Human

by C R MacFarlane

  He had left Indaer when it became Etar, when the Speakers learned things about him they never wanted to know, and he had planned never to come back. Planned to die a peaceful old death out under the stars, having never uttered a single word again.

  In the far corner, as distant from him as she could make herself, Rayne crouched in the corner. She didn’t cry — she never cried — and somehow that was worse. Because he could see just how much he had hurt her, could watch as she bundled every little piece of it up and tucked it away.

  She had followed him so far from home, barely visiting the planet because he had wanted her with him, and now she was so close but further than ever. Her life was ruined, all because of him. And what did he know anyway? What business did he have wrecking everyone around him?

  “I think you need to tell her the truth.”

  Gal glanced warily at Aaron.

  “About everything.”

  “Shut up.” Gal pushed himself off the wall and marched pointedly to the centre of the roof, where he laid with his head against the hard con-plas, staring up at the stars. Blatantly refusing to meet the gazes he felt boring into his skin, he forced himself to sleep, drifting off against a backdrop of muffled coughing and his own regret.

  * * *

  Sarrin dreamed of ungulate creatures, of a forest, of a place where everyone knew everyone. For the first time, the dream-world held people. They were scared, but she couldn’t figure out why. She went from person to person, but they each pushed her away.

  She rolled over, coughing.

  Her eyes slammed open as she gasped for breath, taking in the grey con-plas stone that she had been laying on. Events from the day before came flooding back as she hacked out a large clot of blood and tissue. She leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. Her lungs were sore, but they felt clear. She reached up to her face, it was dry and didn’t sting nearly as much when she touched it.

  It was still early morning, the wan purple light of night was just beginning to clear. Gal had slumped in the middle of the rooftop, and was now dreaming fitfully. Rayne was curled up in a far corner, making herself as small as possible.

  Grant caught her eye and rose up from where he sat. He came to her. “How are you feeling?”

  “We have to find Halud.” The hoarseness of her own voice surprised her.

  He scanned her critically. “Your skin is starting to heal.”

  She nodded.

  “But it still looks terrible.”

  “They were showing video clips of him that were weeks old,” she said — Grant would understand. Normally, Halud taped a new promo every day when he was in the Central City. If they had no newer material, it meant he was either away, or….

  And he didn’t have anywhere to go.

  “I’ll go look for him,” Grant said. “I think you should stay here. Your face, it will draw too much attention.”

  “We have to find him,” she said, her voice coming stronger now that the vocal cords were warming up.

  Grant held a finger to his lips and pointed at Gal. “I will,” he promised her. “You stay here and rest, you need it. I’ll go out and see what I can find.”

  She shook her head. She needed to be out there, finding him. Grant didn’t know him, not like she did. He was her brother. Plus, it was the only way to make up for what she was, everything she had done. It was the only way to show him she wasn’t a monster. Not entirely.

  “I have to —,” she started, but a quiet clang close-by interrupted her.

  Grant crouched, ready to leap into action. If the UECs found them here, could she run?

  She scrambled to her own feet, although the effort was harder than it should have been and left her gasping.

  Luca flipped over the half-wall, followed by Alex.

  Grant relaxed.

  Sarrin realized she hadn’t even counted them missing when she scanned the roof.

  “Hey,” said Alex.

  Grant shushed him and pointed to Gal’s sleeping figure again.

  Alex nodded in understanding and the two crept closer. They each had a large sac tied over their backs, which they deposited in front of them silently. Alex whispered, “I know Gal said to stay here, but I figured we needed food.”

  Luca reached into her bag and pulled out fruits and a loaf of leavened bread.

  Alex opened his bag next, which was not really a bag but a twisted up sheet. Grey fabric flopped out. “We have to go into the city to find Halud, right. It will be easier if we can blend in.”

  Grant held up one of the pieces. It was a long robe, the kind that Halud wore, but less ornate. “Where did you get them?”

  Alex shrugged. “Borrowed.” He glanced at Sarrin. “They’re from a communal laundry. We weren’t seen.”

  But Sarrin didn’t care. She eyed the fabric readily.

  “And…,” Alex threw her a crumpled grey ball, “a worshippers cloak, with a hood.”

  Sarrin set the fruit aside and pulled open the fabric.

  “That looks sore,” said Alex, gesturing to her face. “Ours are almost healed, but we didn’t get it half as bad.”

  She shrugged, the fabric felt light and hopeful in her hands. With it, she could find her brother.

  “We better hurry,” said Luca. “I don’t want that old common to try to stop us.” She pointed at Gal.

  Sarrin pulled the cloak over her head, tugging the hood low to cover her face.

  “Where should we start?” asked Alex, looking at her expectantly.

  She paused — surely they weren’t thinking of coming with her.

  “Hiding the back of your neck.” Grant reached out, wrapping a twisted swatch of grey fabric around Alex’s throat like a scarf.

  Alex grinned. “Oh right. Thanks.”

  Unnaturally blue eyes and barcodes tattooed over their bodies — the only things that would give them away. Sarrin’s neck was covered by her hood, and by her hair after that. But the cloaks couldn’t hide their eyes, not if they wanted to be able to see. It would be too risky.

