I took a breath. Why did everything have to be so freaking hard? I’d never been a whiner, and I’d always had that kind of attitude that it was a waste of breath to complain about your life when you could use the same breath to change your life, instead.
But what the hell could I change now? Every time I thought I was doing the right thing, situations would morph and slap me in the face.
We kept walking through what seemed like an endless hallway. More and more torches would light as we walked into the impenetrable darkness, and more and more air rushed past us. So did heat. I gave a shiver as my teeth started to clatter.
“It’s the Hidden Grimoires,” Hayden explained, his voice low and clipped. He had that same lecturing voice he’d used before. And even though I kind of hated the guy now, I still respected that he was about to divulge some truth to me. “In order for the books to protect themselves, they create magic absorbing fields around themselves.”
“So why are they absorbing the air and heat, too?”
“Think of it kind of like a gravity well. It sucks up everything around it – anything with power.”
“I don’t really understand,” I began. Then I stopped abruptly. Now was not the time for a lecture. Could I even really trust what Hayden was telling me?
Sure, it was obvious he felt guilty for what he’d done, but it was just as obvious that he was currently using me. Again.
Maybe Hayden could predict what I was thinking. He looked at me, opened his mouth, and pressed it closed.
“How much longer is this going to take?” Smythe spat.
“Not much longer. It’s getting colder,” Hayden said as he brought his hands up and ran them down his arms, “which means we’re close.”
“So shouldn’t I take the lead? You said yourself you wouldn’t be able to see them,” Smythe pointed out.
“You’re not a finder though, are you? We’ll leave that up to the expert.”
My back straightened. So Hayden wanted me to use my magic again, ha? Made sense. Why not make me as weak as possible, ha? That way when he handed me over to Jeopardy, I wouldn’t have any defenses at all.
That negative thought sank through me, but it couldn’t really poison me that much. Because somewhere deep within my heart, I still got the impression that Hayden wasn’t that bad. Okay – definitely a complicated guy. He’d definitely broken his fair share of laws, too. I just… I got the impression that all Hayden had ever needed was an opportunity to turn good.
I think I’d already told you that I didn’t necessarily believe in good people and bad people – I believed more in circumstances. If you’re born into a bad life, chances are, you will become a bad person, and it takes somebody of extraordinary resolve not to give in to the negative situations around them. Likewise, if you’re born into a good life, it doesn’t take much effort at all to become good. If you have never had anything taken away from you, never faced systematic abuse, and have always had opportunities, then yeah, it’s pretty easy to see the sunny side of life.
I got that impression again now. All Hayden needed was an opportunity to shine. An opportunity to do the right thing.
Hey, maybe I was that opportunity. But in case that wouldn’t work, I had to search for my own opportunity. Unconsciously, without me even being aware of it, I still had a hand around Max’s phone.
“We’re getting much closer,” Hayden said as his teeth chattered in his skull.
Smythe must be feeling the effects of the heat loss, too, because he didn’t even bother to snarl. I saw him as I tilted my head to the side, and his beefy arms collapsed around himself.
It was so freezing, it was a surprise I didn’t see icicles appear along his hard eyebrows.
We hadn’t reached the back wall or anything, and I didn’t know if we ever could. I imagined this room had been spelled with exactly the same infinity spell the tunnels beyond were under. It would go on as long as we wanted to walk it. But something obviously alerted Hayden to the fact we were close to the Hidden Grimoires. “We’re really close. Beth,” he turned to me. “Somewhere here is the key to finding the books.”
I looked at him. I had every right to simply shrug and tell him to piss off. Firstly, there was no way I wanted to find these books for Jeopardy. Though Hayden had probably lied a lot to me – I don’t think he’d lied to me about Jeopardy. Jeopardy had the ability to take real-life memories of objects, allowing him to step inside those memories and re-create them perfectly. If we gave him another set of Hidden Grimoires, he could become unstoppable.
“You don’t have any choice,” Smythe said, obviously reading my mind. “I might be cold, but—”
“Before you threaten to punch her, don’t. Beth is aware she’s out of options. And she knows she needs to do this,” Hayden added.
Was there a strange waver in his tone?
Almost… almost as if he was trying to communicate something to me?
I looked up at him. I… had I read the situation wrong again? Was Hayden somehow still on my side?
I didn’t have time to wonder about that – Smythe took another solid step toward me and weighed a heavy hand on my shoulder.
“Give her time—” Hayden began.
“You think we’ve got time?” Smythe suddenly kicked me harshly in the back of the knees, and I fell forward with a thump, a gasp splitting from my lips.
“Hey,” Hayden blurted.
“You’ve done your bit, scholar – this is my bit. Now find the books,” Smythe said as he brought his head forward and screamed in my ear.
I jerked to the side, his voice echoing through the room. I swear the flame lamps reacted to it as their light surged.
“You don’t have to—” Hayden began.
“Shut up. You still want to bargain for your precious girlfriend – then shut up. Find the damn books,” Smythe screamed at me once more.
I pressed my lips together.
