“I was thinking I’d cook some lunch, if that’s okay with you.” She leaned in and studied the limited offerings. “Maybe sloppy joes and a salad? Mikey will need a good meal, and I’m hungry, too. I think you had sandwich rolls, at least the last time I looked.”
“Okay,” he said, realizing his own stomach was growling. “But I’m not sure when Mikey is coming home. He might stay there for lunch.”
“Oh.” Her forehead wrinkled. “Well, if he does, maybe I’ll just fix myself some toast. Unless you want...should I fix the sloppy joes anyway? Would you eat one?”
“I’d eat two or three,” he blurted out, and then snapped his mouth shut as the notion of sitting down to lunch with Samantha taunted his imagination. “But don’t cook. You don’t need to cook for me. That’s not in the job description.”
“Yeah, I guess we should hammer one of those out, shouldn’t we?” She opened the food cupboard and scanned it, then glanced back at the table. “I noticed you have a booster seat, but if there’s other kid-related stuff you need, I could call around and see what I can borrow for you.”
“Good idea. And I’ll get around to working up a job description, hours, all of that, to run by you. It’s just been so chaotic getting used to taking care of Mikey, it never occurred to me.”
“No rush,” she said. “And I know I don’t have to cook for you, but... I can use the kitchen, right? And if I’m making myself a meal, I might as well make enough for you. We don’t have to eat together.” She paused, her cheeks going pink. “Not that I’d mind eating together, it’s just...you don’t need to feel obligated to do that.”
“I don’t mind,” he said quickly. And he didn’t.
Except that eating meals at home with Samantha was going to make him hyper-aware of all the things he wanted and couldn’t have. He owed it to Mikey to rein himself in. “Maybe I’d better eat in front of the computer at that,” he said, gesturing toward his study and looking away from what seemed like hurt in her eyes.
There would be plenty of occasions for eating meals with Samantha in the coming weeks. He didn’t need to add to that by sitting down to lunch with her when it wasn’t absolutely required.
Chapter Five
The day after the nonlunch with Corbin, Samantha leaned into the red barn that housed the Rescue Haven program for boys and dogs. “Gabby?”
A cacophony of barking ensued. “Over here,” came a voice from a row of kennels along the side of the barn, barely audible above the noise of the dogs.
She walked farther in and Gabby came to greet her, wiping her hands on a towel. “Hi! Reese is out getting some supplies and the boys’ program doesn’t start until after school, so I’m on my own with the morning chores.”
“Is it a bad time?” Samantha asked, even though she’d texted Gabby last night to set up this meeting.
“Nope. It’s perfect. Come and sit while I finish these last kennels. The dogs will settle down in a sec.” And indeed, out of the seven or eight dogs she could see, only one was still barking madly, and another let out the occasional yap.
“They’re so cute.” Samantha knelt by a reddish pit bull and offered her hand to sniff. The dog came forward slowly, and gave her hand a quick sniff, but when Samantha moved, she jumped back and started barking again.
She looked back at Gabby. “Do you have any treats? If I could make friends with her, maybe I could clean her kennel for you.”
“Feed her some treats, but she won’t let you clean her kennel.” Gabby tossed her a bag. “That’s Aurora, and she hasn’t had a great life up until now. She’s come to trust a couple of the boys, but it takes time.”
“Understandable.” Samantha tossed the dog a couple of treats and then sidled over to the next kennel. There, a large black longhaired dog panted in a way that made it look like it was smiling. “How about this one?”
“Boomer’s super friendly. If you could let him out and change his food and water, that would be great. He can run around the barn a little.”
Samantha opened the crate and was nearly knocked over by the giant friendly dog. “Hey, boy!” She rubbed his sides and turned her face so that the dog’s kisses landed on her cheek instead of her nose and mouth. “You’re beautiful!”
“He is, and he’s ready to adopt out, but he’s too big and sheds too much for most people. Plus, he’s deaf.” She tapped Boomer’s nose and pointed at the floor, and the dog seemed to laugh over at her before dropping back down on his four feet to greet the other dogs, still secure in their pens.
