by Aleo, Toni
“I remember looking into your eyes and being like, ‘Man, this chick can do anything and save the world. She needs to be a mother.’ And now you are.”
I can’t breathe or even speak. I wrap my arms around her, and she hugs me tightly.
When there is a knock at the door, we part to see Jude coming in with a white bundle tucked in his arm. “I broke him out. They kept poking him and shit. It was rude.”
Tristan laughs as I wipe my face. When she looks up at me, her brows come in. “What?”
“Can we have a picture of the four of us?”
A slow smile covers her pretty face. “Yes, of course.”
She hits the call button as Jude hands Harrison to me. A nurse comes in, and Tristan asks, “Can you take a picture of us?”
“Yes! I would love to.”
I sit on the side of the bed, and Tristan leans into me as Jude comes to cuddle in close to us. Tristan reaches over, moving the blanket out of Harrison’s face, and then she looks up at me. “He’s gorgeous.”
“He’s perfect,” I agree, and she grins, tears in her eyes.
“You guys are going to be the best parents in the world.”
“Because of you,” I whisper, and then I lean my head into hers.
We then look at the phone Jude has handed the nurse, and once I hear the click of the camera, I know this picture is going in the living room.
For it’s of the day our dreams came true.
Harrison River Phillip Sinclair
Jude
“You’re like two weeks old. How are you shitting so much?”
There are only half of the wipes left in the box, and I have two diapers on my shoulders. One that I’ll mess up and then the one that will work. Naked as the day he was born, Harrison looks up at me with his dark eyes, probably trying to figure out what the hell I am doing.
Makes two of us.
“Poo-poo!” Claire yells from the other room, and I roll my eyes as my son looks up at me like he knows I have no clue what the fuck is going on.
I don’t.
You’d think with all the practice I’ve had with my nieces and nephews, I’d have this. Truth is, I’ve never changed a diaper. I didn’t tell Claire that, though. I just YouTubed a few things and demanded to be a daddy. I have to get in where I fit in because when I leave for the road, this will all be on Claire, and I want the experiences. I want it all.
I’m a fucking dad.
So cool.
I wipe the shit that is still coming from my son’s ass and let out a long sigh. “I thought you were done shitting.”
“Poo-poo!” she yells more sternly, and at this point, I’m about to throw this poo-poo at her.
“Babe, I’m a hockey player. One, I do not say poo-poo. And two, cuss words are sentence enhancers!” I holler back at her. “I’ll teach you all the good ways to use them, don’t worry,” I assure him.
He farts. Loudly. He isn’t the least bit worried… And look, more shit.
“On the ice only, buddy. Harry will be a prince.”
He pisses on me. I yell out as I throw a wipe over his privates. I point to him. “That is not very royal, mister.”
Though, I can’t help but grin. I love him. Shit, piss, spit up, everything, I love the little bugger. I lean down, cuddling his head as I press my nose to his. His deep brown eyes meet mine, and I never thought I could feel like this. I love Claire. Like, love that woman more than I love myself, but with this guy, it’s bone-deep. He’s my dude. We’ll get to do everything together. We’ll get to hit the ice, we’ll talk girls, and I’ll teach him everything I know. He’ll want my bike, and we’ll hide it from Claire because she’ll freak. He’s gonna be the coolest kid on the planet, and I can’t wait to get to know him.
Gotta get through this shitting and pissing thing, though.
“Why did you use half the box?”
I look up to find Claire standing over us with her phone in her hand. “That’s for the ’gram ’cause the world needs to know how hot my husband is as a dad.”
I grin before kissing his little nose. “He keeps pooping. Are you sure he can drink some other chick’s milk?”
“Yes. It’s in all the books and research. Seriously. It’s gonna be so good for his body, and these amazing women pump just for people like us. It’s wonderful for him.”
I think it’s a wee bit weird, but Claire is very gung ho on it. I didn’t even know there were milk banks like that, but I haven’t researched the hell out of being a parent like Claire has.
That’s what makes her better than me.
