Even if the choices weren’t the ones he wanted her to make.
There was only one way she could thank him although she knew he wouldn’t acknowledge it. One way that might remind him that she wanted everything as beautiful for him as this violin was to her.
She slowly took out the violin and tucked it under her chin.
She started to play the Tchaikovsky.
LOCH GAELKAR
FIVE DAYS LATER
The mist was heavier than ever this morning, Jane thought, as she looked out at the north end of the lake. It was as if Cira had drawn all her misty robes around her as if in defiance of the work being done on the lights illuminating the shore.
What a thought, she thought ruefully as she jammed her hands into the pockets of her jacket and strode into the mist. She had been trying to ignore those vibes since Caleb had mentioned her less-than-objective attitude toward this hunt for Cira’s treasure. But why should she? she thought with sudden defiance. It was more her hunt than anyone else’s except MacDuff. Maybe more than MacDuff, too. After all, he hadn’t been dreaming about Cira since he was seventeen. It didn’t hurt anything to let herself drift along and let the possibilities …
“I was wondering when you’d be along.” Caleb had suddenly appeared ahead of her out of the mist. “You resisted longer than I thought you would today.” He came toward her. “I thought I might have to come and get you.”
She stiffened. “Why would you do that? Did something happen? Have you found something?”
He tilted his head. “Do I detect a hint of disappointment?” He smiled. “Is it because you didn’t find it yourself?”
“Did you find something?” she repeated.
He shook his head. “Just the opposite. This mist is so thick today that MacDuff said early this morning that we’d scrap the work and hope for a better day tomorrow.” He made a face. “With appropriate obscene oaths to accompany the sentiment.”
“But you couldn’t resist dangling the possibility in front of me,” Jane said dryly. “If you’re not going to try to help put up those lights today, why are you still here?”
“Why do you think? We both know that helping MacDuff isn’t high on my agenda. I’m all for seizing opportunities when they occur.” He smiled recklessly. “And, since you’ve been cautiously avoiding giving me any opportunities, I decided Cira must be doing it for you.”
She instinctively braced herself. There was something very different about him today. Caleb was always an enigma, but the recklessness she was seeing at this moment was white-hot and casting out an emotional wave that put her on her guard. “Cira? Only you would think that Cira would bother to make anything easy for you. Cira always thought everyone should take care of themselves.”
“Like you do.” He nodded. “According to my research, you’re a good deal like Cira. Except maybe where the people you love are concerned. Then you’re willing to use whomever you have to use to protect them. Was Cira like that, too, Jane?”
“Perhaps. Why are we standing here talking about Cira?”
“Because I’ve been thinking a good deal about her lately. I haven’t had much else to do in the past few days. You’ve been avoiding me and, as you know, that has an unsettling effect on me. I have a tendency to be a trifle undisciplined if I become restless.” He held up his hand as she opened her lips to speak. “So I decided that I had to take care of it before it came to that point.”
“Take care of it?” she repeated warily.
“You see, I’ve been so disgustingly noble and cooperative since I’ve been involved with all the people who are surrounding you that it’s been a constant trial to me.” He took a step closer to her. “And how close have we come during that time, Jane? Did I force you? Did I do anything but make you admit that you wanted it as much as I do? I was more patient than you can imagine. You have no idea how angry I get when I see you letting a dead man stand between us. Trevor wouldn’t have wanted you to do it. We both know that.” His lips twisted. “And now I think you’re using it as an excuse because you’re still afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you. You flatter yourself, Caleb.”
“Then are you afraid of what we’d be together?” He moved another step, his dark eyes glittering in his taut face. “Oh, yes, that could be it. It could be … exceptional. I’ve always known it…”
And so had she, Jane realized. Even now, when she was feeling this wary and uncertain, she could still sense the sheer magnetism that was sparking between them. “Sex is sex. Okay, the chemistry is there. But I don’t want to be involved with someone who doesn’t really care anything about me.”
“How do you know I don’t care anything about you?” he said with sudden fierceness. “With what you know about me, would you believe me if I said that my emotions are pure as the driven snow?” He shook his head. “And I wouldn’t leave myself that open to you. You’ll have to take the sex and the fact that I have a major obsession for you.”
“I don’t have to take anything I don’t want to take.”
“But that’s why I’m here, to make sure that you want to take me.”
She inhaled sharply. “Just why are you here, Caleb?”
“Waiting for you.” He smiled recklessly. “I think you know. From the moment you saw me today, you knew that I’d decided, we had to move a step forward. It’s not often I get the opportunity to get you alone in a place where you’re so vulnerable.”
“Vulnerable?”
“Yes, that’s the right word. When you’re out there in the camp, you’re surrounded by everyone who loves you and wants the very best for you. Here, you’re on your own and have to deal with me, a man who only wants the very best for myself. Or so you think.” He took a step closer. “But who has no objection to sharing the wealth.”
She took a step back. “What are you doing, Caleb? You’re … different.”
