but it wasn't serious. In the end, he survived. Now, he wanted to be dead, but there was no battle to die in honour. There was even no real, probable perspective for a battle. There were only chances for living the sad, miserable life with no goal.
When he didn't have flashbacks, in the rare moments of consciousness, he saw two unknown people, a man and a woman, he couldn't recognize at first. The man was a Roman soldier, one of Appius's legionnaires. Marcus Lucius knew Appius from the time, when he joined the army. He was 15 and couldn't wait to move out from the house of his mother. She was mourning for too long, after Marcus Lucius's father was killed in a battle. Marcus Lucius thought he could escape the mourning by joining the army, but it was even worse there in the beginning. Every tribune knew that Marcus Lucius was the one and only son of the great warrior Maximus. Marcus Lucius had the impression that everyone looked at him and waited for such brave, outstanding and wise actions like he would expect from his father. Every day he had to prove that he was someone else. However, the longer he was a soldier, and the harder he tried to prove it, the often he had to hear he was exactly Maximus's own flesh and blood. He was not only looking similarly to his father. Everyone who knew Maximus and who saw Marcus Lucius's behaviour easily noticed that Marcus Lucius developed the rare skill to stay focussed within the tunnel vision. Usually, every soldier was able to develop the skill to concentrate on a constricted circular tunnel-like field of vision while ignoring the peripheral vision. In a fight, these soldiers perceived a surge of anger, an increasing amount of testosterone and fight club feeling, to be able to ignore the surrounding. In such a situation, they could be attacked easily by anyone from the array of sight beyond the tunnel vision.
Not every man was able to focus on the enemy without retention of central vision. Marcus Lucius, like his father, didn't lose the general view while focussing on a limited space of sight. He was able to not only be aware of the direct enemy, but also of the fighters and movements around him. It was not easy and it took a very high amount of strength. However, seeing the similarity between father and son was incredibly frustrating to Marcus Lucius. It made him feel being predefined again and again. Therefore, he started ignoring these remarks. It wasn't genuine, but became possible after a long, demanding period of getting used to it.
As far as he remembered, his father was a tall, well-built man with dark hair and perfect manner. He always knew what to say or how to act. He always had an excellent, suitable advice at hand and he could rely on every soldier that knew him. He was welcomed everywhere. He had no enemies and everybody treated him with the same respect and friendship: whether ordinary legionnaires, tribunes, legates or any other person he met on his way. Marcus Lucius's mother was always proud to entertain guests coming to their house on a hill outside of Rome. From here, she could overlook the most important city of the time. When the time for mourning was over and all guests had spoken their condolences, the real emptiness took over every free space in the house.
Marcus Lucius barely knew his father. There weren't many opportunities to spend time together, even if they lived in one place for a year. Once, Marcus Lucius was taken to Britannia by his father. It was a long, fascinating journey with many short, but remarkable memories. Marcus Lucius saw snow for the very first time in his life. The surrounding had another shadow of green and the sky was mostly clouded. Even the blue sky looked different there. He loved the rain and the sun. He loved the free spaces there. He was ten years old, had two months of fascinating journey between Rome and Britannia behind, and he had to work like a real legionnaire. His father gave him to the regular temp full of soldiers and send for him just every now and then. Maximus didn't visibly intervene in the daily routine of his son and relied on the supervision of his friends. One of them was Appius, a tall, slim and bony man with shrill tone, when he was unsatisfied. He threw comments, orders and straight looks. He was hard, but fair. His advices were always adjusted, even if communicated in a brutal, direct, short way. Appius reminded Marcus Lucius on slave driver. Appius used to scream every now and then, because his look said more than thousand words. Marcus Lucius tried as hard as he could not to attract negative attention. It was quite hard to move the heavy sword properly, but every further day of training made it easier to handle to weapon. Mostly, he was good, but just good enough for his age. Compared to other legionnaires, he was simply too young. A ten years old boy couldn't really contest with trained 20 years old ones. They were bigger, stronger and they have been training since years. Already during the first day, he had to sweep the stakes, even if he tried to deal blows as well. He lost every combat during the first training, but he always stood up and was ready to fight further. He had so many bruises and some wounds, but it didn't matter. He stood heavily breathing and looking patiently and respectfully around.
