by Iris Morland
The door chime rang, signaling a customer. After I told Anna goodbye, I forced my attention away from our conversation, but it was nearly impossible.
Jacob, in love with me? It was such an extraordinary idea that the remote thought that it could be true overwhelmed me. I’d gotten so used to the idea that he’d never want me. But he did want me, didn’t he? At least physically. And he seemed to care about my well-being.
Love, though? That seemed like a stretch to me, yet I couldn’t stop the excitement bubbling up inside me.
Maybe Anna was right. Maybe he was falling in love with me.
I was so preoccupied that I didn’t hear my next customer come in while I was trimming fresh-cut tulips in the back.
“Dani? You here?” It was Mari, thank God.
“Back here!”
I wanted to ask Mari’s advice. She knew how men worked. If she thought along the same lines as Anna, then there was a good chance Jacob did love me. I let out a little squeal and ended up cutting one of the tulip stems way too short.
“I’m glad you’re here—” I was saying, only to stop when I saw my sister’s face. “What is it?”
I’d never seen Mari like this: without makeup, her hair in a messy ponytail, her eyes bloodshot and her face red. She was even wearing torn-up sweats and an old t-shirt that had paint splatters on it. I didn’t even know my sister owned sweats.
Her bottom lip quivered. Then to my utter amazement, she burst into noisy sobs.
I acted quickly: after putting up the CLOSED sign and locking the front door, I returned to the back and had Mari sit down. We didn’t have tissues back here, but we at least had a roll of paper towels.
“Tell me what happened,” I said. “It isn’t Mom or Dad, is it?”
Mari ripped off a paper towel and blew her nose into it so loudly that I would’ve laughed if she weren’t so miserable. “No, no. They’re fine.” She took another towel and wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming. “It’s David.”
“Is he okay? Did something happen?”
Mari started crying so hard that she couldn’t speak. Worry assailed me. Had David wrecked his brand-new Prius and was now clinging to life? But, no, Mari wouldn’t be here if he were in the hospital. She would’ve called me.
After a few more hiccups and sobs, Mari said in gasps, “David. Cheated. On. Me.”
I was almost sure I’d misunderstood her. David had cheated on her? Boring, stick-in-the-mud, IRAs-are-so-exciting David? I couldn’t believe it because what woman would throw herself at a guy like him? Nobody was that desperate.
Then again, Mari loved him. Or had loved him, based on the anger suffusing her face right now. He must’ve had some qualities that had attracted her to him.
“Are you sure he’s cheating on you?” I said. “Have you talked to him? Maybe it’s a misunderstanding.”
“I saw him fucking another woman,” spat Mari. “I think that’s more than enough proof.” She wiped at her eyes, rage flashing across her face. “We bought those stupid buttons, you know? Because he didn’t like it when I didn’t want to have sex. But lately, he hadn’t been pressing his at all. I knew something was up. I thought maybe he was bored, so I got new lingerie and went over to his apartment.”
Mari swallowed hard. “I heard a noise from his bedroom, but it never occurred to me he’d be cheating on me. I thought he was moving furniture around.” She barked out a laugh. “I came inside his room, and some woman was on her knees on his bed as he fucked her from behind. And he’d always told me he didn’t like doggy style.”
It was such an unsettling image that I had to sit down. “Then what happened?”
“Basically lots of shouting, the woman demanding to know who I was. Apparently, David had neglected to tell her he was engaged. He ran after me, begging me to forgive him.” She held up her left hand. “I threw his ring in his face and told him to go fuck himself.”
The anger diffused, replaced with grief. The tears started up again. “What did I do wrong?” she whispered. “I thought we were going to be so happy. We’d just talked about whether or not we wanted a vegan option at our wedding.”
I wrapped my arms around my sister as she started crying again. This time, her sobs were whimpers, and it broke my heart. I might not have liked David, but I’d wanted to for Mari’s sake. Now I just wanted to find him and run him over with my car very slowly.
Mari finally pulled away and wiped at her face with one of the many paper towels she’d torn off the roll. “What am I going to do? We already sent out the wedding invitations. The venue is booked, my dress is ordered.” She paled. “We’re going to have to tell two hundred people that the wedding is off.”
“Don’t think about that right now. Besides, maybe you and David will make up,” I said, even though I wasn’t at all convinced he could make it up to my sister.
Mari scowled. “There’s nothing he could say that would make me forgive him. He keeps calling me and leaving me voicemails, saying how sorry he is.”
She showed me her phone, which had so many message notifications that you had to scroll for a while to see them all. “At least he feels bad?” I said.
“He’s not going to get a cookie for feeling guilty that he got caught.” Mari wrapped her arms around her middle, tears leaking from her eyes, but she brushed them away. “Tell me something good. I don’t want to keep thinking about this. My head hurts from crying so much.”
I’d wanted to tell her about me and Jacob, but that seemed rather cruel, given the circumstances. How could I tell her about how happy I was with Jacob when her fiancé had betrayed her like this? It would just be rubbing it in her face.
“I finished my design for the competition,” I supplied.
“That’s great. Tell me about it.”
