As he fought to bring the unruly desire under control, he became aware of a reedy squalling that grew more and more insistent. A baby’s cry. Lifting his head, he looked at the doorway, where Lady Phoebe Ravenel stood with a fussy infant in her arms.
Bugger me, he thought grimly.
The long, involved conversation he’d had with Merritt after breakfast had been full of revelations about the duke’s long-ago affair with Cordelia, Lady Ormonde, and its consequences—one of which was very likely Keir himself. Which meant the red-haired woman at the threshold could very well be his half sister, and the wailing imp in her arms his niece.
Having been raised by elderly parents, Keir had never expected a sibling. His rowdy pack of friends were his brothers, and the men at the distillery were his extended family. It was strange to think of having a sister. It shocked him, in fact, to realize that for the first time in his life, here was someone … a woman … with whom he might have a blood tie. And not just any woman, but an aristocratic lady. There was nothing for them to talk about, no experiences they had in common.
But as he stared at Lady Phoebe, she seemed like any ordinary young mother on Islay, who hadn’t had quite enough sleep and couldn’t always tell what her baby wanted. There was a smart, bright look about her—canty, a Scot would say, a word that suggested the dancing flicker of a candle flame.
“I’m so sorry,” Phoebe said, with a comical grimace, trying to soothe the fretting baby. “I thought we might stop by for a brief visit, but my daughter seems to have made other plans. Perhaps we’ll try again later.”
She was nervous, Keir thought. Just as he was. His gaze moved to the infant, squirming unhappily amid a bundle of white ruffles, her plump stockinged legs churning like a windmill. One of her little white shoes was missing. He couldn’t help smiling at the large pink bow on her head, which had been fastened around a wild tuft of carroty-red hair in a valiant attempt to tame it.
“Dinna rush off yet,” he said, and rose to his feet.
ANXIOUS TO HELP, Merritt hurried to Phoebe and the baby. “Is she hungry?” she asked.
Phoebe gave a frustrated shake of her head. “No, I fed her recently. Sometimes she has these spells, and there’s nothing to be done about it.” Looking rueful, she added, “Apparently I was the same.”
“Let me take her,” Merritt suggested. “I’ll walk her up and down the hallway while you and Mr. MacRae chat.”
“I think we’ll all be better off if I cart her off to the nursery.” Phoebe cast a regretful glance at Keir as he joined them. “I do beg your pardon, Mr. MacRae. The baby’s out of sorts and I can’t—”
“What’s her name?” he asked.
“Eden.”
To both women’s surprise, Keir reached out for the baby. Phoebe hesitated briefly before transferring the infant to his arms.
Keir settled the baby comfortably against one broad shoulder and began patting her tiny back in a steady rhythm. “Poor wee bairnie,” he murmured. “Now, now … dinna fret ye … dinna greet … fold your wings, birdikin, and nestle wi’ me for a bit …”
Merritt’s jaw dropped as she watched the big, rugged Scot begin to wander about the room with the baby. Merritt and Phoebe exchanged a look of astonishment as Eden’s wailing broke into snuffles.
A low sound caused the hairs on the back of Merritt’s neck to lift and tingle, and she realized Keir was singing softly to the baby in Scots. A haunting melody, sung in a dark and tender baritone that turned every bone in Merritt’s body molten. It was a miracle she didn’t sink into a puddle on the floor.
The baby went quiet.
“My God, Merritt,” Phoebe whispered with a wondering smile. “He’s marvelous.”
“Yes.” Merritt felt almost ill with yearning.
It was only now that she finally accepted the impossibility of ever being with him. Any faint, foolish hope she’d nurtured dissolved like a cloud of smoke. Even if every other obstacle between them were somehow overcome … Keir would want a family. Seeing him with the baby made that clear. He would want his own children, the one thing she could never give him. And even if he were willing to make such a sacrifice, she would never allow it. This man deserved a perfect life.
Especially after all that had been taken from him.
As Keir made his way back to them, Merritt painstakingly tucked away all signs of her despair, although it kept threatening to spill out like clothes from an overpacked valise.
