Book of Love

by David Horne

  Rising from his spot on the couch, he cleaned up the takeout containers and got ready for bed. As he lay down on his bed, he turned to lie on his back. Idly he stroked his stomach. Matt wondered to himself if he ever should have allowed the world to know that he was the one to come forward.

  Air rushed out of his nose as Matt thought more about the things that he usually wouldn't allow himself to think about. Matt had always thought that Alfie was terrific to look at. Now, he was even more so now. Matt knew that being in football and with everything that happened, he knew he really didn't have a chance.

  Perhaps he could have a chance if Alfie saw the real him. If Alfie got to know who Matt really was and what he liked and the silly little habits he had. Matt would love to know more about Alfie—what he loved to eat, what his favorite drink was, what kind of movies did he like to watch, what was his favorite book and how did he get Sam.

  He wanted to know more about Alfie. Maybe he could be friends. He had the opportunity to try at the very least. Nodding to himself, Matt turned onto his side and finally allowed sleep to claim him.

  ***

  It didn't take long for his dream to take shape. It has been said that you tend to dream about the person you last thought of. That normally wasn't the case with Matt, but, it seemed that this one time, it was true.

  It started off innocent and just what Matt wanted to happen. Alfie opening up to him about the things that are clearly being hidden. They were talking in the store, just having a slow day when Alfie weirdly looks at him. It was in a way that Matt knew, but, in his dreams, can't seem to understand.

  Alfie was wearing a loose white shirt that was lipping down one shoulder, revealing the creamy colored skin. The man's elegant neck was on display as he tilted his head to the side.

  Alfie made his way then, to the back of the counter and boxed Matt in with those captivating green eyes. Matt moved until his back was against the wall. Alfie's face was just a few inches away from his face. He could see the darker blond eyelashes fluttering as slightly closed his eyes. The look sent chills of excitement down Matt’s spine. Graceful fingers touched his cheek to lower his face to meet Alfie face to face. He didn't give Matt any time to react when suddenly Alfie kissed him. It was gentle, sweet, and oh so innocent, but it was enough to get his heart racing.

  It was at that moment that Matt woke up, his pounding heart probably the cause. He was sitting upright and was breathing hard. He cursed himself for the secret crush he had had on Alfie in high school and thinking now was a good time to rekindle is crush.

  Growling low in his throat. Matt scrubbed his face with his hands before falling back to the bed with a groan that had a bit of a whine at the end.

  "Great, just great. How am I going to look the guy in the face tomorrow?" he asked to a silent room.

  It turned out that the universe was kind to him the next day. Alfie had a lot of things to do and would be in his office for most of the day. By the time Alfie emerged from the office, Matt had calmed his heart and brain down to the point where his heart only made a small flutter when Alfie came to ask him if he was hungry.

  What made it a little bit harder was that Alfie was wearing a shirt similar to the one Matt had in his dream. The only saving grace was that Alfie had an undershirt on. So the black strap of the shirt was covering most of the shoulder.

  They ate together as Sam played with his chew toy next to Alfie. The puppy was, however, watching Matt all the while.

  After they ate, they just sat back into the couches to relax the rest of their hour lunch break. Alfie was looking at Matt. The expression luckily was nothing like the seductive one he had in his dream. It was more a thoughtful one.

  "What are the chances that someone else from your family or friend group would make an appearance?" Alfie asked while his head tilted slightly while still leaning back on the couch.

  Matt thought about it, really thought about it. "My friends, well some of them might eventually come back and probably act like nothing happened, thinking that they can just be my friends again. As for my dad, the chances of him finding me and coming here is pretty high. He’s an egotistical man and doesn't like losing. He probably sees this whole thing as a loss. He'll be here eventually, and it won't be pretty." Matt grimaced and groaned just imagining the things his dad would spout once he was here.

  Alfie gave him a sympathetic look and reached over to gently pat his knee. "Well, at the very least he has nothing to hold over you. You have a job, one he cannot make you lose, a place to sleep and you have a scholarship. If I am judging your father correctly, he won't mess with your education." The sentence was said as a fact, but the tone of voice Alfie used made it a question.

