Body Switches

by Barbara G. Tarn

  "For lunch?" Chris grabbed one toast and his mug.

  "Oh, no, much earlier than that."

  "Whatever. Remember, tonight we go to Rick's."

  "Yeah, right, I've got to make the cake! I'll start working on it as soon as you leave."

  Chris looked suspiciously at him, so he smiled innocently.

  Chris shook his head and drank his coffee. He grabbed another toast and left.

  Johnny snorted and sat down to devour his breakfast.

  ***

  Marian couldn't keep it all to herself. She needed to talk to someone. She went to wait for Valery at lunch time, and saw her coming out of the building at the usual time.

  "Valery!" she called.

  Her friend stopped and stared at her, surprised. "Yes?"

  "Hi, um... I really need to talk to someone, here, and you're sort of my best friend, and..."

  "Excuse me?" Valery looked outraged. "Who the hell are you?"

  "I'm the young man you're supposed to meet, according to Samantha's prediction, of course." Marian couldn't keep all sarcasm off her voice. But Valery's reaction was normal. Still, she had to get through to her friend by being herself and telling her things only she would know.

  Valery looked horrified. "Who told you that?"

  "You did. Well, I looked like myself last time we spoke. I'm Marian, Valery, and I've been punished for wishing to be a man. As you can see, I'm living it, and I'm not really enjoying it, even if this body looks great and is younger than mine."

  "You're most certainly not my friend Marian!" Valery declared, adamant. "She's at home, sick! You better stay away from me, young man!"

  Marian hesitated. Valery was obviously not ready for the truth. "Fine. You can mention me as Johnny to her, when you see her tonight at Cathy's, she'll understand."

  She left with a sigh. The fridge was empty, so she went to the supermarket. Then she went out again, and found herself outside of Chris's office.

  She saw him come out with a couple of colleagues. He stopped for a brief chat, then waved good-bye with a smile. He didn't notice her – why should he, she was in Johnny's body.

  She followed him with her eyes until he disappeared in his car and sighed. She missed him.

  "You know he's straight, don't you?" The handsome exec was in his thirties and had stopped to stare at her with an appreciative smile.

  "Who?" she asked absentmindedly.

  The young man pointed at the direction Chris left. "Chris. Saw you watching him. He's married, you can forget about him."

  She focused on him, suspicious. "How do you know?"

  "I made a pass at him. Or at least I tried. My name is Alan, by the way." He extended a hand with a smile.

  Without thinking, Marian slapped him and stomped away. Gay men were trying to steal her husband from all sides! Why didn't Chris ever mention it? Did that Alan steal a kiss from Chris? And was it the same Alan that "awoke" Sebastian? Too many questions and no answers.

  A traffic jam where horns kept honking covered her scream of frustration. Torn between Chris and Seb, she rushed back to Sebastian's house, still upset.

  ***

  Chris stared at the cake in disbelief. Marian stood proudly next to it and the kitchenette was a mess, as if she had really prepared it herself, but it looked as if it came out of a high-quality confectioner's shop.

  "I thought you weren't supposed to buy anything," he said, stunned.

  "I bought the ingredients," Marian replied. "You can't make a cake out of thin air."

  "You mean you actually made this?"

  "Yeah, why?"

  "Aren't you overdoing it, all of a sudden?"

  "Me? I love cooking! I've been thinking I should quit my day job and start a catering service."

  "Are you nuts?" he exploded. "What possesses you lately?"

  "Nothing, why?" she complained. "I thought I was doing fine – the party, the dinners, the massage, the look..."

  "Yeah, you look more and more like Sophie," he snapped, irritated. He knew how much Marian hated being compared to Sophie – thank God they were so different! – but the new Marian was really getting on his nerves.

  "Sophie who?" she asked, puzzled.

  He glared at her. "You know, my ex-girlfriend." Impossible she could have forgotten about Sophie. Maybe she had really lost it.

  "The one you were with when I met you?" She sounded unsure, as if she was guessing, not remembering.

  "Exactly. She was always overdoing things only to be the center of the attention." Something that got on both their nerves after some time. She had been his high-school sweetheart, but moving on and meeting other women, he had realized she was really not for him. He had actually bonded with Marian one day that Sophie had completely ignored him to be the queen of a party.

