by Diana Nixon
A part of me was disappointed not to get her immediate attention. After all, I was the only person in the room who was standing while everyone else was sitting at the table and she couldn't not notice me.
Frustrated, I continued my speech, "As I said before Miss Burns' late arrival, I'm going to…"
Now that her full attention was finally on me, I couldn't but dive into those magnetic eyes of hers. I didn’t hear my own words that seemed to be flying out of my mouth as if they had been recorded on a tape that would play no matter what.
She met my stare with a cold look in her eyes, and for one split second, it felt like all those years I hadn't seen her never existed at all. They vanished by the intensity of her glare that was burning me from within. If I could look inside my body, I would no doubt find nothing but ash there.
Fuck… She still knew how to ignite the fire that I was sure was dead forever.
She looked like an angel sent from heaven. Her killer snow-white dress jacket contrasted with her tanned skin and her black hair that framed her delicate features in carefully made curls. Her red lips looked so inviting. No doubt, all the men sitting at the table were thinking the same thing I was – how gorgeous she was. Time definitely had some mercy on her – she wasn't the girl I knew twelve years ago anymore. Now she was a grown woman, full of grace and undeniable self-assurance.
Uh, if only I could turn back the damn time…
After I was done with my speech, the dinner started. The guests were talking to each other, enjoying the meal and discussing the possibility of our cooperation. Everyone seemed to be too busy to see the two people who wouldn't stop watching each other from across the long table.
The distance between Rhea and me seemed endless. She was so close right now, but so far away at the same time. I looked at her and saw nothing but a beautiful stranger, looking back at me.
Cold radiated from her. The rebellious girl she was years back, was gone now, replaced by a woman whose appearance and every small gesture screamed perfection. For a moment, I caught myself missing the old her – the girl I fell in love with at first sight.
She used to look at me with so much love… But now, emptiness filled her eyes. It shouted at me, telling me all the things she herself never said to me in person. She never gave me a chance to explain things. Though if I were her, I would think there was nothing to explain, considering I managed to break her heart in the most disgusting way. I said she didn't mean anything to me, when in reality she was everything to me, she was my life. But my father would never let me live a life like that. He would never let me be happy, simply happy. All he wanted was to turn me into another powerful machine that would do anything to get the desired.
And he succeeded. Partially. Because a part of me still wanted to feel things, wanted to love and be loved. The problem was – the woman I wanted to be with hated me to the core.
How has she been all these years? Has she ever tried to learn anything about my life after her? Or has she tried her best to forget my name, once and for all?
"May I have a word with you, Miss Burns?" I finally manned up and dared to come closer to Rhea.
She didn't look surprised. On the contrary – it looked like she had been waiting for this conversion.
"Of course, Mr. Coleman." She stood up and our eyes met again.
I swallowed hard. Being so close to her did terrible things to my body and mind. I wondered if anyone around us could feel the tension sparkling between us.
"Follow me, please." I turned away from her and quickly headed for the door that led to the hall where my office was.
We walked into the office that smelled like wood and…
"Cherry?" Rhea closed the door behind her and I felt like I had been locked in a prison of her beauty and the smell that still made me lose my mind every damn time I breathed it in.
"It's the perfume," I said. The very same one I used years ago when she and I were together. It was still my favorite fragrance ever.
"I remember it…" She said walking around my office. She looked through the books standing on the shelves and went through the collection of CDs that reminded me of the time I was so happy with her.
Did she even know that my heart still belonged to her? That she was the first and the last thing to cross my mind every time I woke up or went to bed? Even if a different woman was sleeping next to me, I never stopped thinking about the one I fell in love with so long ago. The words she once said about the mornings became a prayer I repeated every time I went to bed with a different woman and I never stayed as long as to wake up next to her. I left before the sun rose, walking away, as empty as ever. Because none of those women I spent time with was her – the only woman I wanted to see by my side.
I leaned against the edge of my desk and watched her examine the room.
Her legs looked endless when she was wearing heels, just like today. I remembered the first time we met. That day changed my life forever. I would give up everything I had just to get back to it again. I would do everything the other way around.
"So this is your life now, Jeffrey?" The sound of my name pronounced by her made the hole in my heart grow to the size of a crater. "Is it ok if I call you Jeffrey, instead of Mr. Coleman?"
I didn't care what she was calling me, I just wanted her to keep talking to me.
"Jeffrey is ok," I said.
"How long have you been working here?"
"You mean this particular office or the company in general?"
"The company." She came closer and stopped right in front of me.
Too close…
She was too close to play it cool. Too close to pretend she didn't affect me anymore. Too close to think about anything but pulling her into my embrace and kissing her senseless.
"Six years," I responded, hoping I didn't sound like a desperate teenager, dying to get a kiss from the girl he liked.
No, I didn't like her. I loved her… I still fucking LOVED her!