“No, I’m only reacting to the effects of severe restraint. You’ll recall I don’t behave well under those circumstances. I don’t believe you’ve even noticed the signs that should have been very obvious.” He sighed. “I’ve been too good, Jane. I decided I had to take a little, or I might take too much.”
She stopped and stared at him. “Are you threatening me?”
“God, no. I’m just trying to strike a balance that will let me continue with this charade without doing something you’d consider unforgivable. In which case, I’d have to work twice as hard to make it at least palatable.”
“You’re not making sense.” She moistened her lips. “I think it’s time I went back to camp.”
“I’m making perfect sense for me.” He took a step closer, and his hand reached out to cup her throat. “It’s been too long, Jane. I’ve played the game. I’ve done everything that you’d want me to do and more. I knew it was going to be a long road, but I need something to keep me steady.”
Her pulse was pounding beneath his hand. She could smell the scent of him, his eyes … Her body was readying, tensing. She had to force herself not to move toward him. “I can’t help what you need. You can’t dictate to me, Caleb.”
“No, but I can make you need it, too.” He was close, his breath warm on her cheek as his tongue touched the pulse point in the hollow of her throat. “And that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? Feel your blood sting, burn, Jane?”
She did feel it, and she couldn’t breathe. “Don’t you do this to me, Caleb. It’s not … fair.”
“This is you. This is me. I haven’t even started to let your blood flow help things along. I’m tempted not to even do it, but you fight me too hard. You fight yourself too hard.” He was unbuttoning her shirt. “In many ways, I’m under a tremendous disadvantage with you, Jane.”
“So you’re going to force me?”
“Would I do that? I’m just going to make you very, very happy. And let you have a unique experience that you might have wanted for a long, long time.” His hands were on her breasts, and she arched helplessly toward him. “And I
won’t use anything but what we are together until you tell me you want it.”
She had to smother a gasp as sensation after sensation tingled through her. He was brushing his cheek against her breasts, and she felt the faint roughness against her nipples that was unbearably erotic. He was unbearably erotic. The feel of his hair against her, his hands on her stomach, moving over her.
How long had she wanted this? How long had she wanted him, she wondered dazedly. All she knew was that she wanted him now with a desire that was overwhelming.
“It’s fine.” He was pulling her down to the ground. “Don’t panic. It’s all up to you now. Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want to happen. Not easy for me … But I’ll keep the savage at bay.” His teeth were on her nipple, biting, pulling. “Do you want me to stop?”
She was on fire. Her heart pounding, exploding.
He bit down harder. “Stop?”
She arched upward with a cry, and her arms slid around him. “No, damn you.”
“Then I believe we’re ready to start…”
Madness.
Heat.
Mist.
So much mist.
The bank was damp, soft, beneath her naked body.
He was hard, muscles piston tense, moving above her, within her.
She was screaming, her hands digging into his shoulders.
“Shh.” Antonio was laughing down at her. “Though it pleases me that I can still make you scream after all these years, Cira.”
“Braggart.” Her teeth bit his shoulder. “I suppose you are somewhat adequate.”
Then she screamed again as he went deep.
Mist.
Passion.
Deep.
Madness.
Sex.
It went on and on and on.
Antonio.
No, Caleb.
Cira in the throes of her passion for her Antonio.
Caleb moving in and out in a frenzy that made Jane weak with sheer sexual exhaustion.
She didn’t know how long it lasted.
The mist.
Caleb’s tense face above her.
The muscles of her stomach clenching with every touch, every breath.
“Let it go, Jane.”
Caleb’s voice. Not Antonio’s. Caleb’s hands on her.
“Now.”
She exploded, her entire body convulsing.
She was panting.
Her entire body flushed, hot, malleable.
“It’s okay.” Caleb’s fingers touching the tears running down her cheeks. “It’s fine, Jane.”
Her heart was still pounding painfully as she looked up at him. “The hell it is. You son of a bitch. What did you do to me?”
“I have no idea. I left it up to you.” He moved away from her. “I started it going, then let your fantasies take charge. The mind can be so much more erotic, can’t it?”
“As long as you have that blood thing going for you.” She sat up and began to put on her clothes. They were both naked, and she forced herself not to look at him. He was all power and sexuality, and she remembered those gleaming muscles flexing above her. “You take advantage. Not fair, Caleb.”
“No, but not unforgiveable. I amused both of us, but I didn’t force you.” He leaned up on one arm, watching her dress. “And I would much rather have gone for the purely physical and skipped the mind games. But I wasn’t sure that wouldn’t have defeated my purpose. We were at a standstill and I had to be sure that we took a few steps forward.” He made a face. “Besides, I just needed something, and I took what I could get.”
“It will be your last chance. I’m not going to forget this.”
“I don’t want you to forget it.” He smiled. “I want you to remember it every time you see me. I’ll remember it, Jane.”
She could feel her cheeks burn. He had said that on purpose, so that it would be a constant reminder. “Then I’ll have to arrange not to see you, won’t I?”
“Eventually. But now we’re tied together with MacDuff and the hunt, and you’ll have a problem avoiding me.”
