by M. D. Grimm
“Left you alone? Are you fucking kidding me? We didn’t know if this was a fit or a homicidal rampage. You’re a patient who’s been mentally and physically abused by the Knights, and we’re responsible for you. You think we want you running around Haven, killing anyone?”
“Like you did?” Freddie said.
Xavier straightened, his face closing off completely, his eyes blank.
Freddie winced. “I didn’t… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just…. spirits.” He covered his face with his hands, rubbed hard. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just want it all to go away.”
Xavier battled back his wolf and struggled to unclench his fists. His stomach had knotted at Freddie’s words, but they began to loosen at the shame in Freddie’s voice.
“It will never go away, Freddie. But you can work through it,” Xavier whispered. “I’ve killed, and believe me, Freddie, you don’t want that sort of blood on your hands. It never washes off.”
Freddie lowered his hands.
“And,” he continued, his voice still cold. “You should consider yourself damn lucky Josh managed to tranq you. If he hadn’t, you’d be dead.”
Freddie stared at him, eyes wide, face pale.
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
Freddie swallowed hard, then nodded, slowly.
“Good. Keep that in the forefront of your mind. If you want to be released, you better shape up and start working with us. Healing clinic or not, I’d rather you rot in here than endanger other lives.”
Xavier turned to leave.
“Wait.”
Xavier stopped but didn’t turn around.
“How did you reconnect with your wolf? How did you stop the… whatever they did to you?”
Xavier turned around then and met Freddie’s gaze. “I didn’t do it alone. Josh helped me. He talked, and I listened. Maybe you should try that.”
Looking chagrined, Freddie nodded again.
“Also, I’d say you and your mother should spend some time outside. Maybe even in Sanctuary. Perhaps the four walls are too confining for your bear.”
Then Xavier left.
Chapter Three
It was late afternoon and Josh’s turn for a supply run. Perhaps someone else could have done it, but he honestly needed a change in scenery. He also needed some alone time. Could he really do this whole clinic thing? Or was he just fooling himself?
The local mechanic had fixed the truck in record time. Despite the dent in the hood, everything else worked properly. There were such nice people in this town.
Xavier told him that he’d spoken with Freddie. Josh had known about some of Freddie’s story but not all of it. His heart tightened to think about what was done to that—usually—sweet kid. He was glad Xavier had talked with him. If anyone could understand the depths of depravity the Knights could sink to, it was Xavier. Josh was so proud of Xavier, even though he was still a little pissed at him. He just needed distance from everyone, to occupy his mind with a change in scenery. He turned down the main road and drove right through the place where they’d confronted Freddie. He shuddered in memory.
A shipment of tools and other supplies was running late, and he drove to the UPS store first in hopes they’d been delivered. When he got there, he recognized the strong back of Sheriff Jack. He remembered, acutely, how Jack and Travis had been the welcoming committee for him and Xavier when they’d first arrived. He had nothing but good feelings toward the sheriff. In fact, his respect for the sheriff had only grown since his quick action yesterday.
Josh managed to muster up a smile. “Taking a break from patrolling the streets?”
Jack turned around. He was a rugged man with closely cropped brown hair and a neat beard that encircled his mouth. His eyes were silver, which Josh had always thought was interesting. Though they were the same height, Jack was lean with muscle, while Josh resigned himself to the fact that he’d always be a stick figure.
“Afternoon, Josh. You all right?” Jack’s voice was nicely husky, with a slight growl to it. Travis had once told Josh it was a voice made for sex.
“Yeah, I’m good.” He shrugged jerkily. “As good as I can be, I guess.”
Jack nodded, his eyes missing nothing. “You know we released him a few hours ago, right?”
“I know. Rita called. She’s taking him to Sanctuary. They’ll shift and… well, hopefully that helps.”
“Let’s hope.”
The elderly attendant came out with a medium-sized package and handed it to Jack. Then he looked at Josh. “Your packages just arrived. Glad you came today as we’ll be closing early tomorrow.”
