by Joe Haldeman
“Not unless you’re a bird. Crossroads in the middle of town, that’s County 2031. You might want to go north, to the left. Right would take you down to Yreka. I heard gunfire there and turned around.”
“But left goes up to the border.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to go that far.” He leaned close to the map, where he had his finger down. “Black dotted line here, that’s a fire road, gravel, won’t be marked. You follow it eight or ten mile, you get to the autoway, 241.”
“Which is where we took off from, this morning.” Paul studied it and pointed to where a blue line crossed 241. “That’s the river that goes by Funny Farm.” It was about an inch away. “What is that, fifty miles?”
“Forty, anyhow. Pretty hilly.”
“We have a lot of empty jugs,” I said. “Mind if we fill them up here?”
“Course,” she said. “You have food up at Funny Farm?”
“Eighty acres planted,” Roz said.
“Well, you can take some of ours to get there,” she said, “but you remember us, right? We might be knocking on your door one day.”
“We’ll remember,” Roz said. “I guess that’s the way of the world now.”
“The Lord helps them that helps themselves,” she said, staring at Roz. “But we are all His instruments.”
We emptied the plane wreck of everything that would be of value to us or our hosts. We pried out the executive folding bed from behind the cockpit for them; besides the water, they gave us a box of dehydrated emergency meals, enough to feed us all for several days. After that, I guess we’d have to shoot a deer or catch some fish. Germaine gave us some line; both Namir and Dustin knew something about fishing.
Paul insisted that I not help with the grave-digging, and I didn’t protest much. My palms were raw. Elza had snipped away the flaps of skin and dressed them with gauze.
I helped wrap Alba and Rico and Stack in blue NASA blankets, while the others used pick and shovel to carve holes out of the root-laced soil.
There was some grisly discussion of the riot gun and Alba’s thumb. For it to fire, it had to read her thumbprint on the pistol grip. We didn’t know whether the sensor would work without power. Namir studied it, though, and used a screwdriver and hex wrench to disable it. The thing would only fire single-shot, but how many shots would you need?
She had been Christian, so we improvised a cross marker and Germaine read from the Bible. Rico and Stack were atheists, but Roz quoted Buddha for them, for their journey.
Our own journey shouldn’t be long delayed, but we were all exhausted, and the sun was going down. Elza and Dustin, with their broken bones, got Germaine’s discarded bed. We gave Card the pallet Germaine had made for Dustin. Elza had managed to stitch up his head wound one-handed, with my help.
Card didn’t seem too badly hurt, but he hadn’t said two words, and he didn’t seem to follow conversations. Maybe he was dwelling on his other personalities, still as dead as Alba and Rico and Stack.
I took a cup of tea out to where he was sitting alone on the cabin porch. He didn’t respond when I set the tea down next to him.
“Almost too much to handle,” I said.
“Almost?” He made a ghastly smile, a grimace. “I thought that nothing I would ever do would be crazier than Mars. Maybe it wasn’t Mars, though—maybe it was you. I had a nice, quiet life until you came back into it. Now everything is completely fucked up and confusing and people are dying left and right!”
“Drink the tea, Card.”
“But it’s true! If you hadn’t stumbled on the Martians they’d still be hiding underground, and we wouldn’t have the Others fucking with every fucking thing.”
“They were right next door. If I hadn’t stumbled onto them, someone else would.”
“But someone else didn’t. You’re to blame for the whole fucking shooting match.”
It’s not as if I had never followed that line of reasoning myself. “So what do you suggest I do?”
He wiped away tears. “If you had a time machine, you could go back and kill yourself before it started.”
“Sure, that would work.”
“This might.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a revolver.
I jumped back. “Card!”
“Oh, don’t worry.” He put the muzzle of the gun to his temple and laughed. “Watch.” He pulled the trigger and it made a loud click.
“You should see your face.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say or do. He took out a box of bullets and fumbled six into the cylinder, dropping two but ignoring them. He put the gun back into his pocket and, tears streaming past a smile, started up the path toward the wreck and the graves.
For a couple of minutes I stood there on the edge, waiting for a single shot. Paul came out onto the porch.
“Where is your brother?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m not his keeper.”
13
About halfway through my second watch, I saw something curious. At first I thought it was a bright, slow meteor among all the streaking lights. But it didn’t go out. It shone steadily until I lost it in the trees to the north. An old satellite?
Card didn’t come back that night or the next morning. I told people he’d seemed depressed, but didn’t elaborate. Paul obviously knew there was something more to it, but didn’t press me.
When Paul woke up, I mentioned the light I’d seen in the sky.
“Wouldn’t be a satellite,” he said. “It was going south to north?”
“I’m sure of it.” It was in the Big Dipper when it disappeared in the trees.
“Can’t be an artificial satellite; they’re all long gone. Maybe an Earth-grazing asteroid; they can have eccentric orbits.” He explained about the plane of the ecliptic, and I sort of understood. “More likely, it’s something that belongs to the Others. Something rocks bounce off, or protected by a force like a floater’s pressor field.”
“That would work, up in orbit?”
“Who knows? No way to get up and find out.”
