by Geoff Wolak
‘We could do that?’ Peck asked.
‘You could. But I think that a few days spent looking around our world, and none of your people will wish to go anywhere else.’
‘Pleasant, is it?’ Peck testily asked.
Henry hit a few buttons. ‘Computer: display image of New Kinshasa.’
Peck was startled as the image came to life all around him, his team bathed in the city’s outline. He looked down, and saw traffic on the streets, parks, the lake and the marina.’
‘That, Mister Peck, is the Congo, the heart of Africa. The rest is just as nice.’
After two minutes, Henry cut the image, just his head remaining. ‘It’s peaceful where we live; no shortages, little unemployment.’
‘Well, then I guess we just wait till you arrive,’ Peck noted. ‘Can we talk again using this?’
‘Any time. Just press the green button. Press “red” to end the call.’
‘Thank you, ambassador.’ Peck hit the red button. He gave the phone to an aide. ‘Hide that away in case they can listen in.’ Facing the group, he said, ‘They’ve taken that decision without consulting with us.’
‘We don’t want to unwind!’ a man barked, others echoing it. ‘All of our research here will have been for nothing!’
‘Our research here won’t matter over there, not to them,’ Peck insisted.
‘They may allow us to continue over there, or even help.’
‘That seems unlikely,’ Peck testily suggested. ‘Not in utopia-land. And we’ll discuss this at a full council meeting tomorrow.’ He walked off.
In our ambassador’s office, I commented, ‘Some dissent in the ranks.’
‘He’s the Chief Administrator,’ Henry began, ‘but it doesn’t seem that he wields absolute power, or even executive power.’
‘We’ll evacuate them whether they like it or not, knock-out gas used if necessary,’ I threatened. ‘And all other humans here.’
‘Is that programme … underway?’ Henry nudged.
‘Soon, once we know where they all are. They’re not in any immediate danger, and it’ll be difficult to round them all up; first sight of us and they’ll all run into the jungle. The first village we approached, in Kenya, shot at our people with bows and arrows then ran off. We had to sedate them and drag them back. A hundred villages in remote jungles will take a while, quite a while.’
The Preethan Ambassador turned up a day late, welcomed by our own ambassador practising a few words, then interpreted through Pleb. We all sat in on the meeting, food and drink offered to the newcomer and his two aides.
‘Thank you for your visit,’ I told the Preether.
‘Why have you come here?’ the man asked, and I was not sure about his meaning.
I began, ‘We have not visited for a long time…’
‘We find the bones of your people in many places.’
‘They … were like us, but are not us. They were our children as well, but not strong like us. We can travel to many places in the heavens, and we can travel to the past and the future.’
‘The others, the ancestors, fought a war and died,’ the ambassador floated.
‘Yes, they did, and they were fools for doing so,’ I stated. ‘On our world, we do not make war on each other, and all live in peace. Only our children – who do not live with us – make war.’
He seemed to understand. ‘What do you want of Preether?’
‘We wish to bring peace to this world, through talk.’
‘You give animals to Seether!’
‘And we will give animals to Preether,’ I insisted.
‘How many animals?’
‘As we did here, so shall we do for you – if you wish them.’
‘We wish them, but at what price?’
‘There is no price; it is a gift from us to you – our children. And after, we hope that we can talk, and have an embassy in your capital. May we have an embassy?’
‘I will talk with my government.’
‘Of course,’ I offered with my best diplomatic smile. ‘And we shall send the animals to a place near your capital.’
‘Capital now Denver,’ Pleb pointed out. ‘South.’
‘We shall send the animals to Denver. A ring of light will appear, and the animals will walk to this world from our world.’
The ambassador shrugged. ‘When?’
‘Tomorrow at dawn,’ I suggested.
He agreed to accept our gift, and would travel back tonight by aircraft.
‘Is air travel … dangerous for you?’ I ventured.
‘Yes, so go in night.’
‘Ah,’ I realised, facing my own ambassador. ‘No night fighters.’ Facing our guest, I said, ‘Please return with news of an embassy when you can.’ And our guest departed with little more said.