"Which means you've made your biggest dream come true… What about your father? Is he still breathing down your neck, making sure you don't take a single step without his approval?"
Lord, there was so much hate in her words. If they had the power to kill, I would be dead in the blink of an eye.
"Dad passed away last fall."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know… And your mom? Does she still live in Pittsburgh?"
"Yes. I wanted her to move to New York, to be closer to me. But she said she would never leave the place where she had been living her whole life."
"I see…"
An uneasy pause followed, but neither Rhea nor I seemed to want to break it. As if the things our eyes were telling each other were so much more important than the words of lie and pretense said aloud.
She mentioned my biggest dream coming true and I suddenly realized that it had never come true in reality. Because my biggest dream was being with her, and that was as lost as our story.
Little do you know about my dreams, Cherry.
CHAPTER 17
Rhea
If hearts broke from a look in someone's eyes, mine would be broken in an instant, because what I saw in the eyes of the man watching me now was the opposite from what I expected to see there. No hate, no anger. Just curiosity, and a little of something that reminded me of the way he used to look at me years ago, when we were not afraid to reveal our true feelings.
It scared me, it affected me, it excited me…
"Not all the dreams come true, Rhea…"
Sandy was right after all, Jeffrey had changed; he grew up and turned into a man any sane woman would die to wake up with in the morning. Impressive, like she said.
I smirked. "Tell me something I don't know."
The features that I used to love so much were much sharper now, more masculine and even more attractive. He was handsome from the depth of his look and to the velvet of his voice. It made goose bumps run all over my skin, as if I were naked, standing in the wind.
But desp
ite how naked I felt back in my office when discussing my outfit with Sandy, I felt pretty much secure now. Or maybe it was the look in Jeffrey's eyes that made me feel so self-confident. He liked what he saw, I could feel it. I could also try using it against him.
"So… What have you decided about the winner of the bid?" I leaned against the edge of the desk, right next to Jeffrey. A little too close to have a business conversation. But who the hell cared? I was there to get what I wanted, and I was gonna use all the weapons that I had with me. Not much, I must say, but enough to have his full attention on me.
"Like I said, I would like to talk to all the participants first. It's not an easy decision to make."
"I want this contract, Jeffrey. Like nothing in the world." I looked into his eyes and he held my stare.
"Isn't it bothering you that you will need to spend a lot of time with me?"
I chuckled. "Is it bothering you?"
He intentionally gave my outfit a long, careful look. "Not at all. I like spending time with beautiful women."
No, shit? A predatory jealousy sank into me.
"I don't really care about anything but the result," I said. "And the result of a six-figure contract is too alluring to think about…let's call it 'small inconveniences'."
The corners of his lips twisted in a knowing smile. "So money is all you want to get from this project?"
"What else would I want?"
"Name?"
"I already have a name."
"Don't you want everyone in the city to see your name on the tablet pinned to the wall of the future trade center?"
"Right now, all I want is to be paid well for my ideas."
He squinted his eyes, as if trying to read what was hidden behind my words.
"What do you need money for? And just don't tell me that you need it for your company. I had checked on every single participant before I let them get to the final round of the bid. Your company is doing really well. My bad, I didn’t know that Athena belonged to you. Now it makes sense. It's the name of one of the Greek goddesses, right?"
"She was the goddess of wisdom. When I was a kid, mom called me her little Athena." I didn't want to talk about anything personal, but Jeffrey knew about my mom, and telling him something about my past always felt easy.
"You haven't answered my question, Rhea. What do you need money for?"
I needed to put some distance between us, because I couldn't give the answer to his question. I walked to the floor-length window and looked out. The view of the night city was calming.
"I need to help my father," I replied. "He got into a pretty bad mess and I need to take him out of it."
"I see…" I heard the footsteps and then I felt Jeffrey stop behind me. "I can't promise anything about the bid results. But I'll think about what I can do to help you."
I turned around and found him standing very close to me. I could even smell his aftershave.
"Why would you want to help me, Jeffrey? If my designing ideas are not good enough for your project, I will understand."
"If someone you cared about needed help, would you offer it?"
Someone you cared about…
"It's not the same thing. We are strangers now. You don't know anything about me, or about my life."
"Then why don't you tell me more about it?"
"What for?"
"So I can find a way to help you. Think of it as a friendly gesture."
"We are not friends, Jeffrey."
"You are right, Rhea. We are not… But why don't we try being friends?"
After everything that I had to go through because of you? No freaking way!
"Okay, let's try."
What choice did I have? He made it clear that his decision about the bid was not in my favor. But I still needed the money and he could give it to me. The question was – on what conditions?
I walked around him and headed for the door, praying I wouldn't lose my balance. With my shaking legs, anything was possible.
"Rhea!" He called.
With my hand on the doorknob, I turned to look at him one more time.
