that’s The Keeper, seemed happy with the results.” I walked over to grab the salt off the table.
“I’m sure he was,” Jim commented, pulling me onto his lap.
I struggled to get out of his embrace, not feeling frisky in the least. “Hey, if you want any dinner you’ll have to let me go so I can finish.”
“Don’t play hard to get, Beth. I want tonight to be special.”
Instantly, my guard was up, and I pushed off his lap. He was moving way too fast, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. His eyes burned like lasers into my back as I dished up the simple meal.
I walked over to the table and handed Jim his plate, then sat down at the opposite side of my table wanting a little distance between us.
He stared at me with a glint in his eye. “Beth, you look ravishing tonight.”
I took a huge bite of spaghetti and chewed slowly, buying time. I was unsure how to respond to his aggressive behavior. Jim stared at me a while longer, then shoveled down his plate. After he finished, he pushed the dish away.
“You know, I’m looking forward to the party. I love being hooked up with Phoenix, the most popular female on the board.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it.
I suddenly felt uneasy and took my hand back. That weird vibe Angie talked about seemed to be emanating from him tonight. I wasn’t sure if alcohol was to blame or not, but something wasn’t quite right. “Jim, you said you were tired, and I’m tired, too. How about we call it an early night?”
“Oh no, tonight’s our special night.” He looked me over like I was a piece of feminine meat, raising his eyebrow suggestively.
“Are you crazy? We hardly know each other.”
Jim pushed his chair out and tipped it against the wall leisurely. “Still trying to play hard to get, huh? How many dates before I get what I want, Beth? Tonight’s our seventh, so tell me, how long do you usually wait? It is the eighth? Maybe the tenth?”
I was deeply offended. “There isn’t a set number of dates, Jim. I’m not like that.”
He continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “Let’s pretend this is our tenth date so you don’t have to tease me anymore.”
“I’m not a tease!” I protested. “Trust me, you would know if I wanted to get serious.”
Jim spread his legs and motioned me to him. “Come here and show me then.”
My insides recoiled at the suggestion. I hated being pushed—by anyone. I walked to the door and threw it open. “Please leave.” When it looked like he wasn’t going to move, I barked, “Now!”
Jim sat the chair up slowly, then stood as he laughed at me. “Beth, you are one cold fish…but I like your style. Enjoy the flowers.”
Although he walked out without incident, I locked the door as soon as he’d left. His actions and words made me feel cheap, and I didn’t need that in my life.
I realized there was only one thing to do…
Crash and Burn
The next morning I threw the flowers away, vase and all. I was afraid Jim would not go quietly, but the sooner I ended it the better. I could not reach him on the phone, but I did get a short message on my answering machine while I was out. “Beth, I was an idiot last night. Forget it ever happened. I don’t have time to talk since work’s going to be hell this week, but I need you to know I’m sorry.”
I tried to call him back, but got no answer. I knew his law office had an important case coming up, but was certain he was using it as an excuse to avoid me. I was thankful when I finally reached him on Wednesday.
“Jim, we need to talk.”
“Look Beth, I’m sorry about the other night. You got my message, right?”
“Yeah, but I’m still upset.”
“It was an exhausting day at work, and I had too much to drink before I saw you.”
“I don’t thin—”
“Beth, don’t let my actions Saturday change anything. It was a mistake. I freely admit it. Let’s continue forward like it never happened.”
“But I can’t forget what you said or what you implied.”
“As pretty as you are, you must have guys coming on to you all the time. I would have thought you’d be used to it by now.”
“What I’m used to is being treated with respect.”
Except, that isn’t quite true…the man I was going to marry failed me in that regard.
“I only have the highest respect for you, Phoenix.”
I couldn’t tell if Jim was trying to be cute or disrespectful by using my alias, but before I could comment, he added hastily. “Hey, I’ve got another long night ahead. Expect me around seven on Friday. Talk to you then.” Jim hung up to avoid my objection, but surely he knew he was only postponing the inevitable.
