Feels like Home (Lake Fisher Book 2)

by Tammy Falkner

  “Okay, Bess,” he says, and he grins at me.

  I pick up a damp towel that I’ve been using to wipe my hands and throw it at his face. He catches it and lays it on the counter next to him, and then he digs back into the bowl.

  “You’re not going to want dinner,” I warn.

  He glances at his watch. “What time are we going up to the big house?”

  “Katie said six o’clock.”

  “Do I have time to shower?” He looks at his watch again. “Are you almost done with that?” He points to the second bowl of potato salad I’m still working on.

  “Almost. Why?”

  He reaches over and turns the music up loud again, and then he kisses my cheek, lingering just a beat too long, grins at me, winks, and goes to shower.

  My heart thuds in my chest as I watch him walk away.

  When I met Eli, he was a lanky boy of sixteen. It seemed like his arms and legs were too long for his body, and he tended to trip over his own size fourteen shoes way back then. Through the years he has grown into his body to the point where women notice him in the street. He’s tall, still thin but not skinny, and the pepper at his dark temples has been replaced with salt. He doesn’t have that lock of hair that used to fall in front of his eyes anymore, mainly because his hair is thinning. But to me…

  God, to me he is still the most handsome man I’ve ever met. I watch him walk away, his gait full of confidence where once it was hurried and unsure. He’s not the same boy I knew way back then, but at the same time he is.

  I’m not the same person either and that is the part that scares me the most. I haven’t liked who I am for quite some time. Can I really expect Eli to like me?

  I finish the potato salad, top it with some cling wrap, and turn the music down just as Eli walks back into the kitchen. He’s wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt, and my eyes roam up and down his body. I can still remember the lines of his torso, and the mole just below his left nipple.

  “Stop it,” he says crisply.

  “Stop what?”

  “You’re undressing me with your eyes,” he says, a fake warning in his gaze. He makes a vee with his fingers and points to his eyes. “My eyes are up here!” He pretends to pout, which makes me bark out a laugh. “What?” he asks. “What’s so funny?” He stalks toward me and pulls me against him, his fingers digging gently into my sides as he tickles me. I laugh and squirm to get out of his grip. “You think this is funny, huh?” He tickles me until I go slack in his arms, and then he just holds me.

  I look up into his handsome face and smile.

  “I like you,” he whispers, his voice no more substantial than a wispy cloud in the sky, and just as intangible.

  I cough to clear my throat. “I like you too.”

  He kisses the tip of my nose. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” I pass the bowl to him and slide into my flip-flops. “I’m ready.” He reaches for another beer, opens it with the opener on the side of the counter, and we start walking up to Jake and Katie’s together.

  “Hey, what did your boss say?” he suddenly asks.

  I smile. “He said I should take all the time I need to get my family stuff in order.”

  “Family stuff.”

  “Yes. Family stuff.”

  “You told him? About the kids?”

  I shake my head. “No, but I told him about us.” I suddenly feel like my insides are exposed, and it makes me feel squirmy. “I told him that my marriage is falling apart, and my best friend is dying, and I want some personal time to work on those two things.”

  “And he was okay with it?”

  I rock my head back and forth. “I’m not sure okay is the right word. But he allowed it.” I hold up one finger. “He did ask me if I could still do payroll, so I told him I could. It’s not a big deal.”

  “So, you’ll work part time?” Eli asks.

  “No more than ten hours a week for the next two weeks. But it’ll ease his burden and it won’t feel like such a pain having me gone.” I look at him. “Is that okay with you?”

  “Since when have you had to clear your schedule with me, Bess?” He snorts out a laugh. “Whatever you want is fine with me.”

  “Well, if it becomes a problem, I’ll reevaluate.”

  “Sounds good.” He grins at me. Then he suddenly sobers. “Does this feel weird to you?”

  “Does what feel weird?” I watch his face for clues, but I find none.

  “This talking thing we’re doing. Does it feel weird to you?”

  I raise my brows. “Should it?”

  He shrugs.

  “Does it feel weird to you?” I ask, and I brace myself for his response.

