by Zara Teleg
Two days ago, I was in a state of bliss. Maggie almost had me believing I could be more than a minion in my club. I was a soldier in the army of the Kings. She was a temptation that led me astray, no matter how pure her intentions were.
I could never see her again. She made me weak. I would forever hold her in my soul, my Magnolia Grace. But I’d never again allow myself the pleasure of her presence. Her beauty was something I couldn’t resist. Her taste was an addiction, and her purity was my downfall.
She was probably praying for me right now, praying to her God or to her angels she was so confident would protect us. Where were these angels? She said they didn’t judge. My father might have been a brutal nonbeliever, but he watched over those he loved. He kept them fed, gave them a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs. Did that not count for anything? If he was God to all, Maggie’s prayers would make him better. I didn’t believe in miracles, but Maggie did.
I wandered the halls. I could not take the waiting any longer. I saw the door marked “Chapel.” I began to walk past it. A nagging feeling stopped me. I reached the second door and stopped in front of it. I looked around, seeing no one. Tugging at the silver handle, I peeked my head into the dimly lit room. Pews lined the center, and a statue of Mary was on the left, and her son Jesus bleeding on the cross on was on the right. Before both of them were trays with red jars filled with candles. I remembered how Maggie lit them. For the first time in my life, I took the longest steps to the front of the room. I looked at the tiny bench with leather-covered pads meant to be knelt on.
I had no idea what I was doing. I closed my eyes and dropped down in front of the Holy Mother. She wore a look of contentment as she gazed upon me. Did she know all the bad things I had done?
I squeezed my eyes shut and wove my fingers together. I only spoke a few words. “If you are there, I need a miracle. I need you to save him. I know he is not perfect and has rejected you, but if you are there, he needs you. And we need him. If you do take him, bring him to heaven, he always meant well.” I stood and walked to the door that pushed open at that very second.
Sissy was hysterical, quivering out the words, “He’s gone.”
Chapter 22
Magnolia
“Maggie, come on, you need to get some sleep. I promise if anyone calls, I’ll wake you.” Catherine was so kind. She and Alcide would be disappointed if they knew that I had hitched a ride to the Cajun Kings compound. I knew it was an irrational thing to do, but I thought I could be there for Vincent. How wrong I was. In a matter of an hour, my heartbreak had gone from bad to devastating.
I made it back to the camp after the storm. Paul and Catherine had the only phone at camp besides the booth. I hoped someone would contact the mission about the boys. They were still part of the mission. They’d call if something happened, wouldn’t they?
Catherine tugged the phone out of my arms. I had fallen asleep holding it. I didn’t know how long it had been. I waited and waited to hear something, anything. I rubbed my neck, accepting the water that Catherine held out. My throat was sandpaper from crying.
“I made up the sofa for you. Please lie down and get some rest. Then, later today, I’ll help you get packed. Your family will be arriving at four.”
“What time is it?” I looked around for a clock.
“It’s 7 a.m. I’ll keep Ana quiet, just please get some rest. I can’t send you home like this.”
“Fine, just for a little while,” I agreed, settling in on the inviting white sheets and fluffy pillow on the sofa.
Alcide had promised if no one called today, he would go there and get answers. After hearing those words from Vincent, I could not bear to face him, but I also needed to know they were all okay. I guessed I could never really understand the relationship he had with his father.
It was my last chance to say goodbye to Vincent, even if I couldn’t see him. He broke my heart, but I still felt the need to say goodbye; we couldn’t end this way. When I heard Catherine leave the cabin, I left her a note that said I went for a walk and I’d be back by lunch. I waited at the edge of the campground for the taxi I had called.
I hoped I remembered the way.
“Turn here, please.”
“Down here? It looks abandoned,” he said, watching me through the rearview mirror.
“Yes. It’s right down there.” I pointed to the narrow driveway that led to the path.
“I will be back soon. I have to walk down the path to the cabin. I won’t be very long.”
“I can—” he began to offer.
