I focused intensely on his hands as they moved over my body, committing every line and callous to memory. The texture of the skin at his throat, the curve of his collar bone, the points of his hips, all of it.
I wanted to remember this. Not last night, not the terror of the morning, not the fuzzy trunk. Nothing but Rudy’s body on mine—and mine on his.
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I kissed him over and over again, pulling him close, arching into him. He didn’t know this was goodbye. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.
I clung to him when he slid inside of me, desperate to remember every shudder, every sound, everything. His rhythm was a song, something to anchor me when I would have to flounder through a sea of lonely days and equally lonely nights.
His smooth skin, the salt of his sweat, the way my soap mingled with his scent, all of it filled my mind. I devoted an entire corner of my memory to the living, breathing, passion that was Rudy.
His breath quickened and I stopped him. I slid out from under him as a pained sound escaped his throat. I needed this to last just a little longer.
I pressed him over onto his back and kissed him. His mouth, his ears, down his throat, over his chest. Every texture, line, and curve of him, every taste, every smell, I captured. He was panting and writhing by the time I was finished, desperate for release.
But he didn’t force it, no matter how desperate he got. My Rudy. My sweet, stupid, insane, passionate Rudy.
I straddled him, keeping my hips raised as I moved my hand lower to guide him inside of me. His thick cock was rock-solid, and pulsed against my thumb as I cupped it.
Rudy’s intake of breath when his tip hit the walls of my pussy sounded like desperation and apprehension wrapped all into one.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I met him eye to eye then, but instead of parting my lips to answer, I let my actions speak my words. Carefully, I lowered myself onto him, not breathing as – inch by inch - he filled me all the way to the brim.
Between the pleasure and the pain of being stretched by him, I tried to focus on memorizing the way he lifted his hips to meet mine, the strangled sound of slipping control as I settled around him.
He grabbed my hips gently, carefully avoiding the bruise. How could someone so reckless be so careful with me?
“Kennedy.” My name was a strangled whisper on his lips.
Hands on either side of me, he gripped my hips, forcing a rolling motion out of them. Pleasure sparked to all new heights as his cock hit spots inside of me I didn’t know existed.
When he let go, I continued with the motion, pulling back and rolling forward.
“Ahhh, fuck, Kennedy,” Rudy hummed.
I continued moving, feeling him out, feeling myself out, finding the rhythm and angle that would get us both to where we needed to be. He pushed me away and pulled me close all at once, shifting me just enough to introduce mouth to breast. Fire pulsed through me, driving me into a wild, carnal frenzy as he grazed his teeth against my nipple.
“Rudy,” I moaned.
A small chuckle escaped his lips, vibrating against the nipple that was now nestled between his plump lips. He twirled his tongue against it, his free hand reaching higher to ensure my other breast didn’t feel neglected.
For a few moments, the sadness was pushed far, far away. There was no room for it, not while my body ignited in liquid, rippling fire, not while pleasure exploded through me with the force of a firestorm.
After satisfying both breasts, Rudy worked his way lower until he was nestled between my thighs, and my heels were pressed against his shoulders. He ate me out like a man starved and I wailed, not moaned. I wailed. This was too much. Too good. Too consuming. Too perfect. When Rudy pressed his finger against my clit, I realized just how quickly I’d jumped the gun. My hips bucked and my body heated as ecstasy in its purest form filled my veins. There were no more screams or moans that left my lips as I came. It was as though all the energy I had in me couldn’t focus on anything but the pleasure.
I was only just coming down from cloud nine when Rudy buried himself inside of me again. My core was tender, my entire body sensitive, making everything he did feel like it had been magnified.
His fingers gripped my ass, his nails sinking into my cheeks as he pounded himself into me. The rhythm we’d been dancing to was now lost to something more dramatic, something feral, something savage.