"You look amazing tonight…" He didn't sound like a man who complimented me on my look just to get into my panties, even if that thought crossed his mind many times tonight.
He sounded sincere and a little nostalgic, which scared me even more than the possibility of losing my parents' house, or my panties in the attempts to get the desired.
"Thanks," I said before I left his office and went back to the conference room that felt so much safer than a secluded room for just the two of us.
***
Jeffrey
"You knew she would be there, didn't you?" I looked accusingly at Sandy, then at the glass in my hands and swirled the amber liquid that I was dying to swallow, hoping it would take my thoughts away and straight to hell.
"It would ruin the surprise effect!"
"Right." I drained the contents of my glass dry. Scotch landed at the bottom of my empty stomach, and I grimaced. It burned my flesh and made blood boil beneath my skin. But I couldn't care less. All I wanted now was to forget my own name and Scotch was gonna do the job just fine.
"Have you talked to her?" Levy came to the terrace of his apartment where Sandy and I had been talking. It was almost midnight and their kids were deep asleep. I didn't mean to break into their peaceful family time, but I needed to speak to someone who knew my story with Rhea. Going home and talking to myself was not an option.
"We have."
"And?" Sandy asked impatiently. Knowing her, I was sure she would interrogate me back and forth until I gave away all the details.
"She needs help and I said I would help her."
"Help with what?" Levy asked.
"Looks like her dad spent a lot of money in the casino and he's about to lose his house because of it. She didn’t tell me a word about it, but I did a little research and found it out."
Sandy spoke again, "Shit… She didn't tell me anything about it either."
"Maybe she didn't want anyone to know about it."
"Then why didn't you let her take the contract?" Levy asked.
"Well… Hell, I have no idea. To be honest, her project was one of the best, maybe even the best of the best. But… Ugh, I don't know what I was thinking."
"Which means you have a better plan on how to help her, right?" Levy gave me a knowing look. I swear he could feel that I was up to something. Fucking mentalist.
"I think so. Though I'm not sure she would accept my offer."
"Is it that dirty?" Sandy giggled.
"No, but it's something so much bigger than the contract that she lost." I thought about the idea that came to my head earlier that night. It was crazy, really, but I couldn't help it. I needed Rhea back in my life and our unexpected meeting just proved it one more time. "I can't lose her," I said to my friends. "Not again."
***
Rhea
"Friends? You and Jeffrey?" Kora couldn't believe what I was telling her about last night's meeting.
"That's what we have decided to try."
"Interesting… Does your friendship include any juicy benefits?"
"God, no!"
"Does he know that too?"
"Of course, he does! He's smart enough to realize that if it were not for my father's problems I would never ask for his help."
"Whatever you say, Dear. Just please, try to not lose your head over him again. Once was more than enough for one life."
"No broken hearts this time, I promise."
"Good. Now, I'd better go check on the kids before they destroy the living room. Talk to you later!"
"Okay, bye!"
I looked at the screen of my phone and sighed. It was almost ten in the evening, and I still hadn’t heard from Jeffrey. He said he would think of how to help me and I expected his brilliant ideas to bless his head before I would need to pack dad's things and bring them to my place. There wasn't enough space to hold even a small part of them. If only Jeffrey
agreed to sign a contract with me, but…
My phone lit up with a new message.
"I'm downstairs. Will you open the door? We need to talk."
What the hell? I ran up to the window and looked out.
Jeffrey was standing on the porch of my apartment building and I wondered if I missed the moment I gave him my address plus my phone number. No matter how light-headed I felt when in his presence, I couldn't be that stupid.
I looked down at my pajamas that I had been wearing all day, because it was my day off and last night's events still bothered me more than my appearance.
Crap… I should have washed my hair at the very least.
I grabbed a hair clip from my vanity table and went to open the door. There was no point in applying makeup or getting changed into something more appropriate for the meeting with the love of my life. I didn't have time for any of that.
"Unbidden guests are welcome when they are gone," was the first thing I said instead of greeting him. And he just had to look as perfect as fucking ever. I felt like an ugly frog pulled out of the water.
"Sorry about that, but it's urgent."
"Whatever you say." I motioned for him to come in. At least my place was clean and looked so much better than its owner.
"How did you get my address?"
"Your secretary gave it to me."
I'll kill Wendy first thing in the morning. Someone warn her, NOW!
"Great."
He looked around my not-so-spacy-at-all living room and said, "I think I know how to help you."
"Oh, really?"
"The thing is… I've checked on the papers that the bank sent to your father."
"How did you…"
He held up one hand, wordlessly telling me to shut up.
"The sum that he owes the bank is huge."
"No, shit, Detective Coleman?"
He didn't smile at my joke, and neither did I.
"You can't pay it off even if you keep working 24/7."
"And your point is?"
"I will go to the bank and again buy the house for you."
