by A L Williams
He didn't understand. I jumped up and backed away. “Who the hell do you think you are? You know nothing about me.” I dashed forward, grabbing the blade from him and backed away again.
“James, I just— ” he started.
“Get out.” I turned from him, holding the blade to my chest. “Please, just go.” He remained silent. I ran past him, entering the bathroom and leaning against the door, cool against my hot skin.
“I’m sorry,” he said through the door. “When you’re ready, you know where to find me.” I squeezed my eyes shut, my body grew heavy as I slid down the door. The click of the door echoed as I pulled my legs close to my chest, laying my forehead against my knees.
Chapter Thirteen
Andrew
When I went to James' apartment, I didn’t expect to see the flicker of red and orange fire through the windows, melting the glass. My heart sped up, slamming against my chest as I rushed in. I stopped, watching the girl from the club struggle to get to James. Moments later the fire receded, absorbed into his skin, leaving the room blackened and sizzling from the remaining heat. He stood in the middle, his body tense and his eyes closed. I heard myself call him as the rush of blood filled my ears. He looked up at me, an apology falling from his lips, and he collapsed. I ran towards him, catching him before he touched the ground. Sinking down with his limp body against me, I looked down at his face, still tense from stress. Stroking his cheek, the urge to protect him hit me hard. I wanted to wrap him in my arms— hide him from the world.
Lucifer's eyes blazed and a minute later the room was back to normal, not a single burn mark or pile of ash left. Lifting James from the floor, I carried him; the girl ran over when I settled him on the bed, covering him with his blanket. She kneeled next to him. I watched as worry stretched across her face and she grasped his hand. She looked up.
"You're the sexy cop from Divine."
I blinked. "How do you know I'm a cop?"
She smirked. "I've had enough run ins with y'all. It's easy to spot you."
Her record drifted through my mind. "I'm Detective Andrew Scott."
She pulled herself to her feet. "Hayley." She turned and walked towards Lucifer. "What are you?" she said. He thinned his lips and did not answer. "Tell me right now. I'm tired of the secrets." She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
He sighed. "I am the morning star." He paused. "I was." She gawked at him for a moment.
She knitted her brows. "Shit." She returned to James, furrowing her brow as she studied at him. "No wonder he is always so withdrawn."
She looked up at me. "He doesn't realize his face is easy to read." I nodded. It was. That was something I liked about him. Honesty and bravery shined through his beautiful eyes and he had no idea.
Later, when Lucifer and Hayley left, I fell asleep with him pressed against me. It was the best feeling in the world. His warmth sank into my skin as his scent filled my nose, calming me. I hadn’t experienced since before my mother died. I didn't want it to end.
The next morning, I took a shower while he continued to sleep. I washed, and I caught sight of a blade tucked behind his shampoo. I reached for it, holding it in the palm of my hand, as water hit my body. I examined it, noticing the specks of dried blood. Was he cutter? My stomach twisted into knots.
I should tread carefully, but the urge to make him stop was strong. When I came out of the bathroom with the blade, he stared at me with wide eyes, anxiety radiating off of him. I reassured him and waited for him to explain. I didn’t expect to find out he had Accidentally killed his mother.
After pulling his lip from his teeth, I told him about my mother, but I kept the details about me hidden. I wanted him to know, but the fear was overwhelming.
Tell him.
My jaw tensed, but I didn't. I held up the blade, fighting the urge to throw it away. “Never again,” His face fell, but I continued. Everything had gone down the drain at that point. I stood alone in the room, realizing what I did and wanting to kick myself.
“I’m sorry. When you’re ready, you know where to find me,” I said through the bathroom door.
I stepped outside, my stomach twisting. What did I do? He didn't need anyone telling him what to do. He must have felt invalidated. I rubbed my temple, the air hot and thick. I looked up, finding Lucifer walking towards me. He studied me curiously I moved forward as his intense ivory eyes followed me.
“We need to talk,” I said. He nodded. We walked to the fence surrounding the pool.
He gazed at me, his white eyes shimmering in the light of the sun. “I’ve never known one to stay.”
I tensed. “That's not important. What do you want from him?”
Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t your concern.”
My chest tightened. “Listen. This is my city, and if he is in danger, it is my business.” Lucifer didn’t respond. I leaned against the bars of the fence, the metal warm against my skin. “I want to help him. Please.”
He studied me. “What are you to him?”
“Someone who cares,” I replied.
He frowned. “Gabriel wants revenge against me. And they mean to do it through killing James.” He turned and walked to James' door, walking inside without knocking. That man had no tacked.
I sighed and returned to the parking lot. Once in my car, I leaned against my seat, the fabric hot against my neck.
Shit.
What did I do?
A knock on my window caught my attention. It was Hayley. I rolled it down. “What’s up? You look like shit,” she said. I frowned, looking towards James’ door. She walked around the car, hopping inside. “What happened?” I sighed and explained. She leaned as I finished, the air thick with humidity. I started the ignition, the air conditioning kicking on. “He’s dramatic isn’t he?” She sat in silence as people moved about the parking lot towards the complex. “He didn’t tell me,” she whispered. “Why can’t he trust me?”