I did, in way too much detail, but I knew that Mari just needed me to talk. I told her about how I’d gone back and forth on what I wanted to do, how I’d decided to do something that wasn’t the standard kind of arrangement that you’d see in a competition like this. She asked questions, but I could tell she was far away.
I realized this was the first time in recent memory that Mari had ever come to me with a problem. She’d always seemed like she had her life together, even when we’d been kids. She was beautiful, talented, successful. She had who we thought was a great fiancé. She was going to get married and live in a nice house with her nice husband and have nice children while she worked at her nice job.
But I knew now that that niceness had been a facade. I had a hard time imagining that this had been the first indication that there was trouble brewing in her relationship with David. I’d been too self-centered to pry deeper, though. I’d assumed everything was perfect with her because I felt so imperfect in comparison.
“Did you show Jacob your design?” said Mari.
I had returned to trimming tulips, and I almost cut another one in half at her remark. “What?”
“Oh, come on. There aren’t any secrets in this neighborhood. Edith saw Jacob coming out of your apartment this morning.” Mari smiled wryly. “I’m going to assume he wasn’t over there playing Yahtzee with you.”
“Close. Monopoly.”
Mari threw a tulip at my head. “Were you seriously not going to tell me about you two?” Hurt sounded in her voice. “Or did you just not want to tell me?”
I stared at her in surprise. “Of course I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t going to rub it in your face, either, after what you just told me. That seems kind of heartless.”
“I’d rather hear good news than wallow in my bad news.”
I was still wary of saying too much that would make Mari feel badly, but I told her everything I felt comfortable sharing.
“Anna thinks he’s in love with me,” I ended. “I told her that she’s crazy.”
Mari had propped her chin on her hand. “He might be, though. Men don’t do things like that for women they just consider friends with benefits.”
My heart started pou
nding hard. “What should I do?”
“Ask him. Be honest.” She smiled, although I could see sadness around the edges. “Tell him how you feel, even if it rocks the boat. It feels like the hardest thing ever, but not saying anything will only make things worse in the long run.”
We both jumped when someone knocked on the front door. Had an hour really passed already?
After telling Mari goodbye and hugging her, I ended up being busy with customers the rest of the afternoon. But even as I gave suggestions for arrangement styles and types of bouquets and corsages, I couldn’t help but wonder if this David thing had been a sign from the universe.
Did I risk everything and tell Jacob that I loved him? Or did I keep it to myself, because even seemingly solid relationships like Mari and David’s could come crashing down at any time, let alone whatever it was Jacob and I were doing?
All I knew right then was that, no matter which choice I made, there was a good chance heartbreak would be the result.
Chapter Twenty
The next few days were a whirlwind of preparation, not just for the competition, but with creating bouquets for a wedding for that Sunday. Judith had worked with me on tons of weddings, but she’d never gone to one on her own. I wanted to make sure everything went as smoothly as possible while I was gone.
“It’ll be fine,” said Judith for the thousandth time. “You aren’t going to the moon. I can call you if I need to.”
“I know. I trust you and Will.” I forced a smile onto my face. “I’m just nervous. Sorry if I’m taking it out on you.”
Judith told me that I could buy her a drink when I got back, to which I agreed readily. I’d probably need a drink or five once this competition was over. Not only did I need to make sure Buds and Blossoms was running during my absence, but my dad had come by that morning to see my arrangement. He’d been decidedly unenthusiastic with my design.
“Honey, you’re so talented, but I thought you wanted to win,” he’d said. He’d sounded genuinely flummoxed. “This isn’t a winning design.” He’d then begun to give me suggestions how to fix it, as if I hadn’t realized my design was actually a hot-mess.
I’d gritted my teeth, told my dad it was too late to change it, and had stewed in my frustration and hurt for the rest of the day. It had only been Jacob’s texts, reminding me that we were going to be in Los Angeles together within two days, that had gotten me through the weekend.
On Monday, Jacob and I were eating dinner together at an Italian restaurant off Melrose. It was still warm outside, even though the sun had started to set. I’d been to Los Angeles many times, but I always forgot how clear the blue skies were here in Southern California. Pacific Northwest living tended to make you think everywhere else was cloudy all the time.
While we waited for our food, Jacob was oddly quiet, and I kept having to repeat my questions.
“Is something the matter?” I finally said after we’d gotten our meals. I’d given in and ordered fettuccine alfredo because I’d barely eaten all day.
“No.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”
“I think so. My arrangement got here fine, and I got to check it over. I’m always afraid the courier will drop it or drive over potholes on purpose.”
“They would be a terrible courier if they did.”
“I’ve had couriers who I’m pretty sure did just that.” I winced at the memory. “I remember once when I was in high school, I got to this competition in Atlanta and half my arrangement had fallen off. I don’t know how I managed to fix it in time. I was basically a sobbing mess at the end.”
“Did you win?”
I smiled wryly. “No. Second place.”
“Do you think you would have otherwise?”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but the girl who did win was better than me, honestly. Getting second place that time was pretty much a miracle.”
Jacob drank his wine, watching me the entire time. I mirrored him and raised an eyebrow for good measure. He could be as mysterious as he wanted, but I was pretty sure I could see through him. I wasn’t going to take the facade as truth anymore. I’d done that with Mari; I wasn’t going to do the same with Jacob.
