There was no escaping the fact that Noah owed Doc his continued humanity, something he had just realized was perhaps worth more than his life. If Noah kept falling deeper, becoming more Worm than himself, he might end up a true member of the Red Chain. In the past, he had wondered if other members of the Red Chain had started out like him, and now he was sure of it.
Right now, Noah didn’t have any power, but he knew where he might be able to get some. He had another important, life-shaking choice to make now, but the decision was obvious. Even if he failed at claiming power for himself, or for his friend, he had to make sure Redford didn't gain any more.
The young man had made up his mind—he needed to steal the orb back.
Chapter 5
Noah waited silently, watching the rest of the Red Chain pack. The raiders were preparing to travel the last leg of their trip to trade with the Iron Wolves. Luckily, he’d already had months of practice at staying practically invisible. His chores were done–he had already chained up the new slaves-to-be, some of whom seemed to be amused, or satisfied that Noah looked far worse than they did. They were more valuable to the Chain now than he was. None of the raiders were asking why one of their lieutenants had been ordered to stay behind with Doc, though the tense atmosphere was thick with the unasked question.
How the heck am I going to get that orb? Noah asked himself for the hundredth time. At least everyone was distracted at the moment. Still, if he didn’t steal the orb, Redford was going to kill Doc - one way or the other. The man’s days were numbered—two weeks more to live. Noah hadn’t wanted to believe that Redford would risk the life of the Red Chain’s only medical professional on such a gambit. But the look he’d seen in the raider leader’s eyes when Doc had mentioned the Aelves, had forced him to admit the truth. That glimmer in the other man’s eyes had been haunting–fascination mixed with a relentless hunger for survival.
Noah quietly witnessed Redford giving another ‘lecture’ accompanied with a beating to another member of the Red Chain. If Noah was going to do anything he had to do it while the leader of the Red Chain was otherwise occupied. The big man moved silently, like a ninja, and always seemed to turn up where he was least expected.
The young man had achieved clarity…he had a goal. Now he knew the "what" but was still working out the “how.” After his conversations with Doc, Noah couldn’t tolerate being Worm anymore. He hated being Worm. Worm didn’t hurt people directly but might as well.
I can use Worm to my advantage. Noah thought. I have to. As Worm, he was normally invisible to the others unless a lieutenant or a foreman needed something from him, but people paid even less attention to Worm after he took a beating.
Noah imagined the rest of his life playing out if he didn't go through with his convictions. Doc would die and ‘Noah’ with him, only Worm would remain. He would become a true Red Chain member, maybe even being like Redford one day, spouting nonsense about pain to justify beating on new members of his group. Noah had thought he’d hit rock bottom before, but Doc Broad’s situation made him realize that he had further to go. Honestly, now was his last chance to do something, anything that would give him a different path.
He had no plan, only a need to take the orb. Enough thought turned into action, and his legs began carrying him forward. Noah didn't think through what he was doing, so it was almost with a bit of surprise that he suddenly found himself standing in front of Talbot. Curiously, Noah felt a weird, alien sort of confidence.
Talbot turned to him and demanded, “Do you need another beating, Worm? “
“No, sir,” Noah replied, letting the words come out smooth. He’d just quickly realized that he’d spent most of his life lying to himself. Maybe now he could deceive someone else, channel it. “I was just going to ask Doc if I could borrow a book. I’ve been reading the astronomy book about stars. Maybe I can learn more about it while we’re away from the cabin.”
“Why the heck would I allow you to do that?” Talbot snarled.
That’s a good question, Noah realized. He also saw the perpetual paranoia crossing Talbot's face, his unibrow curling at the center. However, in the man’s eyes, Noah noticed a glimmer of disdain borne from understanding, maybe a little echo of something. Talbot had once been in a similar position as himself, a Worm, useless. Noah could use it.
“Sir,” Noah responded, “You and Boss have kept me alive since I came in, and I want to be more useful. Nobody ever needed to give me a leather jacket, and I appreciate that. You were right before about my bad attitude. I just thought that by studying the stars and learning how to navigate them, it could help me learn to be a scout, you know, let us know what our position is. Maybe it could help us navigate faster, or even find new water sources faster. I just don't want to be useless, and this is one way I can help, I think.”
