He grabbed his clothes and walked towards the bedroom.
"Can't we hire a maid?" Johnny pleaded. He never thought he'd actually miss Rosa. "I know a very good Mexican woman..."
Chris stopped at the bedroom door and turned to look sternly at him. "Maybe, but not today. Do your duties as I've done mine. See you later."
He disappeared in the bedroom, leaving Johnny to sulk on the couch.
***
Marian checked the contents of cupboards and drawers, the fridge and the oven, then sighed. She picked up the cell phone and called home. Luckily Johnny picked up.
"Good morning," she said unenthusiastically. "Yesterday your friend Doris had Sebastian's permission for a party, so Luke said I should call you for help. And you're invited, by the way."
"Sure, I'll come, if you send Rosa here in return!" Johnny sounded relieved.
"Rosa doesn't come on Saturdays, I'm told," she replied. "Should I call her?"
"OK, here's the deal," Johnny said. "You come over to clean your house, and I come over to prepare the party."
"What will Chris have to say about this?"
"He won't know, I promise! He's gone, he was in a filthy mood anyway. Does he spend all his Saturdays with his mom?" He sounded disgusted.
Marian was stunned for a second. "No, he visits her only when he needs advice and can't find anything useful among his friends," she answered carefully. "What have you done?"
"Me? Nothing! I guess the promotion is bothering him."
"So he got it, great!" She smiled, relieved.
"Shouldn't you be celebrating together?" Johnny asked. He sounded whiny now.
"Normally yes, but again, what have you done?" she replied, sarcastic.
"Nothing! I didn't clean the house, is he going to cry on his mommy's shoulder because I forgot?"
"I don't think that's the point." Marian gave up. "Anyway, we have a deal. I'll come over for the cleaning, and then you'll come over for the party."
"Great! At least I'm cooking for someone!"
Marian regretted the deal as soon as she set foot in her apartment. With a sigh, she took the vacuum cleaner. Johnny was cooking, and he served her a perfect lunch.
"You're a little bastard, but you definitely can cook," she had to admit.
"I know, baby... wanna learn?" Johnny grinned.
"Maybe in my next life!"
For the first time since the body switch, they smiled fondly at each other.
They cleaned the kitchen and went back to Sebastian's for the second part of the deal. Luke soon joined them and both him and Marian followed Johnny's instructions.
Sebastian showed up on the kitchen door. "Are you done yet?"
A chorus of "No!" made him smile.
"We'll call you when we're ready," Johnny said. "Why don't you go for a walk?" He shooed him off with one hand.
Sebastian looked at Marian, then back at Johnny. "You sound just like Johnny when he's in the kitchen." He grinned at Marian who averted her eyes, embarrassed, then left.
"Well, you're doing great, I see," Johnny said.
"He's sweet and he loves you," she grumbled.
"Honey, he loves you, I have a female body he's not interested in at the moment," Johnny retorted.
"Well, it's the same with Chris." She shrugged. "He loves me, but not in this body."
"I'm sorry, I messed up, I guess..."
"Why don't you invite him to the party and make peace?" She suggested, trying to hide her desire to see her husband and hear his voice one more time.
"Excellent idea!" Johnny beamed and turned to Luke. "You'll see, my husband is a hunk!"
Marian glared at him, placing the call and passing the phone to Johnny. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. Watching Chris with Johnny-in-her-body might be even worse.
***
Chris pulled over in front of Sebastian's house. He got out of the car and stared at the elegant building for a moment. Nice big house, but Sebastian was an interior designer, and Chris was very curious to see inside.
He still wasn't sure how Marian had got the invitation, but the party was obviously already in full swing. Music and laughter came out of the house and there were people talking and drinking in the front lawn – mostly transvestites.
Chris shook his head, wondering if he'd see his client in drag as well, and headed for the open front door. He went through the ground floor, admiring the flawless design while trying to locate the house owner without staring at the guests. He reached the French windows to the back garden and saw Marian talking to Sebastian, sexier than ever in a sequin short dress he hadn't seen at home. She also looked very intimate with Sebastian, which didn't please him at all.