It was obvious that Jim wanted more out of the relationship than I was willing to give. His cold fish comment was demeaning and unkind, but it made me wonder if he was right. If I were totally honest, what I really wanted was Jim as a friend and nothing more. Scott was the man I wanted to get to know better.
With the party only a day away, I realized that I’d better tell Scott about Jim, but I was nervous. He didn’t have the slightest clue about our relationship.
Dear Scott,
I think you should know that Green Lantern and I have been dating for several weeks. I know I should have said something sooner, but Jim (Green Lantern) thought it would be fun to surprise everyone at the party. It seems stupid to me now, and I apologize.
I was looking forward to tomorrow, but now I’m unsure if I will be attending. Whether I’m there or not, I hope your party is a huge success.
Take care.
--Beth
I reluctantly sent the message, wondering how Scott would take the news.
I checked my email early in the morning before work, but he hadn’t written me back. School that day was a chore to get through and it didn’t help when the fire alarm went off soon after lunch. I calmly directed my young students, singing, “Push in your chairs and line up straight. Quiet like a mouse while we wait.”
I smiled and acted as if it were a planned drill so my little ones wouldn’t notice my concern. We quietly walked to our designated spot on the playground and I began calling off names. Everything was going well until the fire trucks and ambulance showed up with sirens blaring. My children twittered in excitement and were impossible to quiet down after that.
Forty-five minutes later, we were given the okay to return to our classroom. I found out from one of the aides that one of the older students had started a small fire in the boy’s bathroom. My students were hyped the rest of the afternoon. It was simply too much excitement for their young minds, and a few of them were scared and needed extra reassurance. By the end of the day, I was worn out emotionally and physically.
When I got home, I was desperate to read Scott’s e-mail even though I feared what he would say. I fidgeted nervously while the two computers connected with their electronic beeps and squeals. The picture of the lighthouse, which usually brought a smile to my lips, only brought a sense of trepidation.
I typed my alias and was puzzled to find there weren’t any e-mails waiting for me. Not knowing what Scott thought was pure torture. Maybe he hadn’t gotten my message. He might not know the truth and would be in for an unpleasant surprise if the two of us showed up. I was too exhausted to deal with any of it.
Avoidance seemed my best option, so I decided not to go to the party or confront Jim.
I left Jim a message to go without me, then pulled out my favorite video tape, An Officer and a Gentleman. Just as Richard Gere was about to sweep Debra Winger off her feet at the factory, my phone rang. I growled under my breath and turned off the VRC to answer it.
Jim immediately apologized, “Sorry, Beth. The meeting ran late.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m getting ready for bed anyway.”
“Then I caught you in the nick of time. I’m coming to get you.”
“I’m not going.”
“You’re not serious, are you? I’ve been
looking forward to this for weeks. You’re going, and that’s all there is to it.”
“Didn’t you get my message? No matter. If you want to go you’ll have to go alone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Beth!” He hung up, leaving me fuming on the other end. Fifteen minutes later, I heard my doorbell. Jim was disgusted when he saw that I was in my sweats. “Get dressed right now. We’re late enough as it is.”
“No.” I was resentful he was forcing me into a confrontation, but I didn’t see a way around it, so I dived right in. “We have to talk.”
“It can wait. We need to get going.” I could tell he wanted to avoid the conversation that I wasn’t anxious to begin myself.
“Sorry, it can’t wait.” I paused, building up my courage. “The fact is you and I don’t feel the same way about each other, and I think it would be best if we were just friends.”
He stared at me in disbelief. “There is no way you could kiss me the way you do and tell me with a straight face that we are just friends.”
“You move way too fast for me, and I’m not comfortable with it.”
“So what I hear is you saying that you’re attracted to me, but I’m pressuring you too much.”
“No, what I’m saying is that we should be friends and nothing more.”
Jim shook his head. “Beth, I don’t buy it. Look, you’ve made your point. You need me to take it slow. Fine, I’ll do that. Let’s go to the party, and I’ll show you I can be a gentleman.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You won’t even give me a chance? Come on, Beth.” Jim’s blue eyes were locked on mine. “Don’t give up on me so fast.
Phoenix Rising (Phoenix of the Heart) Page 6
