Hearts and Minds (A Shifter Chronicles Story, Sequel to Healing Minds)

by M. D. Grimm

  “I think so, too.” Josh promptly forgot about Valentine’s Day and its implications as he walked into the small counseling room. Freddie sat on the couch, hunched over, his hands clasped in front of him. His mother sat right next to him, her hand on his. Freddie’s cane was set against the couch, and his left leg was tucked under his right. It was understandable that he was still self-conscious about his severed left foot, but that was one of the things they were working on. He needed to accept what had happened to him and move past it. But, as Freddie had only been with them for about a week, Josh knew it was a slow process and might take years. Freddie and his mother were bear shifters, and he’d proven nonviolent, but Josh had seen flashes of rage in his eyes when they attempted to discuss his abuse. Josh had Xavier on speed dial if Freddie proved too much to handle.

  They planned on getting radios when the next donation from the Agency came. While Josh was no longer an aide of the Agency, this clinic was funded by the organization, and had its approval. Nearly a year before he’d thought he’d needed to choose between his love for Xavier and his love for the Agency. He’d been thrilled to know he could have both.

  “Good morning, Freddie, Rita.” Josh wasn’t overly cheerful, but he was friendly, and he kept his smile small. His default personality was happy, but he knew not everyone shared his cheerfulness, especially his patients. Xavier had been helpfully instructive in that regard.

  “Good morning, Mr. McPhee,” Rita said, looking tired but determined to be strong for her son.

  Josh sat in the chair across from them. He didn’t feel comfortable with Rita, a woman old enough to be his mother, addressing him in such a way. His youth had probably worried her when they first came to the clinic; he was only twenty-six years old and looked even younger. But he’d managed to win her over, as Freddie continued to improve a little with each session. Josh would have to get used to it. He was currently working on a degree in psychology and had picked the brain of all the therapists and psychiatrists that Haven had to offer. They also volunteered their time whenever possible. One of the hardest things he’d been forced to cope with was the curbing of his talkative nature. It wasn’t as hard as it had once been, but he needed to make sure he didn’t ramble or throw out useless facts or stories that didn’t help anyone.

  He still felt slight resentment from Freddie, and he knew it was Rita who convinced him he needed counseling. Josh was sure the reluctance was based on the fact that he wasn’t a shifter, nor had he ever been tortured by the Knights. He tried to have them both look past that, to see these sessions as a way to cope with what happened to Freddie.

  Josh glanced over Freddie’s chart before looking directly at him. “Where would you like to start?”

  Freddie shrugged. He glanced at Josh, then looked toward the window. The view outside showed the landscapers, and beyond them, far in the distance, large mountains and hundreds of trees that bordered Sanctuary, the forested domain of Nordik, a master shifter. Sanctuary was the shifters’ name for several state and national forested parks that existed in Montana, Wyoming, and north into Canada.

  “I had a nightmare, again.”

  Josh nodded. He set the folder aside and leaned forward slightly, his arms on his thighs.

  “Would you like to tell me about it?”

  Freddie looked back at him and nodded.

  “I’m listening.”

  That afternoon Xavier stood in the grocery mart and regarded the shopping list with slight alarm. It was ridiculous how much they still needed to get through the week. It wasn’t just food, either. There were building supplies, electrical supplies, and he had to check to see if certain special items were delivered yet. He was thankful that Haven was as connected to the world as it was, while still remaining relatively isolated.

  He’d decided to stop by the grocery mart first, as food was the most important. The list had five pages to it. Thank Fenris that Josh was a man who liked neat and orderly lists; all the items were categorized and listed by aisle. Xavier never thought having a tight-ass for a mate would be anything but a headache. Of course, he’d always wanted a literal tight-ass, which Josh was as well.

  Xavier shook his head and refocused on the list. He really needed to keep his mind off sex if he didn’t want to torment himself.

  When he finally managed to reach the cashier after loading two fucking carts full of food, he noticed a tall, broad man whom he recognized. He smiled. The man’s girth might be intimidating, but he was a self-proclaimed teddy bear, despite the fact he was a cougar shifter.