I sit up as she cleans around me. “Babe, he shit on—”
“Ha! You said shit.” I smirk.
She glares as she pushes her strawberry-blond hair out of her face. “Shut up,” she demands as she shakes her head. “You got it all over the blanket again. They’re gonna kick us out of this hotel.”
“Which is why I said we should have stayed with Stacey and Ripp.”
She looks at me with a blank expression. “A pair of newlyweds? No way. I want them to have kids one day. It’s only three more days.”
Our house sold very quickly since one of the guys bought it. He said we could stay until after our doctor’s appointment since all our stuff is already in Florida, but Claire wants him to get married and have kids too. She’s all about people procreating. I’m all about being comfortable, but apparently that wasn’t a consideration when she decided two days after our son was born to bring him home to a Marriott. Good shit for the baby book, though. Perfect hockey-kid kind of shit. Or, I mean, poo.
“You don’t need the whole box, baby,” she reprimands as she quickly moves around me, cleaning Harrison’s butt and diapering him like it’s her calling.
“Half. I only used half.”
I glare at her as she picks him up.
“One wipe, maybe two. Promise. You’re doing so awesome. Wait, is that shit in his hair?”
It is. “Poo,” I say, all sassy-assy.
“Shut the hell up,” she throws back at me as she heads to the bathroom.
“Oh, so we can say hell?”
She ignores me as the water starts, and I finish cleaning my mess. This shit is hard, and holy fuck, I’m exhausted, but I’m deliriously happy. As I toss my mess, I hear my phone on the counter in the kitchen. I jog out to it since it’s my mom’s ringtone. When I answer it, I hear a whole lot of talking on the other side.
“I have no damn clue. Look at the pictures Claire sent. Baylor, nobody got time for that mouth! Jamieson, baby, I love you more than life itself, but if you don’t get your little body off that white couch with those shoes… Didn’t anyone tell them you can’t have white stuff with kids? River, River, no! I said in the kitchen. Yes, thank you, Phillip. Get him under control—you know he’s old! Avery, get your kid, please! For the love of God, Jayden, Jace, can y’all act your age? Be an example for the boys! Jesus, this is a madhouse!”
I can’t help but laugh. “Mom?”
“Oh, sorry, honey. How are you?” she says calmly and very Autumn-like. “Lucy! We don’t have time for you to be changing things up. I want Claire to be happy when she gets here! We are making a home, people! Focus!”
I laugh some more. “Mom? What in the world is going on?”
“Well, you see what happened was, I decided to have everyone come and help get the house ready for y’all. It’s turned into a cluster of crazy people who all think they’re right when, really, only Reese and I are right.”
I grin. “You’re the best, Mom.”
Her voice breaks a bit. “How’s my baby?”
“He’s wonderful. Claire is a pro, Mom, I don’t even get it. I’m in awe of her.”
“She’s waited a long time for this,” she says softly, the background noise falling away. She must have gone outside. “Both of you have. I can’t wait to meet him. I love him so much already.”
“He shits a lot, and Claire won’t let me say shit.”
She laughs. “We
ll, she’s right.”
“Whatever,” I say with a crooked grin.
“How’s Tristan? Have y’all talked to her?”
“Yeah, we actually went to see her yesterday. She’s a damn rock star in my eyes, and she’s doing good. She still won’t hold him.”
“That’s probably for the best. For her, at least.”
“I think Claire really wants a picture of them together.”
“She might not get it.”
“I don’t think she will,” I say softly, and I know that breaks Claire’s heart. She wants so badly for Tristan to care, to be a part of Harrison’s life, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Tristan’s detached herself completely, and I respect that. I love her for it. It means Harrison is truly ours. But unfortunately, Claire doesn’t see it that way.
“When is the doctor’s appointment?”
“Tomorrow,” I say, and I feel my gut tense up a bit. “Not looking forward to it.”
“So, you don’t think she is?”
“No,” I say softly. “She hasn’t been sick. She’s tired, but that’s from being up with Harrison and all.”
