“I heard you and the doctor talking about how Mother got sick after we were born.”
“That is true. But it’s not because of anything either of you did, but that there was something in her brain that wasn’t right.”
“Miss Quinn told me that too.”
“And do you believe her?” I asked.
His gaze lifted upward. “I want to.”
In the seconds it took before I answered my little boy, a myriad of thoughts crossed through my mind. Like me, Theo blamed himself for Ida’s death. How many times had I thought if only I hadn’t made her pregnant a third and fourth time? I’d blamed my lust for her troubles. However, if what I was telling my little boy was true, then wasn’t it the same for me? What was wrong with Ida was no one’s fault. Not even hers. I’d blamed her for what was out of her control. She hadn’t wanted to be sick. She’d wanted to live before the mental illness had pushed her into darkness.
“Papa, what is it?” Theo reached from under the covers to grasp my hand. “What’s made you sad?”
“What happened to your mother was no one’s fault. We have to forgive ourselves and her for what happened and move forward.”
His dark brows came together. “Papa, do you love Miss Quinn?”
I blinked, then laughed. “How did you know?”
“Josephine told us. She knows these things because of the books she reads. At least that’s what she said.”
“Well, she’s right.”
“She never tries to make me be anything but myself,” Theo said.
“How would you feel if I married Miss Quinn?”
“I’d feel happy. Have you asked her?”
“Not properly. But I plan to.”
Theo smiled. “She has to say yes, Papa. There’s no one else in the whole world as good as you.”
I kissed his forehead to hide the tears that sprang to my eyes. “You’re pretty good yourself.”
Lizzie and Mrs. Wu were in the kitchen feeding Fiona, Li, and Fai a lunch of potato soup and bread.
“Hi, Papa,” Fiona said from the table. “I’m having lunch with my new friends.”
“I can see that.” I kissed the top of her head.
“After this Lizzie said we could go out and see Harley in the barn.”
“I can help with the chores, Lord Barnes,” Li said.
“Thank you, young man,” I said. “But when you’re feeling well enough, I’d like you to go to school with the others.”
Li looked at his bowl of soup. “I won’t know anything.”
“Miss Cooper will teach you what you need to know.”
“Will they call me bad names?” Li asked.
“No. Miss Cooper would never allow that.”
“Calling someone a mean name is mean,” Fiona said.
I chuckled and rumpled her hair. “Yes, it is.
“Now I have to go into town. I’m picking up a present.”
“For me?” Fiona asked.
“No, pet. For Miss Quinn. I’ve had a new coat made for her and it’s ready.”
From the island where she smashed cloves of garlic, Lizzie twittered. “There’s no saving you now.”
“That, Lizzie, is the absolute truth.”
Chapter 27
Quinn
The Monday afternoon after our scare with Theo, I came home from school weary and in need of a long winter’s nap. When we came into the house, Alexander met us at the door.
He whispered in my ear as he helped me out of my coat. “My love, are you exhausted?”
“I am.” My love. I’d never tire of hearing those words out of his mouth.
“How’s Theo?” Flynn asked.
“Much better,” Alexander said. “He slept a lot today, but he ate some of Lizzie’s soup.”
Flynn’s pinched face relaxed. “I’m going to see him. Just to make sure.”
All day at school, Flynn had fretted silently over his twin. At lunch he hadn’t even wanted to go outside, staying instead to clean the blackboard. When I’d asked him why he would miss the chance to be outside, he’d shrugged and said, “Without Theo, it doesn’t seem right to have fun.”
The children all scurried off to find out what Lizzie had for them in the kitchen.
“I’ll look after things this afternoon,” he said. “You rest. I have something special for you later.”
I reluctantly agreed, my fatigue winning against any other argument.
He kissed me lightly and pointed toward the stairs. “Off with you.”
