by Zandria West
‘Family is not just about mating or blood, Briony. Family is where you belong. It is who you would die for.’
‘But I don’t want to die for anybody,’ she says, frowning. ‘I haven’t even had my first change yet. Do you think it will hurt, when I change? They always make so much noise.’ She looks up at me, her eyes wide.
‘The pain is terrible,’ I say. There’s no point in lying about it. She’ll have to experience it soon enough. ‘It feels like every bone in your body is being broken over and over again. But the freedom you feel once you’ve turned is something I cannot describe…’
‘Is that why you did what you did? When you killed all those villagers? Was it to feel free?’
‘I… I don’t know,’ I look away. ‘Sometimes when you’re a wolf, the human part of you seems very far away. It’s easy to forget…’
‘Sorry. Grampa Paul always says I ask too many questions.’
Then as if conjured by his name being spoken, I hear the rasp of Paul’s godawful horn – one thing at least that hasn’t changed since I’ve been away. Some kind of formality must be imminent: speeches or toasts or an announcement.
I feel suddenly nervous. I am responsible for bringing Lana here. If anything goes wrong…
‘Shall we go down?’ I say quickly.
‘I’m meant to be out helping to wash clothes,’ Briony groans. ‘I hate it. I was hiding. They’ll send me away if they see me.’
‘Maybe they’ll make an exception, just this once? I can be very convincing when I need to be...’
The girl gives me a smile so wide for a moment it fills my scarred old heart.
‘Race you to the bottom!’ she cries, and scampers down the ladder before I even have the chance to accept the challenge. I can’t help the grin that creases my face as I turn and lower myself back down.
The bruises and broken bones, the humiliation of returning here: all of it is worth it, I think, to have had the chance to meet her.
12
LANA
I want to go straight after Reuben, but Alex and Gabriel stop me.
I’ve never seen him like that before. He was intense and merciless and terrifyingly efficient when he overpowered Andreas. I can tell by the stunned silence that I’m not the only one he’s made an impression on. The whole pack seem to be in a state of disbelief as Andreas dusts himself off and slinks away into the forest.
‘Give him time,’ Alex says, holding my gaze.
‘Did you know? That he has a daughter?’ I’m hardly even able to say the word.
Alex shakes his head. ‘Full of surprises, our Reuben.’
My mind is racing. I guess that was what the encounter by the river was about. But when did it happen? And how?
Scratch that, no need to ask. I know how baby werewolves are made.
I’m angry and sick with jealousy. I want answers. But it’s pretty clear that explaining his past dalliances to me isn’t the first thing on Reuben’s to-do list right now, and as much as I wish it was, I understand. We’re not going to be here for long. He should spend the time with his daughter, if he can.
I close my eyes, let out a long breath, and feel some of the tension leave me. I try to imagine what Reuben must be feeling – to have come back after so long and discover a daughter he never knew about? He was already weighed down by guilt over having left. His head must be spinning now – it’s so much for him to take in.
I lean against Alex, feeling grounded by the weight of his arm around my shoulders, the warmth of his body leaned so close to mine. Whatever it is we’ve been drinking has gone to my head. And to my knees and to… other parts of me. Gabriel is seated on the other side of me, and he’s running his fingers over the palm of my hand like he might read my future from it. We don’t speak. I feel a warm glow in my Bondmarks, and it comforts me, like a fire that reaches the coldest, darkest places in my heart. Gradually the shock and the anger drain away.
The news has clearly taken Reuben as much by surprise as the rest of us. I just have to give him some time now to deal with it.
Paul comes over a few times to check on us. A blonde-haired boy leaves a tray of food in our reach – meat on sticks mostly, which I guess makes sense. I don’t imagine there are many vegan werewolves.
‘You’d be surprised,’ Alex murmurs, his mouth pressing up against my neck just below my ear. ‘People can be mighty contradictory.’
‘Speaking of food, aren’t you getting hungry?’ I say, letting go of Gabriel’s hand so I can grab a skewer, and tearing the chunks of meat off with my teeth. I could get used to werewolf-style dining. No need to worry about table manners. All-you-can-eat protein, washed down with a drink that could probably be used as an anaesthetic if someone was in need of a quick amputation.
