We left the bar and went down Santa Fe toward Ayacucho. Walking calmly through the night, we paused a moment to look at the display window of the Ateneo bookshop, and Renzi took advantage of the pause to go back to critiquing the state of the world, using the books exhibited in the glass as a pretext. They’re the same insubstantial books from the same idiotic authors who only write so that their books will be exhibited in the windows of bookshops around the world. You know, at this very moment in London or Paris or New York, the same horrible covers of the same insubstantial books are being exhibited. And the same authors, the photographs with the faces of the same idiots can be seen at this very moment in all of the airports, supermarkets, chains of bookstores and newspaper stands. And he became furious, repeating the names of all those despised writers as though it were a litany.
He took me by the arm and literally dragged me away from the place because he suddenly feared that someone would recognize him and see him standing outside a bookshop as though checking to make sure his own books and his own face were being exhibited, and they might think his anger was due to the fact that none of his books were there on display, not even as a joke, he said. Therefore, we walked at a lively pace to get away from the lights of the sidewalk next to the business, as he said, and even though he moved with some difficulty, a slight limp impeding his movement, we still turned, quickly, down Ayacucho toward Marcelo T, as he would say, in disdainful reference to the street where his study was.
That is why I am transcribing my diaries, because I want people to know that even now, at seventy-three years of age, I still think in the same way, criticizing the same things that I criticized when I was twenty. Now I am surrounded by converts who change their minds with every season to adapt to the common general mood. They have abandoned their convictions and their libraries again and again, while I remain faithful to my ideas. By reading my notebooks—if I publish them—they will be able to know, or to guess, or to imagine what my life has been. I already have close to nine hundred pages copied into a file on the computer, and we, the Thracian woman and I, have made several backup copies. Several, he repeated excitedly, on different pen drives, what can only be opened by entering a password. Even María advised me to send my diaries to what she called “the cloud,” a virtual space, in the air or in the atmosphere, where you can send what you write and leave it there and take it down when you want, but I refused, of course, because I was horrified by the idea that some idle navigator might infiltrate my place in the cloud and dedicate himself to reading the true story of my life.
We are copying them without following a chronological order; I move through time, as I have already said; for me, they are the mechanism of time. They are, he said, and paused in the door of a Chinese or Korean supermarket, and he would later say, when recording, in his diary, our conversation at the bar, El Cervatillo, and then in Filippo: I am studying the behavior of Chinese or Korean supermarket workers. Today, I confirmed, as I paused angrily in the doorway of the business, that the cashier, a very short Asian woman, listened to what I was saying with great attention. So, I have to be careful, he wrote in his notebook a few hours later, about what I say out loud when I go to buy a bottle of wine at the little market. They are, he repeated, returning to the present time of the conversation, they are now, for me, the mechanism of time. I move from one period to another, by chance; I keep the notebooks stored in cardboard boxes, without any hint of dates or locations. And so, he said, I open a box blindly, as you might say, and sometimes I am back in the distant past. Nineteen fifty-eight, for example, let’s say, and a while later I am reading about what I did last year, in two thousand and fourteen. At one point, he had decided to go traverse a day in his life, any day, let’s say the June 16, and see what happened on that day, year after year. It had been a scheme, attempting to organize his life based on an order that was not chronological.
By then, we had left the Chinese supermarket behind, and, after turning down Charcas (ex-Charcas, as he would sometimes say, obstinately), we crossed, always with a determined but slow pace, the eighty meters separating us from the building where Emilio spent the majority of his time. He made me go up and accompany him to the tenth floor, where his apartment was. In the elevator, he started explaining to me why he wanted me to come with him; he wanted to show me, he said, if I can find it, he added, the second part of his future autobiography. He was going to publish the first part of his diaries now, based on what was written in his notebooks from 1957, when he started, until 1967, when he published his first book and when his grandfather Emilio’s death was looming. He looked at me in the mirror and explained that he thought it would be the second part of his self-published diaries. “By me,” he said. “The happy years of my life, which go from nineteen sixty-eight to nineteen seventy-five, seven years,” he said. “A magic number. There are many stories within those notebooks.” He stopped. “You’ll see how they go.” He made a sign and looked at me. “It will continue,” he said, as we got off the elevator. “The story will continue,” he said, and paused. He searched for a silver key on the key chain that hung at his waist, and, after a few attempts, managed to insert it into the lock. “If I don’t die first,” he added, smiling, as though announcing some news that filled him with happiness, and opened the door.
Glossary of Notable Figures
Alem, Leandro (1842–1896)
Argentine politician who served as National Deputy and as a senator, later founding the Republican Party in Argentina.
Alterio, Héctor (1929–)
Argentine theater and film actor, known for a prolific career in both Argentina and Spain.
Álvarez, Jorge (1932–2015)
Argentine book publisher and record producer, a key figure in promoting literature in Argentina in the 1960s and ’70s.