And I started looking. At least, I gave him the impression I started looking. There was no goddamn way I was going to give Smythe a set of Hidden Grimoires. Just as there was no goddamn way I was going to use my finder magic to potentially destroy Madison City.
Seconds passed into minutes, and all the while Smythe got angrier. “Why isn’t it working?” he spat.
“Because she’s tired – she just needs time,” Hayden said. “We made her use the majority of her finding magic before she got here.”
“Tired, hey? I’ve got something for that.” Smythe shoved a hand into his pocket.
I think I knew what he was doing before he grabbed a pillbox out.
Terror slammed into me, climbing up my back, sinking into my throat, and feeling as if someone was about to throttle me.
“What are you doing?” Fear bolted through Hayden’s voice.
“Precisely what the Cruze Gang are famous for. If the little miss finder here is tired, I’ve got a pick-me-up.”
“Wait – you can’t do that—” Hayden’s voice shook.
Before I knew what was happening, Smythe wrapped an arm around my throat and hauled me back. I heard the ominous shake of several pills in the box, and he flicked it open with one hand. Out of the corner of my eye as the flame torches continued to dance, I picked up the unmistakable blue of a D 20 pill.
“Hey.” Hayden threw himself forward, but he was too late. Smythe crammed a pill into my mouth, put me in a headlock, and forced me to swallow.
Hayden tried to wrap an arm around Smythe to pull him back, but he didn’t have a chance – and all Smythe needed to do was pivot on his foot, and Hayden was thrown back.
Hayden slammed into the ground and stared at me in terror.
Something started to happen in my head. Explosions, to be precise. They were going off inside my skull as if an artillery unit had decided to wage war on my brain.
I started to shake as I saw stars exploding behind my vision.
“You idiot,” Hayden spat, his voice shaking. “You’ve got no idea what that will do to a complete
finder—”
“But I know exactly what Jeopardy will do to me if I fail to bring him those books in time. Now,” Smythe actually kicked me with the base of his boot, “are you ready to find me some Hidden Grimoires yet?”
My head didn’t work. It was full of holes – full of holes. I felt like everything I was – all the memories and beliefs that made me up – started to spill through those holes, gushing away like arterial blood after somebody had sliced my throat.
I shook, sweat glistening on my brow and chasing down my back, covering my shoulders and slicking across my stomach.
Horror filled my body, aching through my muscles, making it feel as if I was being forced to run for my life. And I was – but there was no way I could get away from the drug pulsing through my veins.
I started to convulse back and forth.
“You goddamn idiot,” Hayden spat.
“Some witches go through that the first time. She’ll be all right in a minute,” Smythe said with exactly the kind of unhurried tone that told everyone he didn’t care at all.
I was not all right in a minute. Those holes kept forming in my mind, and those stars kept exploding behind my eyes.
It felt… God, it felt like I was suddenly finding every single thing in the world. That brief explanation Hayden had given me echoed in my frigging skull. As a finder, I was connected to things through connection fields. Well, right now, it felt as if those connection fields extended, pushing out until I was one with all matter. And yeah, I shouldn’t have to tell you that the human brain isn’t designed to experience that.
Blood started to trickle from my nose.
“God – we have to get her to help—” Hayden said.
“She’ll be fine,” Smythe said with the kind of tone that told anyone he wouldn’t accept another complaint about this.
I could find… anything. Everything. Everything.
From any object to any fact – it was like all reality itself was spread out in front of me, and all I had to do was pick what I wanted.
I twitched again, and my hand brushed past my pocket.
Max’s phone.
Before I knew what my fingers were doing, they closed around it, snatching hold of the metal so tightly, I could easily have cracked it.
“We have to do something—” Hayden began.
“Enough,” Smythe roared.
Max. I just… Max. I filled my head with him. Every space, every thought. Every memory. All rushing through me now. Growing and growing until I felt as if he was right in front of me.
“Wait – what the hell is that?” Smythe suddenly snapped. “I thought you said magic couldn’t be produced in this room?”
“It can’t be.”
“Then why the hell does it look as if there’s a portal opening up?” Smythe erupted.
“Only a sorcerer—” Hayden began.
It wasn’t Max, was it?
Just at the last moment, when I swore I could shift forward and grab hold of the image of Max forming in my mind, it morphed. His face, his body, the feel of him – it was like they lurched to the side. And the next thing I knew, the memory of Jason filled me instead.
“Goddammit,” Smythe roared.
I could only open half an eye, but that was enough to see somebody appearing through the floor.
Jason.
I reached a hand out to him.
Jason’s shoes clicked on the floor as the portal spell deposited him in place.
He stared right at Smythe.
Smythe doubled forward, grunting as he got ready to ram his shoulder into Jason.
Jason took a swift, agile step to the side, easily dodging Smythe.
Smythe bellowed in rage, pivoted on his shoes as the sound of his rubber soles squeaked through the air, and threw himself forward once more.
Jason rounded a hand into a fist, and magic exploded over it.
“No,” I warned him through a choked breath.
It didn’t seem to matter – magic erupted over Jason’s hand, and it didn’t affect him. The room didn’t suddenly start to eat through his magic – if anything, his magic leaped up even brighter.