I slumped in my seat. “Maybe he’s scared.” She didn’t respond. I knew fear well. My stomach churned, drifting to my brief mention of my mother. I almost told him.
If you can’t even trust him.
How can you expect him to trust you?
“I’ll talk to him,” she said, pulling me from my thoughts. She hopped out of the car, pausing. She looked at me with a hard expression. “I can’t imagine what he’s been through. But he doesn’t need any more pain. Don’t hurt him.” She closed the door and strolled through the complex. I watched her disappear as my stomach twisted tighter.
Tell him.
Chapter Fourteen
James
I opened my eyes with a frown and threw my arm over my face, blocking out the light. I wanted to stay tucked in the warmth of my bed. Everything with Andrew had piled all kinds of stress on top of me and not because of what he did, but because of my reaction. He was only trying to help. He cared about me. My stomach tightened. Throwing my pillow over my head, I released a long groan. “Good morning,” Hayley’s voice said from across the room. I shot up into a sitting position and gazed towards the kitchen, finding her at the table. She held her phone in her hand, typing away.
I dragged myself out of bed and walked over to her. “Hey.”
She looked up. “Hey. Lucy, let me in” I looked around, spotting him outside, in the back with a cigarette in his hands. He smoked. Well, angels don't die so I doubted he had to worry about cancer. I flopped into the chair, peering across the table. “You hungry?” she asked. I nodded. She stood, moving to the kitchen corner and pulling food out of two bags. She placed a platter of pancakes and eggs in front of me.
A while later, we sipped on our coffee. I took the last bite of my pancake, the sweet flavor of maple filling my mouth. “So, you cut,” she said. I choked.
“Yeah.” I looked down at the crumbs on my plate.
“How old are you?” she asked. I froze and blinked at her abrupt change of subject. At that moment, I wanted to hug her.
"I am two-hundr
ed and fifty," I replied.
She glanced out the window and then gazed at me, her eyes wide. “Wait! If I’m counting right, you were a slave.” I started laughing as she gawked at me. My laughter turned bitter as my emotions shifted, my shoulders trembling. I put my face in my hands. Hayley moved from her chair, kneeling at my feet and embraced me, rocking. She whispered words of reassurance and love, soothing me into silence. My shaking subsided, and I wiped the tears away.
I began to tell her my story. I started from the beginning and took deep measured breaths, struggling at the end, remembering my mother’s pained expression.. Hayley remained silent and moved to her chair, processing my words. She smiled. “She sounds like an amazing woman.”
“She was.” I looked through the window, the drapes fluttering from the warm breeze.
“You must have been so lonely,” Hayley said.
“Yeah.” I laid my hands on the table.
She leaned forward and squeezed my hand. “I love you. Thank you for trusting me with that.”We sat in silence, her eyes hard, very different from the Hayley I knew. “My stepfather raped me for 6 years.” I blinked and gaped at her in shock. She sighed. “It went on until, one day, it just stopped, and the cops arrested him. For a long time, I didn’t know what to do.” She laughed bitterly. “I loved him. The doctors told me it was Stockholm Syndrome.”
She glanced outside as someone walk past the window. “I ran away from foster care and started doing drugs.” She played with her fingers on the table, anxiety rippling off of her. “I pushed everyone away, spending my time getting my next fix. Until I got arrested, and the judge put me in rehab. And then, one day, Corbin showed up.” She smiled. “I moved in with him and I haven’t gotten high since. I spent so much time running from my pain that I wasn't living. I was a victim." She stopped for a moment, leaning back in her seat. "But I will never be a victim again." Her eyes blazed as she looked at me. "You aren't a victim anymore."
I opened my mouth to speak, and she placed her finger over it. “It’s not your fault. Don’t push us away.” She said, stroking my hand.
“Us?” Warmth and fear twisted around in my stomach melding together.
She leaned forward. “Detective Scott cares about you.”
I played with the fork in front of me. “Does he? Why? We don't know each other.”
“You really don’t see how amazing you are, do you?” I looked over at her and she smiled. I furrowed my brow. "He fucked up. But he meant well. He feels horrible about it. I could tell,” she said.
I blinked. "You talked to him?"
She nodded. "Outside. I could see the regret and sadness on his face. Go talk to him." I chewed my lip.
The patio door slid open, and, when I glanced over, Lucifer walked over. “Why do you always look like you need to take a shit?” she said, rolling her eyes.
He frowned. “What are you going on about girl?”
Hayley's eyes flashed. "I'm not a girl. I am a woman." They glared at each other.
I shook my head as lightness settled over me. “Would you two stop? You sound like an old married couple.”
They both turned on me. I started to laugh, tears gathering in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, the laughter bubbling out of me.
“This is not funny,” Lucifer said. I laughed harder and Hayley joined. He looked between us. Annoyance plastered on his face.
After a few moments, we fell silent. My chest warmed as a lightness settled over me.
"Let's go." I said. Hayley grinned. The idea of confronting him after so long was terrifying, but the pull was too strong. I wanted to trust him.
My man.