“Why?”
The attendant raised an eyebrow. “It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, kid. While it’s not a federal holiday, we like to celebrate it however we can.”
Josh blinked. Right, he’d forgotten.
“What is it you do again, Sam?” Jack asked.
“Me and Lily go traditional: fancy dinner, candlelight, gifts, suit-and-tie for me, glittering dress for her.” Sam smiled with excitement. “Lily’s all about the traditional.”
Then Sam looked back at Josh and turned all business again. “Give me a minute.”
“No problem.” Josh leaned against the counter and looked at the calendar hanging on the wall, the one with a large heart drawn over February 14th. How could he have forgotten? He’d been too busy to realize or consider the implications. But now he did. This would be the first Valentine’s Day to come around that he was with someone. Joining the Agency meant intimate relationships were discouraged, and relationships between agents or an agent and a shifter were forbidden. He’d lived and breathed the Agency for years before Xavier, never feeling the loss. Tomorrow. It was tomorrow.
Then he noticed all the cut-out cupids hanging from strings from the ceiling. He should really be more observant.
How could they celebrate the most romantic day of the year when there was still tension between them? When he still remembered Xavier’s attempt to control him. But there was even more to his reluctance than just what happened last night.
Impulse had him speaking. “Hey, Sheriff, got a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.”
“Yep. But that’s not a question.”
Josh snorted. “Do you and Travis do anything special for it?”
Jack sighed as if he got the question a lot and set his package on the counter. “Valentine’s Day is all commercial, Josh, and has nothing to do with love. I’ve always hated it, but since people look at you weird if you have a mate and don’t do something, Travis and I go to Sanctuary for that day and shift. We run around until we’re exhausted then….” Jack paused, and seemed to be fighting a smile. “Well, let’s say we always have a happy ending.”
Josh grinned, blushing slightly. “Sounds like fun. I just… I don’t know. We’re so busy right now, and with what happened yesterday and….” He paused. “He left before I got up and has been working with the roofers—” Josh stopped, shook himself. Why was he telling Jack such personal things? Freaking motormouth. “Anyway, I guess it just seems sort of selfish and frivolous to celebrate such a holiday, right? And….”
“And what?” Jack prompted gently, his eyes probing. Josh got the acute feeling that he never wanted to be interrogated by this guy.
“Well, should we even celebrate it? I mean, I wouldn’t mind having at least an evening that’s just the two of us. But Xavier….” Josh blew out a breath. “You know Xavier. He’s a tough guy, right? Like, a bad ass. He wears leather, drives a motorcycle, can handle power tools and huge guns. He goes after disturbed shifters and never hesitates in a fight. He’s a guy’s guy. Valentine’s Day is all mush and sweetness.”
Josh blushed harder but was determined to finish his question. Jack’s silence actually helped him continue.
“Well, I guess my question is: do you think he’d even want to celebrate it? Wouldn’t he just scoff an
d laugh in my face? Wouldn’t he see it as a waste of time?”
Jack tilted his head, smiling. Sam came out with several large packages and started to pile them on the counter. Jack gestured with his fingers for Josh to lean closer. He did, and Jack dropped his voice.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Josh. As I’ve been known to be a guy’s guy as well, I think you can trust what I’m about to tell you. While Xavier might scoff and roll his eyes at the idea of mush and Valentine’s Day, the wolf’s in love. If the mush is coming from you, his mate, he’ll love it and return it. Alphas are softies in regard to their mates.”
“How do you know he’s the alpha?”
Jack only raised an eyebrow.
Josh couldn’t fight the grin. “Yeah, I know. Silly question.” Feeling more confident, Josh stood up straighter, and Valentine’s Day options began to run through his head. “Thanks, Jack. I’m glad I ran into you.”
Jack nodded. “Also, you should cherish the time you have together, Josh. Yesterday’s events should tell you something about the fragility of us all.”
Josh stared at the sheriff and nodded slowly. His gaze landed on the reason the sheriff was in the post office and nodded at the package.