I trudged up the stairs and down the hall, stopping at the boys’ room first. They were both on their beds facing each other. From what I could tell, Flynn was in the middle of telling Theo the details of the day. “Then, Miss Quinn told us about the time the Americans dumped all this tea into the Boston Harbor. It was a band of resistant fighters and they went in the middle of the night and threw it all off the sides of ships. I wish I’d have been there.”
Theo, hanging on every word, nodded. “Did they get in trouble?”
Flynn noticed me then. “Miss Quinn, tell him what happened next.”
“I’m tired from talking all day,” I said. “But later, I’ll tell you about it.”
“Thanks, Miss Quinn.”
“I’m off to rest,” I said. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Miss Quinn,” Flynn said. “Are we bad because we’re part English?”
“No, of course not. That was all a long time ago. England and America are great friends now.”
“But how can that be?” Theo asked. “If they were enemies before?”
“Politics is complicated,” I said. “The best thing to remember is that it’s not people but governments who create wars.”
They both stared at me with blank expressions.
“By government, I mean men in power. They want something the other country has and decide sacrificing young men’s lives is the way to get it.”
“Will we ever have to be soldiers?” Theo asked.
I put my hand over my chest. “I’ll pray you won’t. I hope we’ll never have another war where we have to send our sons off to fight.”
“I’d want to fight,” Flynn said. “If we had a war, that is.”
“Miss Quinn, you said mothers send sons off to war,” Theo said. “What happens if you don’t have a mother?”
I fought tears and examined my fingernails until I could think of a sensitive response. “Young men are sent off to war by the women and girls who love them but also by fathers and uncles and even grandfathers. While they’re gone, those who wait at home pray for their safe return and never ever stop loving them. It doesn’t have to be a mother.”
“What if you were our mother?” Flynn asked. “Then we’d have someone to send us off and wait for us to come back.”
Tears spilled from my eyes. I brushed them away as quickly as I could. “It would be my great honor to be your mother. If I were, there is no place you could go that I wouldn’t be waiting here when you return. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you well and safe.”
“Just like last night when I was sick?” Theo asked.
“Yes. Exactly like that.”
After supper and bedtime, Alexander and I met in the library. He had me sit and set a package on my lap. “Open it,” he said.
“What have you done now?” I untied the string and tore away the brown paper. A note card lay on top of tissue. In perfectly even handwriting, it read: “For my lovely Quinn. To keep you warm when I cannot. All my love, Alexander.” I lifted the tissue and pulled out a forest-green wool coat. “Alexander, it’s beautiful.” I stood, and he helped me into the heavy overcoat. Lace trim and a smart belt, with a hem that reached just above my ankle, it was as nice as anything I’d seen on the finest ladies of Boston.
He led me over to the mirror in the foyer. “Olofsson made it especially for you. Anna helped me pick out the material.”
I stared at my reflection in the looking glass. “I feel posh and fancy. And warm.�
��
From behind me, Alexander smoothed the sleeves with his hands. “The dark green suits you. Anna thought it would.”
“She knew it was for me?” I flushed. “Everyone in town knows about us?”
“They know only that I’m in love with you,” he said.
My eyes flew wide open. “You’re in love with me?”
“My love, isn’t it obvious by now?”
The Wu family had been with us a week when Li asked if he could come to school with us. Dressed in clothes from the twins’ outgrown closet and buoyed from a week of Lizzie’s meals, he looked like a different boy. I tested his reading and arithmetic abilities first thing that morning. Oddly enough, given his limited resources, he could read at the same level as my youngest students. When I asked him how he’d learned to read, he explained that his mother had taught him the basics before she died. “Mr. Cole brought me books when he came,” Li said.
“I’m pleased for you,” I said. “And this is only the beginning.”
