Henry’s breathing quickened to borderline hyperventilating, madness and betrayal toiling in his eyes. He squeezed them shut, seemingly fighting with himself, and retracted the blade. “Get out.”
“Henry, please, just list–”
“Don’t ever call me that again! Get out!”
I scrambled to my feet as he swung the sword in my direction, and ran out of the room, my feet barely touching the floor as I descended the stairs to a quiet and empty tavern below. I found a corner with a large armchair and curled up in it where I laid awake for hours, crying silently to myself, before exhaustion set in and I finally fell asleep. I took one thought with me as I plunged into a dream.
I’d broken him.
***
We boarded The Devil’s Heart bright and early the next day. Henry wouldn’t come within ten feet of me, so I took my place next to Finn and helped him load the supplies. He looked possessed, like a zombie, unable to make eye contact with anyone. For two days, I watched as he moved from place to place, ordering the crew with pointing, grunting, and glaring. The atmosphere aboard the ship turned cold and silent, unlike the homey feel I suddenly realized I’d come to love.
Finn gladly accepted me back into his double hammock; said I was like a small, warm teddy bear. My duties never ceased, though. I cooked three square meals a day for the crew, my crew, the men and boys I adored. They loved me, too, I knew that. But they realized I’d made their captain fall into a strange pit of despair, and I felt their unease around me. Especially old man Maurice. He watched me from where he sat each day, his beady eyes examining my every move. He was the only crew member I’d yet to come to know well, and his constant leering made me uneasy.
With less than three days left to our journey, I began to grow restless. I didn’t want to leave this era without reconciling with Henry if only a little. I just couldn’t stand the thought of his hatred for me living on throughout history. Who knows how much I’d already changed the course of the history that I knew? I could find myself in an unknown world when I finally returned. Or maybe not at all. Perhaps I’d simply put everything back on course, returning Henry to the cold and ruthless pirate he was before my arrival.
I had planned to say my goodbyes to Finn, Gus, and Charlie before the rest of the crew. They’d come to be like family to me. Brothers. But, first, I wanted to try Henry. The man hardly left his quarters. I made a tray of food each day and tasked young Charlie with bringing it to him. But that morning I’d made toutans, Henry’s favorite, as a peace offering of sorts.
“I’ll bring this to the captain, milady,” Charlie said as he reached for the tray.
“That won’t be necessary,” I told him, “I’ll bring it.”
His eyes widened. “Are you sure? I don’t mind.”
I gave the sweet boy a smile. God, I was going to miss him. He was like the little brother I never had. “No, I’ll be fine. Can you stay here and make sure the men get theirs? And be sure to grab some for yourself? I made plenty extra, so fill your belly.”
I could tell he didn’t want to hand over the task, so loyal to his captain. But the child inside took over and he happily accepted my place behind the counter. I’d shown him enough and hoped he would take over for me as ship’s cook when after I left. I removed my apron and headed to Henry’s quarters with the tray of toutans and fresh molasses. I knocked on the door but got no response, so I pushed it open and entered quietly.
The smell was atrocious, and I held my breath as I carried the tray to his desk. No candles were lit, and the drapes had been partially closed over the large stern windows, casting the room in a dreary grey.
Then I spotted a figure sitting in a chair, his face cast out to the ocean behind us where the drapes pulled back slightly. The only movement I found was the slow rise and fall of his chest.
“Hen–” I stopped myself, determined not to anger him, “Captain Barrett. I brought you some food.”
My fingers fiddled at my sides as I fought for words. Something caught my eye on the table next to Henry and my heart sank when I realized it was a pile of dishes, still full of food, days old. He wasn’t eating.
“Look, my time is coming to an end here. When we find the Gaelic witch, I’ll be gone, and you can move on with your life. I just… I just couldn’t stand the thought of leaving things like this. I want you to know… that I do care for you. More than I ever thought possible. It was never my intention to hurt your feelings. You captured my heart before I could figure out a way home, and then things just worked out the way they did. I just wanted to be honest with you.”