  "And you don't like this?" Marian looked confused.

  "No, I don't like sharing my wife with everyone in the room." That was the reason why he had married her, because she was shy and anti-social. What was going on in her head that she had forgotten how much both loathed Sophie and her likes?

  "OK, I'll be nice and subdued all evening if you prefer," she sighed, lowering her eyes.

  "And what do we do with the cake?"

  "We eat it with our friends?"

  "Fine, whatever. I'll have a shower, and then we can go."

  "I need one too... I'll join you."

  "No. Clean this mess first."

  He stormed to the bathroom, still fuming. He looked forward to the end of that wretched week.

  7.

  Johnny was not happy with Chris. But if Marian's husband wanted to make it difficult, he'd make it difficult for him. Chris's friends were two couples, Valery and Steve, Cathy and Rick. They were about the same age, and apparently Valery was Marian's Luke. Johnny was pissed off at Marian for not telling him about it.

  Cathy brought his cake out and everyone was awed – except Chris, of course.

  "Oh, my! You did that?" Valery asked, impressed.

  "Yep," he answered, proud of himself. "Took me all afternoon, but I thought my friends were worth the effort."

  He didn't mention he had flirted with the son of the grocery store owner, or that he had invited Luke and Doris for a paella lunch. And he ignored Chris's glare, as he was overdoing it again on purpose.

  When the cake was almost finished, Rick grabbed a bottle of champagne. "And now I think a celebration is in order, right?" He winked.

  "Yeah, Chris, don't you have anything to say?" His wife, Cathy, was beaming.

  Johnny was very curious now, but Chris didn't look happy.

  "Oh, I see Steve can't keep his mouth shut, as usual," he snapped, ignoring his friend's chuckle.

  "What is it?" Johnny asked.

  "You haven't even told your wife yet?" Valery sounded surprised.

  "As a matter of fact, no," Chris answered bluntly. Johnny didn't know if he wanted to slap him or kiss him.

  "I received the promotion today." Chris said it while staring at his empty plate, unsmiling.

  "Told ya!" Valery elbowed Johnny who was too stunned to reply.

  As the champagne flowed, they all cheered and toasted. Johnny kissed Chris, who didn't return it, and quickly averted his eyes and his face. He didn't touch his champagne either, and Johnny sulked, wondering what to do. Promotion meant more money – he could have the boobs job if he didn't upset Chris too much.

  Soon he found himself in Cathy's kitchen, while the men stayed in the living room.

  "So, did you guys visit Samantha or not?" Cathy asked.

  "The astrologer?" Johnny brightened. He had totally forgotten about her. "I used to see her every day!"

  "No you didn't!" Valery chided. "You ran away when I asked you to come with me."

  "I did? My, what was I thinking!" Johnny snorted. Stupid, stupid Marian. He should consult with Samantha again. Although, what for? He had what he wanted now.

  "Anyway, she predicted I'd meet a handsome young man, and guess what? It happened!" Va
lery announced.

  "Really? How is he?" Cathy asked.

  "Cute. But weird. He knew strange things about me. I freaked out."

  "Shame on you! You missed an opportunity!"

  "Well, I do love Steve... I just wished for some adventure, but not like this!"

  Cathy shook her head while Johnny pondered adultery.

  "He said to mention his name to you and that you'd understand," Valery told him, staring at him. "Do you know a Johnny by any chance?"

  Johnny brightened. "Of course I do! Isn't he gorgeous? Well, I know, he's also totally gay, so for your adventure..." He shook his head, knowing Marian would never kiss another woman ever again.

  "You told him about the prediction and he played a trick on me!" Valery accused.

  "Uhm... I can't tell what I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

  "But you know this Johnny-boy!"

  "Yes, I do, but we haven't discussed you, yet. Which is a shame, I know his best friend and he doesn't know mine." Well, maybe Marian had tried to talk to Valery and failed. Maybe they weren't as close as him and Luke.

  "Why don't you bring him over next time?" Cathy suggested with a mischievous smile. "Do you think Chris would be jealous?"