-You're a brave little man. - said Appius when he came closer to him. - You're a brave little man.
Marcus Lucius didn't feel proudly or satisfied. He lost every battle and he wanted his revenge. Suddenly, his father appeared behind him and Marcus Lucius heard how Appius welcomed Maximus in the training camp. You just simply knew that Maximus was around, because his charisma was in the air.
-You can be proud of your little boy. He doesn't lose the overview in the hardest situations and he acts with honour. I never have seen such a spirit in such a small body.
Maximus laughed and slapped his son on the back. Only then, Marcus Lucius felt better.
While returning to the tent, where the soldiers were sleeping, Marcus Lucius didn't expect his father talking with him. However, Maximus didn't keep silence. He walked proudly, made big, self-conscious steps, and talked with his engaging, manly voice:
-Stay focussed. Don't let anyone or anything distract you. You fought well, even if you lost. You can learn more from one lose than from thousand victories. You have to stay focussed more next time.
Marcus Lucius nodded with understanding and enjoyed the short personal contact to his father. Some days later, his father appeared again at the end of the training and slapped him friendly on the back.
-Stay focussed, my boy. - He repeated and Marcus Lucius was sure that he won't hear anything else from his father.
-How do you do it? - He asked then and Maximus laughed with joy.
-That's a good question. - He said. - Life never asks us whether we are prepared or not, whether we're old enough or not. You have to stay focussed on what you want to achieve and keep going in this direction. You should notice the surrounding to analyse the risk or danger coming towards you, but you can't lose the goal in front of your eyes. Stay watchful. Stay focussed. Dare to do what you want.
-So why do I have to be prepared, if life brings surprises then?
Maximus laughed even louder.
-Nobody can seriously promise you that you can be prepared for everything, but being prepared for different things makes it easier to build-up a strategy for surprising situations. You need some basics for being able to estimate the situation, the related risk and the related win.
The stay in Britannia for a year was combined with such rare, but serious and friendly talks. They didn't happen as often as Marcus Lucius wished, but he appreciated every advice from his father. First thanked to the time spent in Britannia, Marcus Lucius discovered why his father was so popular, respected and well-known. Already his presence made the moment more important. Even if he gave advices, it didn't sound so brutal like in the case of Appius. Even if he gave criticism, it didn't sound patronizingly. Marcus Lucius didn't dare to wish being like his father.
Marcus Lucius never had any temptations to be promoted. His father was already quite high in the army structure. Maximus was legati, a legion commander, who also controlled the auxiliary regiments attached to their legion, headed the civil administration and had to report directly to the emperor in Rome. He was one of the youngest in such a crucial post, but he had enough experience and backup from the legions behind him. They loved their empire with the incomprehensible, undefined,
but noticeable power of Rome: Rome, the endless, powerful city and unlimited, successful state. The name of their capital was expressed with love due to the anagram for amor. Rome was worth fighting for.
Marcus Lucius preferred to stay on his post as a legionnaire. Once, he asked his father about being such an important commander and Maximus thought about it for a while, before answering the question.
-It's not easy, my son, and it's a great responsibility. The further you go, the more enemies you have.
-Enemies? - Marcus Lucius was surprised, because he never saw a person acting unfriendly towards his father.
-Oh yes, enemies. They watch your every step, they analyse your weaknesses and smile politely in front of you. Still, you have to stay focussed and know whom to trust in hard times.
-How do you know who is your friend and who's not, then? - Marcus Lucius was curious.
-Sometimes, it's easy, and sometimes, it's not. You have to get trust in soldiers, when you fight with them on your side, because you need someone to rely
Vengeance & Remission (Introduction) Page 2