  Matt thought about it, his father was an arrogant man, but he held education pretty much just as highly as his own public standing.

  "Yeah, I doubt he'll do anything there. When I go back to my classes next week, I'll talk to the university's president. Just so he knows what's going on."

  Alfie nodded as he rose from his seat. "I think that is a splendid idea, but we should get back to work." Alfie smiled and picked up Sam.

  "We'll go get dinner somewhere when we're done. Tonight is stock night. We'll be getting new inventory in about two hours or so. Then, we’ll have to place them in the storage room and add them into the inventory. We will be up until late. After that, we can grab some dinner afterward. Also, tomorrow because stocking usually takes so long, I open an hour later."

  Matt nodded as he took the empty food packages to the trashcan. When he turned around, he saw Alfie was back in his office, but the door was slightly opened.

  Flipping the open/closed sign back to open, Matt made his way back to behind the counter and sat on the stool. The thought that the day would wind down more, but it seemed that today people were planning on buying their books on their lunchtimes.

  The store was busy but not in a chaotic way. There was a mixture of all types of people, older people who came for the rear finds such as older books they still stocked and the younger people coming in for a considerable variation of books. When the schools finished for the day, teenagers came. That was when Matt grew a bit annoyed.

  They giggled and gave him flirty glances over the tops of books. It was everyday teenage girl things, but it was never really appealing to him. It was while the very confident girl was trying to get Matt’s number when Alfie came out of the office again. He walked in quietly, so the girl talking to him did not see or hear him.

  "Come on, I'm a senior, I'll be in college next year. I'd love to know someone." The girl gave a charming smile.

  Alfie was a bit confused as to how the girl knew Matt went to the university close by until he saw the university logo on Matt's shirt he was wearing. He looked behind the girl to see that she was holding up the line. Some of his regulars were looking annoyed at the girl while some looked sorry for Matt, who clearly didn't want to give a stranger his number. The only ones who seemed to be on the girl's side were her friends standing near the door, all looking optimistic and giggling softly to each other.

  Matt looked over the girl's shoulder to see Alfie looking at the whole spectacle. Something in his face must have given him away that he didn't know what to do.

  Clearing his throat to get the girl's attention. Alfie watched as she turned around to see him standing with his arms crossed and an unimpressed eyebrow raise aimed at her.

  "I'd appreciate it, Miss. if you could pay for your books and leave as you are holding up the line," Alfie said while pointing at the growing line and glares of the other shoppers.

  The girl pouted and looked back at Alfie. "Oh come on. I'll pay as soon as he gives me his number." The girl pointed at Matt, who had a look of utter horror on his face.

  "If you don't pay for your books and stop harassing my employee, I will have no other option than to ask you to leave and never return," Alfie said in a no-nonsense voice, his anger clearly showing in his face and tone of voice.

  This was also
when Matt realized that when Alfie was mad apparently his British accent came out thicker. He sounded posh to Matt's ears.

  The girl's friends were recording Alfie as he watched the girl and stuttering that he couldn't do that. Then, she wanted to speak to the manager. She asked if Alfie knew whose daughter she was and her father would make Matt give her his number.

  Alfie leaned forward to look the girl in the eyes and said in a deadpan voice. "I am the owner. Please leave. You are now banned from the store.

  The girl and her friends left all red-faced while the rest of the customers cheered. Some even gave Matt a little extra cash.

  All in all, it wasn't such a bad day.

  Chapter Five

  Days turned into weeks, and soon Matt had to go back to school, Alfie waved him off when he asked if he would be okay with Matt taking smaller shifts. Alfie had smirked at him and told him that he would be fine on his own and that he was a big boy.

  The crush Matt had on Alfie, the one he hoped would fade, had stayed and was growing into something Matt was not yet ready to face, so the fact that school had started again was a big sigh of relief for him.