Around noon, the sky darkened and began to dump snow. A howling wind shook the schoolhouse. Unable to focus, I paced at the back of the classroom watching the sideways snow. At one, Harley showed up and suggested I cancel school for the rest of the day. I agreed without hesitation. He offered to take the Cole and Cassidy children home and come back for the Barnes brood, Poppy, Li, and me. Louisa had not come to school that morning, or I would have asked Harley to take her along with the others. I hoped she was home, warm and fed, but I feared the worst. Theo, too, was out that day, not well enough yet to venture out into the cold.
I peered through the glass window. Snow fell so thickly it was as if there were a gauze in front of my eyes. The Johnson and Olofsson kids usually walked the few blocks to their parents’ shops. I decided right then that it wasn’t safe for them to try to find their way alone. If they lost one another and became disoriented, they might freeze to death. There wouldn’t be room in the sleigh for all of us. Harley would have to take two trips, delaying our trip home. More importantly, the Johnsons and Olofssons would worry if they saw Harley head out of town with some of the students and their own didn’t come home. They might try to come for them, which could lead to disaster.
They were all in their coats and hats and about to head for the door. “Wait. I’m going with you.” I grabbed the rope from my desk. “Josephine, you stay here with the others. When Harley comes, have him pick me up at the Johnsons’ store.”
“What’re you doing?” Flynn asked.
“I’m going to walk them to their parents’ shops. We’re all going to hold on to this rope,” I said to the others as I put on my new coat. “So that no one gets lost.”
I took the lead, with Martha at the back. “Keep a tight grip and put one foot in front of the other.”
The moment we were outside, the wind nearly knocked me over. Hard snow stung our faces as we tromped across the schoolyard. “Keep holding tight,” I yelled. The wind made it impossible to know if they heard me or not. We trudged along this way, one foot after the other. Thank goodness for my new coat and boots. The buildings in town were bulky white blocks, but at least they were visible. After what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes, we reached the tailor’s shop. Mrs. Olofsson was at the window, white as a sheet.
She flung open the door, motioning for the boys to come inside. “Thank goodness. We saw Harley drive by with the others, so I knew you’d closed school early. I was afraid.”
The boys scurried into the shop and past their mother, chattering excitedly about what a grand adventure we’d had.
Mr. Olofsson appeared next to his wife. “You’re a smart girl,” he said to me. “With the rope.”
“I’m headed to the Johnsons’ next.” We didn’t stay for further talk. The girls and I continued our slow pace. My feet had numbed, and my cheeks throbbed from the cold. A few minutes later, we came upon the shop. Mr. Johnson, dressed in his hat and coat, had his hand on the doorknob.
“Come in, come in,” he said as the girls and I stumbled into the warm room. “I was about to head out to find you.”
Both Martha and Elsa burst into tears. “We were scared,” Elsa said. “But Miss Cooper said to just hold tight and put one foot in front of the other.”
Anna Johnson rushed toward us, embracing both her daughters and then me. “You’re so brave, Miss Cooper. Thank you.”
I hadn’t felt brave, but we were safe, and that was all that mattered now. “I’m going to wait here for Harley.” I explained that he’d taken the farm kids home first and would return for us. “I didn’t want to wait for his return for fear you’d worry and try to come for them.”
“We saw them drive past, so we knew,” Anna said. “Sven was about to leave. If you hadn’t been so smart with the rope, who knows what would’ve happened.”
Sven patted me on the arm. “Thank you for keeping my girls safe.”
“It’s my duty to protect them,” I said. “I’d never put them in harm’s way if I could possibly help it.”
When Harley pulled up in front of the store, Alexander was with him. I waved goodbye to the Johnsons and ran out the door. Alexander met me halfway and scooped me into his arms and carried me to the sleigh. “I was worried sick. What made you do such a foolish thing?”
“I couldn’t risk the parents coming for them,” I said.
“You foolish, courageous woman.” He tucked me into the seat and slid in next to me.
As we set out, I looked back at the children. With the snow and the dim light, it was hard to make out their faces. Theo had stayed home, so Li sat next to Flynn in the back seat. He stared at me with his dark eyes and smiled. “Is school always like this?” he asked.