“No. I’ll be fine.”
Memories of following Vincent down the path pained my heart. When I reached the clearing, I stepped on the porch. Vincent had a key under the carved owl. I felt under it until the tip of my finger felt the metal.
Opening the door, I entered the dusty fishing cabin. A small table sat in front of the window with a chessboard on top. I walked over, placing my purse on it as I dug inside, taking out the Blessed Mother he had given me, along with a letter that contained everything I wanted to say to him. I might have been angry at how he treated me, but I poured my heart and soul onto the page. I left them on the table and hoped someday he would come here and find them and remember how in love we were, recall the passionate way he made love to me here. Vincent threw it all away in a moment. He broke my heart. But a piece of me knew he still loved me.
I made it back before anyone even knew I was gone. I packed my bags and still waited for Alcide to call.
Ring. Ring.
I shot up, running for the phone, tripping over one of Anabelle’s toys before slamming my hand on the receiver.
“Hello?”
Catherine appeared in the doorway.
“Catherine?” a man asked.
“No, this is Magnolia.”
“Is Catherine there?”
“Yes, sir, hold on,please.”
To my disappointment, the day turned to afternoon without any calls, and before I knew it, I was packing my things and saying goodbye to Shannon. Catherine wasn’t feeling well after breakfast. I told her to lie down while I prepared to go home.
“I can’t believe we are saying goodbye.” Shannon rolled up the poster she had taken off the wall. Jumping off her bunk, she squeezed me. “This was the best summer ever.” She smiled so big all her braces were visible.
“I’m sorry, I was so distracted the past few weeks. I really did have the best summer with you.” I hugged her even harder.
“Oh, please. If I had a guy as hot as Vincent wanting to spend time with me, I would’ve ditched you too.” She laughed.
“Here’s all my info, home and college. I want you to visit me this semester.”
“Oh, I’ll be there. Maybe I will meet some future doctor.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
I pushed down on my suitcase, forcing it closed before putting it by the door with the others. The small window drew my eyes to Vincent’s cabin. Visions of kissing him on the porch made my stomach twist. I still hadn’t heard a word from anyone.
Three knocks tapped at the door.
Paul was smiling when I opened it. “Maggie, time to go. Marie Rose is here. She’s going to wait with you for your ride. Catherine’s still not feeling well. I’m going to take her to see Doc.”
Saying goodbye to Paul, Catherine, and little Anabelle was hard. Paul and Catherine were like the parents I wish I had.
Marie Rose filled glasses with ice, an orange slice, and a fresh spring of mint before she poured her sweet tea in them. Handing me a tea, she studied my face.
“Now, Maggie, you know you can tell Meme anything, right? What’s bothering you, chère?” Her eyes were sincere as she covered my hand with hers.
I broke down in seconds. “I have been through a lot the past few days. I’m afraid Vincent and I…are over.” I could feel my eyes stinging. “And I will never get to say goodbye.” My eyelids closed as hot liquid trickled down over my cheeks. “My nerves have been so bad. I haven’t even be
en able to keep my breakfast down in days.”
“This doesn’t seem like you. And you’re pale as a ghost.” She observed me, her hand coming to my forehead. “You said you haven’t been keeping your breakfast down? Hunny, how long has it been?” Her eyes moved over me.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Chère.” She placed her hand over mine. “Are you sure you are not pregnant?” Her voice sounded accusatory.
“What? No. I can’t be.” I was taken aback by the mere thought.
“Are you positive?” She studied me intently.
“I don’t think, I mean, my period was…”
Knock, knock.
“Maggie, your ride is here,” a voice called into the room.
Our conversation wouldn’t continue, but I gave Marie Rose the biggest goodbye hug.
“Chère, you need anything at all, you call me.” She handed me a slip of paper. “Good luck at school. I know you will make a wonderful doctor someday. I do hope I see you again.”