  “Morning, Travis.”

  Travis, who was also Sheriff Jack’s mate, turned and smiled back. His dark blond hair was neatly trimmed just below his ears, and his eyes were covered by thick shades that hid his damaged eyes. He was also a survivor of the Knights’ experiments.

  “Do I hear two carts you’re pushing?”

  “Unfortunately, yeah.”

  Travis smiled with amusement. “Expecting a nuclear attack?”

  Xavier snorted. “You’d think so, right? No. Apparently, the workers and patients expect us to feed them.”

  “The nerve of them.”

  They both chuckled.

  “So, are you ready for Valentine’s Day?” Travis asked as he finished his purchase and moved out of line. Xavier pushed his carts up and started handing things to the cashier, a young teen girl who looked bored as she chewed gum.

  “Huh? Valentine’s Day?”

  “Yeah, the day after tomorrow.”

  Xavier gave him a blank look. Travis shrugged into the silence. “Just thought you and Josh would want to celebrate since it’s your first. But that’s fine if you don’t. Not everyone does. Jack personally hates it. He says it’s ‘commercial love.’”

  “So, you don’t celebrate it?”

  “In our own way we do.”

  “What do you do?”

  “We go out to Sanctuary, get furry, and run around like children.” Travis’s grin widened. “Then we fuck like animals. Works for us.”

  Xavier smiled at the anticipation in Travis’s smile. It was nice to see how someone who’d been a victim of the Knights himself could move past it and find joy in life. Travis had been captured as a teen along with his entire family. He’d been the only one to survive but was blinded by the experiments the Knights subjected him to.

  He also knew a little of what Travis had gone through to become mates with Jack. Jack was part of the largest pack in Haven, but not its leader. That would be Jack’s father, Jeffrey. There had been considerable resistance to Jack mating with a cougar shifter, and it reminded Xavier of his own pack. They considered wolf shifters far superior to any other shifter, and that sentiment was one of the reasons he’d left. He was glad to know not all wolf packs were willing to lose one of their own simply because of who he was in love with.

  “You think I should celebrate it? I never have before.” Xavier winced at the price that showed on the monitor, despite the fact the Agency was paying for everything. He handed the cashier the Agency’s credit card.

  “Like I said, up to you. It just seems to me that Josh’s one who might want to celebrate.”

  Xavier frowned, considering. Travis was right. Dammit. Xavier loaded the bags into the carts, and Travis walked with him out of the store.

  “I really don’t know if we could carve out the time,” Xavier said. “We’re busy from sun up to sun down and barely do more than sleep when night hits.”

  “Well, that’s all the more reason to find the time, don’t you think?”

  Xavier shrugged. “I suppose.”

  Sometimes Xavier forgot that Travis was blind since he was more capable than those who could see. Travis helped Xavier load the truck before giving him a firm pat on the back. Travis smiled again, nothing but friendly and open.

  “Even if it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, I think a night off is just what you guys need. Like you said, you’ve been working hard ever since you arrived. You didn’t even get any sort of honeymoon,
did you?”

  Xavier smirked. “Not really. We just sort of dove into this whole counseling clinic thing.”

  “What better reason do you need to plan something?” Travis nodded as if the matter was settled. “Trust me, Xavier, time has a way of getting away from you. Jack and I have been together nearly two years now, and I don’t know where the time went.”

  “Thought you two were friends before you were mates.”

  “We were. That time went pretty fast as well.” Travis’s smile turned wistful, and Xavier knew Travis was remembering the past.

  Travis shook himself. “Besides, Haven likes to take advantage of any sort of holiday. Not many stores will be open, and the ones that will, they’ll be closed probably half the day. Any excuse not to work, right? You should take advantage of that. I do.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re a writer. That’s not actual work.”

  Travis snorted. “Hey, watch it. Writing’s hard. It’s a job just like any other.”

  Xavier raised an eyebrow. “I’m not convinced. You can do it at home in nothing but your underwear. Hell, you can do it naked.”

  Travis laughed. It was a full-bellied laugh that made Xavier’s mouth twitch.