  "Chris knows he's gay. He's one of his client's boyfriend."

  "The blond interior designer?" Valery asked.

  "Yeah, that's him. They're both great." For a moment he missed Sebastian, especially since Chris was being so difficult.

  "Still, you shouldn't talk to Johnny about us, he might be gay, but he's still a man," Valery scolded him.

  "OK, I won't tell him anything of what happened tonight, promise! By the way, you should try to kiss him, he tastes real good." He licked his lips at the memory.

  "You kissed him?" Cathy was shocked.

  "Yeah, he's gay, so he ran away, but it was worth a try," he chuckled.

  "Jeez, Marian, I don't know if I could do it," Valery said.

  "Try it." Johnny winked. "Trust me."

  ***

  Because it was Friday night, Sebastian and Marian had dined with Luke and Gabe, and then they had gone all together at a gay disco bar.

  Marian liked dancing, especially Seventies disco, so she closed her eyes and followed the rhythm, until someone tapped on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw a blond transsexual staring at her.

  "Hey Johnny! Did you talk to Seb?" He might have bigger boobs than her, but his voice was still very deep. She suspected it might be Doris, Johnny's transsexual friend.

  "About what?" she asked.

  "Tomorrow! You promised another party! Can we all come, Seb?" The blond sensation turned to Sebastian for the last sentence.

  "Sure," Sebastian answered. "Rosa will hate you all on Monday, but I guess it can be done."

  "We'll clean it all up, promise!"

  "Yeah, like you did last time! Besides, the worst is Johnny when he cooks."

  "Am... am I supposed to do something?" Marian asked, worried.

  "Of course, darling! Although, you know, Luke introduced me to this woman, she's almost as good as you."

  "Good at what?"

  "Cooking! Why are you so dense today? She even asked me where I got my breasts!"

  "Oh, would that be Marian?" she asked, starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knew what else Johnny had done with her body.

  "Yes, do you know her?"

  "Of course I do." She scoffed, glancing at Luke. He hadn't bothered her all night, so he probably knew.

  "Why don't you invite her, then?" Sebastian suggested. "I'm obviously the only one who hasn't met her."

  Luke nodded vigorously from behind Sebastian.

  Marian hesitated. "Actually, you have," she told Sebastian. "She's Christian Randall's wife."

  "Oh. That Marian." Sebastian looked puzzled. "Didn't really talk to her... Where did you meet her?"

  "Long story." She averted her eyes.

  "Is she invited then?" Luke asked.

  "Sure, I'll call her."

  Luke gave her thumbs up then dragged her away, grumbling an excuse to Sebastian. They stopped outside the club, where it was easier to hear each other talk.

  "Look, I know who you are, really," Luke said. "I know you can't cook. Just call him, he'll know what to do."

  "You... know?" Marian was a little skeptical.

  "Yeah, Johnny's my best friend, and you might have his body, but you're definitely not him."

  "Thank God!" She snorted.

  "Don't you dare speak ill of him!" Luke threatened.

  "I say what I please," she retorted. "I'm fed up with you spoiled brats. I intend to be myself even if I'm in his body."

  "You shouldn't mess up his life!" Luke frowned.

  "He's the one messing up, I'm only cleaning up. Was that Doris, by the way?"

  "Of course, why?"

  "And he admires those boobs?"

  "Yeah, he wanted some too. Now he has yours but he wants them bigger."

  "I know. But if he touches my body, I'll mutilate his and that's final."

  "You're a frigid bitch."

  They glared at each other. Sebastian stepping out of the club to look for them was the only thing that prevented them from continuing their argument.

  "What's going on?" Sebastian demanded.

  "It's a fight, stay out of it," Luke snapped.

  "We're having a discussion." Marian frowned, keeping her eyes on Luke.

  "I thought you were friends," Sebastian objected.

  "Sometimes even the best of friends fight," Luke grumbled. He was obviously intimidated by Sebastian.

  "Why, because he's not wearing a dress?" Sebastian asked coldly.

  Luke hesitated. "Yeah, we miss Marilyn! I bet he won't even get on stage tonight!"