Should it have surprised me at all that my parents sent a paid driver to pick me up? Not even Frederick. The hours getting to Atlanta were endless torture. With no one to talk to about all my feelings, I thought I was going crazy. I felt carsick the entire ride. I even had the driver pull over to a rest stop once to throw up.
The gates to my home opened and reality set in. I would never see Vincent again. I had just three days home before I’d move into my dorm, yet the only ones who greeted me were Viola and Frederick. My parents had extended their vacation and would be home tomorrow morning.
“What’s wrong, chica?” Viola was helping me fold my clothes and get everything ready for repacking.
“You haven’t seemed yourself since you came home. I was hoping to hear all about your great adventure.”
Looking into Viola’s caramel eyes, I found myself desperate to tell her about Vincent. If I told her, I’d make her swear secrecy.
“Chica, if you ask me, I’d say you look lovesick.” She smiled as she folded the clean pile of whites while I did the darks.
“If I tell you, promise you won’t tell anyone. My parents would flip.”
Viola moved to the edge of my bed, sitting down and holding my hands in hers. “I promise, now tell me everything.”
“His name is Vincent, and he has the dreamiest violet eyes and the cutest smile, and he was the coolest boy at camp.”
I couldn’t help but grin when I relived the happy memories of our days under the tree. I went on and on about our dates but also left out a lot of details, like about his family and the way we left things. She didn’t need to know that much.
Viola hugged me before placing her hands on my face. “I’m so happy for you to have found a boy who made you feel special. Maybe he’ll visit you at school.” She winked, nudging my shoulder.
“I hope so,” I lied, knowing that would never happen. Once she left the room, it didn’t take long for me to break down again. My fingers curled around the only piece of him I had. The silver medallion warmed in my hand, almost like it was a talisman that could send my love to him. I held my pink bunny as I curled up on the bed and studied the strip of photo booth pictures. How did things go wrong in such a short time?
The morning before I left for school, I couldn’t take not knowing what had happened. I had to reach out to Alcide before he left for his next mission.
“Hello.”
“Um… Hi, Alcide, it’s Maggie Grace.”
“Maggie, I’m glad you’re home safe. I’m sorry I didn’t get to give you a proper goodbye. Everyone at the mission already misses you. Although probably not as much I do. The last week has been a mess in the tent trying to run the place without you.”
“Thanks, Alcide. I appreciate you saying that.” I breathed a heavy sigh. “I’m sure you know why I’m calling.” I twirled the wire around my finger as I waited for the answer. He was quiet, letting out a long breath before he spoke.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, Maggie. But Vincent’s father, well, he didn’t make it.”
A numbness came over me, and I fell to my knees. I couldn’t imagine what Vincent and his family must be going through.
“The funeral was this morning. Maggie, I am truly sorry.”
My breaths began to quicken as dizziness took over.
“Um, thank you, Alcide. I-I have to go.” I wasn’t able to hang up the phone before stumbling into the bathroom, grasping the toilet bowl, and heaving up this morning’s toast.
I was shaking and couldn’t catch my breath. I wished I could be there for Vincent. I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. But he was. He was now an orphan. Sure, he had his MC family, but that was not quite the same. I’d do anything to feel his arms around me again. To have his lips on my forehead, making me feel like the most important girl in the world.
I wanted to drop everything and go to him. I was willing to betray the oath I made when I asked God to protect him. I didn’t know heartbreak could hurt so bad. The term was no coincidence—my heart did actually ache. I felt like I walked around with permeant nausea and a headache. I just wanted to see him again, clear the air, let him know I was thinking of him and his family. But how could I? He blamed me. They all did. I was his distraction, his temptation, the Eve who got Adam banished from God’s kingdom.
Dinner that night was mind-numbingly dull. My parents mostly talked about all the valuable connections they made over the summer and gossiped about people from the country club. I sat like a perfect cardboard cutout among the fancy table decor. I was so ready to go to school to be far away from this phony existence. Now that I had experienced what two people in love was like, it became painfully obvious that my parents had never been in love.