‘I’m not hungry for anything dead,’ Alex says, his soft breath on my neck sending a warm shiver through me.
‘Enough, Alex,’ Gabriel says. He’s trying to sound stern, but I can hear the heat in his voice. A sudden memory returns to me of lying with the two of them; the way they played with me, teased me, the pleasure they gave me. Excitement prickles my skin beneath my clothes. I’m sure they feel it too. ‘We must stay alert,’ Gabriel says, though the words sound forced. ‘Until we have a formal agreement from their alpha, this is still enemy territory...’
It seems peaceful enough for the moment. I just want to forget about everything for a little while. I ignore Gabriel, pick up the bottle beside me and take another heavy chug, shivering as the burn of the liquor works its way through my body.
‘Do what you need to do, angel, I’ll be here to protect you…’ Alex’s voice is a dangerous whisper, his fingers are stroking the length of my outer arm, and then making a path back down my inner arm. As his fingertips graze the inside of my elbow, I let out a little moan.
Okay. I definitely didn’t mean to do that. I blame the alcohol. Werewolf brew is strong.
‘Don’t leave me alone with him,’ I say to Gabriel. ‘I’m totally prime to be taken advantage of right now. I wouldn’t even put up a fight.’
‘I promise I won’t leave your side,’ Gabriel says. The tiny smile that twists his lips and the glint in his dark eyes suggest he’s thinking of more than just protecting what’s left of my virtue.
‘But seriously, when are you going to eat something?’ I say turning back to Alex.
I worry about him. He’ll start fading away, or whatever happens to vampires who don’t get enough blood.
‘Not anytime soon,’ he says sharply.
I see the hostile, mistrusting looks a young man from the group sitting nearest to us is casting at him.
‘What’s he giving you that look for?’ I ask.
‘Wolves are not too keen on my kind, angel. If they think I’m hungry, they’re liable to decide that my head would look better a few feet away from my shoulders.’
I turn to the young man and give him an outright glare. He looks confused, then slightly panicked, then turns away and does his best to pretend to ignore us.
Alex chuckles. ‘Werewolves also have excellent hearing. Almost as good as vampires. So please stop asking me when I’m going to feed, you’re just making them jumpy. I’ll be fine for a few more days. We’ll be well away from here before I need to sink my teeth into anything with a heart still beating.’
My own heart beats louder at his words, traitor that it is. It’s ridiculous that he does this to me, but I can’t pretend he doesn’t. Alex can sense my pulse as easily as he can see where the sun is in the sky, or so he’s told me. He knows every race and flutter and pounding of my heart. Even if he couldn’t read my thoughts, I still couldn’t hide a goddamned thing from him.
‘Is that so bad?’ he whispers, returning his fingers to the spot on my inner arm that turns my bones to goo.
‘Ah, I guess it has an upside,’ I murmur, leaning back against him and closing my eyes.
I’m shocked out of my reverie by the blaring of a horn. I just manage to restrain a curse. I figure
d out from the first portion of our visit that the damn thing has some kind of ceremonial importance. That noise though – I’m surprised someone hasn’t thrown the horn into a lake to be rid of it.
Paul steps onto an upturned log which serves as a small podium beside the fire.
‘Friends,’ he says, his voice booming over the murmur of conversation, which quickly stills. ‘Friends. Brothers and sisters. Guests,’ he looks across to where the three of us are sitting. ‘There are moments in the life of a Pack when there are choices to be made. Tonight, we will face one of those moments. The strangers that you see amongst us have come to us for help. They have told us that their purpose is to restore the Barrier, which is beginning to fail.’
I catch a glimpse of Reuben as he approaches with a small, dark-haired girl by his side. She looks up at him and smiles. His daughter?
Paul continues, and I hear his words vaguely on the edge of my attention. ‘Humans and werewolves have long been enemies. They see us as monsters, who kill without reason or mercy. And sometimes, that has been true.’
