How was she supposed to face him after that? How was she supposed to face herself? She groaned, then sank to the floor and pulled her legs to her chest. She rested her head on her knees and told herself that one day she would be smooth, classy and cultured, but until then, she was only herself and for the most part, that really sucked.
Chapter Eighteen
Sunshine finished applying a top coat to her toenails. She didn’t usually bother to paint them but she’d been in the mood. She walked out of her bathroom, balancing on her heels, the toe spacers making her walk funny. After checking on Connor, who was both watching his ant farm and reading a book, she made her way to the kitchen. She would do a little veggie chopping for dinner while her toes dried.
She rounded the corner and nearly collided with Declan. She was off balance already, and coming to a stop so quickly had her stumbling to maintain her balance. Declan grabbed her upper arms to steady her, then quickly let her go. He smiled and started to speak, then dropped his gaze to her feet.
In an instant his expression shifted from happy to stricken. The transformation was so abrupt, Sunshine felt as if she’d been sideswiped by something cold and dark.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He did his best to recover, shaking his head and giving her the worst fake smile ever. “Nothing. Are you all right? You nearly fell.”
“Declan, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing.”
He looked away. “Just Iris.”
“Oh.” She couldn’t quite put the pieces—“I did my toes and it’s such a girl thing. Of course. I’m sorry.”
He studied her for a second. “Sure. That’s it.”
With that, he walked past her and went into his office. She stared after him. What was going on? It was like he’d totally blown her off.
She went after him, closing his office door behind her.
“Declan, what’s wrong?”
He sat behind his desk, avoiding her gaze. “Iris painted her toes, too. Just not at first. In fact, not until the end. She was a sensible kind of person.” He looked at her. “That all changed when Iris had an affair.”
Sunshine sank onto the chair in front of his desk. An affair? How could she? “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Almost no one does. It happened several months before she got sick. I had no idea until she told me. I knew things weren’t great, but to do that? To risk everything? I couldn’t understand.”
“Did you split up?” Connor had never said anything, but maybe the trauma of his mother’s death had pushed it from his mind.
“No. I thought about leaving, but I wasn’t sure. Mostly because of Connor. I moved out of the bedroom and slept here.” He motioned to the worn sofa in his office. “We pretended, all the while she continued seeing the other guy.”
“She didn’t end things when she told you?”
“No.”
“Then why tell you?”
“I honestly have no idea. Maybe she wanted to have me be the one to end things. She talked about how charming he was, how passionate things were between them.”
Sunshine so didn’t want to hear any of this. She ached for what Declan had gone through. How could his wife have done that to him? He was such a great guy and terrific father. How could she have wanted anyone else?
“When I finally reached the point where I couldn’t do it anymore and told her we either had to fix things or be done, she begged me for time. I agreed. What I didn’t know then was she’d been diagnosed with cancer. She never said a word. It was supposed to be the easy kind, if there is such a thing. I guess she thought she’d have a few rounds of chemo and be fine. Only she wasn’t.”
He looked at her. “She told the other guy. Mr. Wonderful. She told him she was really sick and he dumped her. He didn’t want anything to do with her, so she came back to me.”
“She told you the affair was over and that she was dying?” Sunshine consciously lowered her voice. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I was furious. How could she have done this to us? I knew I would never forgive her, but what did it matter? She was dying and I had to deal with that, and Connor. She was gone in less than a month.”
“I’m so sorry.” For Connor and Declan, she thought. Not so much for Iris. “How awful for you.”
“Thanks. Sometimes I think the worst part is we never really talked about it. What was there to say? She’d chosen him over me, so our marriage was over, but I wasn’t going to leave. And there was Connor to consider. He was devastated. When my folks came to stay with us, I didn’t tell them about any of it, of course. They thought everything was fine.”
What a nightmare, she thought. How was he supposed to get over what had happened? There had been no time to make things right, no time to process. One second their marriage had been in trouble and the next Iris was dying. Who could possibly deal with that?
“You must still be angry,” she said quietly.
“Less so with time. I don’t know why she did what she did, but it happened. I’ll never know exactly what went wrong with us, but lately I’ve decided I only have to figure out my part of it. What I’m responsible for. The rest is on her.”
“Still, it’s a huge thing.” She reached down and pulled out the toe spacers. “Sorry about these.”
He smiled. “Don’t be. I’m not traumatized. It was just the shock in the moment. I’m fine now. I don’t want you to worry about painting your nails around me.”
“It is an odd trigger.”
He chuckled. “Everyone needs to be special in their own way.”
She had a lot of questions about Iris and their marriage and what he was feeling, but none of them were her business. She should probably excuse herself and go start dinner, but instead she said, “You really need to go out with Phoebe. Even if nothing comes of it, you’ll have broken the ice, so to speak.”