He slammed his electrified fist into Smythe’s jaw, and there was nothing Smythe could do.
He was thrown back, and his body thumped against the floor with an echoing crack.
“What…?” I managed. I could barely move my tongue and lips. I felt as if somebody had beaten me with bats.
Though it still felt as if all objects and facts in reality were aligned in front of me, the only thing that truly mattered was Jason.
He turned to me, got down on one knee, and brought his face close.
Compassion spread through his expression – and it was genuine.
I knew it was genuine – because I swore I could see his heart, his mind, his spirit – you name it. Nothing was hidden from me right now.
“You goddamn bastards,” Jason said as he brought a hand forward and wiped my sweat-caked fringe from my face. “You power greedy bastards.” With that, Jason shoved a hand into his pocket, pulled out a syringe, and administered something to my neck.
I didn’t need to push my memory back to the incident at the stadium to recognize the drug. All I needed to do was ask the question of what it was in my mind, and the fact of it slammed into my head with full certainty.
It was the antidote to D 20.
I felt it coursing through my veins, and though it took several seconds to start working, soon enough, a dull sense of relief began to push through me.
It wasn’t enough that I could push through my confusion and stand, but I didn’t have to. Jason had this one.
Jason stood, turned, and faced Hayden.
Hayden paled, swallowed, and took a step back. “You’d be the sorcerer from Internal Affairs, then?”
“And you would be Hayden Sinclair. You made a deal with Jeopardy for my fiancée.”
“Beth’s your fiancée?” Hayden asked with surprise. “She didn’t mention—”
“Technically I haven’t proposed yet. But with destiny on my side, I guess I’ll have to soon. Now.” Jason took a step toward Hayden.
Hayden brought his hands up. “I didn’t—”
“What? Force her to have D 20? You know, I had picked you as a good man who’d fallen into a bad situation. I’d even been prepared to offer you an informant role for Internal Affairs. Not now,” Jason said with a blast of a breath. “Not ever.”
… Jason had already realized that Hayden was a good man? I wanted to push that fact away, but I couldn’t. I was still coming down from the D 20, but enough of it was coursing through my veins that I couldn’t lie to myself.
Sure, Jason often looked like he was a faker – but how much of that was an act?
I had a vested interest in making negative assumptions about Jason, but how much of that was an act, too?
That last fact struck me, and it struck me hard. Ever since I’d met Jason and I’d learned about the prophecy, I’d been putting up a wall between us, deliberately looking for every negative fact I could about the man to cloud my vision. But here’s the thing – I was a finder, and I could find whatever I was looking for. If I looked for the negative, I found it. And if I looked for the positive?
With the remnants of D 20 still pumping through my veins, I started to look for the good.
“Look, I didn’t give her the D 20 – Smythe did. I tried to stop him. I honestly did—” Hayden began.
“You lured her down here,” Jason said through clenched teeth.
“I was after Max. I didn’t expect her to have his phone—”
Jason snorted. “But when you found her, you saw an opportunity,” Hayden’s lips shifted hard around that word, “and you took it. Do you expect me to offer you any sympathy? Would you offer yourself any sympathy?” It was an odd question, and the way Jason asked it was even odder.
Hayden closed his eyes and twisted his head to the side, then he peered at Jason. “You’re using emotion reading on
me, aren’t you? You’re trying to figure out my character, aren’t you?”
Jason laughed. There was no mirth in the move at all. “You’re smart for a human. Yes, I’m using emotion reading on you.”
“… You are giving me another chance, aren’t you? Even after what I did to your girlfriend,” Hayden said, surprise infiltrating his tone. Surprise, and hope.
“Not technically my girlfriend yet,” Jason corrected.
“But you said—”
“It’s complicated. Now answer the damn question. Would you offer yourself any sympathy? Do you think you’re worthwhile, Hayden Sinclair? Do you think there’s anything good left inside you?” With every question Jason asked, his voice arced up all the louder until it felt as if it would burst through the room like a bomb.
Hayden stilled. Even from my position crumpled on the ground, I could see his expression, and it was a complicated one. He scrunched his lips in, half closed his eyes, and turned his head to the ground.
“Answer the damn question,” Jason snapped once more. “You see, you’re running out of time. I really need to find those books, get them out of here, then go save Madison City.”
“You think you’ve got a chance against Jeopardy?” Hayden said, and that weight was back to his shoulders. The same weight that seemed as if it’d been crushing him his entire life.
“I’m an opportunity finder – though technically I’m still learning that one. So I’ll find a way. And unlike you, I’m not going to allow myself to be defeated until I’m actually defeated.”
Hayden let out the bitterest of laughs. “You’re gonna compare yourself to me, sorcerer? I don’t have any magic – I never have. You think it was easy to scrounge all these years to protect my brother and girlfriend?” Anger started to vibrate through his voice.
I didn’t need to be an emotion reader to understand what was going on with Hayden right now. All the years of pressure were finally catching up with him.
Jason didn’t react to Hayden’s anger. He didn’t have to. Because Hayden was right. And that was the point. He was only a human – and he’d had to scrounge as much power as he could over his life to face up to magical bullies just like Jason.
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