"You know them, but you don't know me." The voice behind him startled him. He turned to find an androgynous youth in jeans and T-shirt staring at him, serious. "I'm Johnny, Sebastian's boyfriend."
The boy offered his hand. Chris hesitated, then shook it.
"How do you know I'm Marian's husband?" he asked, puzzled.
"She has a picture of you in her wallet. And you're the only new face in this house tonight."
"Oh. Thanks for inviting me."
"Our pleasure." The boy pulled back with a frown and Chris saw Marian coming towards him, followed by a plump twenty-something.
"Welcome, love!" She kissed him, and grabbed his hand. "Let me introduce you. This is Luke."
Chris shook Luke's hand, unconvinced. Sebastian came to greet him, and then Marian dragged him to meet transsexual Doris and the others. Chris wondered when on earth she had found the time to make all those new gay friends. He knew she liked M/M romance, both books and movies, but didn't think she'd go this far as to actually meeting and befriending gay men and drag queens.
***
Marian stayed inside, watching Chris moving from guest to guest from behind the window glass. He looked lost and perplexed, and she could imagine why. She sighed as Johnny failed once again to impress her beloved husband.
Sebastian joined her. "You're so quiet..." he observed. "You left everything in Marian's hands."
"She's better than me at this," she answered sourly.
"Do you want me to introduce you to her husband?"
"I already met him, thank you."
"Oh, sorry, I thought you were still under the influence of your unusual shyness. How come you let Marian wear your sequin dress – you don't want to dress up for your friends?"
"No way! I'll keep my men's clothes today."
"Great!" Sebastian grinned and kissed her passionately.
Poor Sebastian. He didn't know half of the guests, all Johnny's friends. And Johnny was being his usual self with her body. And Chris.
***
Chris saw Sebastian kiss his boyfriend through the window and half smiled. What a happy pair. He was glad they both wore plain male clothes, as the drag queens were getting on his nerves.
"Aren't they a great couple?" Marian asked, beaming.
"Yeah. How come you got invited to this house before me?"
Marian put her arm under his and dragged him away from the crowd. "I met Johnny in a shop and we started talking and I asked him out."
"You what?" Chris couldn't believe his ears.
"Yeah, well, he's gay, so don't worry," she shrugged.
"But you're married!"
"Oh, sure, but, honey, I knew he was gay! I was just curious! And then I find out he's your client's boyfriend! Isn't the world small?"
"Very small indeed," he said through clenched teeth.
"How about Doris?" she asked. "Don't you love her tits?"
"Not really, no."
"I was thinking I could enhance mine..."
"No!" Here went the weirdness again. What was possessing her lately?
"Why not?" she pouted. "Do you really like these mosquito bites?"
"I've always believed that anything more than a handful is a waste."
"I thought real men liked big boobs."
"I don't know abo
ut the others, I prefer small to medium size, just enough to fully enjoy exploring."
"Oh." She looked disappointed. She had never wanted bigger breasts before. And she knew how he liked her. Memory loss or split personality?
"You haven't done that lately, though" she chided. "The exploring thing."
"You didn't really give me time," he replied.
"Can we go home and catch up?" she pleaded. "I still have to make myself forgiven..."
"I just got here."
"And you really want to stay?" She grinned. "A straight man among all these faggots that keep staring at your ass? What if they start touching it?"
Chris smiled against his will. "Right, let's go home."
9.
Marian made the bed, thinking it was strange not going back to work on Monday morning. Johnny's shifts could be interesting. Pity she loved her routine and hated the phone – working at a call center was sheer torture. She wondered if Johnny had bothered to go to work, or had called in sick again.
"You're doing my job, señor," Rosa chided, appearing on the door.
Marian smiled apologetically. Her cell phone rang and she picked it up, relieved. Rosa shook her head as Marian answered the call.