“Yeah,” she says gently. “I’m sorry, baby. I know you guys were hoping it would happen this time.”
I shrug. “To be honest, I just want her to be happy. She hasn’t really talked about it, and I think that’s for the best. We’ll go, they’ll say no, and we’ll start fresh in Florida. Our doctor has found us a center that she thinks is as good as hers, and we’ll start going there. Though, I think we’re really gonna buckle down and find a surrogate.”
I hear her swallow. “Is it bad that I’m holding out hope she is pregnant?”
“No,” I say with a chuckle. “I think a part of me is hoping too.”
She exhales heavily. “I love you, Jude, so damn much. You’ve always been my favorite.”
I laugh. She says that to all of us. “I love you, Mom. Thanks for being so supportive and for helping with everything.”
“Of course,” she says eagerly. “I want this to be a smooth transition. Though, Lucy might be the death of me. She is trying to redo Harrison’s room.”
“Let her. Who cares?”
She laughs. “You have a soft spot for your sister.”
“She’s wonderful.”
I can hear the smile in her voice. “All of you are.”
I hear a sliding door before my brother-in-law Benji’s voice comes over the phone. “Hey, Mom, things are getting spotty in here. They’re ganging up on Reese.”
“Oh, Jesus, come and take me now,” she mutters, and I laugh out loud.
“Go get ’em, Mom.”
“Tell Claire I love her, give that baby loads of kisses from his Mimi, and I’ll see you guys in a few days.”
“Love you, Mom.”
“Love you, darling.”
The line goes dead, and I tuck my phone into my pocket. When I turn, Claire is there with Harrison in her arms, watching me. Harrison is clean, dressed, and looking pretty damn perfect, way better than he did when I was in control. I sigh dramatically. “Can you teach me your ways?”
She grins as she walks into my arms, cuddling close as I lay a hand on the back of Harrison’s head. “You’re doing wonderful.”
“I suck at this.”
“No, really, baby,” she says, looking up at me and nuzzling her nose in my unshaven cheek. “You’re doing great.”
I kiss her forehead, running my thumb along the back of Harrison’s neck. I exhale, feeling complete. I kiss her once more, my lips at her ear as I whisper, “Did you hear me on the phone?”
“I did,” she says softly. “I love your mom.”
“She’s your mom too.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything. “I’m nervous about the appointment ’cause I’m pretty sure I’m not.”
“I know. Me too.”
She kisses the top of Harrison’s head. “I’ll be sad.”
“I know, but I’ll love you extra hard to make it a little better.”
She leans her nose into my jaw. “Good. I need you.”
“Funny… I need you too.” Our eyes meet, and we smile widely at each other. “I love you, Mama.”
She grins harder, her eyes glazing over. “I love you, Daddy.”
Claire kisses my lips, and I revel in her kisses. I crave them. I always have. When we part, I kiss her nose before we look down at Harrison.
“And we love you.”
“So damn much,” I say, ignoring the dirty look from my wife. “Sentence enhancer! He knows I mean business in the love department.”
She laughs as she rolls her eyes. “We all do.”
And we always will.
Coming Home
Claire
Tristan: I’m so glad you guys landed. Good luck on your new adventure. I miss you already.
Me: I miss you! How’d that final go?
Tristan: Good, I passed somehow.
Me: ’Cause you’re a genius. Duh!
Tristan: LOL, hardly. But yeah, I’m good. Ready for the break, though, before fall session starts. Oh, my mom said thank you for the pictures of Harrison.
Me: Oh! Good. I’m glad she got them. She didn’t answer me.
Tristan: Yeah, she’s being weird about it all, but I don’t care. I told her we don’t need to talk about it, that we need to work on us.
Me: Agreed. She’ll come around, and I’ll send pictures until she asks me to stop. Same with you.
Tristan: I won’t ask for that. I’m so happy for you and Jude. You two look so damn happy in every post.
