And what if for one second she forgot about the accident and its horrible, horrible aftermath? That would be unacceptable because if she didn’t keep it in mind, Kal and Sara weren’t being remembered. This emotional torture was almost as challenging as the physical and mental strain of being around the auras without acting, so preparing the meal had been almost a joke. Every time someone with a red aura came close, Savvy just stood stock still, abandoning whatever task she’d been working on. Boston tensed each time, waiting to see what she would do. When she finally pulled the dish from the oven and plated their meals, they almost ran back to their rooms.
Once in the calmer context, the meal was delicious. Savvy had almost forgotten what fresh food tasted like, and it seemed she wasn’t the only one. Boston tried to hide his smile as he scraped his plate clean, and Savvy took him up on his offer to clean the kitchen.
As the days added up into weeks, Savvy had immersed herself in running. She went to the beach with Boston twice, sometimes three times, a day. And once they’d trotted up to the turnaround point, they’d begun taking a break to talk.
Talking to Boston was really pretty easy, Savvy had realized. He wasn’t worried about her mental health or lack of a soul; he just listened. She told him about Sara and what it felt like to be a mom. She told him about Kal and what it felt like to be loved. She didn’t tell him about the auras, because that seemed like information best kept under wraps. In return, she listened to him. His aura glowed gold as he explained why he was in the mansion, working for Sagan.
“While I was in Iraq, my brother got into some trouble.” Boston’s voice was always calm, but as he spoke about his brother, it had a softness as well. “He’s all I have, and he built up his gambling debts the point that he was hiding when I came back on furlough.” Boston dug his hands into the sand.
“What branch?” Savvy asked.
“Marines. I had to take a dishonorable discharge to stay here and protect him. Crap, I didn’t make nearly enough to cover his debt, but Mr. Sagan had a need for a sharp shooter, so I took the job.” Boston unburied his fists, letting the sand slip through his fingers.
Savvy made two fans in the sand with her sneakers. “Is it really a job? I mean, could you choose to leave it?”
“I’ve got stuff I have to do here, and we’ll just leave it at that.” Boston brushed off his hands and stood. He held a hand out to her.
He pulled a little too hard helping her up, and Savvy stumbled, steadying herself on his chest. He held her just a breath too long. She knew without looking up at him that this wasn’t good.
She spoke to his feet. “I’m still married, in my head. There was no end to that, just so you know.”
Boston released her and began jogging home. She took off after him but couldn’t catch up until she began to feel the house’s evil again. When she did, he spared her a look that held regret and obvious embarrassment.
“Hey, the boss won’t care if your husband is alive or dead. He gets what he wants, just so you know.”
Instead of the relief of a good run, Savvy felt rage curl up inside her like a tight metal coil. But she kept it inside. She needed things not to be weird with Boston for tremendously selfish reasons: she could talk to him about Kal and Sara, and once she’d pushed through the pain, saying their names made them more real. She’d finally realized that. Without the memory rewards after attacking someone, which had gone by the wayside for now, her conversations with Boston were the next best thing.
Despite the lingering awkwardness, he waited with her by the door as usual. They’d developed a system for walking through the maze of tempting assholes. Her body’s surging response to the red auras fogged her vision, and there were times she literally couldn’t see. She could only feel her rage like a heartbeat giving her hate a life of its own. She hadn’t learned names or made any attempts at menial small talk. That would be asking too much. She just kept to herself, as if the others didn’t exist.
Savvy stutter-stepped through the French doors, and Boston put a hand on her arm to help her find her way.
Bugs stopped them both. “I just finished telling everybody else, but you two need to know: the boss is coming to town tomorrow. He wants a welcome-home party.”
Savvy could hardly hear him over the swirling blood in her head, which longed to turn her into the monster she wanted to be.
Boston didn’t even answer Bugs, he just pulled Savvy up the stairs to their wing.
It took a good hour before Savvy could speak and uncurl her fists.
Him. Here.
It was more than she could manage. She shrugged when she made eye contact with Boston. “I can’t stop myself from hurting him.” And she knew what that meant. Tobias would die.
“Well, you’re going to have to, Savvy. It’s that simple.” Boston seemed doubtful himself.
There was a knock on the door, and one of the assholes dropped off a delivery. Boston took the large box and kicked the door shut. Savvy hugged her arms as he pulled a knife from his oh-so-sexy fanny pack and carefully sliced through the tape. He proceeded to open the package as if it was for him. She was grateful he’d learned that she hated to touch anything from Sagan.
He parted the black tissue paper inside the garment box and stepped back so she could see what was inside. A ridiculous silver miniskirt and string bikini top lay next to a pair of silver high heels. Savvy gave Boston a disgusted look.
“All the girls wear this when he comes home,” he explained. “Mr. Sagan likes you to look the same.” He retrieved a jewelry gift box from its spot in the package.
When he held it out to her, she shook her head, so Boston opened it. He bit his lip as he turned toward her. The diamond choker seemed to glow. How many carats, Savvy couldn’t guess. She’d only seen things like that on TV, on the red carpet. The sight of it here, meant for her, made her nauseated.