  “You know, I think Jack might enjoy that. But then he’d probably jump me, and I’d get no work done. See how hard it is?”

  “Oh yeah, so hard.” Xavier rolled his eyes.

  “Anyway, if you need any help, or suggestions, just let me know.”

  “Thanks.”

  They parted, and Xavier got behind the wheel. Then he simply sat there, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Fenris in chains, when he thought about it, he’d been with Josh for nearly a year. A full year! How the hell had that happened? He’d never been in a long-term relationship before, and now this one, his very first, was nearing its first-year anniversary.

  Xavier laid his forehead on the steering wheel. Fenris help him.

  His mind turned to Valentine’s Day again. Josh was the type to want all the mushy shit. Oddly enough though, the idea of celebrating such a romantic evening didn’t sound as horrible as it once would have. Xavier had never been one for mush, but when it came to Josh… he barely recognized himself. Not that he really missed his old self; that wolf shifter had been a selfish, cold bastard. He was happy to be rid of him. But with Josh it was like he was a cuddly teddy bear. Sighing, he put the car into gear and drove out of the parking lot.

  After he’d finished the entirety of his shopping, except for the packages since they weren’t delivered yet, he returned to the clinic. He got several of the workers to help him unload everything, and since he didn’t see Josh anywhere, he assumed he was still with patients. Xavier had yet to take on any as he basically commanded the workers, and he didn’t have the time or the patience needed to help that way. Maybe when everything settled and they started to take more violent patients. Not that he was really looking forward to that. Sure, this had all been his idea, but having an idea and executing it were drastically different.

  Not that he felt any regret. None at all. He had blood on his hands, and he hoped, in some way, this helped clean it away. If nothing else, he hoped it balanced the scales, in some cosmic sense.

  Shoving aside those thoughts, he walked back outside to the construction men. Maybe handling some power tools would put him in a better mood.

  Chapter Two

  Josh was mentally and emotionally drained by the time he staggered into the kitchen to get some food. It was late afternoon, and a couple of the patients had some emotional crises. He’d ended up skipping lunch. Bruno, the human chef, was moving swiftly around the kitchen, obviously starting dinner. Bruno was the tall, dark, lanky mate of a deer shifter who was a teacher at the local high school. Apparently, Bruno really liked food and would rather cook for a good cause than for money. He was a perfect fit around there, despite being human. Josh didn’t feel so out of place with him around.

  Bruno took one look at him and frowned. “Skipping meals isn’t healthy.”

  Josh smiled. “You don’t say?”

  Bruno sighed heavily before grabbing Josh’s arm and leading him over to one of the counter chairs. Josh sat, and before his eyes, Bruno whipped up a fresh, full-bodied salad, and set it down in front of him in what Josh thought was record time.

  “This’ll hold you over until dinner.”

  Josh stared at Bruno. “I think I’m in love with you.”

  Bruno chuckled, his open face showing affection. He ruffled Josh’s curly hair and turned back to the stove. “Save it, kid. I’m a stone’s throw away from sixty. You’re better with your current mate.”

  Josh picked up a fork and dove into the salad. He couldn’t stop the sounds of pleasure coming from him. “Apparently I like older men,” Josh said, his mouth full. “Xavier’s almost forty.”

  “How I long to be forty again,” Bruno sighed nostalgically and continued to move around the kitchen with ease and grace. Filled with every cooking implement invented, the kitchen was rather large, so Bruno had taken over the running of the kitchen with at least two assistants occasionally helping him.

  Josh smiled and focused on eating. While he’d become better at holding his tongue and not acting like a motormouth, he still caught himself sometimes going on and on to either a glaze-eyed patient or staffer. It was hard since he had so much knowledge, and he couldn’t understand why not everyone was interested in sharing that knowledge with him. But it was nice he didn’t have to worry about that with Xavier. Xavier never told him to shut up. Not from the first time they met had Xavier ever told him to be quiet. In fact, it was Josh’s voice that had saved Xavier from falling under the mind control of the Knights. He was proud to remember that.

  “Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” Bruno asked.

  Josh choked slightly before managing to swallow. “Wh-what? Um, no, nothing planned. I kinda forgot, actually.”