  Matt also noticed that Alfie would spend roughly half the week at the apartment, it was when he was there that Matt learned that Alfie was an early riser and that he didn't like the taste of coffee that much but drank it for the convenience of it, but when he had the time, he would indulge in brewing loose tea leaves. It was an indulgence that Matt quickly grew to love as Alfie had a large variety in teas.

  Having a cup of steaming hot cup of tea before bed soon became a ritual for Matt, even more so when Alfie was there as the Alfie had brewing tea down to an art. An art Matt grew to love dearly.

  It was also when Alfie slept over at the apartment that Matt learned that Alfie's guilty pleasures were watching tacky American reality TV shows and laugh at how absurd Americans could be. He then showed Matt some British reality shows to show Matt that British people could be tacky too. Matt had joined in pretty fast in the guilty pleasures but mostly to hear Alfie laugh and snort as he watched young people acting like “imbeciles” as he would often mutter with a shake of his head.

  Matt later learned that Alfie had a die-hard love for anything salted caramel and then went out of his way to find anything salted caramel flavored by pure accident, of course. Alfie's face brightening was more than worth the effort.

  Alfie also seemed to get cold easily and was usually in a sweater when Matt was just in a long sleeve. Alfie once commented that Matt radiated heat and was very tempted to just cuddle with him to steal his heat. Matt had to bite his tongue from telling Alfie that he was more than welcome to do so, but he knew his cheeks bled red. He knew that Alfie could read his face by then and knew that Alfie could tell he didn't not like the idea. What Matt did realize very quickly was that Alfie was easy to like and even easier to like him more than friends.

  It came to a point where he didn't know how to act around Alfie without giving himself away. He ended up running to his mother for advice, but she just told him to talk to Alfie. Maybe he wouldn't be opposed to trying something. Matt merely scoffed and reminded his mother of the history between them, but his mom didn't look impressed by his excuse.

  Matt chose to do nothing but slowly fall for his boss and roommate.

  ***

  Weeks turned into months, and Matt knew he was in a mess. He knew that the more he got to know Alfie and even Sam, who only grew more adorable each day. The more he fell in love, but, short of moving out, there wasn't anything he could do but fall more in love.

  Alfie peeked over his book as Matt talked to a customer, talking about what books they could order them. Matt's easy-going temperament helped a great deal as the customers soon came to love him. He even brought in more business. Sadly, most of that business happened to be women who were, unfortunately, and also sometimes even pathetically, barked up the wrong tree.

  His heart gave a small squeeze as Matt smiled at the woman as she gave a flirty wave. The smile slipped off his face, and the man gave a deep sigh completed with his shoulders drooping.

  "How have you stayed sane with these flirty women?" Matt asked as he looked over to him. He was taking a small break from his spreadsheets.

  A snort behind a hand was his answer. Alfie gave him an eye smile, his hand still covering his mouth. The look told Matt that Alfie also goes through the same torture.

  Another customer walked up to the cash register and took Matt's attention away from him. Alfie sighed internally as he wondered if the fluttering in his heart will ever go away. It wasn’t that Matt had been giving him a reason to think that he wasn't interested. In fact, he was showing the opposite.

  The glances Matt was throwing his way, not sexually in any regard, was one rather of longing. It made Alfie wonder if Matt had a crash on him because he gave Matt a second chance at a lot of things or if this was something real.

  He hoped, deep in his heart that maybe Matt was really interested in him and that they could possibly try for a relationship. He hadn't lied when he told Matt that he was never mad at him. He just used him as a vent, and he felt terrible afterward. It was clear to Alfie that what happened in high school had left an invisible wound on the man. , as Whenever his family mentioned him as a teenager, Matt would flinch or twitch slightly.

  It just showed Alfie that the boy he saw in high school when his teammates were out of sight was the real boy, the man he saw in front of him now.

  Alfie closed his book and placed it on the armrest. He had kicked off his shoes when he came to sit and read a bit his legs tucked underneath him. He moved his legs to his chest so he could rest his chin on one knee. Alfie watched Matt as he helped another customer, one of his regulars, a couple who were stocking up on books for their next adventure overseas.

