He reached out to pull her into his embrace, using both arms.
“Your cane!”
She heard the gravel in his voice as he admitted, “I don’t need it when I’m standing still. I only need it to walk.”
“Brian, this is wonderful! I’m so happy for you.”
Tell him now. Tell him!
But the words got stuck in her throat. It would change everything. And everything was so perfect right now.
“This is just the beginning, Tag. I’m going to walk without this cane. I’m going to get my job back at the fire station. You just wait and see.”
She leaned her ear against his chest to hear his excited, galloping heartbeat. “Brian?”
“Hmm.”
“Does this mean you can drive?”
“I guess it does.”
She felt his body tense, as he realized the ramifications of being able to get around on his own.
“Are you kicking me out?”
She leaned back and looked into his eyes. “I thought you might want to get a place of your own, now that—”
“I don’t. Is that all right?”
She wondered if her eyes looked as conflicted as she felt. What came out was “Sure.”
He kissed her, his tongue inflaming her passion, his arms tight around her, pulling their bodies close.
She didn’t want to push him away, but she knew where this was headed. She wasn’t ready to make love to Brian. Not yet. Not when this terrible-wonderful-awful-amazing secret lay between them.
She tempered her refusal, because that’s what it was, with a hand against his heart and a smile. “I’m hungry. Feed me?”
“A woman with an insatiable appetite. Who knew?” He gave her a quick, hard kiss. “One bedroom picnic coming right up.”
He picked her up just long enough to toss her back into bed, and stuck his cane back on the ground in time to keep himself from toppling over. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back with some food.”
“Brian. I’m perfectly well. We should eat in the kitchen.”
“Oh, I see,” he said, pulling the covers back over her. “You don’t want crumbs in your bed. Too bad. I’ve been hankering to go on a picnic for months. You’re going to have to lie there and enjoy it.”
“Brian—”
He kissed her to cut her off. “The longer you argue, the longer it’s going to take to get your supper.”
She opened her mouth, and he put a finger up to shush her. “Uh-uh.”
“Fine. I want a hamburger and French fries.”
“You’ve been sick all day.”
“Yeah? Well, I’m fine now. A hamburger and French fries or nothing.”
“A hamburger and French fries coming up. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”
She reached down for her purse, which she kept beside the bed and pulled out her car keys. “Brian?”
He turned back, and she threw the keys, which he caught.
“Make sure they’re hot when they get here.”
He grinned. “You trust me with your car?”
“I trusted you with my life. Why not my car?”
His face suddenly sobered.
Her attempt to be flippant had gone very wrong. Instead of making him laugh, it had reminded him of the near tragedy that had brought them to this point. “Be careful,” she said in a soft voice. “I’d hate to have survived what we’ve survived and lose you in a car accident.”
She only realized how possessive that sounded after the words were spoken. She tried to come up with something to say that would lighten the mood, but her heart was pounding and her face was flushed and all she could think of was the moment she’d held him in her arms believing he was dead.
“Just go, Brian,” she said quietly. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
And if that wasn’t an invitation for more than she intended, she didn’t know what was.
BRIAN’S DAYS IN rehab blended one into the next. His nights were another thing entirely. He spent them with Tag, who was turning out to be quite a puzzle. She was encouraging and supportive. She was fun and funny. And she was something else she’d never been in high school: a tease.
She was never mean or unkind to him. She just did…something…with her clothes or her hair or the look in her eyes that got him so hot and bothered he felt like some randy teenager again. He wasn’t sure what her game was, but he was enjoying the hell out of playing it.
In the three weeks since he’d first walked with a cane, their evenings together had distracted him from a truth that was staring him in the face, one he didn’t want to acknowledge. His leg had healed as much as it ever would. What muscle he had in his calf was all he would ever have. He might never be able to walk without additional support.
He’d long since let go of the possibility of returning to smoke jumping. What he found terrifying was the thought of never having the strength he needed to become a firefighter again.
Thanksgiving was coming up, and Aiden had invited him home for the holiday. He wanted to be with his family, but he wanted to be with Tag as well. He knew she planned to spend the holiday with her family, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be invited to sit at the supper table with King Grayhawk, so he might as well spend the day celebrating with his father and brothers.
Here they were again, divided by that stupid feud between their fathers.
“Hey!”
When he looked up from his seat in Tag’s chair, she was waving her hands in his face.
“Taylor to Brian. Are you in there?”
When he focused his eyes on hers she said, “You’re in my chair. Get out. I want to sit down.”
He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. “I say we share it.”
She wriggled and giggled and said, “You’re tickling me.”
His hands had slid up her sides, but he moved them around to cup her breasts.
She froze in his arms. “Brian,” she whispered. “We can’t even share Thanksgiving together because of the battle going on between our families. You’re still in rehab. You have no idea where you’ll end up. Do you think this is a good idea?”