  He shakes his head. “No, actually it feels pretty damn good,” he says.

  We walk around the side of Jake and Katie’s house and walk up the porch steps, still chatting and laughing together. When we hit the top step, we look up to find everyone staring at us. Jake and Katie stand slack-jawed, and Aaron’s eyes get big, almost comically big, in his face. Mr. Jacobson lets out a snort.

  “What?” I ask. I look down at myself, thinking maybe I dropped some food on my shirt when I was cooking. I see nothing. “What’s wrong with all of you?”

  Aaron grins. “Nothing.” He reaches into the cooler for a soda and passes it to Kerry-Anne. “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Then why are you all looking so funny?” I ask.

  Aaron looks over at Jake with mock horror on his face. “Dude, I think she just called you funny-looking.”

  “I don’t care what she calls me as long as that bowl has loaded baked potato salad in it,” Jake says. He reaches for the bowl and whistles as he looks inside. “My favorite.” He points a finger at Eli. “If you try to hog it all, things are going to get ugly,” he warns.

  “She made me my own bowl,” Eli taunts.

  Aaron pretends to pout. “What do I have to do to get my own bowl?”

  “You have to marry her,” Mr. Jacobson says. He looks from me to Eli and back again, a supreme look of satisfaction on his face.

  “And put up with her snoring,” Eli adds.

  I elbow him in the side, and he ducks down and kisses my cheek, which makes me lean into him a little. Everyone goes still. Completely still. Then they all immediately go back to normal, like somebody scratched a record and time stopped.

  Why are they being so weird?

  32

  Bess

  “How did it go at the doctor’s office?” I ask Aaron as we stand hip to hip at the double sink in Katie’s kitchen, washing dishes.

  He lowers the collar of his shirt and shows me a neat row of butterfly stitch bandages where his port used to be. “They took my port out.”

  I feel like he has just kicked me in the gut. “So you’re officially done. Done. Like, no more. Done?”

  He nods slowly. “I’m done.”

  “Did they give you a time frame?” I ask quietly.

  The older kids are all outside, and Katie just went to give her youngest two a bath so they can go to sleep, while Jake and Eli make a fire in the fire pit so the older kids can roast marshmallows and make dough doggies. Still, Aaron looks around to be sure they can’t hear him. “I didn’t want one,” he admits. “Call me a coward if you want to, but I don’t want to plan for it. I want to plan for a good summer and nothing else.” He arches his brows at me like he’s waiting for reassurance.

  “You’re not a coward,” I say quietly. “You’re the strongest man I know.”

  He shakes his head. “I’m just playing the cards I was dealt. That doesn’t make me strong. It makes me normal.”

  “The words Aaron and normal have never been synonymous, you jackhole,” I say playfully. I pick up a fingerful of soap bubbles from the sink and flick them in his direction. I force myself to sober as he wipes his face. “How was Sam?”

  “She was surprisingly, weirdly composed, honestly. I expected some crying or histrionics, but she asked a few questions, and she
sat silently and listened the rest of the time.” He nods like he’s reassuring himself. “I think she’ll be okay.”

  “Not much she can do about it otherwise, is there?” I toss out.

  “Nope. Trust me. I’ve tried.”

  “What did you try?”

  “I researched all the chemical trials that are going on. I didn’t qualify for any of them. I saw three different doctors at three different hospitals and they all had the same opinion. In the end, I’m supposed to die from this, and those are the cards I’ve been dealt. Now I can either enjoy the game or I can throw a fit about the fact that I’m going to lose it someday. I choose the former.” Suddenly, he nudges me hard in the arm with his elbow. “So,” he says loudly, and he glares at me, his eyes wide.

  “So…what?” I ask, my voice filled with petulance.

  “You and Eli were looking pretty chummy when you walked up tonight.”

  Heat creeps up my face. “Stop it,” I say, and I look over his shoulder to be sure no one can hear us. “We did not.”

  “You guys were laughing. And he kissed you.”

  “He kissed my cheek, you big dummy.” I elbow him so hard that it shoves him over a couple of feet.

  “And you didn’t even slap him. You just blushed like you used to do when you were sixteen and he was within ten feet of you.”