~
When we arrived at the station, we walked through the sliding glass doors. Lucifer stayed behind, stating his disinterest. Anxiety twisted in my gut and I turned to run, but Hayley pulled me back, standing with her arms crossed in front of her. “Go, makeup.” she said. I sighed.
Detective Skyler appeared and a smile spread across his face. “Hello, Mr. Miller.” He moved around the counter. "Hi," I replied.
“Is Detective Scott here?” Hayley asked. He glanced at her.
“Yeah, there.” He pointed to a door with Detective Andrew Scott etched on a bronzed plate.
“I’ll stay here with sexy cop number two. Go talk to him.” She pushed me towards the door. I moved to it, looking back at them as they smiled at each other.
I shook my head. I turned back and knocked, rocking back on me heels. “Come in,” Andrew said.
I opened it, finding him tucked behind a cherry wood desk with a nameplate at the front. To one side, a filing cabinet sat ajar, and a wastebasket pressed against the other side of the desk. He sat in a leather chair with a coffee mug, looking at paperwork scattered in front of him with furrowed brows. When he looked up, his eyes widened “James?” I swallowed.
When I stepped inside I met his gaze and we stared at each other in silence, the wind banging against the window. “I’m sorry,” we both said. I rubbed the back of my neck and he chuckled.
“I shouldn’t have told you what to do.”
"I'm sorry I overreacted. I should stop being so dramatic."
He inched closer. “It’s understandable." I looked down at the floor and then at him, catching a twinkle in his eyes. I blushed. He stopped in front of me. "I care about you."
“Why?”
He frowned. “Do you not see?” I shook my head. “You’re amazing. You've been through so much, but keep fighting. It frustrates me you don’t realize it.” He moved close to me, leaving only inches between us. He ran his hand along my face, stopping at my chin and gripping it. “And your eyes are beautiful. You are beautiful.” He tilted my chin, sending a shudder through me. “I know you don’t believe me. But I will tell you every day until you do.” He pulled me into his arms and ran his hands down my back. He chuckled “Of course, I’m a little biased.”
I looked up at him, his hands moving down over my ass. “Why’s that?” I said, my cock taking notice.
He squeezed and a low moan fell from my lips. I laid my head on his chest, inhaling his scent. He leaned down, his lips brushing my ear. “You’re sexy. I’ve wanted to fuck you since that night at Divine.”
Blood rushed to my cock and cleared my throat. “I can’t promise you I will stop cutting. But I will try.”
A bright smile spread across his face, warming my heart, and he leaned his forehead against mine. “That’s all I want.” He brushed my locks behind my ear and leaned down, biting my ear. I hissed and my dick now pushed against my jeans. I wrapped my arms around him as he captured my lips with his. The world disappeared, leaving only us. He sucked on my tongue and I groaned into his mouth as he pulled me closer.
“Woo-hoo!” A familiar voice yelled. We jumped back, looking to the door, and finding Detective Skyler and Hayley standing there with a twinkle in their eyes.
“If you're going to fuck, let me film it. We could make bank online,” she said.
Detective Skyler looked down at her. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard in days.”
They both snickered. I groaned, wishing the earth would swallow me. I hid my face in Andrew’s chest, basking in his scent.
“You two are ridiculous,” Andrew said, shaking his head. I glanced up at him.
“I got a hot date. I’ll see you all later,” Detective Skyler said. A strange phrase, that was not in English, fell from his lips and he walked out.
“See you later, Ben,” Andrew said. I looked up as he smiled down at me. He tilted my head up and captured my lips in a deep kiss, taking my breath away and I melted into him, ignoring Hayley's catcalls that faded into the back of my mind.
Chapter Fifteen
Andrew
I stepped out of my car and strolled towards James’ door. The sun had sunk low in the sky as parents called their children in from play, smiling at the tiny faces.
When I knocked, the door opened. Hayley stood in the doorway with a huge grin. “What ar
e your intentions with my baby, sir?”
I smiled. “How are you?”
She smirked. “I’m great. I’m so happy Jamie is getting out.”
I nodded. She leaned forward with her eyes narrowed. “Do me a favor. Fuck the shit out of him. He needs it.” I gawked at her and she snickered.
“What are you running on about?” James said from inside. She stepped to the side, allowing me inside.
When I entered, I found him standing with a big smile across his face, his ivory eyes catching the glint of the moon which made my stomach quiver. He wore a pair of black jeans and a dark red button-up shirt that clung to his body perfectly. “Hi,” he said.
I inched closer. “Hello, you look nice.” He flushed, looking down at the carpet.
Hayley moved, stopping between us. "You’re welcome. If I had allowed him to dress himself, he would have worn his usual drab jeans and black shirts."
“I like black.”He poked out his lip in cutest pout I had ever seen.
She rolled her eyes. “It doesn't have to your whole wardrobe.” My body grew light as I watched the exchange between them, noting the change in their in James’ posture. He stood relaxed, a stark contrast to his usual stiff continuance. As she nagged, he feigned annoyance with a glint of light in his eye. I blinked and scanned the room, wondering where Lucifer was.
He turned to me. “Lucifer went out. I don’t know where, but he said he would be back.” I nodded.
He glared at Hayley. “Leave my closet alone.”