Amado, Jorge (1912–2001)
Brazilian writer associated with modernism, whose novels were praised by such pivotal writers as Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre.
Amaru, Túpac II (1738–1781)
Leader of an indigenous uprising in Peru against the Spanish colonial authorities, named after the last indigenous Inca monarch.
Anderson-Imbert, Enrique (1910–2000)
Argentine literary critic, novelist, and short-story writer, known for short fantastical stories, who became a professor of literature at Harvard University.
Aricó, José “Pancho” (1931–1991)
Argentine writer and socialist philosopher, influenced by the Italian theorist Antonio Gramsci.
Arlt, Roberto (1900–1942)
Argentine writer of novels, short stories, and plays, whose use of brutality and colloquial language proved a major influence on the 1960s Latin American “Boom” generation.
Asquini, Pedro (1918–2003)
Argentine theater actor, director, producer, and teacher who worked for Argentina’s National Endowment for the Arts.
Astrada, Carlos (1894–1970)
Argentine philosopher and university professor who studied in Germany under Max Scheler and Martin Heidegger.
Battista, Vicente (1940–)
Argentine writer, translator, and screenwriter, honored with the 1995 Premio Planeta.
Bayley, Edgar (1919–1990)
Argentine poet, translator and essayist, considered a major figure in avant-garde poetry.
Barba, Enrique (1909–1988)
Argentine historian who served as director of the Historical Archive of Buenos Aires Province and the National Archive of Argentina.
Baroja, Pío (1872–1956)
Spanish writer and one of the leaders of the Generation of ’98, an important influence on Ernest Hemingway.
Benedetti, Mario (1920–2009)
Uruguayan novelist, poet, and journalist, a major figure in Latin American literature and one of the leading writers from the Generation of ’45.
Benedetto, Antonio di (1922–1986)
Argentine short-story writer and novelist, best known for the existential novel Zama
.
Benítez-Rojo, Antonio (1931–2005)
Cuban novelist, short-story writer, and essayist, considered a major figure in Cuban literature.
Bioy Casares, Adolfo (1914–1999)
Argentine author, journalist, and translator, a friend of Jorge Luis Borges, best known for his fantastical novel The Invention of Morel.
Blomberg, Héctor (1889–1955)
Argentine poet, playwright, and journalist, known for co-writing a number of famous songs with guitarist Enrique Maciel.
Boero, Alejandra (1918–2006)
Argentine stage and film actress, winner of the Konex and Molière awards.
Borges, Jorge Luis (1899–1986)
Argentine writer of short stories, translator, poet, and essayist, considered one of the most influential figures in Spanish-language literature of the twentieth century.
Bosch, Beatriz (1911–2013)
Argentine historian and geographer, mainly specializing in the political history of Argentina and the province of Entre Ríos.
Briante, Miguel (1944–1995)
Argentine author, screenwriter, and journalist who wrote for a number of magazines including Primera Plana.
Briski, Norman (1938–)
Argentine stage and film actor, director, and playwright, known for work in such plays as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
Cabrera Infante, Guillermo (1929–2005)
Cuban novelist, essayist, critic, and translator, compared to James Joyce for his literary experimentation.
Cambaceres, Eugenio (1843–1888)
Argentine politician and novelist, best remembered for the novel Sin Rumbo.
Cancela, Arturo (1892–1957)
Argentine critic and novelist, known for humorous works and portraits of life in Buenos Aires.
Canclini, Néstor García (1939–)
Argentine anthropologist and academic, known for his theories of hybrid cultures.
Carpentier, Alejo (1904–1980)
Swiss-born Cuban writer, essayist, and musicologist, best known for his novels, often dealing with the subject of Afro-Cubanism.
Castillo, Abelardo (1935–2017)
Argentine writer and essayist, regarded as one of the best novelists of his generation.
Castillo, Alberto (1914–2002)
Argentine film actor and performer, known for recordings of popular tangos.
Cedrón, Tata (1939–)
Argentine guitarist and composer, best known as a tango performer and for musicalized versions of literary works.
Cernuda, Luis (1902–1963)
Spanish poet from the Generation of ’27, exiled to the United Kingdom and then Mexico due to the political climate after the Spanish Civil War.
Costantini, Humberto (1924–1987)
Argentine writer and poet, the son of Italian Jewish immigrants, who was an active member of the political left.
Conti, Haroldo (1925–1976)
Argentine screenwriter, novelist and professor of Latin who disappeared during the military dictatorship.
Corsini, Ignacio (1891–1967)
Italian-born Argentine musician, vocalist, and lyricist, known for folk music, tangos, and waltzes.
Cortázar, Julio (1914–1984)
Belgian-born Argentine short-story writer, novelist, and translator, known for his innovative novel Hopscotch and Spanish versions of Edgar Allan Poe.
Cossa, Roberto “Tito” (1934–)
Argentine playwright, considered one of the most important figures of his generation in theater.
