by Diana Nixon
I never thought he would pay so much attention to my every small move, every little change in my expression. But it was like he knew exactly what I wanted him to do, how I wanted him to touch me, and where.
His lips danced in a sweet exploration, cherishing every inch of my skin. Moves slow but confident, they made me burn in temptation.
I wanted more, so much more than this…
As if knowing that, he pressed his body to mine, letting me feel just how ready he was to turn this night into an unforgettable ride.
He was huge, I could feel it, and as hard as a rock.
He gripped my ass and said into my lips, "Can't promise I'm gonna be all nice to you, Cherry. You've been keeping me on a starvation diet for way too long."
"What have you been starving for?"
"You. Always you."
With those words said, he positioned himself in between my legs and thrust his erection inside me, hard and deep.
I cried out his name in immense pleasure.
Finally, I felt complete, as if he were a missing part of me that was found and added to the place where it always belonged.
Incredible sensations. This is what I wanted, this is how I wanted it to happen.
Jeffrey wasn't the first man in my life, but right then and there it felt like he was, because what happened before him couldn't be compared to what I had now. And now, I had him, all for myself.
He pushed faster and my inner walls burned from the need to feel more of him, to get the satisfaction I had been lacking, to become one with the man I loved my whole life.
"Oh, my God, yes…" I moved with him, meeting his thrusts halfway, matching the rhyme he had chosen. There was nothing else but us, moving in tune, dying to feel high and finally content.
I felt my body start to tremble beneath his. The pleasure rolled down my spine and then exploded right where he had been touching me in the most sensual way.
He pushed in one more time and growled loudly, filling me up from within. Just one last move and we dived into pure bliss that no words ever existed could give enough credit to.
"Rhea, oh, Rhea – my beautiful goddess. What have you done to me?" Breathing heavily, he lay down next to me and pulled me into his embrace.
In the darkness of the room, our closeness felt like a piece of heaven that made us glow in the night.
"I could ask you the same question, Mr. Coleman."
There was a time I thought I would never rebuild myself from the ruins that were left of me after Jeffrey and I broke up. For years, I had been trying to start my life from zero, seeking for peace that I once found with him.
"Tell me something," he moved so he could see my face. "Is there a tiny hope to hear what you told me twelve years ago?"
"Depends on what exactly you want to hear from me…"
"I love you. Is it too much to hope for?"
"My mom once said that love is hope, yet at times hope leads to nothing, when love can take you anywhere you want."
"So what will you choose – nothing or everything?"
"Right now I'm choosing you. Is it nothing or everything? You tell me."
"I want to be honest with you, Rhea. Over the years, I have opened many doors, and I have returned to this very room many times feeling like I was the loneliest person in the world. Then you moved in with me, and I started running home like there was a fire. I started my day by checking on you while you were still asleep. I never once went for a morning run without coming to your room just to make sure that you were still there, that you hadn't left me."
"Why I never heard you checking on me?"
"Probably because you are far from being an early riser."
I smiled. "Guilty."
He rubbed my back gently and continued, "I always stayed in the living room, waiting for you to come back home, because I couldn't imagine you spending the night somewhere else, with someone else, but me."
"That's what I thought. You've always been so selfish, Jeffrey."
"Not feeling guilty."
"Figures."
"Will you let me finish my confession or not?"
"Sorry, go on."
He sighed. "So to answer your question - I really want to be everything for you. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving I'm worthy of you. I've made many mistakes, Rhea, I know it. And I'm sorry for everything you had to go through because of me. I never meant to hurt you."
I swallowed tears that suddenly filled my eyes.
"Do you have any idea how many times I imagined you saying this? Even though I never gave you a chance to apologize."
He shook his head.
"There wasn't a day that I wasn't thinking about you, Jeffrey. Even when I told myself I didn't care about you anymore, I did want you to feel sorry for what you had done. You shattered me. You killed everything good that was left in me. Just when I thought I couldn't be happier, you proved me wrong."
"You never let me explain things."
"I didn't need any explanations. I heard everything I never wanted to hear. Do you think it was not a good enough reason to stay away from you for the rest of my life?"
He looked at my lips and I knew he was going to say something perky.
"But you are here now and it doesn't look like you want to go anywhere else. You seemed to be quite into what we have been doing in this bed…"
"Shut up. I'm trying to be serious."
"So am I. And no matter how many times you say that sleeping with me has never crossed your mind, I will not believe you."
"Fine. I have thought about it…"
"I know."
"How the hell do you know that?"
"I could see it in your eyes. You have always been crazy about me."
As if deeply offended, I sat up and crossed my arms. "If you keep saying that, I swear, you will never hear the words you want me to say again."
"But there's a chance I will hear them one day, right?"
"Don't puppy eye look me. You will have to try your best to make me repeat them."
"I'll try better than my best."
"I will hold you to that!"
CHAPTER 20
Six months later
"Are you sure about it, Doctor?"