“Dear, are you all packed up?” My mother finally acknowledged I was sitting there.
“Yes.” I kept my answers short, not wanting to engage in any of their petty conversations.
After taking a call, my father finally asked about my summer away.
“So how was the ol’ bayou? Not as glamorous as the pools at the club.” He smirked and winked like he had made some great observation. “I bet you’re glad to be back to civilization.” He took a sip of his wine. Mother seemed disinterested.
“Actually, I really loved it. Other than the gators and mosquitos the size of birds, I was quite fond of the bayou and sad to go. I made some real friends and helped the doctor all summer. I found the swamps to be small pieces of paradise.”
I thought he was going to spit out his wine. “You were in the swamps? I thought you were volunteering at a housing community.”
“I was, but it wasn’t prison, Daddy. I explored the area.” Emboldened by his apparent dislike, I pushed. “I even swam in the river and attended a carnival where I went on rides and ate all the junk I wanted.” That got my mother’s attention.
“Carnival?” she seethed. “Magnolia Grace, you sullied your reputation running around at a carnival?”
“Yep.” I sliced through my chicken, enjoying provoking my mother. “I wore makeup, went dancing, and met a boy. He was nothing like the stuck-up rich boys around here. He was real, and he showed me what life could be like in a normal family,” I emphasized.
“By normal, you mean poor?” My mother huffed, squinting daggers in my direction. She swirled the liquid around the ice in her glass as the brandy rose to the edges, then slammed it down on the table. My father’s eyes climbed up from the paper he was reading.
“I will be calling the Sisters of St. Bernadette and let them know what kind of place they are letting their girls sign up to. We pay thousands of dollars tuition so you can go slumming? I think not.” She pointed her manicured nail at me. “Magnolia Grace, I am disappointed in you. I expected you to make better choices.”
I stood up, pushing away from the table. “I made lots of choices you would not approve of, and I don’t regret any of them,” I yelled, running from the table to my room in tears.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Lea
ving home would be easy this time. My mother was so angry about my outburst, she didn’t even say goodbye.
Venom
“He’s gone.” Sissy’s words would haunt me forever.
For three days, men, women, and children from all our club chapters arrived to pay their respects—even other clubs allied with Voodoo showed up. Getting ready for the funeral was painfully difficult. My brothers were not speaking to me; they blamed me. And if it wasn’t for us having so many people in town, a war would have been underway, but instead, the Devil’s Damned lay low. No one had seen them since that fateful night, and many were looking.
I stood in the mirror, slipping on my jacket that displayed my Cajun Kings member patches. I tied the black bandana on my head, tightening it. My boots felt impossibly heavy as I trudged down the steps and out the door to ride alongside the casket that would take my father to his final resting place. He would receive the honor that a respected club president deserved. Dark glasses hid my eyes as I climbed on my bike, waiting for the procession to begin.
Sienna had been an utter mess for the past few days. She and Sissy wore black dresses, holding each other as they climbed into the limo. I felt a void, lost in my own grief. I had no words of comfort for them.
A line of bikes filed one after another in sync as they moved like soldiers. We parked at the cemetery, creating a circle around the gravesite. I was shocked to see Paw-paw standing at the back. He was dressed in his Sunday best, his long hair slicked into a tight ponytail. Sunglasses kept me from making eye contact. His hand grasped a handkerchief. He held his head high as each person took a moment to say something about the exemplary leader my father had been.
I was handling it. I thought I could make it through the day without crumbling into a pathetic mess. Then, after the final words had been spoken, roses were placed on the casket. Each person dropped one along with tears for years of loyalty. As the casket began its descent, a woman began to sing. When “Amazing Grace” sweetly floated from her lips, my heart bled. The melancholy in her tone tore me to pieces. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get out of here. The haunting lyrics reminded me that I had lost more than my father that day. True to her name, Magnolia was a beautiful blossom that only lasted a brief time before it disappeared, taking all its beauty and leaving just a fleeting memory. She was gone from my life forever.