“Time to move on?”
“Past time.”
“And you’re an expert?” His voice was teasing.
“No, but it’s always easier to see what’s wrong with other people’s lives than our own. How can you not know that?”
“I’ll consider your advice.”
“Good.”
They looked at each other. She felt tension in the room and wasn’t sure how much of it was from what they’d just talked about and how much of it was wishful thinking on her part. If only he would kiss her, she thought before she could mentally slap herself. No kissing. No anything.
“I won’t say anything to Connor,” she told him as she got to her feet. “You have my word.”
“Sunshine, there are many things I question but you doing what’s best for my son isn’t one of them.”
* * *
Alec paced for an hour, trying to decide if he was more embarrassed or humiliated. Not that he owed anyone an explanation about his collection. The netsuke were beautiful art—master carvings, regardless of the subject matter.
But Margot might not understand or appreciate the fine workmanship. She might think he was some kind of perverted creep who—
“Alec?”
He looked up and saw her in the doorway to his office. Her eyes were wide, her expression serious.
“Margot.”
That was pretty much all he had. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. Telling her he wasn’t weird or into pornography didn’t seem designed to help his cause.
Before he could stutter through some ridiculous explanation, she began to speak.
“I want to apologize,” she told him, her gaze steady. “I was wrong to open the back of the cabinet. I knew it was a puzzle and completely forgot that you might be keeping something out of public view for a reason. Instead I was all about solving the problem.” She cleared her throat and looked away. “
I suppose on some level, I wanted to show off.”
What? He hadn’t been expecting that. “You weren’t showing off.”
She shrugged. “I kind of was. Plus, the netsuke were so fascinating. I got caught up and violated your privacy. I apologize.”
“You don’t have to.” Now it was his turn to clear his throat. “The erotic netsuke come from a time in Japanese society when baser human desires were suppressed, socially. When that happens, the resulting need often spills out into art.” He winced. “I could have phrased that more delicately.”
She stepped into the room. “I think you phrased it perfectly.”
“Thank you.”
Without planning it, he seemed to be moving closer to her. Or maybe she was moving closer to him. Regardless, they were only a foot or so apart.
“I was impressed you figured out the cabinet,” he said.
“I like puzzles.”
“As do I.”
She smiled. “The foursome was, um, curious. I’m not sure it’s physically possible.”
He smiled, as well. “I’m confident it’s not. No one has a tongue that long.”
“Or a penis like that. Plus there was only one woman. That surprised me.”
Their gazes locked. Her eyes were large and beautiful. He found everything about her appealing. No, not appealing. That was a small, inconsequential word that in no way described his feelings for Margot. She was...magnificent.
“Alec?”
He reached for her. Before his hands settled on her waist, she surged toward him. The space between them disappeared as they clung to each other. His mouth found hers. There was no soft, gentle, slow kiss. Instead there was only heat and tongues and a need to get closer and closer.
Passion swept through him, stealing his breath and his ability to think. Their kisses deepened, igniting a growing craving. The rest of the world faded. She reached for the buttons on his shirt. He undid the zipper on her dress. His task was more successful than hers because while she fumbled, he tugged the dress off her shoulders.
She laughed. “We can’t both do this at the same time.”
“You’re right.”
He undid the top two buttons of his shirt, then pulled it over his head and tossed it to the floor. She let her dress fall. He had a quick glimpse of her slim body, narrow hips and small breasts before she flung herself at him, pressing her mouth against his as she rubbed his bare chest.
She thrust her tongue into his mouth. He closed his lips around it and sucked gently. She groaned, then nipped his lower lip. He unfasted her bra and tugged it free. Even as he reached for her breasts, she was pulling his hands to her. When he ran his thumbs across her tight nipples, she sighed her pleasure.
He saw the wanting she felt and watched her pupils dilate. She ran her fingers down his belly and pressed her palm against his erection through the layers of his jeans and briefs. His hand slipped lower until he reached inside her panties and found her wet and swollen. He circled her clit and she gasped.
At that moment, it stopped being a game. He unfastened his belt while she pulled off her panties. While she scrambled to sit on the desk, he pushed down his jeans and briefs, then moved between her open thighs and let himself sink into her waiting warmth. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her legs around his hips, and drew him close.
Even as he kissed her, he slipped a hand between them so he could rub her clit, trying desperately not to give in to the building pressure inside of him. He wanted her, needed her, but not just for himself.
She leaned back and braced her arms behind her, her hips pulsing in time with his strokes. He moved his thumb against her swollen center.
“Tell me,” he growled.
She opened her eyes and smiled. “Faster and harder.”
He did as she requested, pushing down as he rubbed more quickly. The smile disappeared as her breath caught. He felt the first telltale quiver deep inside her and increased the pace of his thumb and his thrusts.