He didn’t have a clue. He just knew he wanted her, and he couldn’t wait any longer to have her.
“It’s a great idea,” he said, rolling her nipples in his fingers until they were hard buds.
She sucked in a breath. “I’m not sure—”
Something inside him snapped when he heard her wavering yet again. “Maybe what you aren’t certain about is me. Is that it, Tag? Is that what this game is all about? Not sure you want to tie yourself to a gimp.”
He propelled her upright as he rose and tried to get past her without the cane he’d been using, which was somewhere alongside the chair. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and pressed her cheek against his back. He didn’t have the strength—the will, rather—to pull away.
She inched her way under his elbow and slid around his body to face him. He shivered when her fingers tunneled into the too-long hair at his nape. He stood with his hands at his sides, unwilling to play again until she’d told him the rules.
She met his gaze and said, “I’ve been waiting until you’re completely well. It didn’t seem fair to seduce you before you could break for the door, if you didn’t want me.”
“Not want you? Haven’t you been paying attention? I’m lucky I have any jeans left without a busted zipper.”
She laughed softly in his ear, sending a shudder of need running through him.
Brian enveloped her in his arms so swiftly and tightly that she gasped. He loosened his hold enough to get a hand between them, so he could shove her nightgown out of the way and palm her naked breast.
“If you don’t want this, say so now,” he said in
a guttural voice.
“I want you, Brian. I’ve always wanted you. And I always will.”
She could have no idea what a balm those words provided to his soul. His heart swelled with love for her—which startled the hell out of him. What was he doing? He still had a long road of recovery ahead of him. Months more of rehab before he could even think about a future for himself, let alone a future that included her.
But she had her hand inside his shorts and was doing something that made it impossible for him to think. Her thumb had found the tiny drop of liquid at the head of his shaft, sending sensations scattering and causing his body to harden beyond bearing. He would think later, after he’d slaked the unquenchable thirst he had to be inside her.
He picked her up without considering whether his injured leg could bear her weight and was astonished when it didn’t buckle. He stayed close to the wall as he headed down the hall to his bedroom, just in case.
She missed seeing his amazement at his accomplishment because she was busy playing with his ears and kissing his neck and generally making his pulse race and his body catch fire.
When he reached his bedroom, he switched on the lamp and dropped her legs to the ground. He took her hand and drew her after him to the bed, pulling down the covers—the extra pillows had long since been banned from the room—and backing her up until her knees hit the edge and she sat down.
He laughed when she took his shorts down with her, leaving him wearing a T-shirt and nothing else. He pulled it off over his head and said, “Get rid of that nightgown, or I’ll do it for you.”
“Do it for me.”
It must have been the timbre of her voice or the come-hither look in her eyes or the sight of the fragile cotton dipping in the shadow between her breasts. He didn’t know what else could have compelled him to take the front of her nightgown in both hands and rip it down the middle.
She laughed with delight. “That’s one way to get me naked,” she said as she slid the remnants of fabric off her shoulders.
He wondered fleetingly if she always went to bed bare-assed. His temperature went up a few more degrees.
She lay back and held out her arms to him, and he realized he wanted to hold her, and be held by her, through the night. He shifted Tag so she was lying fully on the bed and covered her body with his own.
He’d forgotten completely about his injured leg, but it reminded him it was there when he rose to his knees. He ignored the stab of pain in his calf as he lifted her beautiful ass in his hands and thrust himself inside her, making them one.
She was wet and slick and welcoming.
She smiled up at him, and he felt an ache in his chest. He’d forgotten how good this felt. Not just the physical pleasure of joining his body with Tag’s but the knowledge that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
He slowed himself down, slowed everything down. He wanted to give her as much joy as she was giving him. So he took the time to kiss and to caress. To offer tender touches and whispered words. To arouse her until her body writhed beneath his, and she begged for release.
He arched his head back as he spilled his seed, and heard her cry out as her body spasmed along with his own. He lay atop her for a few moments, their lungs sucking air, before sliding to her side, separating their bodies. He slid his hand into her hair and tucked her head against his shoulder, sighing with contentment.
They lay wrapped in each other’s embrace for a long time. Long enough for him to realize that he didn’t want to let her go. He felt her belly pressing against his and slid a hand down between them to trace the shape of it. He realized she must have regained all the weight she’d lost while starving in the cave. “I love how soft and round you are. You feel…good.”
She stiffened at his first words, then relaxed against him. She didn’t say anything, just pressed her nose against his throat and kissed his sweat-salty flesh.
Brian felt sad and realized he was regretting the war between their fathers that had kept them apart all those years ago.
“Brian,” she said. “I noticed you didn’t have any trouble carrying me in here without extra support. How is that possible? I thought you couldn’t walk without a cane.”
“I haven’t needed the cane for a little while now.”
She lifted her head and looked down at him, a questioning furrow between her brows. “Then why have you been using it?”