He said it in a way that made him sound nervous, but it didn’t require much acting. Noah was improvising on the spot, something he hadn't done in years. Before the Shift, his parents had always told them him that he should be a politician one day. Apparently, he’d had a reputation as a teen for all the bullshit he could come up with.
Noah let the silence hang between them as Talbot searched his face. Finally, the goateed man growled and looked away. “Screw it,” he said. “Just grab the darn thing and hurry back, or else Boss won’t even have to tell me to beat the shit out of you. I’ll crack you so hard you'll never get back up. You think you’re useless now? Piss me off one more time…”
“Understood, sir,” Noah said, surprised by the Red Chain foreman’s response. Noah didn't thank the man as he walked past, realizing that would have been laying it on a little too thick. Talbot’s paranoia was probably even higher than normal with the change between Doc and Redford, so he had to be even more keyed up than usual.
On the back porch, Noah found Doc smoking a cigarette as he rolled the orb in his hand. The thin man gave Noah an odd look as his babysitting Red Chain foreman stopped Worm in his tracks, standing in his way. Talbot was the number one foreman, but this man was one of the other two leaders of the Red Chain under Red. The black man standing in Noah’s way was the tallest member of the Chain, his hands riddled with scars. Noah didn’t know his name, just his reputation for being joyless and decisive. This would be his first time ever talking with the guy.
The man barked, “What are you doing here?” Light glinted from his freshly-shaved scalp, and his hands flexed.
“Talbot told me to get the astronomy book from the Doc, so I could learn more about the stars and help us navigate easier. He said that we need better scouts, sir. Should I get him for you?”
The Red Chain foreman glanced at the closed door behind Noah that led back to where his superior, Talbot would be. The foreman took an immediate step back, his eyes going flat with nervousness. Noah found cold pleasure in seeing the large man’s reaction. “Screw that,” said the foreman with a frown. “Grab it and get out of here.”
Doc Broad leaned forward, no doubt curious about what Noah was doing. He had to know that the youth was not really visiting for the astronomy book. The spare, intelligent man watched Noah pick up the book next to the telescope with slow, deliberate motions. Doc bit his cigarette, probably trying to play it cool.
Noah walked over to Doc and tried to signal at him with blinks. You’re being too obvious! he screamed mentally. Just act normal! Out loud he asked, “Did you really mean what you said about the stars? That they are all misaligned?” Before Doc could answer, he mouthed the words, Give me the orb.
Doc Broad didn't even hesitate to push the orb into his hand, which Noah then put into the center of the book as he folded it as best he could. Doc sucked hard on his cigarette and gazed into the night sky like something was really interesting up there. It took all Noah could do not to groan. Doc was a great guy, and super smart, but he was a really crappy actor. He kept holding his breath too and probably didn’t release the smoke in his lungs until he couldn’t hold it anymore.
When Noa
h came out on the other side of the cabin, Talbot glared, probably checking for the astronomy book. Noah was terrified of being caught, but he didn’t fight it. He let the fear take over, putting on a show for the first foreman of the Red Chain. The young man kept his eyes glued to the ground as he passed by Talbot. Walking past the man was one of the most nerve-wracking few minutes of his life. He then passed by several members of the Red Chain and even Redford himself, who was still lecturing some of the raiders on the nature of pain again.
It wasn’t until Noah finally got past the perimeter that the Red Chain controlled that his situation became truly real to him. He was alone now–completely alone. He quickly palmed the orb from inside the astronomy book and slipped it into his pocket, riding the familiar wave of static that rippled through his body. He didn’t have time to enjoy the rush of sounds that came with the feeling, the clarity of the world singing in his ears. No, now was his chance. With no second thoughts, orb in hand, Noah broke for the deep forest.