“No, this was unusual,” I said.
Cymbeline sniffed.
“Cym and Jo were crying,” Alexander said in my ear. “Worried for you.”
“No more tears,” I said. “I’m perfectly fine, and now we’ll go home and have tea with Lizzie and tell her all about our adventure.”
“We were scared you were dead,” Cymbeline said. “In the snow like our mama.”
My poor babies, I thought. Of course that’s what they feared. “I had the rope and no intention of dying,” I said. “Do you know why? Because I can’t stand the thought of not coming home to you.”
Flynn shouted from the back. “I told them all you’d make it just fine. No one’s as tough or clever as you, Miss Quinn.”
Touched by his belief in me, I had to swallow a lump in my throat before I thanked him.
“Next time I want to come with you,” Flynn shouted.
We turned left out of town and had just rounded a thicket of trees when I saw a small figure slumped over a snowdrift. A cold shot of fear coursed through me. The motionless body was a little girl in a patchwork coat. Louisa. She’d been there a while, given the inches of snow that covered her. I yelled for Harley to stop.
“Look there. In the snow.” I pointed toward the unmoving body. “It’s Louisa.” Without thinking, I jumped from the sleigh and ran to her with Alexander on my heels.
I fell to my knees beside her. Curled in a ball with her hands under her cheeks, she looked peaceful and dreadfully still. Please God, let her still be alive. I lifted her arm and felt for a pulse at her wrist. Faint but there. “She has a pulse.” Her arms were as skinny as young birch tree limbs. Even in the dim light I could see the blue veins under her white skin.
“We’ll take her to our house,” Alexander said as he lifted her from the icy snowdrift. By this time, Harley had joined us, having asked Flynn to take his place in the driver’s seat. There was no need, however. Louisa couldn’t have weighed more than fifty pounds. She hung as limply as a rag doll in Alexander’s arms.
He positioned her inside, brushing snow from her coat and ratty knit cap. I tucked blankets around her. What had she been doing out in the snowstorm?
We sat on either side of her. Our warmth would help, I thought, as Harley took the reins from Flynn. �
�What was she doing out here?” I asked as Flynn settled back next to Li.
“She might’ve been going to town for food,” Alexander said.
The children were deathly quiet. Even Flynn looked scared. I wanted to reassure them that everything would be all right, but I wasn’t at all certain that was true.
We took Louisa upstairs to the spare bedroom across from mine. I asked Alexander to send Merry up to help. “I want to get her into some warm clothes and into this bed.”
“I’ll ask Josephine for a dressing gown for her,” Alexander said.
Merry came, and between the two of us we were able to get her out of her cold, wet clothes. Louisa’s eyes opened the moment we had her out of her dress and stockings. “Miss Cooper? Where am I?” She had only a thin slip on, and her skin was blue from cold.
“Hi, Louisa, you’re at the Barneses’ home. We found you in the snow.”
“I needed to find food.” She wrapped her skinny arms around her waist.
“Let’s run her a hot bath,” I said.
Merry sprang up and was out of the room before I even finished the sentence.
“A bath?” Louisa asked.
“Yes, warm water will feel good.”
“Warm water?” she asked, as if I were speaking another language.
“We’ll get you clean and fed, and then you can tell me what happened.”
I wrapped a blanket around her and took her across the hall to the steamy bathroom. As we helped her into the water, I saw skinny purple bruises on her lower back and buttocks. Bruises that could only come from a belt or a switch. They were in multiple shades of purple from different beatings. This poor child. She would not be going home to that bastard if it was the last thing I ever did.
With Merry on one side and me on the other, we gently scrubbed her skin and lathered her hair. I searched for nits in her fine white-blond hair, but found nothing. After a few minutes in the warm water, she stopped shivering. When we had her scrubbed properly, I helped her out of the tub and dried her with a soft towel.
The School Mistress (Emerson Pass Book 1) Page 23
