There was no point debating it. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the image of Brady out of her mind. What if they could do something to help? A couple times that evening Kari and Landon had asked her if she was okay. She’d told them she was. But later that night, Landon had pulled her close and apologized. “You were serious about that Brady guy.” He searched her eyes. “Weren’t you?”
Ashley had nodded. “Of course.” She smiled, feeling the hurt in her expression. “I wouldn’t joke about that.”
“Hey.” He hugged her and ran his hand along her back. “I’m sorry. Really, Ash.” After a minute he’d looked at her again. “Let’s pray for the guy. Then you can let it go.”
Ashley had agreed, and together they prayed for Brady. That he’d find God and peace and yes, one day, that he’d find Jenna. Whoever she was.
The next morning, though, Landon had looked at her with the slightest bit of humor in his eyes. “I can’t believe you took his letter off the fence.” He shook his head. “And took a picture of it.” He came to her and kissed her cheek. “That’s my wife.” His smile had been genuine. “One in a million, baby. No one like you.”
He’d meant the words as a compliment. Ashley knew that. He always said he admired her courage. How she could have a tough conversation with anyone or help a complete stranger. But this time his attitude frustrated her. He’d seemed to be making light of the whole thing.
What if she wasn’t supposed to dismiss the situation so easily? She had thought about asking Landon if he minded if she looked up the stranger. If she at least tried to help the guy. But she didn’t ask. Mostly because she didn’t want his disapproval.
Now it was Saturday morning and they were out on their rented houseboat, the culmination of the spring break trip. Landon and Ryan took turns driving the boat around the lake and then they headed for the quiet side of the shore, so the kids could swim. Everyone wore life jackets—even the adults. Landon’s suggestion. So they’d set a good example for the children.
For now, the cousins were on the top deck with the men, in the observation area. And Kari was on a phone call with Ryan’s mother, getting caught up with his side of the family. Ashley assessed the situation.
There couldn’t be a better time.
She pulled her laptop from her bag and found a table near the back of the boat. They’d been so busy having fun she hadn’t opened her phone, let alone her laptop. All she had was maybe ten minutes. And since the boat had Wi-Fi, it couldn’t hurt to look. Guilt rattled her heart as she signed on to Facebook and typed in his name. There were several Brady Bradshaws but only one of them who could’ve been the man at the fence. She opened his page and saw she had the right one.
Firefighter. Oklahoma City.
A little snooping and she realized he’d been on the show Survivor. No wonder he looked familiar. He was also the June photo in a calendar of firefighters. Ashley looked at the image for a few seconds. There had to be a clue here somewhere. Then just as quickly she moved on. Never mind that. She searched his friends, typing in the girl’s name: Jenna.
Nothing.
Of course nothing . She sighed. If Jenna was his Facebook friend, Brady wouldn’t be looking for her at the memorial. She thought for a moment. It took no time to realize Landon was right. She had no leads, no last name. No possible way to find the girl.
Not unless she contacted Brady for more information.
She opened her photos and called up the picture of the letter again. His phone number was right there. All the information she might need was a mere text away. Then she could at least help the guy. Ashley stared at the number, and as she did she felt a hand on her shoulder.
A quick turn and her regret was immediate. “Landon!”
He looked from the laptop and phone to Ashley. Confusion clouded his face. “Didn’t you hear me cut the engine?”
“No.” She forced a laugh. “I was just . . . checking Facebook.”
“Okay.” Landon wasn’t one to doubt her. Not ever. Their marriage was something other couples dreamed about. But as he stared intently at her computer screen, the slightest hurt filled his eyes. “Brady Bradshaw?”
Ashley closed her laptop and clicked off her phone. She stood and faced her husband. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” She felt terrible. Landon didn’t deserve this. “It’s just . . . Honey, I want to help him.” She took hold of his hands. “Is that crazy?”
For a while, Landon just looked at her. He seemed slightly irritated. “I don’t know if it’s crazy, Ash.” He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. As if he wanted to show her how much he trusted her. Like he was determined not to be angry. “How about you come swim with the kids?”
“Okay.” She felt her muscles tense. Good thing they were alone. They didn’t need an audience for this. “I might just reach out to him first.”
“Now?” He still wasn’t mad, but his patience was clearly unraveling. “The kids are swimming. We’re on vacation.”
“Exactly.” Ashley tried to smile.
“I guess my question is why? Why look him up?” Landon worked the muscle in his jaw. “I thought we agreed to pray for him. Leave it at that.”
“I know. But the more I think about it . . . Landon, listen.” Ashley shifted so she could see him better. “If I can do something to help him, I should do it. Now.”
“No.” Landon let go of her fingers and took a step back. “Look, the guy’s not exactly unattractive. That’s kind of obvious.” No question he was trying to stay calm. But frustration sounded in his tone. “You reach out to him, and . . .”
“And what?” Heat coursed through her body and her heart pounded. “What, Landon?” She uttered a single laugh, but there was nothing funny about it. “You can’t be serious.” Her anger took root. “You think I’m hitting on him?”
“Of course not.” He lowered his voice. “But . . . those things start somewhere.”