I look over at Jude as he drives to our new house. He has a stupid beanie on in the middle of summer in Florida, but that’s my husband. He loves that damn thing; he even bought some for Harrison. So now they match. It’s so fucking adorable, it brings me to tears. Harrison is in the back, sleeping soundly like he did for most of the flight to Florida. It was an easy flight, thankfully. I was nervous but so full of love, I can’t stand it. Tristan is right. We are happy. Beyond, even. The happiest I’ve been in a long time.
Me: We are. I’ll send you pictures of the house.
Tristan: Awesome. Oh, I think I’m gonna move back home.
Me: Tristan! That’s wonderful!
Tristan: Yeah, save some money and really focus on school.
Me: Great plan. I’m so proud of you.
Tristan: Couldn’t have done it without you and Jude. I am so incredibly happy for you and can’t wait to see what life has in store for you three.
My heart swells.
Me: Funny… We wouldn’t be where we are without you.
Tristan: The Good Lord above works like that, huh?
Me: He sure does.
Me: I love you, Tristan. Thank you.
Tristan: No, thank you. I love you too. Text me pictures.
Me: I will.
I set my phone in my lap, and when Jude grabs my hand, I look over to see him watching me. “She good?”
“She’s great. She’s gonna move back home.”
He nods with a look of relief. “Wow, that’s fantastic.”
“I thought so too.” I lace our fingers together as I watch palm trees and people in bikinis walking around. This is gonna be a huge change from where we were, hanging out in the cold all the time. It’s all going to be so different. But I can deal with anything as long as I’m with Jude. And now, Harrison. Our perfect little angel. Jude brings my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly, and a sigh leaves my lips.
“Warning… Mom says everything is chaos, but the house is good.”
I smile. “I can’t wait for the chaos. Harrison is gonna be so loved.”
He nods firmly. “So damn loved. Jamieson is stoked. He told me yesterday he wants to hold him first, but I’m pretty sure Angie and Ashlyn will have something to say about that.”
I nod. “True. Though, Sawyer and Flynn might want to hold him first. They are the oldest.”
He shakes his head. “Those boys don’t care about ba
bies. If we were bringing home a new stick, then yes, but not a baby. They just want to see Auntie Claire.”
I laugh. “Probably. I am their favorite.” I squeeze his hand. “You know who’s getting him first.”
He looks to me, and we smile as we say, “Mom.”
Autumn will make sure of that. I doubt we’ll even get in the door before she has him out of his car seat and into her arms. Reese will probably fight her for him, but Autumn won’t care. I’m so excited to watch it all. I have waited so long to be the one to bring a baby home to the family. Our family is so big, so wonderful, and everyone loves so hard. I’m not even home yet, and I’m already in tears. It’s all going to be perfect.
“I’m excited.”
Jude nods. “Me too,” he says, kissing my hand once more. “We’re gonna have a great life, Mama.”
“We are,” I agree as I lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I was so upset at first.”
“Don’t be. It was a lot of change, and we sure as hell didn’t think things would work out like they have.”
“Exactly,” I say, loving that he can read my thoughts and know what I am feeling. “I am beyond happy, though, Jude. Seriously.”
“So am I, gorgeous.” He winks at me, and I grin. “Mostly because I am married to your fine ass.”
I laugh. “Whatever. It’s the baby.”
“Well, duh.” He nods with a laugh. He turns his head, kissing my forehead as he turns into a residential area. The houses are large, fancy, and of course, it’s where Jude picked a house for us. I wanted to be on the water, and this was the neighborhood he found for us. It’s gated and very safe, which is good for when he is gone. I’m usually fine when he’s on the road, but with a new baby, I’m a little nervous.
So much change, but sometimes, change is good. In this case, it’s been the best change of our lives. Scary, but the best.
When we turn onto a road, I see a billion cars in front of a house, and I know it’s ours. Thankfully, Mom made sure to leave the driveway open for us, and when we pull in, the house takes my breath away. It’s a nice white-stucco home with bright-red shutters and door. On the door is a wreath with our last name in it. That’s Lucy’s doing, I’m sure. I smile as chills run through my body.
