by K Carothers
She and Jenna Godfrey had been best friends for twenty-six years, ever since the day they’d crossed paths in the woods just outside of New Dublin, Wisconsin, a small town north of Madison, during the summer that tragedy had first touched both their lives.
Erin had been sent to New Dublin to live with her grandparents after her mother died—grandparents she hadn’t even met until then. And not long after that Jenna and her parents had moved into the house next door, the only other one on that lonely country road, hoping to make a fresh start after Jenna’s younger brother died from a brain tumor.
Despite their misfortune, the Godfreys had treated Erin with the kind of love and affection her own grandparents had never given her, and she’d come to care for them deeply. But then tragedy ended up striking them all once again—Jenna’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. And after a difficult, two-year battle, she died when Erin and Jenna were fifteen.
Erin had vowed never to go back to that miserable town once she’d graduated from high school. The problem was, Jenna never left. They’d originally planned to move to the East Coast together, but Jenna’s father developed complications from diabetes, so her friend had stayed behind. She’d gotten a degree in education and worked in New Dublin as an elementary school teacher, all while taking care of her ill father. He’d died five years ago, but by then Jenna had made her life there. And Erin had never gone back.
They went on vacation together every year, and Jenna came to Boston whenever she could. But they hadn’t been in contact much recently, and Erin knew it was her own fault. Jenna was probably calling now because she’d heard about the accident on I-93.
“Erin, it’s so good to hear your voice,” her friend said. “I wasn’t sure you would answer this late.”
“I was actually going to leave my phone in the kitchen and ignore it for once. But now I’m glad I couldn’t go through with it,” Erin responded with wry amusement in her tone. “I was shocked to see you were the one calling so late, though. Usually I’m the night owl, not you.” She leaned against the kitchen counter, picturing Jenna on the other end of the line with her curly auburn hair and twinkling blue eyes, and the image brought a tender smile to her face. Jenna always made her smile. It was something she’d been forgetting how to do more and more lately. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you in a while. I guess I kind of get lost in my own little world sometimes.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Erin. I know how busy you are. I just hope I didn’t pick a bad time to call now. With your schedule, I’m never sure. And I—I kept second-guessing myself about calling at all tonight.”
“You can call me anytime, Jen. You know that.”
“Yes, well…” Jenna’s voice trailed off for a moment, and then she said, “I saw the news. That accident in Boston was horrible. Were you working?”
Erin’s lips twisted into a grimace. “Of course. My black cloud never lets me down.”
“I couldn’t believe it when they showed all those cars piled up like that. And they said thirty-five people died. That’s awful.”
Erin hadn’t stopped to think about it before. Laura had been the last one, number thirty-five…She mentally shook herself and headed back into the living room. “Let’s talk about something more pleasant, Jen. I’m finished at the hospital in two weeks, and the school year should almost be over by then. Why don’t we plan on meeting somewhere? I need a vacation, a very long vacation, and I’d love for us to get together. Maybe we can finally make it to Costa Rica.”
“Oh, Erin,” Jenna whispered.
Erin stopped short. There was a sadness and pain in her friend’s voice that she’d never heard before. “What’s going on, Jen?” she asked in alarm.
“I’m so sorry. This is really bad timing, but—but I’ve put off telling you for too long. I’ve dreaded having to tell you.”
“What is it, Jenna?” Erin asked again, forgetting how to breathe. She knew it was going to be bad.
“I have cancer…Melanoma. I—I’m dying.”
Erin stood frozen in the middle of her living room, and for a moment the whole world stopped. There was no sound, no movement, not a single thought in her head. Nothing.
“What?” she finally got out.
“I was diagnosed with melanoma,” Jenna softly repeated. “Stage 4. I’ve had a bunch of tests done, and the oncologist gave me all the options for treatment, but the type of melanoma I have is especially difficult to manage, and it’s spread to so many places.” After another long pause she added, “I—I have a few months now, if I’m lucky.”
The weight of Jenna’s words finally hit Erin. “No,” she whispered hoarsely. “Jenna…No.” Her legs started to go weak under her, and she managed to get over to a nearby chair and sit down. “How…how long have you known?”
“The first tests were done a couple of weeks ago. I’d been losing weight, which normally I wouldn’t object to.” Jenna laughed half-heartedly. “But I just didn’t feel well in general. I was tired all the time and started having lots of aches and pains, especially in my back and hip, so I went to see my doctor. She did X-rays, and they weren’t normal. Then she ordered a bunch of scans, and those showed the extent of the cancer. She also took a biopsy of a mole on the back of my leg that didn’t look right. I have so many moles and freckles all over, I never really noticed anything unusual…It was melanoma.”
Erin sat there stunned, not knowing what to think, not knowing what to say. She finally went to the part of her brain that worked the best, the part she’d gone to earlier that day. Now she needed it more than ever. “I want you to come to Boston and stay with me, Jenna. We have excellent cancer specialists here. We’ll get all your records transferred and figure out what the best course of treatment is. I was going to hold off accepting another position here for a few weeks anyway, but I’ll wait as long as it takes to get you better. We’ll fight this.”
