eric’s, but completely different. As I slid further into a bubble of bliss, Eric glided his cock along my skin.
I arched into his penetration, whimpering at the sensation of being stretched and filled.
Jenna took my wrist and guided, until my fingers brushed the wet slickness of her pussy. I teased near her opening. Fuck her moans were musical.
As
I teased and stroked her, she moved to flick her tongue across one of my nipples before drawing into her mouth to suck.
Eric thrust inside me, and I matched the slow, steady rhythm as I dipped my fingers inside Jenna. It was impossible to focus on any one feeling, so I let them all encase me.
Jenna ground against my hand. I knew that desperation. Recognized those shorts gasps. I slipped my touch out and higher, to finger her clit. I wanted to hear her come. Wanted to know what kind of sounds she made.
The tiny breathless mewls as she pushed harder into my touch, were a beautiful chorus. I pressed harder, stroking her until her cries met my ears and she shuddered away from my touch.
Eric’s pace increased, and he slammed against and inside me, hitting that perfect spot.
Jenna wrapped her lips around my nipple again, sucking and nibbling and teasing until the sensation was both too much and not nearly enough and I was pressing into her mouth for more. When she moved her fingers between my legs, teasing my clit, she flicked a switch, releasing the build-up of anticipation.
Orgasm swept in without warning, crashing around me as Jenna fingered me and Eric fucked me.
I was lost in all of it. Floating in a cloud of bliss and rainbows. Barely aware of the change in Eric’s grunts, though I felt the spike of intensity. And then the world paused.
Hands rested on either side of my head, and Eric crashed his mouth down on mine. “Happy birthday to us.” His voice was raw.
I smiled into the kiss. “Happy birthday to us.”
The blindfold came off, as did the bracers on my wrists, and they were attentively sweet cleaning me and them up. Eric making sure the marks on my backside were take care of, and Jenna trailing her fingers through my hair.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
Jenna curled up against me and Eric pressed into my back.
This was amazing. I never wanted to leave.
I’d have to eventually. Sooner rather than later. This was Jenna and Eric’s apartment, not mine. Why did reality have to crash in now? Already.
“You’re staying.” Jenna wasn’t asking, despite her soft, sweet tone.
I was. I shouldn’t, but I also couldn’t make myself leave. “Think I can sleep with the shoes on?”
“Only one way to find out.” Eric trailed his lips up my neck.
I wouldn’t focus on what came next. Not tonight. Instead I’d burn these memories into permanence while they were still fresh. I’d seal them up so I had them forever, and in the morning we’d all be friends again.
Chapter 3
I woke up when my foot jerk-kicked, slipping on the sheets and startling me. The clock on the nightstand said it was one in the morning. That answered the how long can I sleep in the shoes question, since one lay a few feet away on the floor now.
“You okay?” Sleep lined Jenna’s voice.
She looked so adorable, one cheek flushed pink from her pillow and hair falling across her face.
I ached to reach out and brush a few strands of hair aside. To touch her.
“I’m good. Go back to sleep.” Good job, me. My answer sounded believable.
“’Kay.”
I listened until her breathing became slow and even again, then carefully extracted myself from their bed. Whatever spell wrapped around us earlier—the shoes or intensely incredible physical connection—was gone.
I slipped the other red heel off, dressed as quietly as I could, and headed back to my own place.
It took hours for me to fall back asleep, and when I finally did, my dreams were haunted with terrifying delicious visions of reliving those moments again and again with Eric and Jenna.
When I woke up again, the shoes had been replaced with flats of the same color, but far more like me. They didn’t look as bright and vibrant in this light. Was that because the magic wasn’t there, or because my outlook had shifted?
I had a text from Jenna and another from Eric waiting for me.
Jenna’s said you left without saying goodbye.
Eric’s was plans tonight?
I sent them both back a version of sorry. I couldn’t do more. Not yet. I needed a little more time to stuff my feelings back into a tiny box, and ignore the screaming in my skull that insisted once wasn’t enough.
This wouldn’t ruin our friendship. I wouldn’t vanish for another year, or longer. I just needed a few days.
One day bled into another, and another, until I was a few weeks into ignored calls and terse replies to their texts.
If the message said talk to me, please, I responded with a simple I’m fine, just busy.
They wouldn’t buy that. I didn’t buy it.
But what else was I supposed to do? I missed my best friends terribly, but I couldn’t convince myself to let go of that night of sex.
I was sitting on my couch after work one night, rehashing the same dilemma I’d been stuck on since that night, when the bell rang.