  “I’ll try to infiltrate the Speakers’ Compound,” she said. “The rest of you stay here.”

  “Sarrin —,” Grant started to argue.

  “He’s my brother. The probability of detection and capture is high, especially with more of us on the ground.” She didn’t add that if they were captured, it would probably be because of her, debilitated as she still was from the mist in the forest. And if they were captured, her only escape would be to trust in the monster, and it was doubtful the rest would escape that. “I won’t ask you to come.”

  “You’re not asking,” said Alex. He had already half slipped over the wall. He gave her a quick grin and disappeared.

  Luca followed and then Grant, leaving Sarrin standing by herself at the parapet. She glanced at Gal, still sleeping in the purple-grey half-light of the pre-dawn morning. Flipping the long hood over her head, she sent Halud a silent apology for turning her back on the captain he had so supported, and stepped over the half wall, descending the jagged handholds far more easily than she had climbed up.

  * * *

  The Augments were gone. Not that Gal was surprised. He’d woken at the crack of day and watched them slip over the roof. He hadn’t even tried to stop them, not with the way he’d acted.

  Rayne still slept as far from him as she could get, curled up uncomfortably tight in the little alcove that must have made her feel a little safer.

  Aaron was nowhere to be seen.

  Gal rose to his feet, stiff in the cold. Sunshine bathed his face, and he turned into it, away from the spot the others had slipped away. This was their fight anyway, they would do what they did. It was out of his hands.

  The grey stone buildings were painted with even greyer paint. The first of Etar’s three suns flashed in the thin space between buildings for just an instant, blinding him. When he turned back, his eyes fell to the symbol painted across a half-dozen buildings, to the circle and the chevrons.

  Gal’s hands had gone g
rey where he gripped the stone wall. Below him, sounds of the folk going about their day rose up. The symbol was painted in a way such that you would never see it unless you looked from just the right way. How many of the folk walked by it and under it every day without knowing it was there? How many had never even thought to look?

  “I can’t believe it’s stood all this time.” Aaron was suddenly beside him, staring out at the clandestine array of buildings.

  Gal only grunted.

  “What does it mean to you? What do you see when you see that symbol now?” Aaron asked.

  He’d seen the symbol burned, slathered in mud, covered in blood. Found it in rubble from bombed buildings, seen it sliced in two by laz-cannons, pulled it off corpses. “Death. Despair. Destruction.”

  Aaron raised an eyebrow. “It used to mean something different.”

  “It’s stupid. Just some lines some kid drew.”

  “The circle was meant for unity, for protection. The chevrons for strength, life. They pointed up to show where we were going, the first over the second to remind us there was always more we could do, always a next step. It was there to remind us to work to be better.”

  Gal sighed, letting his shoulders slump over the ledge. For a minute, he remembered the kid. Long before the Earth was destroyed and the kid with it.

  A noise — a pebble rolling cross the concrete roof — startled him. Rayne was two strides away — close enough to see the lines on the buildings. Hopefully not more, unless she came closer.

  He pushed away from the wall, coming to meet her.

  The bags under her eyes were puffy and dark, her hair loose and lopsided. Beautiful. She crossed her arms across her chest and stared at the ground as she spoke. “Where are the others?”

  Gal gulped. “Slipped out in the night. Fools.”

  “Looking for the Poet,” she surmised.

  “Probably. Nothing we can do for them now. They’ll be caught by sunsdown.”

  She pursed her lips, chancing to look at him for the first time. “The Gods are good, Gal. And we’re good. We just need to have Faith.” She brought her five fingers to her lips, kissing the five Gods, then tapped the fingers against her chest.

  Yes, Faith, and Knowledge, Prudence, Strength, and Fortitude — a surefire way to dig your own grave. “Rayne, please.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been doing this a long time. We’re marked as traitors now. If they see us, it won’t end well.”

  He braced himself for an argument, but she didn’t give him one. Instead she turned and leaned against the wall, looking out. She said simply, “What else are we going to do while we’re here? Sit around and wait for Cordelia?”

  He rubbed his boot into the con-plas roof. “She shouldn’t have dropped us here. There’s nothing we can do. We’re just going to have to wait for her to come back.”

  Rayne frowned. “You don’t know that. We know what the Augments are truly like now. They might not all be dead, but it doesn’t mean we have to have another war. If we’re caught before we can see my father, we’ll just explain it. We can fix this for everyone.”

  She said it so earnestly, he let it strike a spark of hope in him. Just explain it. Fix it for everyone. Simple.

  “Look,” said Rayne, turning to the parapet, her voice filled with awe. Her chin tilted toward the tallest building in the skyline, tall and narrow and covered at the top with a perfect glass dome.

  “The Speakers' Tower.” He stepped between her and the damning circle with two chevrons, afraid she’d see it if she took just a step back and looked to the left.

  “It’s a symbol,” she said. “A pillar for the folk to look to. A place of guidance.” She sighed. “It’s good to see it again. I think it reminds me who I am, my duty to the Gods.”

  “Duty?” he heard himself asking.