Cozarinsky, Edgardo (1939–)
Argentine writer, essayist, and film director, known for mixing elements of personal reflection and documentary.
Cuzzani, Agustín (1924–1987)
Argentine playwright, a critic of capitalism, known for combining satire and farce in his plays.
Di Paola, Jorge “Dipi” (1940–2007)
Argentine novelist and short-story writer, a disciple of Witold Gombrowicz.
Droguett, Carlos (1912–1996)
Chilean novelist and short-story writer who escaped to Switzerland to avoid Pinochet’s military dictatorship.
Escari, Raúl (1944–2016)
Argentine writer and avant-garde intellectual who studied in Paris under Roland Barthes.
Favio, Leonardo (1938–2012)
Argentine actor, director, screenwriter, and singer, appointed Argentina’s Ambassador of Culture near the end of his life.
Fernández, Macedonio (1874–1952)
Argentine short-story writer, novelist, poet, and journalist who mentored and influenced Jorge Luis Borges.
Fernández Moreno, César (1919–1985)
Argentine poet, writer, critic, and diplomat who founded important publications including the literary magazine Contrapunto.
Ferreti, Aurelio (1907–1963)
Argentine playwright, particularly known for farces and satirical works.
Franco, Luis (1898–1988)
Argentine poet and essayist who founded a socialist party in Argentina and remained outside of the literary establishment of Buenos Aires.
Frondizi, Arturo (1908–1995)
Argentine lawyer and politician who served as President of Argentina from 1958 to 1962, following the coup that overthrew Perón.
Frondizi, Silvio (1907–1974)
Argentine lawyer and leftist intellectual, brother of president Arturo Frondizi, who taught as a professor of law in Buenos Aires, Tucumán, and La Plata.
Fuentes, Carlos (1928–2012)
Mexican novelist, essayist, and short-story writer, considered one of Mexico’s greatest writers.
Galli Mainini, Carlos (1914–1961)
Argentine doctor, known for creating a reliable pregnancy test involving a frog.
Gálvez, Juan (1916–1963)
Argentine race car driver who won more than 50 races before being killed in an accident.
Gandini, Gerardo (1936–2013)
Argentine composer, professor, and pianist, known for performing with Astor Piazzolla.
Garay, Juan de (1528–1583)
Spanish conquistador who founded the permanent settlement of Buenos Aires in 1580.
García, Germán (1944–)
Argentine novelist, essayist, and psychoanalyst, founder of the Fundación Descartes.
García Márquez, Gabriel (1927–2014)
Colombian novelist, short-story writer, and journalist, awarded the 1982 Nobel Prize in Literature, best known for the novel One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Gardel, Carlos (1890–1935)
French-born Argentine singer, composer, and actor, one of the most famous tango performers of all time.
Gasalla, Antonio (1941–)
Argentine actor, comedian, and director, known for roles portraying female characters.
Gelman, Juan (1930–2014)
Argentine poet, awarded the Cervantes Prize, whose work was influenced by the political turmoil in Latin America.
Girri, Alberto (1919–1991)
Argentine poet and intellectual, known for translating major English-language poets including T. S. Eliot and Wallace Stevens into Spanish.
Gombrowicz, Witold (1904–1969)
Polish writer exiled to Argentina during and after the Second World War, known for his extensive diaries.
Goytisolo, Juan (1931–2017)
Spanish novelist, essayist, and poet, known for works opposing Francisco Franco and Spain’s nationalism.
Grippo, Víctor (1936–2002)
Argentine painter and sculptor, recognized as one of the first conceptual artists in Argentina.
Groussac, Paul (1848–1929)
French-born Argentine writer, librarian, critic, and historian known as a significant influence on Jorge Luis Borges.
Güemes, Martín Miguel de (1785–1821)
Argentine military leader who fought against Spain in the Argentine War of Independence.
Guido, Beatriz (1924–1988)
Argen
tine short-story writer, novelist and screenwriter, an outspoken critic of Perón’s government.
Guillén, Jorge (1893–1984)
Spanish poet, scholar, and critic, a central figure in the Generation of ’27 and recipient of the Cervantes Prize.
Güiraldes, Ricardo (1886–1927)
Argentine poet and novelist, best remembered for the 1926 novel Don Segundo Sombra, examining the figure of the gaucho.
Hernández, Felisberto (1902–1964)
Uruguayan writer, known as a major influence on writers such as Gabriel García Márquez and Italo Calvino.
Jacoby, Roberto (1944–)
Argentine sociologist and artist, known for creating some of the first conceptual art exhibitions.
Jitrik, Noé (1928–)
Argentine writer, considered one of the most prominent literary critics in Latin America.
Juarroz, Roberto (1925–1995)
Argentine poet, admired by contemporaries including Octavio Paz and known for a body of work he called “vertical poetry.”
The Diaries of Emilio Renzi- Formative Years Page 44