  I suck in a gasp of abject horror. “I never blushed!” I point my index finger at him. “You shut your stupid face right now or I’ll shut it for you.”

  He falls over because he’s laughing so hard it hurts his stomach. “Oh, my God, it’s like we’ve gone back in time! You just told me to shut my stupid face!” He cackles and clutches his stomach, rocking forward, unable to catch his breath.

  I grin more to myself than to him and I try to bite it back but can’t. “I hate you so much.”

  He lifts his foot and kicks me in the behind with it. “You love my stupid ass, even if you don’t want to.”

  Silence settles over us and Aaron says nothing for a minute.

  “Hey, Bess…”

  I reach over and turn off the water. “Hey, Aaron,” I parrot.

  He rolls his eyes. He waits a beat. “Do you believe in heaven?” he asks.

  Ouch. I think about it, wondering how much honesty is too much. “Truthfully, I don’t know, Aaron. I’d like to.”

  “So,” he says slowly, drawing out the word, “where do you think Lynda is right now, if you’re not sure about heaven?” He pretends to be really engrossed in drying a plate, but it has been dry for the past five minutes.

  “I feel Lynda all around us all the time. I see her in the beautiful smiles of your children every day. When Sam grins, she looks just like her mother. Lynda’s light shone so brightly, Aaron, that I don’t think that even death can dim a light like hers. And her light continues to shine on you and through you, and when you’re gone, it’ll shine on and through your children, and on and through everyone who knew her. She’ll never be gone, and neither will you, you fucking nitwit.” My voice cracks on that last bit.

  “You suck at consoling people, just so you know,” he says to me.

  I jerk the plate he’s still drying from his hands and put it away. “Do you want me to console you, Aaron? If that’s what you need, tell me. I’d do just about anything for you. So if you want me to try to make you feel better about the cards you were dealt, I will. Or I can continue to treat you like the jackass you are.” I grin at him, even though I desperately want to cry.

  He leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’d rather you be exactly who you are. Every day, all day.”

  “I’ll make sure you stay alive for them, Aaron, if that’s what you’re worried about. There won’t be a holiday or a special occasion where you’re not mentioned. Lynda too, although I never liked her as much as I like you. I only tolerated her for your sake.” I laugh as he pretends to attack me. “I’m kidding!” I screech, and duck to run away. I spin and run straight into someone’s hard chest. Strong arms reach out and steady me and hold me tightly but tenderly.

  “What are you two doing?” Eli asks. He looks from me to Aaron and back. His brow furrows. He jerks his thumb toward the back deck. “Do I need to call Mr. Jacobson in here to make you two straighten up?” He puffs out his chest. “I’ll do it!” he says. “I will. Just try me!”

  “We’ll behave,” Aaron and I say at the same time, which makes me snort out a laugh. Like, a real snort. Embarrassed, I cover my mouth with my hand when I realize what I’ve done.

  “You snorted,” Aaron says as he points at me.

  “Yeah, well, you had better watch it,” I warn. “Next time, I’ll fart on you.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Like you’ve never done that before.” He makes a come-hither motion with his hands. “Bring it, baby. I ain’t scared.”

  I haven’t had this much fun in a really long time. “I bet I can make a better dough doggie than you,” I taunt, and I rush past him toward the back door. He grabs me around the waist and shoves me behind him so that he can get in front, and I screech and grab his waistband, pulling for all I’m worth so I can get out in front of him. “Stop!” I cry when I realize I’m losing. But Aaron rushes through the door ahead of me. And he runs straight into a stony-faced Mr. Jacobson.

  “Sorry,” Aaron says quietly, holding his head down like a puppy who has been caught in the trash.

  “Were you born in a barn, son?” Mr. Jacobson asks.

  “No sir,” Aaron replies. “Sorry.”

  Mr. Jacobson glares at me, too. “Both of you need to cool your jets.” He glares at us both. “And I know just what you need.” He steps to the side and I find Jake on the other side of him, standing in a shooting stance while holding the pistol-grip sprayer end of a garden hose.