"Mrs. Coleman, you are pregnant. There can't be any mistake."
"Oh, God…"
"I thought you would be happy to hear the news."
"I am happy… It's just…" Jeffrey was out of the city. He was gonna be back next week. Things between us were getting better, much better. Our marriage was no longer fictional. And I think both he and I felt happy. But was he ready to become a father?
"Come back in four weeks. We will do an ultrasound and maybe find out if it's gonna be a girl or a boy."
"Okay. Thank you." I took my bag and left the examination room.
Sitting in my car, I looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror. My eyes were watering and I could clearly feel fear rising up my spine. For some weird reason, I didn't know how to tell Jeffrey we were having a baby.
Just then, my cell phone rang and I smiled through my tears. Kora had this genius talent of calling me every time I needed her the most.
"Hi, girl! Do you have a minute?"
I swallowed and said, "Yes, sure. Is everything all right?"
"Looks like I'm moving to Canada."
"You what?"
"Tony got a new job offer in Toronto."
"What about your skating school?"
"That's why I'm calling you… Could you keep an eye on it until I find someone to manage it? I know you have a lot of work to do, but you are the only person I can trust with my school."
"Do I have time to think about it?"
"Yes, two minutes."
"Well, that's a lot of time!"
"Please, Rhea… It's just for a month, maybe two. After Tony and I get settled in Toronto, I will come back here and take care of everything."
"I hope I don't need to train kids, or do I?"
"No, of course n
ot. We have enough girls to teach them skating."
"Okay, then. I can do this."
She squealed happily into the handset.
"I have something to tell you," I said, after she sounded normal again.
"What is it?"
I paused before saying, "Looks like I'm gonna be a mom…"
"Whaaat?" Another squeal followed. "Are you sure?"
"Positive. I just visited a doctor."
"Oh, my God! That's wonderful news."
"It's my third week, but I still can't believe it's happening."
"Does Jeffrey know?"
"Not yet. He's in Pittsburgh now, visiting his mom."
"I'm sure she will be beyond excited. His mom looked really happy at your wedding. She'll make a great grandmother."
"Yeah…" Tears filled my eyes, and Kora, as always, felt it.
"Oh, Rhea… Your mom is always with you. You know that, right?"
It was one of those times that I missed mom most of all. I wanted her to be here now, to tell me how happy she was to become a grandma.
"I know," I said, barely able to control myself.
"Stop it," Kora said. "Or I'm gonna start crying too. You know, during my first pregnancy, I cried over every stupid thing, so it's not surprising that you can't hold back your emotions. Courage, girl. It's only gonna last for eight more months. Then you will cry a lot too: when the baby takes his or her first step, calls you mom, goes to school or gets married. But it's too early to cry over it. So better focus on here and now. And now, the most important thing that you need to do is rest a lot and think positively. And don't watch too many soap operas. The shit will turn you into a walking mess."
"Well, thanks for the advice."
"Any time! How about we have lunch later this week? I wanna touch your belly in order to attract the luck."
"I'm in. Name the place and the time. Anything after 4 PM works just fine."
"I'll text you on Thursday, okay?"
"K."
I ended the call and touched my belly. There were two hearts beating inside me now and somehow, I felt like everything had changed since about forty minutes ago when I knocked at my doctor's office door. My life was gonna be completely different now. Everything I possessed suddenly lost its importance compared to the tiny cuddle growing beneath my palm.
I smiled to myself, feeling like the joy of carrying a baby overwhelmed me, filling every small part of my body and soul. So this is how you feel when you know you are going to be a mom? I always wondered what made women change their thinking while being pregnant. Now I knew the answer – simply knowing there was a new life blooming under your heart, you know it will become everything to you: your days and nights, your hope, your joy, your dreams and everything in between.
On some unseen level, we were one now, the baby and I, connected by a very special bond that I was sure no one would ever be able to break.
***
Jeffrey
I stepped into the dark apartment and sighed relieved.
Home, sweet home.
It smelled like roses, an apple pie that Rhea loved baking using her mom's recipe, and cherries that always awoke the best memories of the days that she and I spent back on campus.
I still remembered the time I hated coming home knowing no one was waiting there for me. In my early thirties, I was fully prepared to have a wife and a family. The problem was – Rhea didn't want to hear my name, not to mention sharing a life with me. The day she said she would marry me, I knew I couldn't miss my chance to fix the things I ruined. I bought her a ring with two heart-shaped diamonds, hoping one day she would see the meaning hidden in the shining stones. I was desperate to make her love me again. Because I knew that without her, nothing else mattered. I had been lost for years, until the day I saw her again and found my reflection in her bright-blue eyes.
Though tonight, everything was different. I knew she would be waiting for me, and I couldn't wait for the moment I would hold her in my arms again.
I took off my jacket and dropped it on a chair in the living room, then headed straight for my bedroom. It was almost midnight, so I didn't expect my wife to be wide awake to greet me. But when I opened the door, I saw the most beautiful picture ever.
