Naya nodded. “You do look better. More relaxed. But those dark circles really have to go,” she teased.
Cassy rubbed her eyes. “Yeah. I’ve sort of been burning things from both ends lately, haven’t I?”
“Yes. You’ve missed all aerobics classes and the instructor is kicking our butts! We need you back in class so we don’t look so bad.”
Cassy rolled her eyes. “You need me back in class so that I’ll tempt both of you to grab a pizza after class.”
Naya shrugged. “That too. Ella is too healthy without your bad influence.”
They laughed as they packed up the trash from their lunch. “I’m sorry I’ve abandoned you guys,” she said as they walked back to Cassy’s office. “I’ll be better. I’ll have my gym clothes and be ready to work out tomorrow,” she promised them.
“You’d better!” Naya said.
“And pizza afterwards,” she teased.
Ella eyed her friend with concern. “Any chance you could get off early tonight and maybe get a good night’s sleep?” she asked.
Cassy looked down at her conservative, black pumps. “Probably not.”
“Still having trouble sleeping?” Naya asked.
Cassy nodded. “Yeah. But I’ll try.”
“Good enough,” Ella said and hugged Cassy. Naya hugged her as well and they watched Cassy walk into her office building.
Chapter 9
Cassy woke up and rolled over, nauseous all of a sudden. Laying very still, she waited until the queasiness eased a bit before getting out of bed and hitting the shower. The warm water washed the worst of her sleepiness away but it was still difficult to drag herself to the office. It had been like this for more than two weeks and Cassy still couldn’t seem to kick this fatigue!
When her cell phone rang, she briefly glanced at the screen, not wanting to deal with work right now. She was too tired and felt horrible. Besides, it was another one of those “out of area” phone numbers. She’d been getting a lot of those lately and it was really driving her crazy.
She pressed the “ignore” button and opened her fridge. Saturday. She hated Saturdays. She should go into the office and get some work done, but….
Shockingly, she was all caught up. She’d actually been ordered to stay home this weekend! Yesterday, Mr. Hanover had told her that he didn’t want to see her in the office until Monday morning or hear that she’d been anywhere near the building. He even threatened to shut off her badge so she couldn’t access the office.
Jerk!
Opening her fridge, she peered inside. Nothing.
Well, that’s not true. There was something in the corner over there but…she wasn’t sure what it was. Or rather, what it had been. It was green now. And fuzzy.
Ick!
She had a couple of containers of yogurt, but her stomach roiled at the thought of eating yogurt. Standing up, she peered into the freezer. Uh oh. Nothing in there either.
With a sigh, she accepted that grocery shopping was a top priority today.
After changing into leggings and a giant sweatshirt, she slipped on a pair of sneakers that had definitely seen better days, and headed out of her bedroom. Her bed called to her but she was determined to resist the temptation. She’d been either sleeping or working every moment of the past six weeks.
Cassy grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder, determined to get out of her apartment and load up on healthy foods. She really hated grocery shopping, but the state of her fridge told her that she’d reached a crisis point. She would rather clean her toilet than wander through the aisles of the grocery store, but she also liked eating. Eating was pretty necessary and, actually, now that she thought about it, she was starving! A big bag of chocolate might just happen to fall into her basket, she thought. And that idea perked her up so much that it was easier to talk herself into accomplishing the hated chore.
As soon as she walked through the automatic doors of the grocery store, she slipped her headphones on and turned up the music on her cell phone. She might need to get food, but that didn’t mean she had to listen to the annoying music that the store played through the overhead speakers.
It took her only twenty minutes to grab some fruit and a few things for salads. She really did need to eat better. Her stomach was probably rebelling against all of the takeout she’d had lately and the lack of quality sleep time.
As she walked back to her apartment building, she thought she saw a tall man with wonderfully broad shoulders striding out and ducking into a black SUV.
Her first thought was that Nasir had come looking for her. But as soon as the thought formed, she banished it. He wasn’t looking for her, he hadn’t called, and she had to accept that the man was not interested in her! Bowing her head, she took a deep, calming breath.