I tear my gaze away from the girl and back to Paul. I hear murmurs amongst the assembled group. Alex’s grip tightens around my shoulders.
‘We also know that, in our distant past, humans have brought bloody vengeance down upon us, almost wiping out the werewolf race. If it had not been for the Barrier, it is entirely possible that the Grey Pack would not exist. We certainly wouldn’t have the life that we have now, a life of freedom and safety amidst this beautiful forest.’
Paul raises his arms dramatically and gestures to the huge trees that tower around us, to the distant mountains and the vast sky. I look up and it’s like I’m seeing it all for the first time. It’s beautiful here – incredibly beautiful. I don’t know how Reuben could have left all this. I feel a sudden, sharp bite of fear that perhaps he won’t be able to leave a second time. His pack is here, his daughter, the forest and the mountains that he loves… why would he leave all this behind?
‘The question, then, is whether these people are in fact who they say they are.’ Paul’s voice hardens.
‘They bring no proof, only their word. The word of a vampire, a warlock, an outcast and a human. Why should we believe them? Why would we believe them? We all know there are riches in these forests that have been sought after by the human race in years gone by. How do we know this is not a trick? If we allow them passage, it could permit them to map our lands, find our wealth, and use the breach of the Barrier to give humans access to all of it…’
My jaw drops. He’s gone from sounding like a kindly old man to a rabid beast. While it all seems like crazy-talk to me, I can see some of the listeners nodding in agreement. A circle is beginning to form again around us. My palms start to sweat in response.
‘I’ve got an answer for you,’ I hear Reuben’s voice before I see him. He steps from just outside the circle and my heart beats faster at the sight of him. He looks different. Fiercer, wilder and more commanding than I’ve ever seen him. ‘I give you my word. I, Reuben Greyfall, son of Crowe Greyfall, blood of your Alpha. I swear to you all, on the blood of my family, that we have told you the truth. And I beg for our safe passage.’
Reuben drops down onto his knees and lowers his head to the dirt in front of Paul. I swallow. My fierce, proud werewolf is demonstrating his utter submission. I feel sick to think what it must cost him to do this, in front of everyone. There’s a moment of shocked silence. Then the sound of talking and argument erupts from the watching crowd. Reuben does not move. Neither does Paul. He stares down at his nephew, kneeling there.
‘Tomorrow we shall decide,’ Paul says finally, then turns and walks quickly away from the firepit, and into the forest.
13
LANA
Reuben approaches us, his expression wary. The circle has dispersed now that Paul has gone, and the tension seems to have dissipated, for the moment at least.
‘Thank you for your intercession,’ Gabriel says. ‘Your word still carries weight here.’
‘I hope it helped,’ Reuben says, glancing at me for a moment and then looking away.
A hundred different feelings swirl uncomfortably in my gut. The calm I felt a few minutes ago is well and truly gone.
‘We’re safe for tonight at least,’ Alex says. ‘And I for one plan to make the most of it,’ he tightens his grip around my waist, leans in and nuzzles at my neck.
‘You’re alright, Lana? They haven’t hurt you?’ Reuben doesn’t look at me this time, although his words are directed at me.
‘I’m fine,’ I say, leaning back into Alex’s embrace.
‘I… I didn’t know about Briony. I only just found out –’
All the alcohol I’ve drunk has gone to my head and I feel exhausted, miserable and unsteady. I don’t want to hear anything Reuben has to say right now. I don’t trust myself not to respond in a way that I’ll regret.
‘You don’t have to explain,’ I say. ‘It’s none of my business.’
‘But Lana, I –’
I turn to Alex and graze my lips against his rough-stubbled cheek, feeling a longing burn through my veins.
‘Don’t think she wants to hear it right now, old boy,’ Alex says, then leans in and kisses me deeply.
‘Come. Let’s walk together,’ I hear Gabriel say to Reuben. ‘I’d like to learn more about the history of the Pack…’ And I sense them moving away, leaving Alex and me thankfully alone.