The room was filled with the soft light of the lamp, standing on a bedside table. Rhea was lying on her right side, deep asleep. She was embracing my pillow and I couldn't help but smile, hoping she was imagining it was me she was falling asleep with.
I took my time watching her. How could I live without her for so long? Time has become our worst enemy. It was cruel and ruthless. It took away the moments we used to enjoy and turned them into memories that were getting vaguer. Sometimes I got scared I would forget everything about her. I woke up in the middle of the night, with the drops of sweat rolling down my forehead. Nightmares were my best friends; I hated them for taking my Rhea away from me. Because each and every one of them ended up with me losing her, over and over again.
Thank God, now those nights were in the past. And my present was better than ever.
I came closer and sat down next to Rhea. She felt the movement and opened her eyes, giving them a few moments to get used to the light.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Missed me?"
She stretched out and quietly said, "Maybe just a little."
"Liar."
A gentle smile touched her lips. "What about you? Have you missed me?"
"Five days without you have been pure torture."
"Liar. You've spent almost twelve years without me."
"Which have been the worst years of my life." I bent down and captured her lips with mine. She moaned into my mouth and my body immediately reacted to the sweetest of sounds. Despite how tired I was after one long day and the flight, I couldn't stop thinking about getting under the blanket and loving my wife like I had been wanting it for days.
I started to undress, and she patiently waited for me to join her in the bed. After I was done, she moved to give me some space to lie down next to her.
I pulled her into my embrace and she giggled. "What are you doing? Don't you want to get some rest?"
"Rest? After four nights that I had to fall asleep all alone? Never."
I started kissing her lips, but she stopped me, "Wait, there's something I need to tell you first…"
Her face suddenly got serious.
"What's wrong?" I asked, worried. All the worst thoughts ran through my head.
She levered herself up with her elbow and looked at me. "What would you say if I told you I want to have a baby?"
That was unexpected. But somehow, I liked the idea. After all, I could have never imagined having kids with any other woman, but Rhea.
"I'm all for it. Shall we start working on your plan?"
She chuckled. Then she took my hand and put it over her belly. "You've already done your part, Daddy."
It took me a few moments to realize what she was trying to tell me.
"Oh, God… Rhea… You are pregnant!"
She nodded and I saw happy tears glisten in her blue eyes.
"When did you find out?"
"Just this morning."
"Oh, Cherry, I can't believe it… This... Is the best news ever!" I brought her lips to mine and kissed her deeply. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"It's too early to tell."
I caressed her belly with my palm. It was still flat, but now that I knew that she was carrying my baby, I felt like my love for her grew to the size of the universe.
"Are you happy, Rhea?" I looked her in the eye and prayed she would say 'yes', even though I could see happiness written all over her face.
"I am. I've never been happier than now."
"I'm glad to hear that. I really am." She knew how much her words meant to me.
"And one more thing…" She paused and I held my breath, waiting. "I love you, Jeffrey Coleman."
I laughed under my breath. "Oh, really? I thought you would never say it again."
"To be hone
st, I never stopped loving you. Even when I thought I hated you to death, I still loved you."
"I knew it."
She punched me playfully. "You could have pretended you didn't."
Holding her in my arms, I said, "Okay, I didn't. But I hoped your hate for me was not as strong as what you felt when we were together."
She sighed. "I should have given you a chance to explain everything, but pain from the words you said blinded my eyes. I couldn't believe I was losing someone very important, for the second time in my life. I just didn't know how to deal with it. I felt like I broke to pieces so small, there was no chance for me to recover."
"And I should have thought twice before I told my father I would break up with you. We've lost so much time, Rhea…"
She cupped my face and kissed me gently. "It doesn't matter anymore. What does matter though, is the fact that you and I have found a way to be together again."
"Well, technically…"
"You made me marry you, I know. Uh, you can't even imagine how much I hated myself for accepting your proposal. I was sure I was making the biggest mistake ever."
"Making you become my wife was the best deal I have ever made." We kissed again, more passionately this time. "You've changed my life, Rhea. You taught me how to love like you'd never been hurt. You helped me see things I never knew existed. You helped me look at my life from a different point of view. You loved me even when I didn't deserve it. You saved me from a forever of loneliness. Thank you for that."
"You are welcome."
"When I see your smile, I feel like the whole world is mine. When you look at me, I feel like I can't think about anything or anyone but you. And I don't care if that means I'm losing my head over you… I would lose everything for you, Cherry."
"Do you know how I knew I was still in love with you, after so many years? I once had a dream where something terrible happened to you and I lost you forever. I woke up, crying. I couldn't believe you were gone… And then, I looked around and realized that it was just a nightmare. I stood up and walked to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Then I closed my eyes for a moment and I knew it – I knew I never wanted to lose you or to stop loving you. Because without you, my life didn't make any sense. Those words I told you at the altar – they were real. I didn't lie about anything."