He knew it wouldn’t take long for the Red Chain to realize he had stolen the orb. Noah sprinted through the woods, certain he had saved Doc’s life. All the blame would be on Noah. After the Shift, his entire life had just been a movie he watched while stuck in his own head. He had been watching through that lens, willing to allow the world to direct him, like he watched himself through Doc’s telescope. But now he was thinking about someone else, and his body just seemed to keep acting on its own.
The fear was still there, lingering like a foul cloud overhead, but Noah had confronted it, used it. He knew he was going to die, but he couldn't stand living life as Worm anymore. No more letting others use fear as a weapon. Nothing could protect him from the realities of the world post-Shift, but if he couldn’t control how he died, at least he could control how he lived. If you’re going to die, he confirmed to himself, you might as well die as Noah.
The desperate youth held the purple orb like it was the only thing keeping him alive—in a way, it was.
On a practical level, the orb helped him navigate the forest as he ran as fast as he could with his weak, malnourished legs. He headed towards areas where sound traveled freely, where his frail body wouldn’t have to fight to push through underbrush. He had learned to stay away from pockets of dampened sound, an indicator of areas heavy with vegetation or ditches.
Even with the help of the orb, his hands and face got scraped bloody by twigs and bushes as he barreled through the forest. Although his body was weak, Noah’s grip on the orb was steel-like. Over the past few months, he’d wondered why he had been able to heal faster the more he used the orb. He’d also marveled at how the orb responded to the tuneless song in his head, the music with no name. He hadn't heard music in years, but he could feel it through the orb, singing the rhythms back to him.
The orb’s response to songs in his head had been one of the only things keeping him sane the last few months in the Red Chain. It had reminded him of his old life, one with music. Fear of being caught mixed with the elation of successfully stealing the orb, making his heart flutter. Noah savagely slapped himself–he needed to focus on his escape. “What should I do?” he breathlessly muttered to himself. “Ah, yes!” Then he focused on the tuneless song in his head, drowning out the overwhelming terror that had crippled him his entire life after the Shift.
The purple orb pulsed in his hand and then through his entire body, touching every cell with the reverberation of the song in his head. Energy rippled through him like a small town hit by a tsunami. Suddenly, Noah realized that his breath was becoming more even, less ragged. No way, he thought. His eyes widened in shock, but his pace didn’t flag, in fact, he was able to speed up a little. This was really happening; the orb was healing him and giving him energy even while he ran.
Even as he fled through the forest, he couldn’t help but experiment. The more space he gave his mind for doubts or fear, the less power the orb gave him. The more he thought about the nameless song, the better he felt. The song, Noah realized. It wasn't his focus on the orb that had made the object help him more before. It had been the song. He didn't understand any of it, but he needed to use every advantage now to survive. He wanted to live, and eventually die as Noah. Hopefully, the dying part wouldn’t come any time soon.
In addition to helping Noah find his way through the forest, the mysterious sphere also fed him energy, letting him maintain a breakneck pace. The young man had an odd sensation that the orb could do much more, but this was all he could manage at the moment. Angry shouts from the Red Chain echoed behind him in the forest, audible to his enhanced hearing. He couldn't tell exactly how far they were because the sounds were so distant now.
Despite the energy the orb was giving him, Noah was resigned that he wouldn't be able to outrun the Red Chain forever. If the Red Chain didn’t find him, some equally bad, or worse, group would. His body had become too weak after the Shift–heck, his body had been weak before the Shift. He could feel his legs beginning to tighten up despite the orb’s aid.
In high school, Noah had fantasized about working out and lifting weights with all the jocks on the football team. Tomorrow, he had told himself. Tomorrow, I’ll start exercising. Instead, Noah had focused on mathematics, gaming, and chess club - easy escapes for him. But even in chess club, he had been an outsider. He hadn’t even been that good at chess. Instead, he’d just liked that including himself, only four people were in the club. Three other people were manageable. Three chess nerds couldn’t hurt him.
The Shift hadn't changed Noah so much as it had revealed how frightened he was of other people. But more recently, he had feared something even more…himself. He hated how his weakness had allowed others to use him. He’d hated how weakness had prevented him from living.