He didn’t flinch, let alone respond. It was as if I weren’t even in the room. The man was like a ghost. Then again, I didn’t belong there, and my stomach clenched as I realized… I was the ghost. I turned to leave but stopped at the door and glanced back.
“You’re so good, Henry,” his name elicited a slight sigh, “It only took a moment for me to see it and, when I did, it captivated me. Please don’t forget that, don’t let go of your heart.”
***
The sun was setting on the horizon and I leaned against the side of the ship, taking it in. I’d watched hundreds of sunsets but none like this, out there on the open water. Calm, soothing waves lapped at the side of the boat while the orange and purple glow of the sun slowly faded into the distance, leaving behind a trail of darkness.
I watched the transformation and relished the beauty of witnessing the ancient sun falling asleep, the moon taking its place to play with the waves. It was an image I filed away in my mind, to revisit in the future when I needed another reminder of the grand adventure I had.
The tired men had gone below, leaving me behind on the quiet deck. Finn approached me before heading down for himself.
“Aye, lassie,” he said quietly and grabbed hold of my shoulders to squeeze me in his crushing embrace. I’d come to expect it now. Enjoy it, even. “Are ye comin’ to bed?”
I wrapped my red jacket tightly across my chest and took in the sweet smell of the midnight ocean. “Not yet,” I replied. “I like it up here this time of night. I can think.”
He rubbed his big red beard, unsure of what to do. “Look, I ain’t no fool, lass,” he told me, “We all ken ye and the captain are fond of each other. Whatever happened, I’m sure ye can forgive him, no?”
I was surprised to learn that Finn assumed Henry had done something to hurt me, to push me away. When, really, it was me who’d messed everything up. “Thanks, Finn, but you’re wrong. Captain Barrett–” I struggled for words. There was no way to make him understand. “I betrayed his trust. I didn’t mean to, but I did, and he may never forgive me.” My body turned, and I took the Scotsman’s freckled hands in mine. “You have to promise me something.”
“Of course,” he replied and stood a little straighter, prouder. “Anythin’ for ye.”
Tears welled in my eyes. Not in a million years would I have ever dreamed of such goodness in one man. He lived in a time not worthy of his heart. “I need you to take care of Henry. Make sure he doesn’t fall into darkness. He’s going to be facing some demons when we hit land; when we find The Cobhams, and he’s going to need all the help he can get.”
Finn shrugged, still unclear on what I was asking. “Well, yes, I’d lay down me life for the captain in a battle.”
I shook my head. “No, not just physically. He’s going to need you afterward. You and Gus. Be his family. Don’t let him lose sight of his heart. He’s finally figured out how to use it again.”
The man let out a puff of air and chuckled. “Christ, ye sound like a damn tragic fairy tale.”
I laughed, what little I could with the weight of a broken heart in my chest. “Oh, and I never said thank you.”
“Fer what?”
“Saving my life when I first came aboard.”
He chortled. “Yeah, well, a good lot that did. Yer leavin’ me anyway.”
I felt my heart sink. He was right. Finn was no damn fool. He knew I was leavin
g. I didn’t know what to say so I just let the cool silence of the night air fill the space between us.
“Do ye want me to stay up here with ye?”
I managed a smile for my friend and shook my head. “No, go to bed. I’m going to sit up here and watch the stars.”
I laid down on a large crate and listened to the sound of Finn’s steps retreating to the deck below until the waves, the creaking of the ship, and my own breaths were the only sounds to be heard. My fingers reached up to clasp around the large pendant of the necklace Henry had given me and cringed as the images of his pained expression flashed through my mind. I’d never broken anyone’s heart before and the guilt was something I‘d carry with me forever. I wish I had time to fix things, to piece together the shards of his shattered heart. Then a strange and unexpected thought dawned on me.
Why did I still want to go back home?
I had nothing waiting for me back there. No boyfriend, no friends, definitely no job. Maybe I could talk to the witch, find a way home but not use it yet. What kind of person would I be if I just left Henry in the past after I’d crushed him like that?
