In the hallway, I stopped long enough to shove on my trousers and blouse before heading over to Finn’s room. I gave a quiet knock first, then heaved the door open a crack.
“Finn,” I whispered.
I noted that his companion was gone so I slipped in and closed the door behind me. I tried to rouse him from his deep sleep, but nothing worked. I bet the crew would be sleeping their monster hangovers off for most of the morning, so I turned and left with a sigh. I wanted to go to town and gather my supplies but had no idea how to get there, and I also told Henry I would go with someone.
I glanced at the big clock at the foot of the stairs. It was early. I could sneak out, get my supplies, and be back before the crew was even awake. How hard could it be to find the marketplace in a small community, anyway? So, I set out and wandered.
It didn’t take long to find it. The town consisted of one main road and a bunch of smaller ones that veered off it. But the main road led to the heart of the community where I found a nest of tables and tents, people bustling about, and the smell of fresh codfish. With large satchels hanging from my shoulders and a wooden crate full of smaller supplies, I’d managed to get most of the items I wanted to stock the ship’s kitchen. My arms full and weighed down by it all, a kind gentleman called out to me.
“Miss,” he called from his merchant tent. When he caught my gaze, he motioned me over. As I neared, I saw that he sold trinkets, unlike most of the other merchants who boasted food. “You look like you need some help.”
I smiled. “Oh, thank you. But I couldn’t ask you to. I’m staying at The Thirsty Trout, I wouldn’t want you to leave your tent unattended for that long.”
I watched curiously as he bent behind the counter and then emerged with a small wagon towing behind him. “Here, use this,” he said.
“Really? Are you sure?”
The kind man nodded. “Yes, of course. Just leave it at the Trout, I’ll come by later to pick it up.” Not taking no for an answer, the man began grabbing my items and filling the wagon.
“Thank you so much,” I told him and then spotted something in his tent.
A small jar turned on its side, a delicate ship inside. I walked closer to get a better look and saw that the ship bore a resemblance to The Devil’s Heart and a grin splashed across my face. It was too perfect. I had to get it for Henry.
“How much for the ship-in-a-bottle?” I asked the merchant and fetched my satchel of coins from my pocket.
“Now, put your money away,” he told me and scooped the bottle from his table. “I prefer to trade.”
“Oh, I don’t really have anything of value,” I replied. “Are you sure you won’t take coins?” I saw him eye my wrist where a small silver chain hung. It was a birthday gift from John and I hadn’t even realized I still wore it. What better way to get rid of it? I unclasped the bracelet and held it up for the merchant. “But I do have this. It’s real silver.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Real silver?” he confirmed and shook his head. “It’s far too valuable. The ship is not worth it, dear.”
“Please, I insist,” I urged him, “It was a gift from a man who betrayed me. Its value means nothing to me. I’d much rather have that ship-in-a-bottle.”
He graciously accepted the trade and skipped back to his tent with the bottle. “Then I insist on engraving it. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll have a name carved into the base for you.”
I was about to decline the offer but then smiled. Engraving it would be pretty cool. But I knew Henry wouldn’t want his name on display for his crew to see. “Can you very discreetly, maybe on the bottom, carve the initials H.W.W?”
“Of course, Miss,” he replied. “Come, have a seat while you wait.”
Now that I had a wagon, I loaded up with a few more things and when I’d finished with the market, I made my way back to The Thirsty Trout, happy with my haul and entertained ideas of all the yummy things I would make for the crew. I was still on a mission, to change Henry’s mind about killing The Cobhams and then find a way back home. But who knows how long that could take? I may as well make things as comfortable as possible, make some friends, eat some delicious food.
This was the wonderful adventure I’d always dreamed of. Even as a kid, all I wanted was to sail away and live an exciting life. I thought I was doing that by moving out to Alberta, living in the big city, doing what I loved. But, truthfully, I hated my job. It was stressful and demanding, I had no real life to speak of. I had to accept the fact that the life I was living, here in the past, was far more exciting than anything I could ever dream of in the future.
I just hoped my actions last night wouldn’t complicate things between Captain Barrett and I. We were both a little drunk, gave into our attraction for one another, but that’s all it was. A one-time thing. So, why did I get excited at the thought of making him smile with a present? I shook my head. No, I was just trying to establish trust, be friendly. The ship-in-a-bottle was a token of that.
Then what was last night?
I sighed to myself as I entered the tavern, pulling the heavy wagon behind me. The innkeeper, whose name I’d still yet to learn, rushed over from his desk to help me.
“Well, you’re an early riser, aren’t ya?” he said.
“I had a list of things to get, and everyone was asleep, so I figured it best to get it done and out of the way.”
“Well, you just missed them. The whole lot jumped out of their beds and ran out the door.”
I nodded. “Yeah, they had some business to tend to, information to find,” I replied, thinking of how Henry said they wanted to suss out the word on land regarding the Cobhams.
“They’ve no idea how lucky they are, those boys,” he told me after checking out the things in my wagon. “You can keep this in the kitchen until you’re ready to head back to your ship if you like.”