  “Oh, you wouldn’t dare!” Aaron yells, but he’s already laughing. He runs behind me and grabs both my arms, holding me in front of him like a shield.

  I struggle to get free. “Eli!” I yell. “Help me!” Aaron might have just finished chemo, but he’s strong as an ox and I can’t get out of his hold.

  Eli chuckles and steps to the side. “Get ’em, Jake!” he says.

  Jake depresses the lever on the sprayer and the cold water hits me right in the face, leaving me gasping.

  He freezes. “Oops. I didn’t mean to hit you in the face,” he rushes to say. He holds up his hands in surrender as I advance upon him. “Seriously, Bess, I didn’t mean to.” He lifts the sprayer again and holds it at the ready. “Step back, Bess, or I’ll have no choice but to use deadly force.”

  I advance on him and he ducks and runs in the other direction. He carries the sprayer with him. I grab the hose and give it a jerk, and it comes free of his hand and falls onto the porch. I tug the hose like it’s a rope, bringing the sprayer toward me, but at the last minute Mr. Jacobson grabs it and holds it on all of us like he’s holding us hostage.

  “All of you are acting like you don’t have a lick of sense,” he says. He glares at each of us in turn. “Is this how you act when you go to somebody’s house?”

  “I live here,” Jake says, raising his hand like the teacher has called on him in class.

  “Then you of all people should know how to behave!” He depresses the lever and hits Jake straight in the face with a blast of water. It’s much more forceful than the blast Jake hit me with. Jake sputters and wipes his face clear with a frustrated swipe. “Pop,” he warns.

  “Pop,” Mr. Jacobson repeats, mocking Jake’s tone. I cover my mouth when another snort escapes. “And you,” he says, putting all his attention on me. I cower like the child I am. “I’m pretty sure you started all this.” He aims the sprayer at Aaron. “Between the two of you, I’m not sure which of you is worse.” He goes back and forth, aiming between me and Aaron, and Aaron pushes me in front of him and uses me like a shield again.

  “Oh, you!” I cry, and I wiggle to get out of his grasp, but he just laughs and holds me tighter. “You dickweed! Let me go!”

/>   “Language, Bess, there are children present,” Aaron scolds. “Wouldn’t want to harm their impressionable little ears.” He jostles me back and forth, following where Mr. Jacobson is moving the sprayer nozzle back and forth between me and him.

  I look over and see the children. Alex and Sam stand with their mouths wide open. Trixie and Kerry-Anne look on with smiles on their faces, and Gabby stands holding Miles in her arms and she just looks resigned to all this. Kind of like so this is the life you’ve given me, huh? Okay.

  “Kids, you have to help me!” I cry out to them.

  That’s when I feel it. From over my head, a torrent of water rains down. It hits Aaron first, who sputters and looks around, trying to figure out where it’s coming from. Then I see Eli standing there holding an empty bucket, which he has just upended over mine and Aaron’s heads. “Oh, you!” I cry. “I’m going to get you for this.” I wipe my hair out of my eyes.

  And that’s when Mr. Jacobson opens fire on all of us. He gets me and Aaron first. Eli has the audacity to gloat, so he nails him too. And poor Jake, who was the mastermind who created all this, gets the brunt of it. He puts his hand up to block the water that’s shooting at his face, to no avail.

  “Oh, my God, what are you all doing?” Katie cries as she waddles down the steps onto the porch. “Have you all lost your minds?” She looks from one of us to another, and I can tell she’s more than a little disappointed in all of us. But then Mr. Jacobson, being the man that he is, sprays her too.

  She sputters and wipes her face. “I will get you when you least expect it, old man,” she warns, but she’s laughing at the same time. She shakes the water from her hands and lifts the tail of her shirt to wipe her face, exposing her great big pregnant belly. “What is wrong with you people?” she asks as she marches back into the house.

  “You’re in trouble,” Jake sings out in Mr. Jacobson’s direction.

  “Shit,” Mr. Jacobson says. “I really didn’t think that through.” But then he starts to laugh, and he sends one of the kids to get some balloons they can fill with water. It’s a beautiful summer night. Why would anyone want to stay dry?