It was late, and I didn’t get a lot of company, but people frequently mistook my apartment for my neighbor’s, thanks to faulty GPS instructions.
When I looked through the peephole, my heart flipped and dance and collapsed in on itself all at once. Jenna and Eric stood outside.
Fuck. I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t ignore them. What was I going to do? Them being here didn’t give me any more answers than I already had.
“We know you’re home,” Eric called, and pounded on the door. “Your car is in the parking lot.”
“Please don’t ignore us anymore. This is killing me.” Jenna’s plea broke my heart and could’ve come from my own mouth.
I opened the door and stepped aside, already reaching for some sort of excuse or response, or greeting. Anything.
Eric pressed a finger to my lips. “Hear us out before you say anything.”
“Please,” Jenna added.
I nodded, not having the right words to respond anyway.
They each took one of my hands, led me back to the couch, and sat on either side of me, sandwiching me in.
“We’ve been talking…” Jenna dragged out the words.
“We wanted to do so with all three of us, but someone isn’t returning our calls.” Eric’s tone was sadness rather than accusation.
I shrugged. “Sorry.”
Jenna frowned. “So you’ve said. A billion times. You just haven’t said much else.”
“We get it. We really do.” Eric was sympathetic.
Something inside snapped—the carefully constructed damn I built years ago, after they got married. “I don’t think you do. It was always supposed to be all of us. Together. Equal. I won’t apologize for leaving to do my internship, and I don’t want you to apologize for falling in love with each other, but we’re not that trio anymore. And I was okay with that. Not great with it, because fuck I want what the two of you have. But I’m not part of that. And what happened was a mistake. It was selfish for you to ask. It was selfish for me to accept. And there’s no undoing that.”
Jenna’s brows knit together tighter. They were almost one, at this point. “Do you really believe that?”
“Yes.” I could feel her hurt. But that didn’t diminish mine.
“That it was a mistake.” Eric repeated.
I scrubbed my face. No. “Yes.”
“Fair. Now I get to talk.” He scooted forward on the cushion, knees pressed to mine, and held my gaze. “We did fall in love when you left for your internship. Or rather, we admitted it. And I don’t know how much longer it would’ve taken if you’d been here.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and focused on that pain rather than the ache his words left.
“But”—he squeezed my hand—“it’s not because we don’t love you, and it’s not because you’re not an equal part of us. We’ve been ignoring it for a long time, like you’ve probably been trying to do.”
“When I found the shoes, when the saleswoman told me the story, all I could think about was you.” Jenna’s sincerity threatened to crush me. “My one nigh
t of fantasy sex doesn’t exist without you in it.”
I didn’t want to hear that. It didn’t make the situation any better. So why were the cracks in my heart slowly sealing?
She sighed. “I should’ve told you that up front, but part of me was terrified. What if you really had moved on? Or just as bad, were never as attracted to me—to us? So I convinced myself one night was enough.”
“Except it wasn’t,” Eric added.
“You couldn’t have said all of this up front?” I wanted—needed—for this to be real. But after so long, it was another fantasy.
Jenna moved as well, to kneel in front of me, to look me in the eye. “As well as you could’ve. At any point. Are you blocking us out because you can’t have more, or because you didn’t want what happened? You can’t get mad at me for not saying anything if you’re not either.”
“But I’m not the one who’s married to one of you.” I understood her point. I was seconds from caving. It couldn’t possible be so simple after all this time. All this longing and waiting.
“But we’re best friends,” Eric said. “Our friendship was always supposed to come first.”
“Exactly.” I couldn’t have said it better. “And then it didn’t.”
Eric took my hand in his. “You’re right. There were some missteps. We can’t change decisions we already made, but I—we—want to steer this ship in a new direction. No more hedging about this, or skirting the point. I love you, Kayla. As much as I love Jenna. I hate that you’re not a closer part of us. I want you in my life more. More intimately. More lovingly. I just want more of you.”
My heart soared at the words. How could it be this easy? But it hadn’t been. We’d waded through years of denial to get here.
“I love you too, Kayla,” Jenna said. “As more than just BFFs forever. The last couple of weeks have been hell without you around. I was terrified I’d lost you. I love you. I need you in my life. Please don’t do anything like that again.”
“I love both of you, too.” It felt so good to say the words, like a heavy weight being cast off, and wings lifting me up instead. “Equally, differently, and desperately. I hated being on the edges of what you had. I want to be a part of it.”