“Thank you,” Phoebe said fervently at the sight of her daughter slumbering against the crook of Keir’s neck.
“Sometimes a new pair of arms does the trick,” Keir replied matter-of-factly.
“How did you learn to do that?” Phoebe asked.
“I have friends with bairnies of their own.” Keir paused, his expression a bit sheepish as he continued. “I suppose I have a knack for putting them to sleep. There’s no magic to it. Only a bit of patting and singing and walking.”
“What were you singing?” Merritt asked. “A lullaby?”
“An old song from the islands, about a selkie.” Seeing the word was unfamiliar, he explained, “A changeling, who looks like a seal in the water but takes the form of a man on land. In the song he woos a human maiden, who gives birth to his son. Seven years later, he comes back to take the child.” Keir hesitated before adding absently, “But before they leave, the selkie tells the mother he’ll give the boy a gold chain to wear on his neck, so she’ll recognize him if they meet someday.”
“Are she and her son ever reunited?” Merritt asked.
Keir shook his head. “Someone brings her the gold chain one day, and she realizes he’s dead. Shot by—” He broke off as he saw Merritt’s face begin to crumple. “Och,” he exclaimed softly. “No … dinna do that …”
“It’s so terribly sad,” she said in a watery voice, damning herself for being emotional.
A chuckle broke from Keir as he moved closer. “I won’t tell you the rest, then.” His hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb wiping at an escaping tear. “’Tis only a song, lass. Ah, you’ve a tender heart.” His blue eyes sparkled as he looked down at her. “I warn you, no more tears or I’ll have to put you on my shoulder and pat you asleep as I did the bairnie.”
It left Merritt temporarily speechless, that he sincerely seemed to believe she would regard that as a threat.
She heard a quiet sound of amusement from Phoebe, who knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Let’s sit by the fire and chat,” Phoebe suggested brightly, “and I’ll send for tea. I want to hear about your island, Mr. MacRae, and what it was like growing up there.”
Chapter 22
ON THE FOURTH DAY after Keir had recovered from the fever, he was well enough to walk down to the beach cove with Merritt. A sunken lane led from the house to a path that opened onto a beach of fine sand, spread beneath a blue taffeta sky. Farther on the west side, the shore graded to pebble and shingle before rising into a white chalk cliff. The beach had a well-tended look, as if someone had sifted and cleaned the sand, and filed the edges of the tide pools. Even the grasses of the dunes were orderly, as if someone had run a giant comb through them.
Although Keir would always prefer his island to anywhere else in the world, he had to admit this place had its own magic. There was a softness about the air and sun, a trance of mist that made everything luminous. Lowering to his haunches, he ran his palm back and forth over the fine golden sand, so different from the caster-sugar grains of the beaches on Islay.
At Merritt’s quizzical glance, he dusted his hands and smiled crookedly. “’Tis quiet,” he explained. “On the shore near my home, it sings.”
“The sand sings?” Merritt asked, perplexed.
“Aye. When you move it with your foot or hand, or the wind blows over it, the sand makes a sound. Some say it’s more like a squeak, or whistle.”
“What makes it do that?”
“’Tis pure quartz, and the grains are all the same size. A scientist coul
d explain it. But I’d rather call it magic.”
“Do you believe in magic?”
Keir stood and smiled into her upturned face. “No, but I like the wonderments of life. Like the ghost fire that shines on a ship’s mast at storm’s end, or the way a bird’s instinct leads him to his wintering grounds each year. I enjoy such things better for no’ understanding them.”
“Wonderments,” Merritt repeated, seeming to relish the word.
As they walked idly along the shore, while sandpipers darted and pecked at the tide wash, Keir was filled with an ease he hadn’t known since boyhood. A holiday feeling. He’d never gone this long without working in his adult life. But he knew the sense of well-being came mostly from the woman beside him.
Talking with Merritt was like slipping into one of those silk-lined borrowed coats from the Challons. Comfortable, luxurious. She was whip-smart, understanding the details, the unsaid words. She had a way of wrapping people in empathy that extended to everyone from the duke down to the young assistant groundskeeper. It was the kind of charm that made people feel wittier, more attractive, more interesting, in her reflected glow. Keir was doing his level best to resist her lure.