Pressing my legs higher, until they ached, he searched for as much of me as he could get, fucking me to a hilt. In. Out. In. Out. Not a second between the motions. Heat spread through my core once again. I fought for his neck, his mouth, needing every part of me to be connected to a part of him. When his lips found mine, I sucked them, swallowing the growls that tore through the air.
He cried out as he came, his fingers digging into me even harder now. Panting, we collapsed together.
I’ve never really been much of a procrastinator, but as we fought to catch our breaths, I practiced a whole lot of procrastinating. I didn’t want to tell him. I couldn’t get around it—I would have to get it over with—just not yet.
I lay with him on a contented cloud of bliss for as long as I could stand to, watching the afternoon sun creep lower in the sky.
My time was almost up. I had to tell him now or I never would, and then where would we be? Dead, probably, or locked away forever. Harassed and hounded for every moment leading up to the end. He’d be hurt, directly or through me. All of the progress he’d made in his life since Jason took him in would unravel, leaving him just as hurt and alone as he ever was. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let him think that defending me was more important than his life, his freedom. The feelings I had for Rudy were strong – strong enough for me to want the best for him.
I looked over at him, taking a quick glimpse at his knuckles. They were red and raw and…if I hadn’t asked him to come back, what exactly would he have done? He was hell bent on killing Thomas. The look in his brother’s eyes and on their faces made me almost certain that they knew Rudy could actually go that far. There’s pride in knowing that a man cares so much about you that he’d literally kill for you. But we were young. Rudy still had a life ahead of him. And I wasn’t going to pretend that it wasn’t my cowardice, my stupidity, my complacency that got me into the mess I was in in the first place.
“Hey,” he said gently as he rolled slightly to look at me. “Why are you crying?”
I sucked in a shuddering breath, but it didn’t help. The tears kept flowing, making my voice waver.
“We can’t do this anymore,” I told him.
Confusion filled his eyes. “What? Why? Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head adamantly. “No, no Rudy. You’re wonderful. You’re always wonderful to me. But we can’t keep going like this. One of us is going to end up dead and I—I can’t—” My throat tightened and there was nothing I could do but cry. He held me close, letting me pour tears all down his chest.
“Shh. Shh, it’s okay. Look at me.”
I did. I looked up at him, blinking until I could see him through the blurry cloud in my eyes. He smiled at me, a warm, caring smile. I would miss seeing it. God, I would miss him.
“Nobody has to die,” he murmured. “I’ll watch your back and you’ll watch mine. And my brothers, they won’t let anything happen to us. You saw them. They’re like wolves when one of us is in danger. We’ll be okay.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But I couldn’t.
Something had already happened to me, something so drastic and terrifying that I couldn’t hold it in my head for too long or I’d just turn into a blubbering mess all over again.
He trusted his brothers—and yes, they were good to me, but I shouldn’t have to trust them the way Rudy did. It wasn’t fair for me to put my safety in the hands of a bunch of kids I’d spent the last couple years at odds with.
They helped me today, but the circumstances were extreme. There was no telling what they would do next
and that scared me. Maybe they would protect me—or maybe they would turn on me when they remembered that I was a part of the problem.
But that wasn’t all. I shivered and Rudy pulled me close.
“I don’t know if they can stop her,” I said. “Julianne—she never has her hands in things directly. She manipulates everything, everybody around her, magics the world into something she can control. They’d have to be a step ahead of her, and after this—” I bit back a terrified sob. “Rudy, I don’t know what she’s capable of.” I shook in his arms, taking as much warmth as I could from him before it was gone. “She could kill us both without ever touching us.”
He sighed heavily. “She is pretty out of control.”
I shook my head furiously. “That’s just it,” I whispered. “She isn’t out of control. She’s completely in control, always. She calculates, she schemes, she implements her plans. She doesn’t even have to be angry or anything. She can figure out how to take someone down with a smile on her face and a laugh in her throat, batting her eyes and moaning little suggestions to the right people until the world does what she wants the world to do. We can’t stay together, Rudy. If we do, we’re both in danger.”