“Those things?” Now she was upset. “Really, Landon, that’s ridiculous.”
Suddenly she heard herself. What was happening? Why was she doing this? Fighting with the guy she loved more than her next breath? Father, calm me. Please. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and exhaled. “I’m sorry.” She stared down at her chair, and then back at Landon. “That was rude.”
He looked at her, like he wasn’t sure what to say. The hurt in his eyes told her he was still struggling. “I’ll let it go. I shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it.”
She still wanted to help the guy, but why right now? “It can wait. Or I can just drop it.”
Landon drew a slow breath. He closed the distance between them and reached his hands out. “You don’t even know him. If you contacted him, I guess you might find out more about the girl. But . . . I don’t see how that would help.”
“True.” She gently wove her fingers between his. “I really am sorry.” Something bothered her. She had no choice but to voice it. “You . . . trust me, right?”
“Baby.” They were only a few inches apart. “Of course I trust you.” He took his time as he leaned in and kissed her. More tentatively this time. When he looked into her eyes he found her heart. “I’m sorry, too.” The corners of his mouth lifted into a slight smile. “Let’s go swim.”
“Okay.” She hugged him, brushing the side of her face gently against his. The situation wasn’t worth talking about now. “I’m sorry again. I love you, Landon.”
“I love you, too.” He ran his thumb lightly along her fingers.
Ashley savored the feel of her hands in his, his cheek against hers. No one could ever understand her or love her, the way Landon did. “You’re the best husband in all the world. Have I told you that lately?”
“Mmmm.” He kissed her again. His words were a whisper, close to her neck. “You have the most beautiful hair. Has anyone ever told you that?”
Ashley felt her heart melt. Those words mattered only between the two of them. Words spoken long ago by dear Irvel, one of the Alzhei
mer’s patients where Ashley worked when she and Landon fell in love. When all the world spun around the two of them.
The way it still did.
Ashley kissed him again. “Swim, right? Wasn’t that it?”
“Yes.” He hugged her and spoke in a whisper. “Until tonight.”
She grinned. The private moment with her husband had turned everything for the better. The fact that even after getting frustrated with each other, they could still come together and be okay. The reality that Landon trusted her. He wasn’t angry.
And later if she still felt compelled to help Brady, she would. Because this wasn’t only about following God’s lead in helping a guy find the girl he longed for. Brady might need a lot more than a girl named Jenna.
He might need God, Himself.
• • •
ASHLEY AND LANDON met up with the kids one deck down.
They had climbed out of the water and now all of them were sitting at the long table adjacent to the galley, eating sandwiches. Ashley saw the red cheeks on a few of the kids. “Let’s do another round of sunscreen.”
Janessa came running up. “Cole tried, but I need your help, Mommy.”
Across the deck Cole shrugged. “I think she’s good.” He grinned. “But moms do a better job. That’s what she said.”
Moms do a better job. Ashley shot a quick look at Amy. Cole didn’t mean any harm by his comment, but still it must hurt. Hearing something like that.
Ashley grabbed the sunscreen and rubbed it onto Janessa’s shoulders and cheeks. Then she called Amy over. “Aunts do a better job, too.” She smiled at her niece. “Right?”
For a moment, Amy stood there. As if she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone but her mom to help her. But very quickly a smile lifted her lips. “You’re right. No one’s better than you, Aunt Ashley!”
Tears stung at Ashley’s eyes, but she refused them. Ashley had a feeling her niece’s recent growth had a lot to do with her fascination with the Survivor Tree. Like the tree, Amy was determined to live. The thought of that warmed Ashley more than the sunshine.
After lunch the kids swam and paddled around in the rafts. Cole and Devin and RJ learned how to do flips off the back of the boat. They each had a floating ring and for a while they used those to play a slow version of water tag until they were laughing too hard to keep going. They returned the boat just before sunset, and after dinner the group headed back to the hotel.
But as they turned in that night, after Landon was asleep, Ashley couldn’t settle her thoughts. What if she really could find this Jenna? Research was Ashley’s specialty, right? Wasn’t that something she’d known about herself for a decade?
And maybe if she connected with Brady, she could find out what he’d done to try to locate Jenna. Maybe Brady and Jenna were meant to be together, and maybe Ashley was supposed to help. Couldn’t that be the reason she had gotten the chance to take a photo of his heartbreaking words?
Her thoughts kept her awake far too late.
Lord, is this from You? Is this something I should take on? She didn’t exactly hear a clear answer, but she felt a sense all the same. As if God had arranged for Brady to be there at that exact moment. So Ashley could help him.
The next morning they set out early for home, and all the while Ashley found herself thinking about the firefighter. At one of the stops, while Landon was getting gas, Ashley went to the photos on her phone and read his letter once more. What could it hurt to reach out to him?
Whoever Jenna was, the guy had only shared his story with her. No one else understood him. No one else had the same heart as him. At least that was what Brady thought. By the sounds of it, Brady and Jenna were both survivors of the Oklahoma City bombing. But in what way? Had they been in the building, too, when their parents were killed?