But he was so drawn to her, so damned besotted.
He adored her fancy words … “prevarication” … “resplendent” … her easy smiles … her perfumed wrists and throat. She was like a beautiful gift that begged to be unwrapped. Just being near her made the blood sing in his veins. Last night, the mere thought of her naked, along with just a few strokes of his own hand, had been enough to bring him to a shuddering, bone-jarring climax—an experiment he’d regretted when his ribs had instantly burned as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to them. And yet he still craved her, worse now than yesterday.
To protect himself, he tried to keep barriers between them. He did his best not to confide in her, nor did he invite confidences. He was friendly but polite, surrounding his heart with steel-plate armor and hoping that would be enough to keep it safe. If not … he’d end up ruined for any other woman.
He had to leave soon, or it would be too late. It might already be.
IN THE AFTERNOON, Keir spent time with Phoebe in the family parlor. She played with the baby on a quilt spread across the floor, while Keir occupied a comfortable chair nearby. He’d taken an immediate liking to Phoebe, who was friendly and straightforward, with a sharp edge of humor. She shared the running of an Essex estate with her husband and could talk so easily about ordinary subjects, like farming and husbandry, that Keir could almost forget she was the daughter of a duke.
“I thought you might want to see this,” Phoebe said, nudging a weighty leather-bound book across the low table in front of him.
“What is it? A scrapbook?”
“A photograph album of my family.” She paused before correcting herself. “Our family.”
Keir shook his head, refusing to touch the album. “I dinna see the need.”
Her brows lifted. “You’re not the least bit curious about your own relations? You have no questions? You don’t even want to look at them?”
“We may not be kin. No one can put it to hard proof.”
“Hogwash.” Phoebe gave him a sardonic glance. “A preponderance of circumstantial evidence meets the legal standard of proof, and in your case, there’s more than enough to erase all reasonable doubt.” She paused before adding gently, “As you’d already know, if you would just talk with Father.”
Keir frowned and reached out to a lamp on a table beside his chair, playing with the beaded fringe trim on the shade. He’d had little interaction with Kingston so far, and never just the two of them, for which he was thankful. He wasn’t ready for the uncomfortable and inevitable conversation that awaited them.
Fortunately, the duke hadn’t been inclined to press the issue, probably because his days were too damned busy as it was. Every morning he read a mountain of reports and correspondence, dictated to a private secretary, and dispatched a footman to post letters and telegrams. In the afternoons, there were meetings with tenants, tradesmen, or estate managers, and sometimes with people who’d come from London or beyond.
At the end of the day, however, all business was set aside, and it was time for relaxation. They would all gather for dinner at a table weighted with silver and crystal and lit with abundant candles. White-gloved footmen would bring out marvelous dishes … platters heaped with succulent red-and-white shrimp, called pandles by locals, still smoking-hot from the gridiron … tureens of bisque sprinkled with tender shreds of Chi-chester lobster … Amberley trout spangled with toasted almond slices, served directly from the pan onto the plates. There were endless varieties of fresh vegetables, and salads chopped as fine as confetti, and bread served with newly churned butter, and platters of local cheese and hothouse fruit for dessert. Keir had never eaten so well in his life.
The invalid menu, of course, had been swiftly discarded. Keir had filled his plate with defiantly generous portions, his gaze daring Merritt to object, and she had only smiled wryly, letting him have his way. Ah, he liked her so damned much. She might be a wee bully when it came to certain matters, but she was never a nag.
“Are you going to talk to Father?” Phoebe persisted, bringing his thoughts back to the present.
“He hasn’t asked me to,” Keir muttered.
“He’s waiting for you to ask.”
“I dinna know what he wants. He has enough sons. There’s nothing I could give him he doesn’t already have, and nothing I need from him.”
“Must it be a transaction? Can’t you simply accept the relationship, and enjoy whatever it turns out to be?”
“Oh, aye,” he said sarcastically, “I’ll enjoy it like a trout being guddled.”