At some point, I’d drifted off, lulled by the soothing rock of The Devil’s Heart. I knew I was dreaming for the fact that Henry was with me. He laid me down on the same sandy beach I dreamed of before, and his able hands caressed my body. I felt his fingers fumble with the buttons of my shirt, unable to get them undone. I let out a giggle and tried to look at his face but all I saw was a black figure, silhouetted by the blaring sun behind it. His hands grew impatient and began tugging hard.
My heart sped up as the bright sun disappeared and all that remained was darkness. Panic forced me from my dream and my eyes fluttered open to find someone was actually tearing at my shirt. I opened my mouth to scream but a salty hand cupped it and pushed me back down. I struggled against the heavy figure and my knee caught him in the head, turning his face toward me where the moonlight revealed my attacker.
Maurice.
The old pirate was trying to rape me and had my body pinned to the crate underneath.
“Now that the captain is done with ya, I figures I’ll have a go.”
His raunchy breath blanketed my face and it took all I had not to vomit. My naked breasts chaffed under the rough terrain of his jacket and I felt him shift as he fetched something from his pocket.
The sound of a blade sliding from its sheath set me over the edge and I flew into panic mode. With only one of his arms holding me down, I managed to twist my head enough to uncover my mouth and I let out a scream. It was stopped short, though, when Maurice threw a blow to my jaw. My ears rang, and my head swam as it threatened to black out. His blade rested between my legs where I felt the quick thrust of it slicing into the crotch of my trousers.
Maurice’s entire body held me down, and I succumbed to the weight of it, my lungs hardly able to take in a breath. Tears poured from my eyes as I accepted what was happening. But before I gave up entirely, the man’s heavy figure ripped from my body and I glanced up to find Henry standing over me.
“Maurice!” he bellowed, a pistol aimed straight ahead. “How dare you put your hands on her!”
The man brought himself to his knees. “Captain, I beg of you, I had no idea. I thought you were–”
Henry lunged forward and put the clunky pistol to Maurice’s forehead. “Were what? Done with her? You disgust me. I should end your life right here, right now.” I could see the shakiness in his arm, in the way he held the gun. I stood and placed my hand on Henry’s arm, and he turned to look at me, his eyes enraged and full of tears. “He deserves to die, Dianna.”
“Yes, but you don’t deserve to kill him,” I replied. Henry shouldn’t bear the burden, shouldn’t have the blood on his hands. I knew how much it hurt him. “Tie him up. We’ll have him arrested when we meet landfall.” The pistol never wavered from the direction it pointed, and I tightened my grip around his arm. “Henry.”
I watched as the heaviness of rage left Henry’s body and he handed me the gun. Then, as if it killed him to stand there and not touch me, his desperate hands took my face and pressed it to his chest where I could hear his heart beating wildly.
“God, I heard you scream and it was as if someone had shot me through the chest.”
I didn’t answer, I just let him hold me and breathed in as much of him as I could. Just a few days apart had now felt like an eternity and I realized something. Perhaps, I knew it all along but didn’t want to accept it because we’d only known each other a short while, or maybe for fear it would prevent me from going home.
I loved him.
I was about to speak the words when I caught a glimpse of movement in the corner of my eye. Maurice had lunged for the pistol I set down on the crate and my body took on a mind of its own. I wrapped my fingers around the hilt of Henry’s sword and yanked it from his side. It all happened so fast, too fast, but I didn’t want this man’s blood on Henry’s soul. I swung the heavy blade to the side and heaved it back toward Maurice where it sliced through his body and came to a stop in the center of his chest.
“Dianna!” Henry yelled next to me.
He tried to pry the sword from my grasp, but my hands had a death grip around the hilt. My mind was screaming for me to let go, but I couldn’t. I could only stare at the man whose life was dissolving before my eyes, the life I took, his wide gaze looking up at me as the blood drained from his carcass and began running toward my feet. Just then, footsteps came hurdling in our direction.
“Captain!” Finn called, “What the Christ is going on here?”