It was Johnny. "I've been here only five minutes and I'm lost already! I can't do it, I can't be you!"
Hiding an internal sigh, Marian kept her voice calm. "Don't panic. Stay calm."
Rosa shooed her out of the bedroom, and Marian went downstairs where she opened the laptop. "Now tell me exactly what you've been told to do."
The week went by quickly enough, and in spite of her hating Johnny's job, at the end of her shift the following Friday, her supervisor stopped her.
"Congratulations, Johnny, I had almost given up hope with you."
"Thanks," she answered, depressed. "It's not going to pay a mortgage, but thanks."
"Why, you have a mortgage now?" the supervisor asked, puzzled.
"No, I just wish I could afford one. Have a nice weekend."
***
"Here we go. This settles all." Sebastian signed the forms and handed them back to Chris.
"It sure does." Chris put down the papers, unable to look his client in the eyes. "I've been meaning to tell you... You have a beautiful house."
"Thanks," Sebastian smiled. "But I didn't know your wife knew my boyfriend."
"Me neither. Johnny looks very nice."
"Ah, well, he's getting better! He's quieter, lately. I still don't know what goes on in his head, but at least he stopped dressing like a drag queen."
"Really? That's funny, because Marian changed too, lately. She started dressing and behaving like a real bitch!" Chris couldn't keep the sourness out of his voice. He never thought one day he'd envy the happiness of a gay couple.
"I'm sure it's just a phase. My wife did that a lot – it was another reason to get rid of her."
"Really? What did she do?" Chris stared at him, curious.
"When she started dressing up, I knew she was seeing someone else. Afterward she begged forgiveness, of course, but one day I decided not to forgive her anymore."
"After you met that guy."
"Yeah, well, let's say he helped to clear my mind. Johnny tended to be like that – he wanted to go out, see other men – but now he's changed."
"So is Marian."
"Maybe she has a lover. Can you believe even Johnny is worried? He never gave a damn about any woman! Except his astrologer, of course."
"But he worries for Marian."
"Yes! I can't really tell you what bothers him, but he's worried."
"I'm still wondering where and how they met and became friends." Chris shook his head, unhappy.
"Trust me, you don't really want to know. These things are better left unknown," Sebastian said as if he had a wisdom Chris didn't possess.
"Maybe, but I'd really love to know what's actually going on. I feel like I'm losing my wife." He felt whiny and vulnerable as well, but talking to a stranger was helping. Sort of.
"I don't know about that. Mind you, boyfriends aren't much different, especially young ones. Maybe we should stay single and have fuck buddies instead."
"That's an interesting thought."
Sebastian checked his watch. "I have to go. It's probably nothing with your wife, but good luck."
Chris shook his hand and when he was alone, he sighed. Maybe Sebastian was right. Fuck steady relationships, trying to build something together...
He gulped down the lump in his throat. No, he wouldn't cry. But seeing his marriage falling apart was breaking his heart.
***
Valery saw Johnny walking, oblivious, ahead of her. Marian's words in Cathy's kitchen came back to her. She pursed her lips and thought, Why not?
She rushed forward to catch up with him.
"Johnny!" she called, but he stopped and turned around only when she grabbed his arm.
"Hi, Valery, what's up?" he asked, surprised. "Changed your mind about me?"
Valery was still trying to catch her breath, more for her boldness than from the short run.
"I talked to Marian... May I?"
She could barely contain her excitement. She grabbed his face and kissed him. Boy, he tasted good! Marian was so right! And he was so cute and young and...
He pulled back immediately, horrified. "What do you think you're doing?" he protested.
"She's right, you do taste good," she said, still dreamy.
Johnny opened his mouth, closed it, and then frowned, obviously counting to ten before speaking. "I see he has twisted everything, as usual! You better stay away from me, then!"
"Why? Are you sure you're gay? Don't you want to try women?"
"No! I'm not a lesbian, and I wouldn't marry you anyway! Just go back to Steve and forget your wishes!"