“That for Travis?”
“Yes, it is.” Jack’s eyes noticeably warmed at the mention of his mate. “It’s a couple of copies of his newest book.”
Josh’s eyes widened. Under a pen name, Travis and his friend Delilah wrote mystery and suspense novels. Josh had been a fan for years. “He has a new one out? Why didn’t I know that?”
Jack smiled. “You’re a fan?”
“A big one. Had him and Delilah sign all my copies just last week when I found out who they were.”
Jack laughed outright at that. “They must’ve gotten a kick out of that. I guess Travis forgot to tell me.”
“When will it be released?”
“Next month.”
“Maybe I’ll con him into getting me an advanced copy,” Josh said, eyeing Jack.
Jack grinned. “He’s a softy, and he likes you. It won’t take much effort.”
Josh chuckled, feeling happier and lighter than he had the last few days, certainly more than in the last few hours. He was glad he’d decided to run errands.
Jack patted Josh’s shoulder, grabbed the package, and was about to leave when he eyed all the bundles sitting on the counter. Sam continued to bring them out of the back room.
The sheriff looked at Josh. “Need help with those?”
Josh looked at them, then blew out a breath. “You know, I really do.”
The first thing Josh noticed when he returned to the clinic a couple of hours later was the fact that Xavier stood on the recently renovated porch with someone he hadn’t seen in over a year. Josh parked the truck and climbed out, staring, not sure he was seeing things correctly. He hurried over and realized he wasn’t hallucinating.
“Mac?”
The personal aide to Captain Odin turned around and grinned wide. Yes, it was definitely Mac. No one had the same amazing smile on a face that put one in mind of golden boys and prime athletes. He was shorter than Josh, rangy, and was so well proportioned it was just unfair. The guy was just too perfect. He should have been an agent by now, but Josh knew he’d never applied, for some odd reason preferring the menial, back-office tasks of an aide. The man was thirty-one and could be doing so much more within the Agency.
“Josh! I was wondering when you’d get back.” Mac jumped down the steps and swept Josh up in a friendly hug. Josh laughed as Mac twirled him around once. Josh also didn’t miss the flare of heat in Xavier’s eyes. He stayed on the porch, his arms crossed over his chest, but Josh knew the signs, and he recognized the tightening his face. Even as indignation flashed, Josh knew he needed to defuse the situation.
“Put me down, idiot.”
Mac set him on his feet and let go. He was still grinning, his kind blue eyes sparkling. His brown hair looked a little lighter than usual, and if Josh wasn’t mistaken, it appeared Mac had gotten a tan recently.
“Thought you were in Hawaii,” Josh said.
“Got back two weeks ago. But then Odin was called off to Norway, and I was sent here.”
“Why?”
“Well.” Mac hooked his thumbs into his jean pockets. “It would seem someone’s neglected their weekly reports to the chief.”
Josh paled, winced. “Dammit. I didn’t mean to. I… dammit.”
Mac laughed and slapped his shoulder. “Don’t freak out. We all know how busy you’ve been. That’s why I was sent down. I’ll write up a report. Also, they’ve been meaning to send someone from the Agency down to get a firsthand look at the operation. Xavier’s been telling me about it, and I honestly don’t think you’ve anything to worry about.”
Josh blew out a relieved breath, still ashamed. The Agency was paying for this entire endeavor, and they only asked that he write up weekly reports. And he’d failed.
Xavier joined them. “I’ll unload the truck.” His voice was cool, distant.
On impulse Josh grabbed Xavier’s arm. They needed to talk and were almost avoiding it. That wasn’t right; it wasn’t healthy. They were mates. They needed to make time for each other; Xavier must know that. Avoidance wasn’t going to resolve anything. Xavier stopped and then surprised Josh by grabbing his hand and kissing the back of it. Their eyes met, and Josh managed a smile. Xavier’s eyes warmed, though he didn’t smile. Then he let go and called to several workers to help unpack the truck.