  Matt was just so unfairly handsome. It wasn't just his looks. His personality and easy-going charms were like magnets to Alfie. He didn't know how to proceed in trying to get an idea of what Matt was feeling for him.

  Placing his feet down, Alfie slipped his feet into his sneakers and roughly tied them. He picked up his book and walked back to his office to check on Sam. As he was putting his book back into the bookcase, he heard the bell tinkle. An awkward silence followed. Frowning, Alfie walked to the door. He was about to open it when he heard Matt utter a word he was hoping he wouldn't hear for a while longer.

  "Father."

  Alfie strained his ears to listen as Matt's father cleared his throat. "So, this is where you have been hiding."

  Matt made a rather ugly snort before pulling what Alfie imagined in his head to be a rather nasty sneer if the tone of his voice was anything to go by. "I've not been hiding. I work here while I study. I don't need your money. So, I don't see why you are here. I made myself clear last time we saw each other that I don't want to marry that spoiled little brat just for your own gain. What the hell would I get out of what would be a loveless marriage?" Matt asked in a deathly calm tone.

  There was a moment of silence. Then, Alfie heard the open and closed sign being flipped and footsteps walk around. "Well being in a better financial situation for starters. You could have your old savings back. Didn't you want to open a clinic when you finished studying? How will you pay for that now with such a mediocre job?"

  A hissing breath left Matt. He probably sighed through gritted teeth. "I'd feel a lot more accomplished if I could build my clinic on my own merit. As for this mediocre job, I love it here. I have a fantastic boss and making connections with some cool people. I'm becoming my own person, away from your depressing shadow you try to keep me under."

  Matt's father made an unimpressed hum as he walked around the bookstore. At least that was what it sounded like to Alfie. Mr. Ward stopped walking. Going off of the distance of his steps, Alfie would guess that Mr. Ward had stopped in front of the counter.

  "You can't be serious Matt. How could you love working in a dump like this? I doubt it makes enough to pay you and the rent. I mean
, this place has such a dated look that they clearly can't keep enough revenue to update the place. Come now, all is forgiven. You can come back home. I'm sure we can work something out. After all, Bella still really would like to meet you. I am dead sure that once you meet her, you'll like her enough. I have told you before that she knows of your sexuality. She's more than fine with you having a lover as long as you be discreet."

  Alfie looked at the door in shock. He knew that Matt hadn't lied when he told him what his father did. But, hearing it out of the mouth of the very man, made him shake his head in disbelief.

  "Do you even hear yourself? You want me to agree to a loveless marriage? Do you even care that I don't want to be in the limelight like you so badly want to? You don't care that you drove Mom away. You don't care shit about anybody but yourself, and it's disgusting. Did you ever care about me? Or was I always just something to control?" Matt sounded a lot more upset.

  "Of course, I care. But, do you even have any idea what I had done for our family to live in the life we have been living in? Look at your mother. She has a small place she can barely pay for. And you, you sound more and more like an ungrateful child. I have sacrificed a lot to ensure that you could have the best gear, go to the best school, and have all of the finest things in life, and this is how you're thanking me? I have a mind to—"

  Alfie had heard enough, more than enough.

  He opened the door with more force than necessary, the doorknob making contact with the wall. Alfie didn't care as he glared at Mr. Ward, who had a shocked look on his face, very similar to that of Matt.

  Matt couldn't believe what he was seeing. Alfie was clearly seething. His green eyes burning in anger, he walked in slowly, not taking his eyes off of Mr. Ward.

  "How dare you!"

  Both Ward men stiffened at the deadly tone in the smaller blond man's voice. "How dare you come into my store and talk to one of my employees like that!"

  Matt watched as his dad sputtered and looked at Matt as if for confirmation. Matt didn't utter a word and kept his eyes trained on Alfie, who was looking at his dad as if he was the scum of the earth.