“I guess because if I put it down, I’ll have to concede that this is as good as it gets. That I’m no longer recuperating. That I’m healed.”
She rested her chin on her hand, which lay on his chest. “What’s the problem with that?”
“I don’t think this leg is ever going to be strong enough for me to work as a firefighter.”
“Have you taken the physical test you mentioned? Are you telling me you failed?”
“No to both questions.”
“Ah,” she said.
He waited for her to say more, but she didn’t. On the other hand, the look in her eyes spoke volumes. “Don’t stop there. Tell me what you really think.”
“You haven’t failed the test till you’ve taken it and failed.”
“Why take it if I know I can’t pass?”
“But you don’t know that,” she persisted. “You can’t know how you’ll do until you try. You might not finish, or you might not finish in time. If that happens, you won’t be any worse off than you are now.”
“Except I’ll have tried and failed,” he said, aware that his heart rate had accelerated and his face was flushed. “I’ve never failed at anything in my life, and I don’t intend to start now.”
“So you’d rather have everybody believe you still need a cane to walk?” she shot back. “You’d rather spend your life with a crutch—a cane—to keep you from having to find out the truth? Time for another gut check, Brian,” she said, flinging off the covers and sitting up. “Time to throw away your crutch, walk out of this house on your own two feet, and move on with your life.”
“Are you telling me to leave?” he asked incredulously. “Now? In the middle of the night?”
She rose from the bed in naked splendor and headed for his bedroom door. When she got there, she eyed him over her shoulder and said, “You’re a big boy. Figure it out for yourself.”
TAYLOR HAD AWOKEN to discover that Brian had packed up his stuff and taken off during the night.
Well, what did you expect? You tempted him out of his shell and then squashed him like a bug.
The house felt empty with Brian gone. She hadn’t heard a word from him in six weeks. There was nothing she could do but wait and see what he did. Brian would either find the courage to take the test or he wouldn’t. And he would find the courage to live with the results—whatever they were—or he wouldn’t.
And he’ll either come for you, or he won’t.
Brian had trusted her enough to share his fears. She wished she’d told him she believed in him. She wished she’d told him she had faith he could do anything he set his mind to. She wished she’d told him she would love him whether he passed the test or not.
She wished she’d told him she was pregnant.
When Brian had made that remark about her rounded belly, she’d been afraid he’d guessed the truth. Luckily, he’d remained in the dark. Although, she didn’t know how lucky that was, really. Because if he’d been the least bit suspicious, they could have discussed the baby before he’d walked out the door.
To make matters worse, she hadn’t yet told her family she was pregnant. It didn’t seem fair to tell them before she’d told Brian. She might have told Vick, if she’d been living at home, but her twin was back in Montana. Taylor didn’t want to give her sister the news over the phone, or in a text or email.
Leah looked at her with a worried eye, but Taylor had been so exhaustingly exuberant during her elder sister’s v
isits that she didn’t leave room for Leah to ask, “Are you okay? Is something wrong? Why are you so flushed?”
She was planning to attend a Christmas dinner at Kingdom Come at noon. They usually opened presents after they ate. It would be a perfect opportunity to tell her family, all at once, that she was expecting Brian Flynn’s child.
Then, somehow, some way, she had to tell Brian.
Maybe he’ll call to wish you a Merry Christmas, and you can suggest a meeting. Maybe you should call him and tell him to come by, because you have a present for him.
Some present.
Taylor sighed and settled back in her chair and stretched her feet on the ottoman. The crackling fire was comforting, and she opened her book, yet another Stephen King novel. It was a good thing he was a prolific author, because she’d done a lot of reading lately to avoid thinking about how much she missed Brian.
The good news was that she’d been cleared of wrongdoing by the NTSB. The kind of flying she did was high risk, and surveying the landing area where she’d dropped jumpers was considered appropriate under the circumstances. The tornado of fire that had flamed out both engines had an infinitesimal probability of occurring in the future. She was certified to fly again.
Taylor was glad to have her license restored, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to pilot a Twin Otter again anytime soon. She had her rental income—what was left after the mortgages and insurance were paid—to live on, so she didn’t need to fly. Now that she was pregnant, and about to become a single mother, she didn’t want to engage in the sorts of risks she incurred when she dropped smoke jumpers on the fringes of an out-of-control forest fire.
She’d begun “nesting,” preparing her home for the baby’s arrival. She’d bought a white baby sleeper that featured yellow ducklings, marveling at how tiny newborns were. She’d started looking at baby furniture online. And she’d cleared out the bedroom across from hers and painted it sunshine yellow.
If she was guilty of keeping the news that he was going to be a father from Brian, he was equally guilty of disappearing without a word. He could have called. He could have sent her a text. He could have shown up at her door, for that matter.
Surrender: A Bitter Creek Novel Page 24