With the Preether gone, and Pleb out of the room, I said, ‘Given that we’re time travelling ancestors from another world, this lot are not too disturbed by us.’
‘Nor impressed,’ Henry added. ‘They seem to be in their own little worlds, without much of a comprehension beyond it.’
‘Strict government control,’ a man said. ‘That’s why. A lot of these people are told what to do, and what to think.’
‘Not much point in us appealing to the masses,’ I noted with a sigh.
‘It’ll take years to influence this lot,’ another man said.
‘Best get comfortable then,’ I quipped.
I sent a signal, and operation Pig Shit II was carried out at dawn the next day, in a field north of Denver. This time, the horses were sent through first, bolting and disappearing. They were followed by the sheep, which all ran for ten yards before stopping to graze, the field turning white. An hour passed before the first Preether, ambling along the nearest road, stopped to stare. By then, some five thousand unwilling sheep had been shoved through. The pigs followed, squealing as they were booted across the portal, five thousand piglets mixing with the sheep. None of the piglets tried to round up the sheep and corral them, I asked.
Finally, ten thousand chickens were nudged through, and by now the locals were starting to round up the animals, soldiers arriving in trucks. Seems that the army would be taking its share for the tired and hungry enlisted Preethan lad.
As the days ticked off the calendar I started to get used to my bed, linen brought through the portal for me, as well as extra supplies or soap and shampoo. A few days after operation Pig Shit II had been completed, several large boxes arrived at the embassy, along with several human builders, and my room benefited from having a few holes filled in, magnolia paint applied. By time they had finished my room looked like a cheap roadside hotel. Carpets arrived, a note from Jimmy suggesting that wintertime would be a bitch.
Our people checked out the boiler, and added a few modern features, starting with a layer of insulation - insulation for the pipes, and a safety valve – so that the damn thing would not explode. A carbon monoxide monitor was installed, and it already suggested that the boiler room was an unhealthy place to hang around in. An extractor fan was fitted.
Unknown to me, Henry was a bit of a gardener, and soon had potted roses, and a variety of seeds, delivered. I queried the cold climate here, but he insisted that the particular chosen strain of roses would survive. He planted and seeded several areas, the Seethan staff all very curious, and Henry cheekily transplanted many small shrubs that had been pinched from the roadside. We had been allocated a Seethan gardener, the man turning up most days, and Henry would duly instruct the man. A lawn was shaped, paths made, benches placed at intervals. On a fine day, people could sit around in comfort.
Pleasing me, but not really surprising me, was the fact that the Seethan staff started to use English words. ‘Morning, hello, OK,’ were soon being uttered. I then brightened their lives with a movie. I sat them all down, set the data-pad, and showed them Star Wars - the original, Pleb having already seen it.
Taking the film as being a documentary, rather than fiction, the Seether were sh
ocked, then shocked rigid, then terrified, then hopeful, then happy at the outcome. And, following the film, they were far more respectful towards us. The ambassador was not sure if he approved, so the next evening I showed them a documentary about farming in New Zealand, my audience silent in their study and appreciation. The film sparked a response, and the Agriculture Minister came around the next day, demanding to see the film. It was an odd reaction, so I sat his team down and left them to watch the two hour documentary, drink and food provided.
At the end, I asked, ‘All OK?’
‘Field left with no crop, use animals one season, better next season,’ the main said with a nod, and that was about all he said before he walked off.
‘You’re welcome,’ I shouted after him. I linked into to my world, and had the content of the documentary analysed.
A farming expert came back on, and said, ‘You just taught them how to leave a field bare for a season and get a better yield the following year. Works well in some climates, the animals droppings fertilizing the soil.’
‘Get me ten tonnes of our best fertilizer for this region, and send it through.’
A day later the fertilizer was delivered to the Seethan Agriculture Minister by Pleb, who explained that crops and stuff would be bigger if the grey power was spread around when it rained. At least I hope he did, and that he didn’t tell them to put it on their toast in the morning.