“No, Erin. I’m not going to fight it, not when it’s this far advanced,” Jenna said. “I know as a doctor you always want to find a cure. That’s your job. But sometimes there isn’t one. Sometimes the best option is to do nothing. And right now I don’t need you to be my doctor. I just need you to be my friend.”
Erin couldn’t accept that. “Jenna, there are clinical trials we can get you into—”
“No, Erin. I’ve made my decision. I’m not fighting this. I understand that there are really good treatments out there now for most types of cancer. But the fact is, they haven’t found a good one for mine yet. And the options that are available can have serious side effects…No. I’m not going to spend whatever quality time I have left on this Earth feeling sick, all so I can cling to life a little longer and be sick some more. I don’t want to live if I’m not really living. You were there when my mom went through all that with breast cancer. She tried everything right up until the end so she could hang on as long as possible for us. But she was so miserably sick, and in so much pain all the time. I can’t do that. I won’t.”
Erin remembered how bravely Jenna’s mom had battled cancer. Shannon…She’d been such a kind, gentle woman, just like her daughter. There had always been a sadness about her, though, even before she got sick. Erin understood that kind of sadness. Shannon had lost her own parents when she was young. And then there was Jenna’s brother, of course. But Shannon would never talk about him. Some things were just too big and painful to push past the vocal cords. Erin understood that too.
She felt tears fill her eyes. This time she couldn’t fight them off, and they spilled down her cheeks. She and Jenna had experienced so much pain, so much tragedy, in their lives, and now this…Jenna was the most kind-hearted person she’d ever known. Her friend didn’t deserve this.
Erin felt that old anger, that old rebellion, rise inside her. “How can there possibly be a God, Jenna? I can’t believe God could be this cruel.”
“Oh, Erin,” Jenna said. “Thi
s is not God’s doing. It’s just part of life. I know your horrible grandmother turned you against religion, but I truly believe in God and Heaven. I’ve been able to come to terms with all of this over the last few weeks, and I think it would have been a lot harder to do if I wasn’t sure there was more than just this life here on Earth. There’s a better place—there really is. And I know I’ll be there with my family. I’m going to be fine…I’m really going to miss you, though.”
Erin wiped her tears away with a trembling hand. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Jenna.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Erin knew her friend was crying too.
“We’ll see each other soon, okay?” Jenna finally said. “I would like to come to Boston. But first I have to do something I’ve dreamed about for a long time: I’m going to Ireland. My mom had always wanted to go there too, so I’m making the trip for both of us. I also found out we have some distant relatives in Dublin, ironically, and I’m planning to meet up with them. I just got a ticket yesterday, and the flight leaves in the morning. I thought I’d come home afterward, get a few last things in order here, then head to Boston.”
Erin thought about her schedule, but there was no way she’d be able to get all her shifts covered in time to go along. “I wish I could come with you, but I’m working in the ER almost every day for the next two weeks.”
“I wish you could come too, but I figured your schedule wouldn’t allow it. And unfortunately, I can’t wait. I want to go while I still feel well enough to enjoy this trip. I don’t know if that will be the case even a week from now.”
“You shouldn’t be going alone.”
“I’m not. Luke Mathis is going with me.”
Erin was surprised. Luke Mathis. He was a police officer in New Dublin now, a detective. But after fourteen years she only had a vague image of him in her mind. Dark hair, blue eyes, quiet…They’d all gone to school together since first grade, but she hadn’t known him well. Except for Jenna, she’d never really had any friends. She did remember Luke’s father, though. She’d worked as a nursing assistant at the hospital through most of high school, and he was a surgeon there. In fact, he’d written her a letter of recommendation to Harvard.
“So you’ve finally hooked up with Luke, have you?” Erin asked, sniffing back her tears.
Jenna laughed softly. “He’s like a brother to me. I’ve told you that before. He just didn’t want me to go alone either. When he found out the police chief would let him off, he insisted on coming along. He’s been a big help these last few weeks.”
“Unlike me,” Erin winced.
“No, you’ve always been a great friend—my best friend. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But I knew this was going to be the hardest part, telling you.”
“I really wish I was with you right now, Jen.”
“I know. But I’ll come to Boston right after this trip. I promise.”
“No, you won’t.” Erin knew what she had to do. And it meant facing the demons she’d run away from for the last fourteen years. “I’m going to come stay with you in New Dublin as soon as I’m done here.”
There was shocked silence on the other end of the line for a moment. “Are…are you sure?” Jenna finally asked.
Erin was scared to death at the thought of going back, that was for sure. She realized that despite fourteen years away, graduating from one of the best schools in the country, going through intense medical training, and getting married and divorced, there was still that same scared little girl inside her. “I want to be there for you, Jenna. It’s my turn to come to you. I have to do this. I’ll stay until…until the end.”
“That could be months.”
Erin sniffed back more tears. “I hope it’s years.”
“You’re sure you won’t mind staying at my house?”