When she lifted her head, she felt better, more focused. She couldn’t let that man interfere any more in her life, even if he was only doing it in her thoughts. Well, he wasn’t actually doing anything, she reminded herself as she let herself into her apartment and started unloading groceries. She was torturing herself.
One moment, she was putting ice cream into the freezer, the next moment, she was about to hit the floor. Grabbing the counter, she held on tight, breaking a nail as she waited for the dizziness to dissipate.
“Woah!” she whispered as the haze slowly cleared away. The darkness around her faded as the light fixtures came back into focus and she looked around, not sure what had happened. Her head was still spinning so she kept hold of the countertop, but at least she didn’t feel like she was about to pass out onto the floor.
When the dizziness cleared, she looked around, wondering what that was about. Then she didn’t have a chance to think at all. Her body was reacting. Sprinting to the garbage can, she threw up. Over and over, her stomach heaved until her tummy was empty. And still her stomach continued to clench and lurch. Cassy had no idea how long she knelt by the garbage can but when it was all over, she felt horrible, shaky, and too weak to stand up.
Okay, huge sign telling her that she needed to take better care of herself. “Got it, God,” she muttered to the silent apartment weakly. “No more long work days and no more fast food. I’ll be good,” she promised.
It took her several minutes to get up because her legs were shaking so badly. But when she stood, she reached into the fridge and grabbed an apple. Munching on the juicy, tart fruit felt better, giving her body immediate nutrients. And besides, eating apples always made her feel righteous, as if she’d done something good for herself. She never felt the same way while eating berries or other fruits. There was just something about apples that felt healthier somehow.
All day Saturday and Sunday, she ate as well as she could. But it didn’t seem to matter. By Sunday night, the nausea was still there. And when she got ready for bed that night, taking off her sports bra was painful!
Her phone rang and she ignored it, since it was just the stupid “out of area” number again. She’d gotten four of those phone calls today, but had ignored all of them. When the phone stopped ringing, she slipped into bed and called Ella.
“What’s up?” she answered immediately.
“Hey, do you know how to block a phone number on a cell phone? Is there a way?” she asked, knowing that if there was a technical issue, Ella could fix it.
“Of course there is. Go to your settings and….”
Cassy followed Ella’s instructions and, a few minutes later, the call was apparently blocked. Hopefully she wouldn’t get any more of those calls.
“Great! Thanks for your help. Now tell me about your date last night. What happened?”
Ella groaned. “We went to a hockey game.”
“You love hockey. What’s wrong with that?”
She laughed. “No, you don’t understand. We didn’t go see the professionals play hockey. We went to see his four sons play hockey over at that ice rink off of Pickett Road. It was packed and there weren’t any seats.”
Cassy cringed. “Okay
, so he has kids. Probably something he should have mentioned before last night but…was it fun?”
There was a moment of silence and Cassy waited, eager to hear what horrible thing had happened next. Obviously, good dating skills were not in their repertoire. “After the games…yes, plural…because each of the four kids had a hockey game, so we stood and watched four hockey games.” There was a moment of silence and Cassy could picture her friend pushing her blond hair out of her eyes and shaking her head. The woman really was more patient than a saint while in the moment, but afterwards, she would mumble cuss words for the next week. “Afterward, we went to the after-game pizza party.”
“Oh,” Cassy said, shaking her head. “Okay, so…”
“Yeah, so about a hundred pre-teen boys, pumped up on adrenaline, sugar, and caffeine, stuffing pizza in their faces – not always their own, mind you – and screaming back and forth about who shoved the hardest, who could stuff more pizza into his mouth, and, well, you get the picture.”
Cassy laughed. She couldn’t help it. Ella really did have the worst luck when it came to dating. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“I hear your amusement and I’m not impressed with your concern, my friend,” she admonished.