  Marian scoffed. "I certainly won't."

  "Cool, you can dance with me, then." Sebastian smiled, taking her hand.

  She readily followed him back inside, sticking her tongue out at Luke. If they could be childish, so could she.

  ***

  Chris slammed the car's door closed, irritated by Marian's relaxed happiness by his side, and started the engine.

  "Oh, man, I love those women!" Marian said as he drove home. "Shall we go dancing?"

  "No," he answered bluntly.

  "C'mon, baby, it's Friday night!" she insisted. "You wanna keep it for the Saturday night fever?"

  "I said no. I'm tired."

  "Again?" She snorted. "You're boring!"

  "I worked all week, I didn't call in sick!" he retorted sharply.

  "Fine, whatever." She shrugged. "Tomorrow, then."

  "I doubt it," he grumbled.

  "Why, you don't like dancing?" she asked, puzzled.

  "You know me better than that," he answered sarcastic. He was the dancer between the two of them. Marian liked to sing Tina Charles' "I love to love" to him. Although they actually had the same tastes, it was only a private joke that he liked dancing more than her.

  "I don't know you anymore!" She pouted.

  "No, I don't know you anymore!" he exploded, exasperated. "You said you'd behave and then you did it again!"

  "Sorry, I guess that's what I am." It was her turn to grumble.

  "No, you're not. Not the woman I married, at least."

  "You married a boring person. Aren't you happy I changed?"

  "No. I'd have married Sophie if I had wanted this."

  "Very well, you can sleep on the couch tonight."

  "Fine, whatever." He didn't care. Better sleep alone than with a stranger that looked like his wife.

  ***

  "How come you asked to leave so early?" Sebastian asked, worried, as he drove home.

  "I'm tired," Marian answered, feeling wrecked. "I had a tough week."

  "Oh. Wanna talk about it?"

  "You're sweet, Seb, but I'm afraid I won't be able to explain any of it." She sighed and closed her eyes.

  "You could try," he insisted gently.

 
; "No, forget it. It will go away. I hope."

  "I don't know what it is, but I like it."

  She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was smiling.

  "If you love Johnny, don't like him as he is now," she said with a heavy heart. She was hurting him by being herself. He was liking her too much.

  His smile vanished, the worried frown came back. "I don't get you."

  "I told you it's complicated."

  "You're not your usual self, but people change."

  "Don't get too used to it."

  Sebastian shook his head in disbelief.

  "I'm sorry, maybe in a few days I'll be able to explain everything," she continued patiently.

  "Hope it's not your friend Marian still bothering you."

  "She bothers me, but not for the reasons you think."

  "OK, I give up. You tell me when you're ready." Sebastian flashed a smile at her and she wearily smiled back.

  "Deal."

  8.

  Johnny woke up alone and didn't like it. Chris had obediently slept on the couch and Johnny was ready to forgive him. He caressed Chris's pillow with a sigh. Definitely time to forget the previous evening's fight.

  He rushed out of bed and jumped on the couch where Chris was still sleeping, showering him with kisses and trying to undress him.

  Startled awake, Chris tried to resist, but he was no match for Johnny's desire. He knew very well how to arouse another man and happily rode him with his new female attributes that gave him as much pleasure as his lost dick.

  He cuddled Chris after the wildest sex they could have, but Marian's husband didn't look happy.

  "Can we go back to bed and spend the day there?" he pleaded, hoping to bring back Chris's smile with more intimate games.

  "No," was the sharp reply.

  "Why not? It's Saturday!" Johnny protested.

  "I have to see my mother." Chris untangled himself from Johnny's body, avoiding eye contact.

  "Are you still mad at me?" Johnny grabbed his wrist. "I thought I had properly apologized!"

  "I need a break."

  "From me? I thought we could celebrate your promotion all weekend! I was planning a nice midday meal and..."

  "I have to tell my mother about the promotion, right?"

  "Can't you tell her on the phone?" Johnny was jarred by Chris's hostility. He knew he was losing the battle.

  "No." Chris freed his wrist and stared at him with a frown. "I'll be back this afternoon. Why don't you do the cleaning you haven't done all week while I'm away? This place is a mess!"