Samantha found a big bin of dry kibble and filled Boomer’s bowl. “So I’ve been thinking about that idea for a kids’ program. Are you still interested in having me get it started?”
Gabby finished wiping down a crate and went to a utility sink to wash her hands, and Samantha joined her to refill Boomer’s water bowl.
“Don’t you want to settle in as a nanny first?” Gabby asked, her face frankly curious. “Or is it not working out with Corbin and Mikey?”
“Oh, it’s working out great!” Samantha said hastily. “Mikey’s terrific and Corbin’s a very thoughtful employer. He doesn’t want to take advantage, and the result is that I have some extra time.”
“Where is Mikey?”
“Corbin wants to cut down on his hours at the university so he can give Mikey some attention. Today, he said he would keep Mikey at home with him while he grades tests.”
Gabby laughed. “Corbin doesn’t know much about kids, does he?”
“No, he doesn’t seem to.” Samantha opened her mouth to say more, then closed it again. She didn’t know Gabby well. But she was feeling a little lost, having just moved away from all her friends, and she knew she didn’t do well if she let herself get isolated. She twisted her hands together and then looked up at Gabby. “I need something besides being around Corbin all the time. I figure I could do this, at least get something started for you, while I’m taking care of Mikey. Build up my résumé, you know?”
“Makes sense.” Gabby frowned. “Is there a reason you don’t want to be around Corbin all the time?”
Besides that I keep getting attracted to him? Her face heating, Samantha looked over at the pit bull, now sleeping peacefully in her pen. “It’s just better,” she said. “Leave it at that.”
“Sure.” Gabby leaned forward. “I tell you what, it’s hard being a working mom at times. I get it that you’d want to escape, have your own life apart from Mikey.”
“It’s not that.” Samantha sighed. “If I could be a working mom, I’d be thrilled, but...” She looked at Gabby, gauging the other woman’s capacity to be a friend. “I miscarried a baby right after high school through some not very smart decisions I made. Too much partying,” she clarified. She hadn’t taken a drink once she’d learned she was pregnant, but she’d spent lots of time up late in smoke-filled rooms, and there had been a lot of drinking in the weeks before she’d known.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Gabby patted Samantha’s shoulder, then frowned. “Sounds like you’re blaming yourself.”
“I guess.” And she didn’t need Gabby to talk her out of that. A couple of friends and counselors had tried, and that had almost made her feel worse, like they were placating her. “I didn’t mean to go into all of that,” Samantha said, and ducked her head, her hair falling in front of her face. She reached out a hand to pet Boomer as he bounded by.
“I’m glad to get to know you better,” Gabby said, smiling at her. “I’m glad you’re here. Aside from Hannah, I don’t have that many friends my age to talk to here in town.”
Samantha’s heart warmed. Most of her friends in the city were from AA, and they were great. But it would be nice to find friends here who were more her own age, and who had other interests in common with her, not just recovery.
“So anyway, tell me about what you’re thinking for a younger kids’ group,” Gabby said, and
they went back and forth with some ideas and found they were on the same page.
“The thing is,” Gabby said, “Mrs. Markowski would have to approve it since she’s the one funding it.”
“Funding what, dear?” came a voice from the barn’s doorway, and the dogs’ voices rose in a loud chorus again. Samantha turned to see Mrs. Markowski turning away from Boomer’s overfriendliness.
The well-dressed older woman didn’t look like she’d be very easy to please.
* * *
When Corbin arrived to pick up Samantha, he walked into the barn and found her being grilled by Mrs. Markowski. Gabby was there, trying to interject without a whole lot of success.
“’Mantha!” Mikey tugged away from Corbin’s firm grip on his hand and ran to throw his arms around Samantha. “Came to get you!” He twisted around and his eyes widened. “Dogs!”