“I know. I’m sorry that I’m laughing. Your dates really do make the…” She stopped. Cassy was about to say that Ella’s dates made the rest of the male population look better, but then Nasir’s face popped into her mind and her heart ached again. “Well, yeah, you have bad dating luck.”
Cassy grunted but they moved on, talking about something else. When Cassy hung up a half hour later, she felt better and grabbed a book. It was only seven o’clock. How pathetic was it that she was in bed, trying to read but fighting to keep her eyes open?
The next thing she knew, she rolled over and her alarm was sounding. Looking around, she realized that it was five o’clock in the morning and she had to….
Rush to the bathroom again. Fast!
Just like yesterday morning, she emptied her stomach, heaving the contents into the toilet. It wasn’t as bad as yesterday, or at least, it didn’t last as long. But when it was all over, she sat back with her back against the tub and she stared at her toes, trying to will herself to move. Nothing happened. She just sat there, her mind trying to function slowly.
Pushing herself up, she showered and got dressed, eager to go into the office. She didn’t like taking time off, even if that time off was just a Saturday and Sunday. It revealed how pathetic her life really was because she didn’t have any hobbies, couldn’t get into reading a simple mystery novel and she was exhausted all the time. It was better to just bury her head in the sand. Or bury her head in work issues. She could handle work. Life? Not so much!
She munched on an apple as she walked into the quiet office. Tossing her apple core into the garbage can, she grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee, relieved that someone else had arrived before her and had started the coffee making process. Usually, she was the first one in each morning, but she’d been later than normal today because of her nausea.
She had just sat down at her desk when she took her first sip of the coffee.
And almost threw up again! It was horrible!
“Ugh!” she gasped and pushed her coffee cup away. She couldn’t drink that swill! Someone obviously didn’t know how to make a pot of coffee!
Her phone rang and she grabbed the receiver. At the same time, Cassy glanced longingly at her coffee cup but there was no way she could drink anything that bad. An hour later, she finally took a break and walked into the kitchen to dump her first cup of coffee so she could grab another. But the smell in the kitchen made her stomach start to lurch, so she just poured her coffee down the drain and hurried away. She’d grab a cup at the corner coffee shop. They had better coffee anyway.
Unfortunately, as soon as she stepped into the coffee shop, she rushed out again, leaning against one of the light posts and gasping for breath.
“Are you okay, honey?” a kind voice asked to Cassy’s right.
Cassy could only nod, lying but not sure what else to do.
The woman didn’t go away. “Maybe you should sit down,” she suggested and took Cassy’s arm. “Come on,” she urged as she led Cassy over to one of the benches set up for the bus stop. “It’s always like this in the beginning,” she said softly, rubbing Cassy’s back as she leaned forward.
Cassy had no idea what the woman meant. She looked to be in her mid-forties with kind, blue eyes and slightly greying hair. “In the beginning?”
“Can’t stand the scent of coffee? Throwing up in the mornings? The morning sickness goes away around week fourteen but the coffee? Nope. I couldn’t stand the smell until well after my baby came. And since you’re wearing sports bra, I’m guessing your breasts are tender?”
Cassy had never discussed anything so personal as her breasts with a stranger. “I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?” she asked as politely as she could under the circumstances.
The woman only smiled, her gentle gaze making Cassy’s stomach clench even harder. “Uh oh. You don’t know? You haven’t taken a pregnancy test yet?”
Cassy started to shake her head but stopped when the movement caused her stomach to roil again. Pregnant? Impossible! She couldn’t be pregnant!
Cassy looked down at her hands, then at the sidewalk. Pregnant? “I’m not pregnant,” she asserted firmly.
At least…no, Nasir had used condoms every time during that weekend six…
Cassy’s mind stopped. “No!” she gasped. That one time. The first time! That first time when…. Oh no!
The woman nodded sagely as Cassy’s already pale features blanched further. “Yes. It happens.”
“But…” she shook her head. “We used protection!” she protested, more to herself than to the woman beside her.