The Preethans were being slow in responding to our request, still no word, and the following evening I showed the keen Seethan staff a new documentary, this one about White Sharks. They were terrified, threatening never to go near a body of water ever again. But they did like the underwater scenes; it was in their DNA.
I slowly got used to my room, which now resembled a hotel room, but at least it smelt better. The springs on the bed had been fixed, so I made less noise when I turned over, and my window had been insulated with plastic to stop the drafts. I got a good nights rest.
Word then reached us that the Preethan Ambassador’s plane had crashed on landing after he had left us, that he was injured, and would visit in a week or two. Or whenever. I headed back to the portal and came home, asking that they contact me when the poor fellow finally turned up.
Babies, babies, babies
I returned home to find a house full of screaming kids, my human daughters and their own broods visiting, my own great grandchildren running around. Shelly sat with a Seethan baby, the baby asleep after a feed, a few human babies screaming and being comforted.
‘God, what happened?’ I asked.
‘You were born with a penis, dad,’ Shelly offered. ‘All this lot are your fault!’
I kissed Susan and hugged the others, remembering which wife was currently mine. ‘How are the little fishes?’
‘They crawl fast,’ Helen complained. ‘And we’ve taken to using nets to get them out of the pool. It’s easier to get them in than it is to get them out!’
‘We allowed in the press for a few hours,’ Susan explained. ‘And in the pool. Images are all over the worlds.’
‘How’s it going over there?’ Shelly asked me, gently rocking the bundle on her lap.
‘Slow,’ I emphasised. ‘They don’t want us mixing with the general population, and the Preethan Ambassador crashed his plane, so we’re waiting his return – or a replacement. Embassy is a little more habitable now; it was 1940s brick before. We delivered the animals - not so much as a thank you, and so far … that’s about it.’
‘Jimmy said it would take decades,’ Shelly reminded me.
I nodded. ‘They’re not too impressed by us; we’re hardly exalted ancestors and great beings to them. They get used to us very quickly.’
‘I’ve picked out two boys,’ Susan informed me.
‘Boys?’
‘To adopt.’
‘Ah. How are Sandra and Jesus?’
‘Jesus?’ Shelly repeated.
‘It’s … what I call him. Long story, don’t ask.’
‘They’re thinking of their own house,’ Susan broached. ‘They don’t wish to be a burden to us.’
‘Security will be an issue, for a while,’ I reminded everyone.
‘There are houses inside the research facility, one is available,’ Susan informed me. ‘They’ve had a look, and like it, and we’ve bought a large plastic paddling pool.’
‘How many kids will they take there?’ I asked.
‘Just four,’ Helen put in. ‘They’re happy for the rest to be adopted.’
‘How the hell could they raise sixteen!’ Shelly posed. ‘Imagine sixteen teenager daughters in the house.’
‘It was a nightmare with two!’ I quipped, getting a look.
‘The Russians will take three, as will the Chinese, and Gilchrist will take four,’ Susan informed me. ‘Their safety has been assured.’
‘Yeah, well by next year there’ll be two hundred of them with what Sandra and Jimmy have planned,’ I reminded the group.
Helen made eye contact with me as Lucy came in and sat, a great granddaughter of ours on her arm. Helen began, ‘I … haven’t informed the others … about Selemba.’
I eased back in my seat, Shelly now curious. I heaved a sigh. ‘Shelly, Lucy, this is secret – and private family stuff for now. Be careful what you repeat.’
‘What is it?’ Shelly pressed, Lucy all ears.
I glanced at Susan, and at the Seethan baby she now held, Selemba in her cot next door. ‘Before Helen and I met Jimmy, our … DNA was altered slightly by travellers.’
‘Before you met Jimmy?’ Shelly gasped. ‘How’s that possible?’
‘I don’t know … is the truth. We were altered so that … we would produce aquatic daughters.’
‘We … have altered DNA?’ Lucy asked.
‘Yes, but not by much,’ I informed them. ‘Selemba’s necklace … it’s … re-writing her DNA.’