“How’s your dad?” I said. I twirled a bite of pasta around my fork, and then couldn’t help but moan at the taste. “Geez, that’s good. Don’t watch me eat because I’m going to inhale this.”
“He’s not doing great, honestly.”
I stared at him in surprise. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to burden you with that information.”
“Well, that’s a stupid reason. Is this recent? I thought he was recovering?”
Jacob sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair. “He is. Was. But he was getting really frustrated at not being able to move around like he used to. He used to run marathons, go to the gym every day. Now he can only hobble around with a cane.”
“I’m sorry. That has to be hard to watch.”
Jacob kept talking, like he hadn’t heard me. “He’s not only lost his mobility, but we’re coming to realize that he’s lost a lot of things. Vocabulary, for one. He also tends to keep telling the same handful of stories over and over.” Jacob’s expression was pained. “He’d always been the strongest person I knew. After he had his stroke, my mom kept telling me I didn’t need to come home, that he was fine. If I’d known…”
Guilt assailed me, because I’d been so obsessed over this competition, over my feelings for Jacob, over myself, that I hadn’t considered that Jacob could be hurting like this. I wished he would’ve told me, but like Mari, had I tried to get him to tell me? Or had he felt like he couldn’t tell me?
“You can’t blame yourself,” I said, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Your parents probably wanted to protect you. They’re weird like that.”
“But I’m not a kid. They just didn’t want to admit the truth.”
“I get that. Sometimes it’s hardest to admit the truth to yourself, let alone to people you love.”
At the mention of love, I colored, glad that it was dark enough now that Jacob couldn’t see me blushing. Did he know how I felt about him? I almost hoped that he did while I hoped like hell that he didn’t.
Jacob clenched his jaw, and something made his eyes stormy. I wondered if there was more that he wasn’t telling me.
“I hope you know you can talk to me about whatever,” I said.
In a flash, he looked stricken, but it disappeared quickly. That aplomb he was so good at smoothed across his handsome features. “I want to take you back to the hotel and see if you’re wearing any panties under your dress,” he said in a low voice that turned my insides to liquid.
“Then you’re just going to have to wait.” I made a note to take off my panties in the restaurant bathroom to surprise him before we got back to the hotel.
Jacob had just shut the door of his hotel room behind him when he practically pounced on me, kissing me with a wildness that stunned me. His hands were seemingly everywhere at once—my breasts, my ass, my arms, my mound—that I couldn’t keep up with his movements. He pinned me against the wall and wouldn’t let me move, not that I wanted to.
I ran my fingers through his hair. I tasted wine on his tongue, and his cock was an iron bar against my belly. When he pushed the skirt of my dress up and discovered I wasn’t wearing any panties, his eyes widened slightly.
“You naughty girl,” he whispered, parting my pussy lips to find me already dripping. “Were you soaking wet while we sat and ate dinner, your pussy bare under your dress?”
I whimpered as he petted me. “Jacob—”
“I know what you need. Hold your dress up.”
He went to his knees and roughly widened my legs before he began to suckle my clit, his tongue licking inside my sheath. My head knocked against the wall, fire rushing through my veins. I took hold of his hair and tried to guide him where I wanted, but he just laughed darkly and did what he wanted.
“I could eat this pussy every hour of every day,” he whispered heatedly. “I love how you drip into my mouth when you’re close.”
I could never draw enough oxygen into my lungs when Jacob played with my body like this. He listened to every sigh, every moan, watched me arch and buck, and he seemed to read my mind with every stroke of his tongue.
I fucked his mouth as best as I could when I was holding my dress up with one hand and Jacob held me against the wall. He lifted my right leg onto his shoulder, opening me further. Rubbing my clit at the same time he tongue-fucked my sheath, I came within a millisecond. I bit down on my lip until it bled to keep from screaming.
“There you go. You taste so good. Your pussy is my favorite.”
I giggled, boneless, as he helped me strip out of my dress and bra. By then, I was able to undo his belt and take hold of his cock, which was already weeping at the tip.
“I like your cock, too,” I said. “It’s my favorite.”
“It’d better be.”
I licked the tip, loving the salty taste of him. I went down on my knees and took as much of him into my mouth as I could manage.
“Fuck, Dani.” Jacob stroked my hair. “Seeing you on your knees with my cock in your pretty mouth…”
He was too big for me to take him completely, and I was too much of a novice to know how to deep throat. But Jacob didn’t push me—he never did. He let me explore and figure things out on my own, sometimes giving some instruction when I was at a loss, other times simply encouraging me. I couldn’t have asked for a better instructor in the art of sex. My only regret was that we’d wasted so much time not doing this, disregarding the fact that we’d been on opposite sides of the country for the last nine years.
I felt him grow larger, and when he bumped the back of my throat, I pulled free with a gasp. I coughed a little and my eyes watered.
“You okay?” He lifted my chin, wiping the saliva off of my lip.
“Yeah, that’s never going to fit all the way.”
He grinned. “Never say never. You’ll get there.”