Samantha hugged Mikey back and looked up at Corbin, one side of her mouth quirking, two vertical lines between her brows. He’d never seen help broadcast more plainly.
“Say hello to Mrs. Markowski, Mikey,” he said.
“’Lo,” Mikey said distractedly.
“Do you like dogs, young man?” Mrs. Markowski leaned over to put her face beside Mikey’s, pointing at the dogs’ crates. “Which one do you like best?”
“That one!” Mikey scrambled off Samantha’s lap and ran at Aurora, who cringed back and growled and barked.
Corbin reached Mikey as his mouth opened to wail. “Hey, buddy,” he said, swinging him up into his arms. “Some dogs like it when you move slow and don’t yell. Aurora is one of those.”
“Bite me!” Mikey cried.
Corbin, Samantha and Gabby all looked at each other. Corbin was trying not to laugh at Mikey’s statement, and he could tell Samantha and Gabby were having the same struggle. “She won’t bite you,” Corbin said, trying not to laugh. “Here, let’s have you visit Fluffy.” He carried Mikey over to another crate, knelt, and opened it. A small scrappy shih tzu rushed out and began running around Corbin and Mikey.
Mikey crossed his arms and shook his head. “Like big dogs,” he said.
Mrs. Markowski smiled indulgently.
Gabby smiled, too.
But it was Samantha’s smile that captivated Corbin. She looked genuinely happy, watching Mikey, sitting between Gabby and Mrs. Markowski, who’d stopped grilling her for the time being.
She whispered something to the other two women and they both began nodding. What were they talking about?
Gabby moved over and sat by Mrs. Markowski, while Samantha tugged Corbin aside, her hand warm on his arm. “We have an idea,” she said, laughing up at him, her eyes challenging him to some sort of game.
“Yeah? What’s that?” He leaned a little closer and breathed in the smell of flowers from her hair. His pulse quickened.
Her eyes went wide, then dropped quickly as she gestured toward Mikey, who was now standing in front of Boomer’s crate, poking his fingers inside. “We think you should get Mikey a dog.”
“A what?” He was a little confused because his blood seemed to have sped up its coursing through his veins, and his whole body had heated up.
“A dog.” She glanced up through long thick eyelashes and then looked away again. “We think Mikey should get a dog.”
“Oh.” He tried to process what she’d said, willing himself to cool down. It wasn’t his place nor his right to let her affect him as a man, not when he’d never get into a relationship with someone who had her issues. “You think we should get a dog?”
She nodded patiently. “Look at them.”
Distractedly, he looked at Mikey, who was giggling as the big dog licked his face through the crate. “I’m only learning how to have a kid under my roof.” And a warm, sweet, gorgeous woman I have to keep my distance from. “I don’t know if I can deal with a dog.”
“Just something to think about,” she said, and moved away from him to get down on the floor with Mikey.
Reese came in and looked surprised. “What’s going on here?”
“Hi, honey.” Gabby went to him immediately and wrapped her arms around his waist, and he pulled her close. For a few seconds, they were clearly unaware of anything around them but each other.
A sword of jealousy stabbed Corbin’s heart. He remembered when Reese had been single and angry at the world. Now, the man had a wife who obviously loved him madly.
Maybe Corbin would get there, too, but it wouldn’t be with someone like Samantha.
“Where’s Izzy?” Gabby asked Reese.
“With Nana,” he said.
“Well, Samantha came to offer to set up that early childhood program for us,” Gabby explained. “But Mrs. Markowski needs to approve it since she’s the donor, right?”
Reese nodded slowly and looked over at his aunt. “What do you think?”
She looked up from Mikey and the dog and her face sobered. “I’d like to see Samantha prove her reliability before we trust her with something like this,” she said.
Corbin stiffened at the implied insult, but Samantha raised a hand. “She’s right, of course,” she said. “None of you have any reason to trust me with organizing something so big.”
“Why not have her work on something smaller as a sort of test run?” Reese suggested.
“Like what?” Corbin was still defensive for Samantha.
“Like...”