‘Re-writing it?’ Shelly asked. ‘Why?’
‘When she grows up she’ll … look Seethan.’
‘Selemba … will look Seethan?’ Shelly repeated, shocked.
‘Yes, and … Jimmy thinks that Selemba herself sent the chain back to create a paradox.’
‘Why, for God’s sake?’ Shelly demanded.
‘To act as ambassador to the Seether, by … mating with them.’
‘Selemba … will mate with them?’ Lucy gasped.
‘Yes. Sandra and Jesus, they’re … her indirect offspring.’
‘My God,’ Shelly let out. ‘She has your blood, so with Seethan DNA she’ll … probably produce a thousand young a year!’
Helen put in, ‘I guess that’s the whole point. Her offspring will be immune to disease, strong, they’ll grow quickly, and be intelligent – hopefully.’
‘And pro-human, hopefully,’ I added. I faced Helen. ‘Could you bring Selemba in, please.’
When Helen reappeared, Selemba now awake, I grabbed a squawking Seethan bundle and placed them face to face. The Seethan stopped squawking, blinking its eyes towards Selemba. And my chubby lump, she gurgled and smiled.
‘Selemba, meet your great, great, great, grandchild,’ I offered, Shelly and Lucy still a bit stunned.
‘It’s a living paradox,’ Shelly began. ‘Right here, history in the making.’
The next day I accompanied Jesus to work, and checked out his new house. I ordered bullet-proof glass panels to be fitted to the windows, cameras and an alarm, just in case. The Trophy base was secure, but there was always the chance that someone might have issues with an alien living next door. At the factory, I called the senior guys together, Jesus off to his place of work.
‘Guys, how do the staff relate to Jesus?’
‘Jesus?’ they puzzled.
‘Your new Seethan employee, whose name I got wrong once and its stuck. Sorry. So, how do they relate to him?’
‘How’d you mean, boss?’
‘Does anyone around here have an issue with an alien around?’
‘Well, he’s not really alien, he�
��s ninety-nine percent human, boss.’
‘Yet looks alien, and comes from another world. So, how do they relate to him?’
‘For the most part, boss, they want to study him, poke and prod, but no one has any ill feeling towards him.’
‘No comments?’ I pressed.
‘If there were, the people responsible would be dealt with,’ the boss assured me.
‘Keep security around him tight, and plenty of time off for … mating.’
‘Mating? He just had sixteen kids, boss. Reckon the fella needs a rest.’ They laughed.
‘Jimmy wants our new employee to produce a few hundred offspring.’
‘A few … hundred? Hope you’re not going to build a giant crèche here, boss.’
‘No, they’ll be adopted by various governments.’
‘By … governments?’ they puzzled.
I picked fluff off my trousers. ‘There’s … something that you should now, that will leak soon. Seethans … can be frozen for deep space missions, and brought back without side effects.’
A chorus of whispers shot around the room.
‘Boss, are we … planning any deep space missions anytime soon?’
‘You’re smart people, you figure it out,’ I said before I left.
By time I had returned home, a manager had sent me a message: ‘Could we adopt some of the kids?’
I sat down and gave it some thought. I spoke to Sandra and Jesus that evening, and they knew the particular man making the request, happy with the proposed adoption. I picked out a little bundle, drove down at 7pm, and handed the man’s wife - who was childless - a Seethan baby. ‘Just feed them lots of fish, and raise as for a human child. They have the blood product, so they’re just about indestructible. And … have fun.’
I left a smiling dad and a stunned mother, and Gilchrist would now get just three, not four. I assigned a guard to the house - and to the child, just in case, and notified the local authorities.
When Jimmy popped in I told him what I had done. He just nodded. ‘Be hundreds of them soon enough, Sandra is pregnant.’
‘Already!’
He nodded. ‘They must be sharing the bath water again. Oh, we now have a stable portal in space. Well, kinda stable, for two minutes. They used it to launch a probe towards Mars, built by a bunch of college kids. It’s already sending back telemetry from Baldy’s world.’