Josh watched him go before turning back to Mac. Mac watched him with a small smile.
“Seems you and he are working out.”
Josh had to wonder. “He’s so different from what he was like in that substation, Mac.”
Mac had been temporarily stationed with Josh when Xavier was a patient/prisoner of the Agency. But he’d been called away when the Agency infiltrated the Knights, leaving Josh alone with Xavier. Then several knights had broken into the substation and tried to kidnap Xavier. It was that single event that had propelled Josh into a strange, wonderful romance with the wounded wolf shifter. Life was very funny and strange sometimes.
“He seems to be. When I arrived, he wasn’t overly friendly with me, but he wasn’t hostile either. Makes sense, really. I’m sure any member of the Agency would make him twitchy. Except for you, of course.”
“Yeah. I have to wonder how he’ll react if he ever meets Poe again.”
Poe had been the agent to capture him.
Mac considered that. “That would be awkward.”
Josh chuckled. Mac slipped his arm around one of Josh’s and tugged him forward. “Show me around, Josh.”
“Right.”
Josh gave Mac the tour, explaining their future plans, the progress of the counseling, and the remodeling. Mac jotted things down on a notepad and asked difficult questions that Josh did his best to answer. Mac nodded, smiled, and generally made Josh feel comfortable and confident. But that was just Mac. He had the gift for putting others at ease. His actual gift, however, the one his fae blood gave him, was supersight. He could see details far into the distance that no one else could. It made him a great pilot, the one most agents requested.
They ended up back on the porch in the front of the clinic, and Xavier had stopped by only long enough to hand them both a beer. Then he was gone to help the roofers.
“So Odin’s in Norway?” Josh said. “Doesn’t he need you there?”
“Nah. It’s actually just a conference with other Agencies. Chief Hera sent him as a proxy.”
Josh smiled slightly. “I’m sure he was eternally grateful.”
Mac laughed. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the curses that came out of his mouth when he left her office. Some of them weren’t even in English. Then the incoherent grumbling after. He hates politics.”
“Why didn’t she send Captain Hecate? Or any of the other captains?”
“He was available. And, despite his grumbling, he’s really the b
est to send. He knows how to get things done and knows what needs to be done.”
Josh watched Mac as he spoke, and something niggled at the back of his mind. “At least in Norway he might fit in a little.”
A sharp laugh burst from Mac. He leaned back against the railing and rolled his eyes at Josh. “Are you kidding? Odin doesn’t fit in anywhere. He’s a colossus with black-brown eyes and a head as bald as a baby’s.”
Josh tilted his head slightly. “Odin has black eyes.”
“In the right light, they’re brown. You just have to look close enough.”
Josh’s eyes widened. As a man in love himself, he knew the signs, knew the tone. “Jesus Christ, Mac, you’re in love with him.”
Mac snapped his head around, eyes wide, mouth agape. “Wh-what?”
Josh took a large gulp of his beer and coughed. “Nothing. Nothing. Don’t mind me.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Mac leaned closer and dropped his voice. “What the fuck are you talking about, Josh?”
There was fear in his voice, which Josh had never heard before. Josh reluctantly met his eyes, and sympathy coursed through his heart. Agents had a rule: bachelors and bachelorettes for life. Agents were to be married to the job, and that included aides. If any started a relationship with fellow agents or shifters, it was cause for dismissal. Everything seemed to click into place in Josh’s mind.
“That’s why you’re still his aide after all these years, why you’ve never applied to become an agent.”
It just burst out of him, his mouth working before checking with his better senses. Mac paled. Josh gripped his hand when he realized Mac was ready to bolt.
“I won’t tell anyone, I swear. I just figured it out this minute. I’m in love, Mac, I… I guess I just see it better now, in other people.”
Mac took slow breaths before gulping down his beer. His voice was shaky when he spoke. For the first time since Josh had known Mac, he looked uncertain. “I don’t know what to say. No one’s ever seen it before.”