“I know!” Gabby snapped her fingers. “How about a Rescue Haven float for the Memorial Day parade? Because we sure don’t have time to do it, and it would be organizing something, and working with the kids.”
“Would you be willing to do that?” Corbin asked before Mrs. Markowski could respond. He didn’t like the way the conversation was more about Samantha than including her.
Mrs. Markowski broke in before Samantha could answer. “It’s not a bad idea,” she said. “I’d like to see that float be very strong, maybe win a prize.”
Gabby laughed. “You’re so into decorating, maybe you should design a float.”
“Oh, no, dear, I don’t have the time,” she said, although to Corbin, it seemed like she probably had nothing but time. “No, I’d like to see how you do with the decorating, of course,” she said speaking directly to Samantha for the first time, “but also, how you handle the boys and the dogs. If you can manage that, and manage it well, I’d definitely be more confident to fund your heading up a bigger project.”
Samantha looked a little frozen, like a rabbit who’d just spotted a predator. “I, um, I’d like to try, but I don’t know anything about how to build a float.”
“Corbin does,” Gabby said promptly. “He built a great undercarriage for the float the church did last year.”
All eyes turned to Corbin, and Reese clapped him on the back. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a job, buddy,” he said. “If you can handle it.”
It seemed to Corbin that his friend had a double meaning to his words. And looking over at Samantha, who was blushing and looking anywhere but at him, he wasn’t sure he could handle it. But what choice did he have?
“Samantha,” Gabby said gently, “what do you think?”
“I’m willing to try,” she said. “Are you, Corbin?”
“I’ll do it,” he said. And wondered what he was getting himself into.
Chapter Six
Samantha and Corbin walked into church on Sunday morning with Mikey between them, each of them holding one of his hands.
Sunshine warmed Samantha’s back and a spring breeze cooled her face. Around them, families walked toward the quaint white church, talking and greeting one another.
It felt like Samantha, Mikey and Corbin were a family, too. And it was killing her.
Corbin, tall and broad shouldered in a gray suit, earned several glances from the younger women in the crowd. Understandable. Samantha was having a
hard time not staring at him herself.
But she focused on Mikey, whose eyes were wide as they entered the light-filled sanctuary. This whole thing was about him, not her. She wasn’t happy with having deceived Corbin about her connection with his mother, but if it allowed Mikey to find a home, if it allowed Corbin and Mikey to become deeply attached, it was worth it.
And because she wanted to make this work so badly, she ignored the butterflies in her stomach. She wasn’t comfortable entering the church she’d occasionally attended as a child and teen. She’d hardly been church material, her sarcastic attitude showing, when Hannah’s mom, her aunt, had gently forced her to come to church.
She hadn’t fit in then, and she didn’t fit in now. She might look more respectable, and she, Corbin and Mikey might look like a family, but appearances weren’t reality.
Since then, though, she’d come to a new understanding, become a believer. Back in the city, she’d found a large multicultural congregation she loved. That, in addition to all she’d learned about trusting in a higher power in AA, had nudged her in the right direction.
A small-town church was pretty different, but God was unchanging. She hoped she could find a little peace here today.
“Samantha!” Hannah hurried up to her and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. Come see Mom.”
Samantha opened her mouth to protest, to say she needed to be with Mikey, but Corbin’s deep, warm voice stopped her, sending a shiver down her spine. “Go. I’ve got him.”
She followed her cousin, waving to Gabby and Sheniqua along the way. When Aunt Becky saw her, she opened her arms wide and gave Samantha a huge hug. “I’m so glad to see you! Don’t you look good!” She held Samantha back by the shoulders and looked her up and down. “You’ve really grown up, haven’t you?”
“Tried to,” Samantha said, and explained that she was taking care of Mikey and working on another possible job as well.
“That’s wonderful.” Her aunt, suntanned and fit-looking, explained she’d been away on a trip with her girlfriends. “Now that I’m home,” she said, “You’ll have to come for dinner.”
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