  She wrapped an arm across his back, smiling sweetly. “We need to help these people. And help the Augments. And help your friends in the woods.”

  Gal frowned. “I thought….”

  “What did you think?”

  His heart sung, the way she looked at him. He loved her more now than he ever had before. But, he hung his head, reason returning. “I don’t think we can.”

  “Of course we can,” she said, taking his hand and patting it like a small child. “We’ll do it together. You and me.”

  He met her deep brown eyes, let himself be swallowed by them.

  “We just need to explain it to my father. The General can help us.” She took a step toward the wall where they had climbed over the night before, tugging on his hand.

  He let her fingers slip away from his. “Rayne. We can’t.”

  “You don’t know him like I do. I’m sure if he knew — if the Speakers knew the truth — we could stop all of this.”

  He shook his head, an alarm ringing somewhere in his mind behind the love-struck haze. “It doesn’t work that way, Rayne. Please.”

  She frowned, the sweet look sliding off her face, replaced by dark eyes, angry, calculating. The smile slipped back on her features.

  He wanted to melt back into it, almost let himself. He loved her. Loved her even more when she talked about the two of them changing the world, like she might one day understand. He would do anything for her.

  She stepped again toward the half-wall, was only a step away from climbing over.

  “Rayne, you can’t.”

  The false smile slipped away again, this time permanently. “You can’t tell me what to do, Galiant.”

  He pressed his lips together. “You can’t go down there. Your face is as recognizable as mine.”

  “I’m going to see my father.”

  He stepped toward her. “If you go out there, I don’t know what will happen to you. I don’t know anymore what they’re capable of.”

  “Probably a lot more than you think,” her voice scolded him.

  And a lot more than she thought. “Listen to me,” he started.

  “You listen to me,” she shouted. “We need to help these people. We’re doing nothing, holed up here like prisoners.”

  His own anger flared. “We are helping. Can’t you see? I’m just trying to keep everyone alive”

  “No! You had me set a bomb! A bomb, Gal.”

  “You don’t understand!”

  “Yes, I don’t understand. I nearly killed Kieran. Why would you make me do that? I trusted you. Even when no one else would, I did. But you cracked it.”

  He gasped, because it was true. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You can’t trust anyone, Rayne. I want you to see that. Not the Speakers. Not your father. Least of all me.”

  His head turned of its own volition, and he caught sight again of the not-quite-aligned chevrons and circle, feeling it like a physical blow that sent him staggering back.

  Aaron rounded on him. “It’s calling to you. Mocking you.”

  Gal seethed.

  “That symbol is inevitable. It’s part of you, and you will never be free of it until you see it through.”

  Gal pushed him back. “No! We can’t go! Too many people will get hurt. It’s in the past. Leave me alone.” He stumbled as he fell through the empty air.

  Rayne had a leg over the half-wall where she paused, staring at him intently, angrily, shocked. They stared at each other, across the growing chasm between them. Then she started to move again, quickly. She swung the second leg over and made to drop.

  He rushed forward. Before thinking, his hand was on her wrist, the other firmly on her elbow, and he pulled. He tugged her up and over the wall, throwing her across the rooftop.

  His heart pounded in his ears. He blinked at the sight of her, just starting to pick herself up.

  She blinked back. Her face was pale. Afraid. Afraid of him. A trickle of blood started from a cut on her temple. “You are cracked, Gal, just like they said. Cracked, spread, raging mad, and I’m sorry I ever trusted you.”

  "Rayne, I...." What had he done? Even when he was trying to protect people he hurt them.
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br />   And the last thing he could bring himself to care about closed her eyes on him and turned away, forever.

  FIVE

  SARRIN FORCED HERSELF TO WALK calmly despite the overwhelming crowds of people that filled the streets. A nervous person would draw attention. They couldn’t afford that. Instead she bobbed along in the sea of grey.

  Grant caught her eye from the opposite side of the street and made a subtle gesture. He was pointing ahead at a group of workers. They all had a fleck of blue stitched somewhere on their uniforms.

  She had seen a different group with a similar accent, all scholars, flutter by her earlier.

  She shook her head slightly at his question to say she didn’t know either.

  It was strange. It was daring. It reminded her of the Augments and their bare-backed shirts on the Ishash’tor when they thought no one was watching.

  But someone was always watching.

  Her ears picked up on the whirring motors of a surveillance drone and she ducked her head again. She turned into a small cafe, pretending to read the posted menu as the drone passed behind her.

  “Oh my!” she heard a shrill voice exclaim. “Oh, you lucky thing. You are just gorgeous.” A woman, the owner of the voice, was suddenly in her face. She reached her hand up to the hood.

  Sarrin jerked away, pulse ripping in her ears. The woman was going to reveal her. But the words didn’t match.

  “It’s okay,” said the woman. “I had my treatment last month. It totally rejuvenated me. I can see it working on you already.”

  Sarrin’s head swam.

  “It’s important us girls take care of our appearance, what with our limited choice of wardrobe.” The woman was tugging on her own baggy, grey, work outfit, showing it off grimly. “I love what you’ve done with your hair.” Sarrin flinched as the woman grabbed for a rope of hair that was hanging loose from under her hood.