I’m furious at Reuben, I realise. I want to make him jealous. I want to hurt him. It’s the most basic instinct: retaliation. And I’m furious at myself because I know it’s not fair. Whatever happened between him and Vera was in the distant past. He doesn’t deserve my anger. Since I met him, he’s done nothing but treat me with kindness and care. Knowing that doesn’t make me feel any less pissed off, though.
Alex runs his fingers through my hair and pulls, the sudden pain distracting me, then he parts my lips with his tongue and draws me closer. We kiss for a few long desperate moments before he pulls away. My anger has melted just a little, but it’s left something sad and broken in its place.
‘He’s gone,’ Alex says, his voice raw. ‘But angel, once you’ve calmed down, hear Reuben out. It’s important not to let these bad feelings take root, or they’ll infect the bond.’
I bite back a sharp response, knowing that he’s right. His kiss just saved me from a situation I wasn’t ready to deal with. I feel a rush of gratitude.
‘Don’t get used to it,’ he murmurs. ‘We can’t make out every single time you’re feeling upset or uncomfortable.’
‘You’re sure about that?’ I lean in closer and tilt my mouth up to his, knowing that he won’t be able to resist.
I sleep badly. I mostly just lie awake, listening to the sounds of the forest stirring around us in the darkness. They’re here, all three of them in the one small shelter that we were given. Reuben came in last, very late. I didn’t see him at all for most of the night, but now he lies across the entrance as if to guard it. It’s more of a comfort than I want to admit. Alex lies beside me, sculpting the shape of my body to fit against his. And Gabriel sits, sleepless, keeping watch.
‘Lie down,’ I murmur to him. ‘Please. You need to sleep.’
He shakes his head and doesn’t move. He looks almost like a statue sitting there in the dark.
I give up and roll closer to Alex again and close my eyes, but it doesn’t help. I can feel Gabriel’s uneasy wakefulness through the bond.
The thing I didn’t quite realise before we came here is that the choice isn’t whether the Grey Pack will help us or send us back to the city to try another route to reach my mother. The choice is whether the Grey Pack will help us or whether they will kill us. And I’m pretty sure I know which way most of the pack are leaning.
Luckily, as Alex has assured me, this is far from a democracy. Everything comes down to Paul. He makes the decisions. He takes responsibility for the consequences.
‘Your thoughts are parti
cularly loud tonight, angel,’ Alex groans. ‘Can you tone them down just a bit? Whatever’s going to happen tomorrow, I’d rather face it well-rested.’
I close my eyes and try to be quiet. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, try just to focus on my breath. My brain is buzzing even though I’m exhausted. I know Alex is right. Staying awake tonight won’t help whatever we have to deal with tomorrow. He squeezes me tighter and I feel him shifting my hair to kiss the back of my neck; all my Bondmarks tingle in response.
‘I’m always right,’ he whispers.
I elbow him, but somehow, a few minutes later, I manage to drift off to sleep.
Waking up to the sound of the damned horn certainly doesn’t improve my mood. It’s like it was specifically designed to exacerbate the after-effects of a hangover. I sit up blearily. It’s very early. The sun is only just rising, the sky is tinged with the faintest hues of pink and purple. Alex is up, awake and alert, before I’ve even had the chance to rub the sleep from my eyes. Gabriel is watching us. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep at all. And Reuben growls as he wakes, as though he were dreaming in wolf form.
‘It’s too early,’ he says gruffly. ‘Why is it so early? What does it mean?’
The horn goes again, the sound bone-rattling and ear-numbingly awful.
‘I guess it means your uncle has something to say,’ I close my eyes and bury my face between my knees, wishing it was all over and I was somewhere else entirely.
‘Well, whatever it is, we face it together,’ Gabriel says, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.
I follow him out of the tent with a sense of foreboding. I see members of the Grey Pack emerging from their dwellings, looking sleepy and confused and angry. Paul is waiting for us, standing astride the podium, ready to make another speech. I see an axe resting at his feet.
Um. Okay. That’s not scary at all.
Alex squeezes my hand. ‘It’ll be alright. I promise.’