“Oh, thanks, that would be great.”
“And I have something for you,” the old man perked up and scuttled over to the front desk where I watched him grab a stack of folded laundry.
“These are some clothes for you,” he said. “They were my son’s when he was a young man, I ‘magine they’d fit you just fine. Much better than the linens draping off ya now.”
I chuckled and glanced down at the clothes Henry had given me. They were huge, and I looked ridiculous with the bunched-up trousers held tight to my waist with my belt. Like a kid wearing their parent’s clothes. I graciously accepted the bundle from him.
“Thank you so much,” I said, and gave him a hug with my free arm. “Oh, I actually have something for you, too.”
I pulled out a note from my pocket and handed it to him. I wrote it while I sat with the merchant and waited for him to carve Henry’s initials on the bottle. “It’s the recipe for the pasta dish I made last night.”
The man’s eyes lit up with joy and he held the piece of paper to his chest. “Well, this is better than a bag of gold shillings, Dianna.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m glad you like it.” I began pulling the wagon toward the kitchen. “I never did catch your name, by the way.”
“Sheppard,” he replied, and my breath caught at the familiar name. “Nathaniel Sheppard.”
I remembered then, my mom once telling me that Dad’s heritage stemmed all the way back to some of the island’s first merchants and shop owners. And I wondered if Mr. Sheppard was one of them. I told myself he was, just so I could feel a sense of pride in at least one bloodline here in the past.
“Well, Nathaniel, it was an absolute pleasure to have met you,” I told him and gave the man another gentle hug.
He patted me on the back and replied, “And I you, dearie.”
***
After a long, glorious bath that Nathaniel’s wife ran for me, I stepped into one of the outfits he gave me as a new woman. I swear, I must have shed ten pounds of dirt and grime, but it felt good to be fresh and have clothes of my own. Clothes that actually fit. Even if they were that of a teenage boy.
I’d much rather the black trousers and a simple white shirt over a dress if I were to be spending my days aboard a pirate ship. The pants came with a pair of black suspenders sewed into the seams, but I actually didn’t mind the look. If I were back home, I’d be a trendy hipster.
The crew still weren’t back from their recon trip, so I snuck into Henry’s room and placed the ship-in-a-bottle on his bedside table with a note that read I told you I would replace it. I hope you like this one better.
I heard the bedroom door open from behind me and I turned to find Henry standing in the doorway, breathless. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face and I opened my mouth to speak, but he lunged across the room like a bullet and grabbed me by the arms, madness in his eyes.
“Where the Christ have you been?” he bellowed, his massive fingers digging into my flesh.
I struggled to break free, but it was useless. “I went to the market like I told you I would.”
“Why didn’t you take Finn?” he yelled. “Why didn’t you tell someone?”
I realized then, that he’d thought I ran away. “Henry, please you’re–”
His grip tightened like a vice around my limbs and I thought he’d break them. “I told you not to call me that!”
I’d had enough. I wasn’t some snowflake woman that he could toss around just because he couldn’t get a handle on his issues. I moved my leg back and then brought it forward in one quick thrust between his legs and sent him crumbling to the floor, coughing and gasping for air.
“Why not? It’s your God damn name, isn’t it?” I moved past him and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
In the hallway, I met Finn and I tried to hide the tears that filled my eyes. “Aye, Lassie,” he said, “Where have ye been? What’s the matter?”
“Just leave me alone,” I told him, and he recoiled at the comment. “C-can I have your room for a while?”
He stole a glance at Henry’s door, then back to me, acceptance and realization on his face, and nodded with a sigh. “I’ll go fetch meself somethin’ to eat.”
I crawled into Finn’s bed, suddenly very aware of how tired my body was. I had ignored my hangover and exhausted myself all morning. Not to mention the emotional exhaustion Henry caused me. His sudden bursts of anger and mood swings were beginning to make me dizzy and I was tired of trying so hard not to make him upset.
Suddenly, my goal of changing his mind about killing The Cobhams seemed impossible. I laid there, not sleeping, for a while, just basking in the silence when a knock came at the door and I wiped my face of tears.
“It’s open,” I called, thinking it was probably Finn. But I was wrong, and my eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”
Henry stood half in, half out of the room, his face hung in shame. “May I come in?”
I mulled it over, letting him stew for a moment. Then I sat up in bed. “Yes, if you can promise to be civilized.”
He took in a deep breath and entered the room, shutting the door behind him. My chest tightened, and I curled my knees up to it. He noted my actions and I could see the ping of regret he felt. It didn’t excuse it, though. My arms stung like crazy where his fingers surely left bruises.
Henry took a careful step forward, one hand behind his back. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” he started.
“Well, you have a messed-up way of showing it,” I replied.
“I know,” he agreed, “I have my… demons. And I need to learn to face them. But it makes me weak, angry. I’m the captain of my ship, I’m responsible and in control of my men.” He paused and took another step forward. “But you…”
“You can’t control me?”
Henry grinned, but it didn’t hide the sadness in his black eyes. “On the contrary,” he replied, “It is you who controls me.”