She pulled on her boots. “I’ll manage,” she said jerkily.
“Don’t you want to tell me about your fantasy?” he asked softly. “Though I think I can guess. The mists. The dreams. What else could it be?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Cira and Antonio.”
She didn’t answer.
“Was it good?”
“I don’t want to discuss this.”
“Why not? It was my gift to you.” He tilted his head, studying her. “Or did it get a little mixed up? Was it me or Antonio? In the end, which one was it?”
She got to her feet. “I’m going back to the camp. I’ll do my best to avoid you from now on, Caleb.”
“I know.” He didn’t move. “But this was just a temporary fix for me. I believe the next time I’ll have to find a way to get you to give me what I want with no reservations.”
She shook her head.
“Yes, I don’t know why I’m obsessed with you, Jane, but I don’t appear to be able to get over it. But I’m becoming impatient. How many favors have I done for you? I’m tired of playing the good guy. You want something from me, you pay the price.” He met her gaze. “You understand?”
“You couldn’t be more clear. But that’s not likely to happen.” She turned and strode back toward camp.
Mist.
Heat.
Caleb.
She involuntarily looked back over her shoulder.
He still hadn’t moved. He lay there totally naked, olive skin gleaming … aroused.
She could feel her body tauten, her breasts swell again as she looked at him.
Antonio or Caleb?
There was no doubt that Caleb had been dominant. Yet he was right, he had given her a gift when he had let her see into the Cira-Antonio passion. Those dreams had been such a part of her life that it seemed right that she should share that most intimate bond.
But she would not be grateful. As usual, Caleb had taken every bit as much as he’d given.
Or had he?
But, at any rate, gratitude to Caleb could be extremely dangerous.
CHAPTER
13
“Joe, we’ve got to do something about Cara,” Eve said bluntly as she walked into their tent late that afternoon. “I could see it coming, but it’s now in full bloom.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s becoming my shadow. Other than the time she’s playing her violin, she’s watching me like a hawk, running for everything she thinks I might need.” She added with exasperation, “Remember the discussion we had about you hovering over me after we found out about the baby? She’s twice as bad.” She glared at him. “And stop smirking. This isn’t funny.”
“I realize that.” His lips were twitching. “It only seems that way. May I remind you that you had no trouble putting me straight?”
“She’s a child. She has nothing to do but sit here in camp and wait for that bitch of a mother to pounce on her. I’ve sent for schoolbooks for her, she has her violin, but she needs something else to occupy her.”
“Except waiting on you hand and foot?”
“Exactly.” She sighed. “I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I can’t have her—” She broke off, then said, “I have to go to see the doctor for a checkup and a vitamin refill tomorrow. She wants to go with me. I don’t believe it’s safe for her to be away from the camp.”
“Just tell her no. I’ll go with you; that should be enough for her.”
“This is Cara. She’s determined to be my guardian angel. Michael’s guardian angel.”
“I believe I can fill that job.”
“Of course, you can.” She absently brushed a kiss on his forehead. “We just have to convince her that—” She stopped. “Or maybe not, maybe I’m going at this the wrong way.” She turned and strode out of the tent and up the hill toward MacDuff’s tent. They had stopped earl
y today because of the fog, and she knew that MacDuff was going over the measurements for the light placement for the north bank.
And she knew who was with him.
Who had been with him every day since they’d come back to Gaelkar.
She stuck her head through the entrance of the tent. “Jock, you come out here. Right now. I need you, dammit.” She didn’t wait, but whirled, and started walking toward the lake.
Jock caught up with her seconds later. “What’s wrong? Trouble?”
“You’re what’s wrong. I’ve been trying to put on Band-Aids, and I need a tourniquet.” She turned to face him. “I don’t care what you think the problem is with Cara, you fix it. You’ve practically ignored her since you got back. Which has put me in a hell of a situation since all that love and devotion she squanders on you is being heaped on my shoulders. I can’t handle it right now. I know she’s just being helpful and loving, but sometimes I feel as if I can’t breathe.”
“What are you talking about?” He was frowning. “Do you know how lucky you are? Do you know what kind of person—”
“I know all of that,” Eve interrupted. “I also know she wants to leave camp and go running to Glasgow with me on my errands. And all because she had a good friend, but he’s not there for her right now.” She looked him in the eye. “She leaves here, she’s vulnerable. And you know how determined she can be. If she actually makes up her mind, do you think anyone can stop her?”
“You have to stop her. You can’t expose her to—”
“No, you have to stop her. This is all your fault anyway.”
“I was right, Eve, Cara has to learn that she can’t control the way I—”
“Be quiet. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re acting as if Cara is a grown woman. She’s only twelve years old and trying her best to see her way through a hell of a lot more than any kid should have to stand.”
“I know that.”
“Then act as if you do. Give her a break. I think she’s wanted to come to you, but she won’t do it unless she thinks you need her. That’s what Cara’s all about. Or have you forgotten?”
“I haven’t forgotten.” He gave her a ghost of a smile. “Tough medicine, Eve.”
Night and Day Page 23