“Maybe it came from Mars,” I said. “If the Others didn’t take their power away.”
Elza was listening. “Or maybe it’s from Heaven. Baby Jesus finally decided to step in and help us out.”
“If Mars had power and could send a ship to Earth,” Paul said, “why would it be over here? They’d send it to Washington or London or someplace.”
“We’re here,” I said. “Martians.”
“But there’s no way for them to know that,” Elza said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with hoping.”
We waited until the sun cleared the mountains to the east. “Card knows where we’re going,” Namir said. “We mustn’t wait any longer.”
I wasn’t going to disagree, and after his scene at the wreck, I probably wasn’t alone in hoping we’d seen the last of him. And none of the others had last seen him down the barrel of a gun.
We still had the NASA mail cart, though it wasn’t very efficient on gravel. We had to cull through the books, leaving half of them with the Lerners. The ones we kept leaned heavily toward children’s books and general references like the Britannica set.
In exchange for all the books, they gave us one of the shovels, a folding campers’ model called an entrenching tool. I hoped we wouldn’t need it.
We did carry all the ammunition, and enough weapons so everyone had at least one. Namir carried the riot gun and a pistol. Elza, with only one arm functional, carried the other pistol and two bandoliers of machine-gun ammunition for Paul’s weapon. I had an assault rifle and a machete.
I hoped we looked too dangerous to attack. More dangerous than I felt. Besides the rifle strapped across my back and the machete bumping my leg, I had two gallons of water hanging front and back, and the encyclopedia from CAM to FRA, three volumes, in a cloth bag under my right arm. From CAMera to FRATERNITY I couldn’t be beaten, though in a gunfight I might be a little slow.
The cart made nois
e, crunching through the gravel, and it really took two people to haul it along efficiently. So we wound up moving it in shifts: two of us would stay with it, along with another guard, while the other three, plus Germaine, moved quietly forward. They would signal when the coast was clear, and we’d drag the load up to join them. Then switch teams, Germaine always in front, in case we met neighbors.
It actually wasn’t too inefficient, with everybody resting half the time and moving pretty fast otherwise.
We picked up speed when we reached the T and turned into a paved road. We made steady progress for about an hour, and then ran into people.
We saw each other from a long way off. They stopped and waited for us, nervous, outnumbered and outgunned.
Two men, two women, and a baby. One of the men was old and the other looked worse than Mr. Lerner, radiation burns on both bare arms and face. Haggard and ill-looking.
Paul spoke to them as we approached. “Hello. You were caught on the border?”
The older man was leaning on a rifle, perhaps trying to look casual. “The boy here was. He drove home, but now the car doesn’t work.”
“Where you headed?”
“Yreka. Place in Holstock said they didn’t have anything for radiation.”
“Going the long way,” Germaine said.
“They told us not to take 2031. You’d best not, either. Some gangers got the road blocked.” Good thing we were headed the other way.
“Goddamn Crips,” Germaine said. “Think they own the road.”
“Huh uh,” the young man said. “This is a car gang. If it was Crips I could walk through.” He pulled up his T-shirt to reveal an elaborate dragon tattoo on his chest.
That must have meant something to Germaine. She nodded. “No radiation meds in Holstock?”
“Sent us to Yreka.”
“I’ll come along, you don’t mind. My old man got burned, too.”
“I know you,” the man with the rifle said to me. “You’re that woman from Mars.”
I almost said yeah, people say I look like her, but the NASA clothes were kind of conspicuous.
“Does us a lot of good,” Paul said, facing the man.
He nodded slowly, perhaps taking in Paul’s munitions. “Sure, come on along,” he said to Germaine.
“Good luck getting home,” she said to Roz, and gave me a confused look. Woman from Mars? They walked away slowly, not looking back.
It took another hour and a half to get into Holstock. We encountered two other small groups, though others may have watched from hiding. Those two saw us and ran into the woods.
The residential area of the town was a few blocks of individual homes mixed with condos, along with hotels and guest houses. The commercial part of town began abruptly, stores with a curious uniformity of design and apparent age. Germaine said that was because about a generation ago, most of the town was consumed in a runaway forest fire.
There was a short line, five people, waiting outside the care center; six more on chairs inside. A nurse came out with a piece of paper taped to an otherwise useless notebook. She was a pretty girl in a white uniform, brightly clean, bisected by a thick belt holding up a heavy pistol in a low-slung holster.
She was not surprised that we didn’t have any California dollars, and accepted a box of dehydrated rice and Thai chicken as “symbolic down payment.” Roz signed a two-paragraph document that said, essentially, that she would pay after things settled down. There were dozens of signatures on the front and back of the sheet of paper.
I had a feeling that a blank sheet of paper was soon going to be worth more than one printed with a picture of Ronald Reagan in a cowboy hat.
Roz got into line, and we settled in for a leisurely lunch of crunchy chow mein. There was no way to boil water without breaking up furniture for a fire, and the food wouldn’t completely soften with cold water. But if you didn’t know where it came from, you might take it for some new exotic oriental dish.