Ashley closed her photo app as they hit the road again. She looked at Landon, his familiar profile and the joy in his eyes. Should she tell him she was thinking again about the letter, about helping Brady?
Landon must’ve caught her looking, because he met her gaze and smiled. “Perfect day for a road trip.”
“Definitely.” Her smile was quick. “It’s been a great spring break.”
“It has.” He kept one hand on the wheel, and reached for hers with the other. “I love these years. While the kids are still young.”
Her heart lurched. Probably best not to tell him now. Why ruin the mood with something harmless? She could tell him later, when they were home. Instead they talked about his job as the marketing director for the fire department. He was second in command now, but the understanding was that when the fire chief retired in a few years, the job belonged to Landon.
He’d come so far since the days when he had a constant cough, back when it looked like Landon might have a lung disease because of the months he’d spent in New York City at Ground Zero. Now his breathing was great. He still went in for an X-ray every year, but last time the doctor had told Landon his health had never been better.
Ashley was grateful to God. She had resisted Landon in her earlier years, back when she had rebelled against everyone who loved her. Now she only prayed for a long, healthy life with her husband. That they could be a source of faith and hope for their family and friends.
And maybe even for the stranger from the memorial.
• • •
THEY’D BEEN HOME two days when Ashley couldn’t stand waiting another minute. She had to reach out to Brady. The idea of telling Landon first crossed her mind, but her husband was already in bed. He had an early breakfast meeting tomorrow. Once the kids were down for the night, Ashley settled into the living room sofa and stared at her phone.
Once more, she called up the photo of Brady’s letter.
It was only nine o’clock in Oklahoma City. He would probably still be awake, so should she text him? She tapped her finger on the phone and thought for a minute. Of course she should text him. How else could she help the guy? Why wait?
Ashley dismissed the subtle feelings of guilt. No reason to feel sneaky or awkward. She would tell Landon tomorrow, once she’d made contact with Brady. Ashley didn’t want anything weird here. Didn’t want Brady thinking she had any motives other than to help him. So she wrote her text very carefully. Then she read it back to herself.
Hi, Brady. You don’t know me. My name’s Ashley Baxter Blake, and I saw you at the Oklahoma City National Memorial on the anniversary. I watched you leave a note on the fence for someone named Jenna. I know this is strange, but I know you’re trying to find her. Don’t be angry, but I read the letter you left for her. I actually think there’s a reason I saw you. I think God is telling me I’m supposed to help you.
Ashley smiled. Yes, that was the right way to word this. She kept reading.
If you could tell me Jenna’s last name, I’ll see what I can do. I’m not sure why I feel compelled to reach out. But I’m very good at research and I have time to help you. I have a feeling I’ll find her.
She thought about Irvel and Sunset Hills Adult Care Home. Also, the situation last year when Devin’s teacher had mentioned she’d been trying to find her birth parents. The woman had tried everything. It wasn’t until Ashley stepped in and helped that she finally located them. She still had photos from the teacher of that happy moment.
Time and again she was drawn into the lives of other people to make a difference. Helping people was her specialty.
She stared at her phone. The text needed just a bit more explanation.
Anyway, if I can help at all, let me know. Just give me her last name and I’ll see what I can find. And if there’s anything else I can do, let me know. Until then, I’m praying for you.
The text was perfect. Exactly what Ashley wanted to say. When Landon came home tomorrow she’d let him read it. She already knew how it would go. He would smile at her and give a slight shake of his head. “You’re an interesting one, Ashley,” he would say.
Then he would pour himself a glass of water and watch her from acr
oss the kitchen. He would say something kind and understanding. Something like “I believe you’re right, Ashley. Maybe God is using this situation for His good.”
And if he didn’t . . . well, if not then she would let the whole thing go.
She hesitated a moment longer, then she hit send. For the next hour while she washed the kitchen sink and counters and got ready for bed, she kept an eye on her phone. With every passing minute, she felt more foolish. What had made her think Brady would reply to her? Why would the guy trust a complete stranger?
By the time she climbed into bed she was sure of one thing: Landon had been right from the beginning. The guy didn’t want her help.
Well, she told herself. That’s that. He isn’t going to answer .
Even still she would tell Landon about the text tomorrow, maybe while they watched the Reds game on TV.
She’d laugh it off with Landon and tell him he was right. “The poor guy probably thinks I’m a lunatic.” She would utter a sad chuckle and she’d look straight at Landon. “Do you think I’m a little crazy?”
And Landon would give her an understanding smile and he would tease. “Ashley,” he would say, “I married you because you’re a little crazy. I like you that way.”
Yes, that was how it would go. The whole thing would be over and she could get back to life without obsessing over a stranger’s problems.
Ashley had barely finished writing the imaginary script for how tomorrow would play out, and had just turned off the lights when her phone dinged. She stared at it for a moment, plugged in by her bed. Then she picked it up. One new message. She pressed her thumb on the screen, and there it was.
A text from Brady Bradshaw.
Ashley’s heart quickened as she opened it, but at the same time her hopes fell. His reply held no clue as to what he thought about her message, no words as to whether he believed Ashley could be of any help. His text said just this:
I don’t know her last name.
9
To the Moon and Back Page 9