“I found Maurice attempting to force himself on Dianna,” Henry replied. “I made my orders quite clear on that.”
“Aye,” Gus answered and let out a long breath, “Did she–”
“Yes, before I had the chance,” Henry told them and ripped my shaking hands away before sweeping me into his arms. I felt him pull my jacket closed, covering my naked breasts and he kissed my forehead. “Can you take care of this?”
“Aye, Captain,” Finn responded dutifully.
Henry began walking, taking me away from the scene. “Christ, Dianna, what were you thinking?”
“Uh, better me than you?” I offered a weak and shaky response.
We entered his quarters and the warmth of the fireplace began to thaw my chilled skin. I didn’t even realize I was cold until then. My mind slowed and the reality of what I’d done started to smooth out. Maurice was going to rape me. Then, who knows what else? I was strong. I could live with it, deal with it. I could even get some professional help when I got back home if I needed to.
But, the old man was going to kill Henry, and the captain would have surely taken his life. I couldn’t let him live with it. For that to be one of his memories of me. The woman he damned himself to save, only to have lost her. No, I would carry that burden for him.
Henry paced the floor in front of me. “I’ve enough blood on my hands, Dianna. What’s one more drop? Now you have to live with this.”
“I did it for you,” I told him.
“For me?” he chortled, still pacing. “You did this for me? Why would–” He came to a halt, his eyes locking on mine. They sparkled with a glimmer of hope. “Why?”
Even though I admitted it to myself, I still couldn’t form the words for him. My shoulders gave a shrug. “I just… I didn’t want you to do it. I knew it would eat you up inside.”
“No,” he replied curtly.
“No?”
“Tell me why, Dianna.” The devil-eyed pirate sauntered toward me and came to a stop at my feet, our chests touched and moved together in unison with each quick breath.
The nearness of him never ceased to make me weak, influencing my mind and body. And my heart. “You know why,” I whispered.
Henry pinched my chin between his finger and thumb, forcing my gaze upward. “I want to hear you say the words. I deserve as much, do I not?”
The deep rasp in his voice was like hot wax melting dow
n my center. “Because… I love you.” I felt the breath catch in his chest as the pirate took my mouth in desperation, the sorrow he carried giving way and making room for me again. I was where I was meant to be, there, in Henry’s arms. I never wanted him to let me go. Then an idea came to life in my mind and I laughed to myself for not considering it before.
“Henry,” I managed to speak. Our mouths still entwined. He moaned a response and refused to stop kissing me. “Come with me.”
Everything slowed, and he broke free from our embrace. “What? To the future?” He spoke the words, but I could tell he didn’t believe them.
“Yes, come back. Be with me,” I pleaded. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I pulled out the snow globe key chain again and handed it to him. “We could live together in my home by the ocean. I could run my parent’s bakery. It’s beautiful and quiet, you could fish every day.”
I could see him contemplating it as he examined the tiny, foreign object. I saw, then, the yearning in his eyes for the life he once wanted. “What would I do there? What about my crew?” Henry shook his head and began to walk away. “Dianna, I don’t belong three hundred years in the future. I have no grasp of what that even means.”
My hand took his and pulled him back to me. “You belong with me. Wherever that might take us.” I placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. “And you told me once, Gus was a captain, right? Couldn’t he captain The Devil’s Heart in your place?” He wouldn’t respond, only stared off into a void above my head. And then my guts turned heavy at a thought. “I mean, unless you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
Henry snapped out of his daze and his black eyes pierced my heart. “Christ, Dianna, there’s nothing in this world I want more. I crave you more than I desire to breathe, to eat, even. Nothing I’d experienced aboard The Burning Ghost came close to preparing me for the torment I’ve endured the last few days.”
His glorious mouth, the words that spilled from it, and the delicious scent of him pulled me in like a siren’s call. My breathing quickened, and hot goosebumps scoured my body at the very thought of having him. I removed my jacket and let it fall to the floor, my partially exposed breasts heaving and inviting him to take me.
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