The soft laughter that followed her statement was not comforting. Not in the least! “Only abstinence is one hundred percent effective, dear,” she said as she continued to rub Cassy’s back. She glanced at Cassy’s hand. “Is the father still in the picture?”
Cassy looked at her bare ring finger as well, her heart aching at the memories of Nasir. “No. He’s gone.”
The woman laughed slightly. “Well, it is a different world now. Women have children on their own all the time now.”
Not in her law firm, she thought with rising panic. Yes, women could have babies outside of marriage in the rest of the world, but her law firm would frown on that kind of “scandal”!
What would they do if she told them that she was pregnant and unmarried? They dealt with political clients all the time, heads of major businesses, international clients that wouldn’t tolerate a lawyer with less than stellar morals.
Of course, the men in her law firm didn’t have stellar morals. Nope, they were some of the biggest hound dogs in the city, she suspected. Not that she’d done a thorough evaluation of the promiscuity of the male London population. But…
She was getting off the subject, not wanting to deal with the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.
Would they fire her? Was she going to lose her job?
No, they couldn’t fire her. Not legally. But she worked for the best law firm in the city. They would figure out a way to get rid of her. Or they would hide her away, give her the worst cases and block her from any sort of promotion, make her life miserable until she resigned.
“This isn’t happening,” she whispered.
The woman chuckled again. “Oh, it is happening, dear. It happens to the best of us. My husband and I got pregnant…” the kind woman went on and on about each of her five pregnancies…five! Cassy couldn’t imagine getting pregnant once, let alone five times!
She couldn’t be pregnant! It was impossible! They’d used protection! Every time! Except for that one time and, surely God wouldn’t be so cruel as to punish her for missing one time. They’d been so careful after that first time. She’d even helped him with that protection and it had
become part of their foreplay!
Oh my.
She counted backwards, trying to remember the dates of her flight to Zurich and the last time she’d had her period.
When she did the math in her head, she was stunned. She wasn’t just a few days late. She was several weeks late! She was pregnant!
“Oh no!” she sighed and dropped her head into her hands, staring at the filthy cement sidewalk.
Pregnant!
The nausea in the mornings, her tender breasts, the way she’d almost fainted on Saturday, and her constant fatigue. Was fatigue a symptom of being pregnant? She wasn’t sure, but it would certainly make sense.
And then it hit her. Pregnant! Gone were all of the negative ramifications. She was pregnant!
She thought back to that weekend. Nasir’s roughly handsome features. His sharp eyes and hawk-like nose, the black hair and his tall, muscular body. He was magnificent!
Would her baby inherit those dark features? Or would her child be more like herself? Would they have her brown hair and brown eyes? Would her daughter have her obnoxiously large breasts? Cassy had no idea what Nasir’s parents were like. Was his mother beautiful? He had such harsh features, she couldn’t imagine what a feminine version of Nasir would look like. But a male version? Oh my!
“Are you okay?” the woman asked, obviously needing to get back to her day.
Cassy nodded her head. Was she really okay? No. Was she going to have to deal with this? Yes.
“I’m fine,” she finally said. “Thank you so much for your help.”
The woman laughed softly and gave Cassy another pat on her back. “I’m not sure if I helped so much as informed. But good luck!”
A moment later, Cassy was sitting on the bench alone, still trying to come to terms with the possibility that she might be pregnant.
A pregnancy test was her first priority. Standing up slowly, she looked around. The world was still revolving. It hadn’t changed dramatically in the past few minutes. But she had. Oh yeah, her whole life might have changed.
Pregnancy test, she reminded herself. She had to be sure before she let herself panic. She hurried across the street to the drug store and surveyed the aisles until she found what she needed. Self-consciously, she purchased the box and then walked back to her office. She stuffed the test into her purse and turned back to her computer. She wasn’t ready to deal with that test yet. She’d bought it. She’d take it. Just not right now. This crisis would be dealt with in stages. Slowly.
Unexpectedly Expecting the Sheik's Baby (The Ladies of The Burling School Book 6) Page 12