  Bruno chuckled. “It happens to the best of us. Ray and I are so busy during the week, we try to have at least one ‘date night’ a month. Valentine’s Day doesn’t really hold much significance for us.” Bruno looked over his shoulder and met Josh’s eyes. “But it’s a nice excuse to make your shifter dress up and treat you like a gentleman.”

  Josh chuckled. He finished the salad and politely took both plate and fork to the sink, rinsed them, then put them into the dishwasher. Maybe he and Xavier should set up a “date night.” If nothing else, that way Josh could talk to his heart’s delight and get out some of the tension such silence brought. Despite the fact that his voice was no longer needed to drown out the violent voice that the Knights had implanted inside Xavier’s head, Xavier still enjoyed listening to him ramble. Josh knew because he’d told him. Xavier would just stare at him, eyes clear and focused, filled with interest and a warm affection that never failed to cause Josh’s heart to race. Xavier’s eyes were truly amazing; a perfect mix of green-gold, one color sometimes dominating the other depending on his mood.

  Speaking of Xavier…. Josh thanked Bruno before grabbing his thick coat and walking outside and around the clinic, eyes peeled. He stuck his hands in his pockets, small puffs of fog in front of his face marking each breath he took. He had energy again, no patients scheduled for the rest of the day, and a few ideas on how to pass the time.

  Josh found Xavier in the back, sawing plywood. Workers were around doing other projects, chatting, shouting, ordering. Josh had become accustomed to the sounds, and he knew all their faces and their names. But his attention was focused on his mate. Xavier had stripped down to his tank top despite the cold and wore safety goggles. His foot was propped on the sawing board to give him leverage, and his hold on the electric saw was steady and sure. The lifted leg caused his jeans to become even more form-fitting than they usually were. Josh could only stop and stare. When was the last time he’d allowed himself to just look at this man, his man, and revel in his beauty? Xavier might be close to forty years old, but it was just a number, seemingly disconn
ected from the wolf. His body was still lean, formed by muscle that flexed as he sawed, and his skin was slightly bronzed from his childhood in Australia. His black hair and green-gold eyes made for an exotic picture, and Josh wondered why he’d been so distant of late. Yeah, sure, he’d been busy, but just look at him. And Xavier was all his. All Josh’s. Everyone else could only look, never touch. He’d had Xavier inside him.

  Josh’s mouth watered, and his palms became sweaty. His pants also became rather tight around his groin. He cleared his throat and resisted running over and jumping on Xavier’s back. Having an accident with a power tool was something that could kill a mood.

  Josh walked over instead, breathing carefully, heart pounding. He just kept thinking: this hot wolf shifter is all mine. Josh stopped at the side of the board, the farthest away from the blade.

  “Hey, Josh,” Xavier panted slightly.

  Josh couldn’t speak.

  Xavier reached the end, and the loose plywood fell to the ground. He lowered his leg, turned off the saw, and stood up straight, rolling his shoulders before glancing at Josh. He blinked in surprise. Josh was sure his intentions were written all over his face. Xavier’s eyebrows rose, and his eyes flared gold.

  “Jerry!” Xavier said, his gaze never leaving Josh’s face. “You’ve rested long enough. Take over, would you?”

  “Sure thing.”

  Xavier held out the saw and another construction worker took it. Grabbing Xavier’s hand, Josh pulled him toward the clinic. Xavier flung off his safety goggles and became the one to tug Josh. Running through the hallways, then up the stairs to their bedroom, they ignored everyone they passed. Most snickered.

  “I should take a shower,” Xavier murmured even as he tugged Josh against him, his strong hands cupping Josh’s butt.

  “No, I want to smell you,” Josh said. Then he literally jumped into Xavier’s arms and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Xavier staggered backward in surprise but recovered quickly. Josh smashed his mouth against Xavier’s, and Xavier thrust his tongue into his mouth. Groaning, Josh yanked the tie out of Xavier’s hair and drove his fingers through the black locks as Xavier squeezed Josh’s ass. Josh rubbed his encased erection against Xavier’s stomach.