“He doesn’t give these out, though,” Boston clarified. “You’re the first.” He snapped the box shut when it became obvious she had no intention of trying it on.
“What time?” Savvy covered her mouth after her words escaped. How much time do I have to try to chain up this beast I have inside me?
“He usually arrives around eight or nine. It’ll be a big party with music and tons of guests. Even some of his enemies will be invited. Homecoming nights have always been dangerous. Add you to the mix and…” Boston pushed the paper back over the outfit as if he wished he could make it disappear.
Savvy went into her room to wait. She looked at her wedding ring. The simple band was a part of her hand. Anytime she’d taken it off—to make meatballs or paint a dresser—her hand looked so foreign she wouldn’t have been able to identify it as her own.
This man who was coming, this evil bastard, had something to do with the loss of her family. Somehow she just knew. And he wanted her trussed up like a whore and collared like a dog.
She vowed to lose her ring in the sand on the beach tomorrow during her run. She didn’t want to see her wedding band on her hand when she was forced to touch this man, if she was able to keep from cracking his head like an egg. Which didn’t look too fucking likely.
Chapter 14
Oh My God
The next day, as Savvy stood skipping stones with Boston, she tried to take deep breaths. Chances were, this was her last day on the planet. In between skips, she took off her wedding band and settled it firmly beneath two rocks. It felt like her heart went with it, but with what lay ahead for her, it seemed essential to have it gone. She couldn’t bear having them with her through this night. So, the only tangible connection to her family now rested in an unmarked grave, just like their bodies.
She could feel Boston watching her, but he said nothing—just cleared his throat and skipped another rock.
“I’m going to give you a few pointers about tonight,” he finally said.
Savvy nodded as if it might matter, but she knew he was wasting his words.
“When you enter the room, go straight t
o him. He likes his house women to surround him. I’m going to try to find out where you should stand—if he wants you on his lap or next to him. The house whores will be in different costumes; they’re the only ones allowed to talk to other men at the party.”
Savvy shook her head and bit her tongue. All the things she wanted to say, she didn’t. It wouldn’t matter anyway.
“If things get dangerous, just look for me. I’ll get you to safety, but you’ll have to follow my directions exactly.” Boston looked over, trying to meet her eyes, but she avoided his gaze. “Do you have any questions?”
A flock of seagulls made their noisy arrival and looked hopefully from Savvy to Boston. After they determined there were no snacks coming their way, they waddled off.
“Yeah, I have a question. It’s more of a favor.” She pulled out her ponytail holder, smoothed the hair that had come loose during their run, and replaced the band.
“What do you need?” Boston stopped flinging stones and waited.
“I’m going to attack him. I know you’ve worked really hard with me, but for reasons I can’t explain, the desire to kill him will outweigh all of my reasons to leave him alive. When he’s around? I hear my daughter screaming.” She looked at Boston’s blue eyes now; they seemed so honest, despite the fact that she had to peer through a slight red aura to see them. “Do you have any clue why he’s so different for me?”
Boston shook his head before answering. “I know that his operation had a huge setback when he lost the shipment of a custom chemical compound he’d had made.” He paused. “A truckload of it was destroyed in a crash about a year ago...” He trailed off.
In that instant Savvy felt the impact of the accident again in her head. The truck. Her family. The deaths. Sagan was the reason. If she was the Revenger now, no wonder he was her focus.
“I’m going to murder him,” she said. It was a fact.
“You can’t do that. What about your brother? He’ll be killed. And chances are the boss will make me do it.” Boston punched his own hand.
“If I don’t kill Sagan, my brother is safe, right? That’s the deal?” Savvy hated the look of her naked left hand. I’ll be with you soon, Kal. God, I hope we both end up in the same place.
“Yes, that’s the deal. Simple enough.” Boston seemed restless, like he wanted to run.
Savvy couldn’t look at him as she made her next request, so she focused on the calm little waves pushing up to the sand.
“I need you to kill me. The second I see him, just start shooting. I’m not sure if I’ll be bulletproof or not, so aim for my head and keep firing until I stop moving.” Savvy hated to ask this of him. “Unless you shoot me now—would that be easier? I figure you wouldn’t get in trouble if I’m attacking him, but maybe you could tell them I was planning to do it? Right now you should be able to kill me since we’re so far from the house.”
“You’re seriously asking me to do this?” Boston seemed angry.
She nodded. He looked hurt, and his gold aura now overshadowed the red.
“I can’t live through Tobias being murdered because I’m some sort of freak show. I’m barely here as it is. The only thing that keeps me breathing right now is hate.” Why not be deadly honest with him? “I can’t do my best tonight if I don’t have a contingency plan, some way to keep Tobias in this world.”
Boston looked at the same waves she’d been focused on. “Don’t ask me to shoot you.”
Savvy stepped in front of him so he had to look at her. “I’m not asking; I’m begging. Please. I’ve lost too much already.”
“Let’s just go back. Tallow will be there to help you get ready.” Boston started jogging.
Savvy shook her head. He wouldn’t do it. Tonight, she would rip Silas Sagan to shreds and condemn her own brother to death.