Her nipples tightened. Her breath came in pants. She ground herself against him, then arched her back, and threw back her head as she called out his name.
Her orgasm claimed her in a shuddering, rhythmic vibration that sucked him in and hung on until he had no choice but to surrender. He spilled himself into her, savoring the release. When she was still, he grabbed her hips and went in even deeper until he, too, was spent.
She collapsed onto the desk. He slowly withdrew, then pressed a kiss to her belly. They looked at each other.
“Thoughts?” he asked gently.
She motioned to the open door. “I’m just really hoping your mother doesn’t choose this moment to come home.”
Alec stared at her for a second, then threw back his head and started to laugh.
* * *
Twenty minutes later Margot was cleaned up, dressed and standing outside as Alec put steaks on the barbecue. She felt good. Happy. Content. And maybe just a little surprised.
He closed the lid and then pulled her close and kissed her. She kissed him back, enjoying the passion welling up inside of her.
When the timer dinged, they pulled apart so he could turn the steaks. After closing the lid, he turned to her.
“About what happened,” he began.
“The kiss?” She batted her eyes.
He smiled. “And before.”
“The sex?”
“That would be it, yes.”
“It was nice.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Just nice?”
“Very nice?” She laughed. “It was great.”
“I agree. I’d like to try it again. In a bed. Perhaps without my pants around my ankles.”
There were probably several reasons why getting involved with Alec was complicated. She worked for his mother. She lived in his house. She didn’t know where the whole thing was going. And yet...
She liked him. A lot. Just as important, the man turned her on. He was fun to be around and smart and she was so ready to be with someone who was actually good for her.
“I think having both of us naked is something we should explore.” Her stomach growled. She sighed. “Maybe after dinner.”
“I look forward to it.”
“Me, too.”
* * *
Alec stepped out of his shower, doing his best not to whistle. Although there was no reason to hold back. Margot had left his bed a few minutes before to get ready in her own bathroom.
He dried off, smiling the entire time. The previous evening had been better than he could have imagined. After dinner, they’d retreated to his room where they’d made love twice more before falling asleep in each other’s arms. She’d awakened him just before dawn, her mouth bringing him from drowsy to aroused in less than thirty seconds. Before he could figure out what she was doing, he’d lost control with all the finesse of a fourteen-year-old boy. She’d still been laughing when he’d returned the favor, going down on her, loving her with his mouth until she succumbed to her own release.
Margot was fun—something he’d expected, but it was wonderful to have it confirmed. He’d also lived the fantasy of having her on top, her long hair loose and hanging across his body...
His body reacted to his thoughts. He quickly changed mental topics until the manifestation eased. With luck, after breakfast, they could continue to explore each other. Of course Edna might come by, or the cleaners. Perhaps instead they could escape to Margot’s apartment.
He was still considering the options as he walked in the kitchen. The first thing he noticed was the smell of coffee. The second was his mother sitting at the kitchen table.
She raised her mug and smiled at him. “Good morning, darling. How are—” She stopped talking as she studied him. A second later, she chuckled. “You’ve had sex! That’s so nice. I assume with Margot? She really is perfect for you, and y
ou for her. I was going to start back up with my lessons today but now I think I’ll put it off until later in the week. Do you want some coffee before I head out?”
Alec had no idea how long he stood there, staring at his mother, as his mind went completely blank. No thoughts formed—not even words. When he was finally able to pull himself together, he managed to stammer, “E-excuse me,” before ducking out of the room.
He took the stairs two at a time, knocked once on Margot’s door, then let himself in.
“It’s me.”
She walked out from the bathroom, already dressed, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She laughed. “Really? Again? I have to say I love the enthusiasm, but only if you promise we can have breakfast after. You’re wearing me out.”
He stared at her. “My mother’s back and she knows we had sex. She took one look at me and just knew.”
Margot surprised him by laughing again. “Okay, that’s both awkward and funny. How on earth did she know?”
“I have no idea. She’s always been like that.” The numbness was wearing off and panic was taking its place. “What are we going to do?”
She put her hands on his chest. “It’s going to be fine. She might tease you a little, but nothing more.”
The panic receded. “I worried you’d want to leave.”
“Not at all. Unless you want me to.”
Not ever. The voice was loud and steady in his head—as if imparting a certain truth. “I don’t.”
“Then we’ll continue on as before.” She raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him. “Well, not exactly as before.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Tonight?”
“Absolutely. It’s a date.”
* * *
Sunshine had toyed with the idea of what it would be like to be in Declan’s bedroom. She avoided it, as a rule, only going in occasionally to put away linens the cleaning service had left in the dryer. Every now and then, when she was being especially foolish, she thought about them together in his room. No, not in his room, in his bed.
The Summer of Sunshine and Margot Page 23