Erin knew what Jenna was asking. Her friend still lived in the little house she’d grown up in, and the one next door was the old farmhouse Erin had spent many miserable years in. “My grandparents are dead. I need to get over it.” They were in St. Mary’s Cemetery in New Dublin, along with her mother. As for her father, she didn’t want to contemplate where he was.
“Alright, Erin…If you’re sure.” The weariness in Jenna’s voice was much more pronounced now.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Erin gently told her. “Now go rest up for your big trip. I want to hear all about it, so text me every day, okay? And I’ll call you whenever I can.”
“Okay. I can’t wait to see you,” Jenna said. “I love you, Erin. Goodnight.”
“You too, Jen. Goodnight.”
With a shaking hand Erin set the phone down next to her on the chair, and tears started falling silently down her cheeks again. She tried to stand, but her legs wouldn’t hold her, and she ended up sliding to the floor instead. She buried her face in her hands as the tears turned into sobs. And then she cried like she hadn’t cried since she’d been a scared and lonely child locked up in the old farmhouse on the outskirts of that wretched little town.
Chapter
3
Police vehicles, with their lights flashing red and blue, blocked the highway going both ways.
Erin groaned and came to a stop behind several other cars in the northbound lane. She was almost to New Dublin—finally. It had been a long drive from Boston, with only her thoughts to keep her company. And her tears. Now that they’d started, she couldn’t seem to stop them.
Things were becoming more familiar the closer she got to town, places long forgotten, like the horse ranch she’d passed a few miles back. The pasture was still there, fenced in next to the road, with several horses peacefully grazing inside. She’d always loved looking at them through the car window when she was a kid. They’d been like a dream, part of another beautiful world outside the window that was just beyond her reach…
Erin surveyed the scene before her now. There was dense forest on both sides of the highway, split only by a narrow gravel road to the right. Something was clearly going on down that way because the police cars were parked in the traffic lanes on each side of it. But the road disappeared into the forest after a short distance, so she couldn’t see what was happening.
She glanced at the clock on her dashboard. She was going to be late if they didn’t let her through soon. Jenna’s class was getting out of school for summer vacation today, and she’d promised to drive her there to say goodbye. Her last goodbye, Erin thought sadly. And if it wasn’t for an apparent bug in her car’s navigation system she would already be with Jenna. But it had gone haywire about the time she’d passed the horse ranch, making her miss the next turn—which she probably would have remembered to make if the GPS hadn’t been on in the first place. So now here she was, stuck in this mess instead.
A dark-haired man in a long-sleeved shirt and tie came out of the woods just then, running toward two uniformed police officers standing near the highway. A split second later she heard a high-pitched siren behind her and saw the red flashing lights of an ambulance in her rear-view mirror. It screamed past her, and the dark-haired man urgently directed it down the gravel road.
Erin didn’t think twice. She eased her yellow Audi over to the side of the highway, then jumped out and ran toward him.
* * *
“A duel? Are you kidding me?” one of the patrol officers asked in surprise.
Luke Mathis shook his head, not quite believing it himself. “I couldn’t make this sort of thing up if I tried. Anyway, you can let traffic go through on the highway now. We’re setting up a landing zone in the field for the chopper.”
The two officers headed toward their vehicles, and Luke pulled out his portable radio. “New Dublin 28 to Comm Center.”
“Go ahead 28,” the dispatcher at the Communications Center responded.
“Can you get me an ETA for that helicopter?”
“Stand by 28.” There was a momentary pause, and then she said, “Comm Center to 28. The ETA is six minutes.”
“Ten-four,” Luke acknowledged, and slid the radio back into its case on his belt.
“Excuse me, sir. I’m a doctor. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Luke turned around and looked down into dark-rimmed green eyes flecked with gold. They were eyes he remembered well, even after all these years. “Erin?” he asked in shock.
Erin blinked in surprise when he said her name, and briefly studied him. He was about six feet tall, with a lean, muscular frame. His face was boyishly handsome, and he had thick, slightly wavy, dark brown hair. His eyes were blue, azure blue, like a cloudless summer day. He wore civilian clothes, but had a holstered gun hanging from his belt, with a detective badge clipped on next to it. And as soon as she saw it she realized who he was. “Luke?”
He nodded, quickly shaking off his astonishment at seeing her. There was no time to contemplate those green eyes right now, or the warmth that filled him when he looked into them. A boy was dying.
“Yes, we can use your help. Come with me.” He motioned her down the gravel road, explaining as they ran, “Two sixteen-year-old boys decided to skip the last day of school and have a gunfight instead—an old-fashioned English duel actually. They were standing about 80 feet apart, and both were injured. One has a minor wound on his arm. The other kid took a bullet to the chest. He’s in bad shape.”
There were thick woods on either side of them, but Erin could see the road opened up into a large field about a hundred yards ahead. “What kind of guns?” she asked, doing her best to keep pace with his longer strides.
“Both were handguns. The kid with the chest wound got hit with a .38 Special. The other was a .45. I guess they couldn’t find any real dueling pistols around here.” Luke glanced at her curiously. “Do you know much about guns?”