He stomped away, leaving her stunned on the sidewalk. A boy calling himself a lesbian? And how did he know about Steve and her wish? Marian?
Something sounded wrong with the whole situation.
***
It was a quiet night for Chris – as quiet as he could get with the new Marian, anyway. She chatted away heedlessly, so he nodded and responded only when interrogated. Not their usual evening meal, neither for the excellent food nor for the flood of words coming out of his wife's mouth.
"Shall we go out?" Marian asked as they finished dinner.
Chris stared at her. "And who's going to work tomorrow?"
"No one! We stay in bed, what do you say?" she suggested eagerly.
"I say you never wanted to go out that often before, what is possessing you lately?" he snapped, jarred by her behavior again.
"Nothing, I only want to have fun!" She sulked.
"Our idea of fun was never going out."
"But I like meeting people. Those gays are so fun! Why don't we go to a gay disco bar?"
God, was she obsessed! Her interest in gay stories had become impossible. "Because we're a straight couple," he reminded her, trying to stay calm.
"C'mon! It's going to be fun!"
"Marian, don't be childish. I don't want to go out, I'm tired!"
Tired of her new behavior, mostly. Tired of her sudden sociability. She had never been this childish either, not even in her twenties! Again, she was behaving like Sophie. If he had dumped Sophie for Marian, he had his reasons. And if Marian insisted on behaving like Sophie, no matter how much he had loved her, he couldn't spent the rest of his life with her.
***
"You wanted to go out every night before this quiet phase of yours," Sebastian said, worried, as they went to bed.
"I'm sorry, I guess my idea of fun is very romantic and not very popular," Johnny grumbled, keeping his T-shirt and underwear. Not only he didn't want to go out, but he was also reticent with sex, and didn't sleep naked anymore.
"Oh, you mean you'd rather stay in with me?" Sebastian asked, puzzled.
"I'd rather stay with the one I love, yes."
"And I'm not him?"
"You
're gorgeous, Seb, and sweet, but no, you're not the one." Johnny finally looked at him. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to move out?"
Sebastian was too stunned to speak. He knew Johnny was childish and spoiled and often quite brainless, but those words – those sad eyes – weren't from the boyfriend he had chosen.
"Tell me Marian has nothing to do with this," he said at last, frowning.
Johnny smiled ruefully. "You might actually fall in love with her if it's the flamboyant Johnny you love."
"I don't follow you." Frustration made him blunter than what he wanted, but he was running out of patience. "I'm not sure I like this anymore."
Johnny sighed. "I'm sorry. I wish... I wish I knew how this happened and what I should do to take it back." He averted his eyes again and hung his head in defeat.
Sebastian stared at him. Johnny wasn't pretending. He was really unhappy. But why? "You lost me again. But you can stay until you find another place."
"I'm sorry. Maybe I should look for a motel."
"You're not going anywhere this time of the night! We'll sleep on it, I'm sure it will pass."
"I sure hope so too," Johnny whispered, lying down to sleep.
Sebastian switched off the light without kissing him goodnight for the first time.
***
Marian was happy to see her paycheck higher than expected. She decided Sebastian deserved a real meal even if she wasn't as good as Johnny in the kitchen. So she went to the supermarket, looking for her little cooking specialties – Chris loved them, and she wondered if Seb would appreciate them too.
"Hey, Johnny. How are you doing?" It was Samantha, with a knowing smile on her face.
"Do I know you?" Marian asked, unsure.
"Of course you do. I'm your trusted astrologer."
Gee, Johnny was really stupid if he trusted the gypsy. She rolled her eyes and heard Samantha chuckle.
"You must be happy, as you don't visit me anymore," the gypsy said.
"Actually, I'm not."
"Why, don't you feel good now that your wish came true?"
"What wish?"
Samantha winked. "You and Sebastian."
Marian got the impression Samantha was actually talking to her, not Johnny.
"Me and Sebastian are breaking up," she snapped.
Body Switches Page 6