There was a kind of flea market set up on the lawn outside the hospital, three folding tables covered with things of some or no value. An exquisite pearl-and-diamond necklace next to an almost-full box of .22 ammunition; the ammo worth more than the jewelry.
Elza traded a good Eterna writing stick for an odd kitchen implement—three small hourglasses mounted together, timing out three, four, and five minutes. A useful timepiece for standing guard watches.
After about an hour, the nurse came back and collected Elza; they were seeing patients in order of the severity of their problems. When she returned she was wearing a clear plastic cast and a dazed expression, still buzzing with painkillers. She claimed she was ready to move on, but agreed to rest in the shade until her eyes uncrossed.
They put on a stretchy sling that held Dustin’s left arm against his chest, and went under the other arm in a kind of figure eight. It reduced the pain from the broken collarbone but restricted his movements. Roz’s rib wasn’t broken, just a big bruise, and I was only worth a few dabs of antiseptic and plastiflesh. Felt funny on the inside of my lips.
If I’d been sitting two rows back, the tree that killed Stack would’ve hit me. Mother always said I was born lucky.
We still had a few hours of light, so chose not to spend the night in Holstock. There were plenty of empty houses, and no reason not to commandeer one, except that word would get around. Our weapons and ammunition were our only defense, but they were also a concentration of the only kind of wealth that had meaning in some circles.
We got all our gear together and started off going north on 2031, keeping an eye out for the gravel “fire road” that Mr. Lerner had described. It would only be a few miles, and Paul and Namir agreed that it would be better to spend the night on guard hidden out in the woods, as we had night before last, than be exposed on the side of the abandoned autoway.
I wasn’t so sure. Nobody could sneak up on us if we were out in the open. Of course, my judgment might have been affected by fatigue. I was tired of playing soldier and water boy. I wanted to find a piece of shade and collapse into it.
It was only about an hour, though, before we found the gravel road that plunged into the forest to the left. We followed it for a few hundred yards uphill and made camp before it started to go downhill again.
We settled in for the night in a little clearing that wasn’t visible from the fire road, leaving one person on guard by the road.
I had the fourth watch, roughly two till four. Staying awake was no trouble; some animal kept moving around somewhere out of sight.
Elza’s timer was easy to see in the moonglow. I counted out twenty-four five-minute turns and went to wake Dustin. The creature had stopped making noise, so I slept easily on my bed of fragrant branches, next to Paul but not touching. I could have used some contact, but he was sleeping soundly.
I woke to an unpleasant surprise: we had company. Spy, squatting at the base of a tree like an unholy white Buddha. His clothing was seamless, as if he had been dipped in plastic.
Elza had stood the last watch. She didn’t know when he had appeared; hadn’t said anything to him.
He stared at me with silent intensity. “So how long have you been here?”
“What makes you think I ever left?” He stood and brushed himself off. “The Others asked me to show myself.”
“Why?”
“They don’t explain why they do things. Maybe they wanted to introduce an irritant.”
Paul came up beside me. “Jesus. And no coffee.”
“Here.” Spy made a small motion with one hand, and two white china mugs appeared at our feet, steaming, aromatic.
Paul picked one up. “This isn’t real.”
“Try it.”
The mug was solid, hot. The coffee tasted good.
“I know it looks and feels real.”
A cup appeared in Spy’s hand and he sipped. “But you can’t make something out of nothing?”
“That’s part of it.”
“Do you know the story about t
he primitive savages who were shown their first movie? Twentieth century, film image projected on a screen.”
“Enlighten me.”
“They looked behind the screen, and there was nothing there. Subsequently, the image disappeared to them. Because it wasn’t real.”
“Is that true?” I said.
He smiled. “I read it in a book.”
I heard Roz come up behind me.
“Hello,” she said. “What the hell are you?”
“Hello, Roz. Think of me as a translator between you and the Others. We decided to call me Spy.”
“So what is your real name?”
“I don’t need a name. There’s only one of me.”
She sighed. “Is that coffee?”
Spy eventually conjured a cup of coffee for everyone who wanted it, and afterward sent all the cups back to wherever they’d come from. We had to come up with our own breakfast, though, adding water to boxes of scrambled eggs and refried beans. They heated up nicely but tasted a little plastic.
“It would be a friendly gesture,” Namir said to Spy, “if you agreed not to travel with us.”
“Wouldn’t it?” Spy agreed. “But I have my orders, so to speak.”
Paul pointed the riot gun in his direction. “I could blow you to pieces, and then chop up the pieces with the machete. But I guess that would be a waste of ammunition.”
“I don’t know. You’re welcome to try.”
He looked like he was considering it. “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
It was a storybook-beautiful morning, walking through the waking forest, but the gravel was starting to bother my feet. Get some sturdy walking shoes the next time we came to a store.
Spy walked in front with Paul, who didn’t say anything to him. I went up the line to ask Paul a question, but forgot it instantly. Three men stepped out of hiding with guns leveled. “Drop it!” one said to Namir, and then pointed his gun at me.
Paul carefully set down his weapon, and I did the same. I remembered him clipping a holster with one of the pistols under his shirt at the small of his back, but didn’t know whether it was still there. Everybody else put their guns down.