The truth was that Noah had always regretted not doing sports in high school, the Shift had just forced him to admit it. He had never pushed himself. His spirit was willing now and he felt a certain sense of joy in having faced his fear, but his body was weak. Noah knew he was close to the end. If he faltered, the Chain would get him. That would be bad.
Noah wasn't so much afraid of the rank-and-file members of the Red Chain, or the foremen, not even Talbot. They were just like Noah had been as Worm, slaves to their own fears, focused on base survival. No, just like everyone else in the Red Chain, Noah was truly afraid of Redford. The man with the scarred upper lip seemed to find joy in giving pain and lecturing on it, teaching suffering. Noah had watched Redford hunting potential slaves countless times while the man had had a sick smile plastered across his face, twisting his features.
Redford had been a hunter before the Shift and was skilled at tracking. Unlike the other members of the Chain who all more or less carried crossbows, Red always used a sleek compound bow. Noah kept half expecting one of the man’s deadly arrows to go zipping by. No matter how he focused on his mental song, some of the fear kept nagging at the corner of his mind. Every step he took, every branch he broke during his flight would tell Redford where he was going. The man was relentless.
Noah wasn’t sure what to do, or if escape long-term would even be possible. Sobering reality had come crashing down on him. Thinking about it wasn’t helping, so he just kept repeating the special song in this head and expanding his mind, accepting to the sounds of the forest. He heard everything; the night wind making leaves scratch against each other, the neighing of the raiders’ horses behind him as they pursued, even the Red Chain members warning each other of traps in the area that they’d set. Between all those noises were pockets of flat sound, open areas. He wove through the forest, rushing through open areas ahead, sticking to clearings.
Suddenly, he blinked and thought, Wait, what? Traps? He mentally focused on some of the raiders’ shouted warning and stopped running. His knees shook from his non-stop sprinting, legs shaking in exhaustion. The orb could give him energy and heal him somewhat, but it could only do so much. Noah’s weak body was definitely holding him back.
The Red Chain members
behind him mentioned traps again, but they were still too far for Noah to really make out what they were saying. What kind of traps do they have? Now he wondered if he might land in a bear trap or something. The orb would not be able to warn him of traps like that, but—
Noah expanded his mind as much as he could and listened for the absence of sound, or where sound was dampened. Then he began running again, flying past trees, somehow hearing the dead wood inside some of their trunks. Bigger silence, Noah thought. I need more dampened sound. There has to be one. Even with the energy of the orb, Noah found himself getting more and more exhausted. His thin legs wouldn't take him very far.
His half-cocked plan was stupid, terrible, and would probably get him killed, but he didn’t have any other choice. He needed to find it, needed to find that absence of sound. There, Noah thought, his breath giving out. Then he plummeted into a hole.
***
Chris stared at the night sky illuminated by stars, stars that were wrong. Even without his astronomy book, he could see the misalignments, especially with his telescope. He really hadn’t known much about stars before the Shift, but he had learned a lot.
When Noah had brought him the purple orb and explained what it did, it had renewed a sense of vigor, of purpose inside Christopher. But now, not only was the orb gone, Noah had fled too.
It had been three days since the boy had escaped. Redford had doggedly given chase. The leader of the Red Chain had come back several times unannounced, sometimes dragging a younger member of his group he’d disciplined for Chris to heal. Red had still never hurt Chris—he was the only person with medical training who could clean up potential slaves for sale to the Iron Wolves. Chris had never lied to himself; he knew the slavers left him unmolested out of convenience. Red could probably find another medically trained person, but trust didn’t come freely. The man didn’t understand Chris at all, but he seemed to accept that his motivations were altruistic. Of course, all of this had ended once the Red Chain leader had found out about the orb. Any object that could give him an edge against other raiders, much less the Aelves, would be precious indeed. Chris had seen the fear flash in the leader of the Chain’s eyes. There probably wasn’t a single man in the world who wasn’t afraid of Aelves…unless they were really stupid.
First Song Page 4