By the time she got back to her room, Tallow—the man tasked with her party-ready look—was frustrated and tapping his watch. She ignored him and went into the shower.
She tried to make a plan in her head. If she could ignore Sara’s screaming—oh God, not again—she should be able to wrestle a gun from one of the assholes and take care of herself. Unless she was immune to a bullet’s wrath, in which case she was screwed, and Tobias was as good as dead. Because the payoff for killing Sagan would be exceptional, impossible for an addict like her to resist. First, Sara wouldn’t scream any more. Second, she would exact revenge for his part in her family’s death, setting things right in some small way, and third, afterward she would get some serious time with Kal and her daughter, and she wanted that more than anything—more than anything except for keeping her brother alive.
She came out of the bathroom in a white, fluffy robe. Boston had dressed in a tuxedo. He locked eyes with her, and while Tallow tittered on about split ends and rough skin, he parted his jacket. Savvy looked at the intimidating weapon he’d holstered and back to his face, her eyebrows rising in hope. He nodded imperceptibly. He would have her back. She could stop trying to plan her own demise.
“Thanks.” She had a lump in her throat, but he turned his back so she could have privacy while Tallow went to work.
The stylist never stopped talking, which made her wonder how he could even be involved in this business at all.
“These rough patches of dry skin on your elbows are unacceptable. Mr. Sagan likes every part of his girls to be kissable.”
After applying his own special recipe of intense moisturizer, he began sectioning her hair and applying a dryer.
“And girl, do you even know what you’re in for tonight? First time with the boss? Did you know he had an electrician come special to his boudoir and put in more outlets for his toys? There’s swings and cuffs and benches. The girls stumble out of there looking like fugitives—hair all crazy, clothes torn off—but they’re always smiling.”
Savvy’s stomach clenched. She wanted to know what was in Sagan’s bedroom about as much as she wanted to eat the pile of hair Tallow had trimmed from her head.
The stylist’s phone beeped, and soon he was in a panic. “He’s coming at seven? He never comes before eight! Well, then you need to send me help; this girl is a hot mess.”
There was very little chatter after the alarming phone call. Savvy looked at the clock. It was only five, but the extra help Tallow had enlisted acted like she was about to disintegrate. When they were finally done, they hung Savvy’s costume from a door, fully expecting her to drop trou in front of all the strangers.
She looked at the silver outfit meant to demean her and classify her as his, just like all his other favorites.
“Yeah, I’m not actually going to be wearing that.” She looked from one shocked person to the other.
Tallow recovered first. “But this is what he told you to wear!”
Savvy laughed hollowly. “Yeah, he can suck his own dick for all I care.”
The atmosphere changed. The others now realized Savvy didn’t think it was a huge honor to be a fuckhole.
“That’s not acceptable. I’ll put you in it myself if I have to, but you’re leaving here in that outfit.” Tallow bravely gathered up the skirt and came into Savvy’s personal space. He obviously thought she was just a regular girl.
In an instant she’d lifted Tallow into the air by his neck. “I’m not fucking wearing it.” She stared him down until he began to turn blue. Then she set him back on his feet.
Tallow was a quick learner and smoothed his fancy shirt. “Okay then, let me see what else we have.”
Boston covered his mouth, but his shaking shoulders gave away his laughter. Savvy winked at him. In the end, they found her a gorgeous black dress—strapless, with a nice slit up the front. She consented to the silver shoes and looked at the results in the mirror as the troupe of stylists left.
Boston stood behind her and looked into the mirror as well. “You look nice.”
She nodded at his reflection. He held up the diamond choker and lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. Savvy nodded and waited. As he wrapped the jewel
ry around her neck, it felt like a pair of iron hands. Hands that immediately began choking her.
Through the floor she felt the vibrations of knowing, feeling, and adrenaline. As Boston secured the clasp, Savvy realized Sagan was in the house.
“He’s here.” Savvy grabbed the necklace to try to breathe, but there was no room. “Please, take it off. Take it off! Take it off!”
Boston undid the clasp and looked at her like she was crazy.
Every nerve in her body was being dipped in acid. Her hands shook as she took the necklace from him and wrapped it around her wrist instead. She would rather be chained at the hand than by the neck. She waited to hear Sara’s screams, to feel the insane, maddening pain in her head, but there was only silence.
“What’s going on?” Boston helped her fasten the diamonds to her wrist.
“He’s here. I know that, but something’s changed.” Savvy looked at Boston again and gasped.
His aura was gone. She touched his chest and felt none of the temperature change she was used to.
“The boss isn’t here. They make an announcement when he arrives.” As soon as the words were out of Boston’s mouth, Savvy’s room filled with Bugs’s voice.
“Please report to the lounge. The guest of honor is here.”
Savvy felt sick and nervous and deadly, but the one thing she didn’t feel was strong… Her strange powers had deserted her almost entirely.
Chapter 15
If She Hated Him
Silas hated that he was early. He liked everything just so when he arrived. Now the caterers he’d hired for the evening would rush through their appetizers, and the bartender was still setting up. Only a few of his girls were at the door to greet him with smiles.
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