My body began to relax, and I let go of my knees. Henry sat on the edge of the bed, careful to keep his distance.
“You turned everything upside down the second you came aboard. I locked myself in my quarters for days, stewing in a fit of wine and rage. I thought you to be some sort of ghost, or demon, come to torture me. Everything I had buried, inside, and in the damned chest, came flooding back and I was a little boy again.”
My shoulders sank with pity for the damaged man before me. “Because I looked like her.”
“Yes,” Henry replied. “At first, I thought you were her when the men dragged your body across the deck. I was ready to kill you. I needed to before the poison of Maria’s memory spread too far. But then, I snuck down to where you’d been locked up, where you slept, and I saw your face.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I told myself, once I’d escaped The Burning Ghost, that I’d never take another life if I could help it.”
“But Alfred…”
“Alfred deserved to meet my pistol,” Henry spat, “I never spoke a word to the crew, but he was once part of Maria’s men. He confirmed as much with his last words.”
My brain scrambled to remember the partial phrase he spoke that day. “May you all be met with the flame of The Burning Ghost and–”
“Never rise from the ashes,” Henry finished. “It was Maria’s parting words each time she’d raid and burn a vessel. I don’t understand how I never knew or saw him during my time there.”
I tried to remember all the painful words I’d read in Henry’s journal, to consider all the horrible things he’d been through. This was a broken man who’d shut the door to his past, leaving it undealt with. No one could help him get over the trauma because he wouldn’t let anyone open the door. But I’d accidentally busted through it, and I then realized that I could be the one to help him.
My hand slid across the blanket toward him, entwining my fingers with his. He stared down at our touching hands and then, to my surprise, brought them up to his lips where he placed a gentle kiss across my fingers. My heart sprang to life and my empty stomach tightened. Maybe embracing my temporary adventure could also include a little bit of romance, as long as I didn’t get too attached. It seemed unavoidable at that point.
“I’ll take regret to my grave over hurting you, Dianna,” he spoke, “I’m so very sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
I wanted to, I truly did. But my brain wouldn’t connect with my mouth and I just sat there, silent and staring at the leather-clad pirate who sat on my bed. Then he pulled the present I’d gotten him out from behind his back and smiled.
“Where did you get this?” he asked me.
“I traded for it in the marketplace.”
His head tipped back, and he took a deep breath, eyes closed. “I’d thought you were gone. I’d no idea what that would mean until I thought it actually happened. I went mad at the idea. That you’d make love to me like that, and then… leave. I felt betrayed and enraged. Gus and Finn’s attempts to reel me back were futile as I stormed the streets looking for you.” He took his hand back and leaned forward to rub his tired face. “And here you were, trading your own scarce belongings to get this gift for me. I’m truly the devil they say I am.”
Even though I knew I shouldn’t feel bad for him, my heart ached for the man. To anyone else, his actions would seem unforgivable. But not to me. I knew his secrets and I knew his past, the same as if I were part of it.
And, in a way, I was. I crawled toward him and slipped my hand through his gorgeous blonde hair. The look of surprise on his face quickly melted into a fiery yearning and he grabbed me by the waist, lifting my body with ease and setting me on his lap where his warm breath caressed my neck. I grabbed at his coat’s leather collar, peeling it away as he shrugged out of it.
“You’re not the devil, Henry,” I told him.
Cupping my cheek, his thumb smoothed the width of my lower lip as he stared at it. “I’ve wanted to take this beautiful mouth the moment I heard your voice spill across it.”
I leaned in and planted a slow, gentle kiss, letting him taste me. I could feel his manhood beneath m
y body and I swayed my hips forward, driving a deep moan from his throat.
“God, I do not deserve you,” he said through clenched teeth and smoothed the hair away from my face.
“No, you don’t,” I replied with a grin and yanked the shirt over my head to reveal my naked breasts. “But you’ll have me anyway.”
Chapter Twelve
What seemed like a blissful eternity later, we laid naked in Finn’s bed, the warmth of the fireplace like a heavy blanket and was all that lit the room. My head rested against his shoulder and I glanced up to watch his face, mesmerized by the way the flame’s shadows danced across it. Henry’s fingers twirled in my curls as he stared thoughtfully at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him.
“You,” he replied. “I never thought I’d find a woman I could let myself be with. Not after… her.” He paused to place a kiss on my forehead. “To be this intimate with someone, it meant opening that door, even just a little. And I couldn’t fathom the idea. So, I accepted that I would forever be alone. But then you just appeared one day, carrying with you all the secrets of my past.”
I propped myself up, so I could see him better. “Wait, you mean…” I tried to find the right words, “Henry, have you never been with a woman?”
His cheeks flushed, and the fire glistened in his obsidian eyes. “Well, I mean, a scatter bar maiden, if you don’t count–”
I quickly, but gently, brushed my fingers against his lips.
“No, I don’t count her,” I told him, saving him from speaking her name during our intimate moment. “What she did to you, that wasn’t affection, that wasn’t… love. It was wrong. She’s the devil, Henry.”
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