“Guddled?”
“’Tis when you stand in a stream, near a boulder or steep bank, and ease your bare hand into the water beneath the trout. After a while, you start to tickle his belly and chin with your fingertips. When you’ve won his trust, and he relaxes to your hand, you shove your fingers into the gills, haul him out, and soon he’s in a hot pan with butter and salt.”
Phoebe laughed. “My father …” she began, and paused. “Well, I suppose he is something of a guddler. But you won’t end up in the pan. Family is everything to him. When he was a young boy, he lost his mother and four sisters to scarlet fever, and was sent away to boarding school. He grew up very much alone. So he would do anything to protect or help the people he cares about.”
She hefted the album into Keir’s lap, and watched as he began to leaf through it dutifully.
Keir’s gaze fell to a photograph of the Challons relaxing on the beach. There was Phoebe at a young age, sprawling in the lap of a slender, laughing mother with curly hair. Two blond boys sat beside her, holding small shovels with the ruins of a sandcastle between them. A grinning fair-haired toddler was sitting squarely on top of the sandcastle, having just squashed it. They’d all dressed in matching bathing costumes, like a crew of little sailors.
Coming to perch on the arm of the chair, Phoebe reached down to turn pages and point out photographs of her siblings at various stages of their childhood. Gabriel, the responsible oldest son … followed by Raphael, carefree and rebellious … Seraphina, the sweet and imaginative younger sister … and the baby of the family, Ivo, a red-haired boy who’d come as a surprise after the duchess had assumed childbearing years were past her.
Phoebe paused at a tintype likeness of the duke and duchess seated together. Below it, the words “Lord and Lady St. Vincent” had been written. “This was taken before my father inherited the dukedom,” she said.
Kingston—Lord St. Vincent back then—sat with an arm draped along the back of the sofa, his face turned toward his wife. She was a lovely woman, with an endearing spray of freckles across her face and a smile as vulnerable as the heartbeat in an exposed wrist.
Keir’s gaze lifted to Phoebe’s classically beautiful face, with clean-chiseled angles inherited from her father. “You favor hi
m more than her,” he said.
“You favor him more than anyone,” she replied gently. “The resemblance is too close to be coincidence. You can’t deny it.”
Keir let out a quiet groan. “I’m nothing like him or the rest of you. My world is different than yours.”
Phoebe’s mouth twisted. “One would think you’d been brought up on a pirate ship, or another planet. You’re Scottish, that’s all. You were only raised a few latitudes north of here.” She paused. “I’m not even sure you’re technically Scottish.”
Keir gave her a blank look.
“The only Celtic ancestors on the Challon side are Welsh,” she explained. “I’ve looked up your mother’s family, the Roystons and the Plaskitts, and according to Debrett’s Peerage, there’s no Scottish blood in either lineage.”
“I’m no’ a Scot?” he asked numbly.
Whatever Phoebe saw in his face caused her to say hastily, “I’ve only gone back two generations.”
Keir dropped his head in his hands.
“Is something wrong with your lungs?” Now she sounded worried. “You’re wheezing.”
He shook his head, breathing through his fingers.
“I’ll look farther up on your family tree,” he heard Phoebe say firmly. “I’ll find a Scottish ancestor. I have no doubt you’re as Scottish as … as a leprechaun wearing a kilt, riding a unicorn through a field of thistle.”
Keir looked up long enough to tell her dourly, “Leprechauns are Irish,” before he dropped his head again.
Chapter 23
BY THE END OF the second week at Heron’s Point, Keir was chafing to go home. He was tired of relaxing, tired of soothing scenery and luxurious rooms and days of unrelenting sexual frustration. He wanted a blast of cold sea air in the face, and chimney smoke fragrant with peat, and the sound of familiar accents, and the sight of rocky hills with their shoulders in the clouds. He missed his distillery, his work, his friends. He missed the old version of himself, a man who’d known exactly who he was and what he wanted. This new version was riddled with uncertainty and torn loyalties, and wracked with desire for a woman he could never have.
Devil in Disguise Page 17