He stroked my hair, his voice soft. “I’ve been in danger my whole life,” he said. “I’d rather be in danger with you.”
His words hurt because I knew that he meant them from the bottom of his heart, but I also knew that us, together, wasn’t an option.
I shook my head.
“Please, Rudy. Please trust me. As long as we’re together, we’re targets. And I just—” I swallowed the rest of the thought, clinging to him.
He was quiet for a long time. His posture never changed, never tensed, as he held me. He was just there, strong and quiet and safe.
“You think it’s better to be alone?” he asked.
There was no judgment in his tone, only curiosity with a touch of resignation.
“I think it’s safer than pissing off the most influential bitch in school—again.”
I felt him nod. “If that’s what you want, then I will give it to you.”
I sobbed, heartbroken. Except, I was the one breaking my own damn heart, and his. Rudy’s arms tightened around me and I battled for control.
I pulled away, looking up at him. “Just for now. Just until the danger has passed. Just until we won’t be risking our lives to see each other.”
His eyes were soft and warm as he brushed my hair back from my face and kissed my forehead.
“I would, you know,” he said softly. “Risk my life, for you.”
And that was exactly the problem. Given the chance, Rudy would do whatever the hell it took to keep me safe. But he was still just a boy who got dealt a shitty hand in this life. Still just a boy who managed to let go of that shitty hand. Mr. Seymore offered Rudy the chance at a real life and I couldn’t take that away from him.
Treading the waters alone were a lot safer than treading them together because that was the only way Julianne would think she won. At least I hoped she’d count ripping Rudy and me apart as a victory.
I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing two tears down my cheeks.
“I know you would,” I whispered against him. Those were the last words I spoke as he held me. The last words any of us spoke before Rudy pried himself away from me, and left.
It felt like he took so much more than just his presence away while, at the same time, pushing the heaviness of the world into the room.
I closed my eyes and buried my head into my pillow. Crying from the moment his car revved to life until the moment I fell asleep.
Chapter Eight
KENNEDY
I slept until I couldn’t sleep any longer. By the time my eyes opened, the sun was streaming through the window.
A glance at my periwinkle-blue alarm clock told me that I was three hours late for school. But hell—it wasn’t like I was planning on going anyway. I couldn’t bear it. To face Julianne and Thomas and the Seymores and—God, Rudy—all alone was just too much.
So instead, I threw myself into practical things. Ordering a new phone, for one. If my parents had texted me at all in the last twenty-four hours, they wouldn’t have gotten a response.
A childish fantasy played in my head, my mother worried sick, my father frantically calling police stations and hospitals, both of them desperate to find me.
I knew it wasn’t true. There weren’t even any messages on the home phone, which would have been their second attempt at getting in touch with me. Still, some part of me hoped that they would have been worried. Part of me insisted that they had tried to get in touch and assumed that I was busy.
But most of me knew better. Deep in my core, I doubted they even thought about me when they were on the road. Next appointment, next stage, next shill. Life was a game and they were winning, and I was nothing more than a spent pawn to them.
I ordered the phone anyway.
What bothered me along with my parents not trying to contact me was the absolute silence from everybody else. Macy, Julianne, Joan—none of them left messages on the house phone. Maybe they forgot that I used it. Maybe one of them would come by today—after all, this would make day number two that I wasn’t in school. It was a stupid thing to be bothered about. I was 99% sure that they were responsible. Still, it’s fucking heartbreaking to know that the friends you had were enemies all along. And sure, I knew they weren’t good friends. But they were better than the nothingness I’d had for most of my life. Pranks were one thing, but actually trying to kill me…
A part of me was still holding onto that 1% that the Seymores were mistaken. That it wasn’t Julianne who put Thomas up to kidnapping me. I thought of how humiliated he’d been when I publicly rejected him—three times—and thought it was entirely possible for him to cook up the plan all by himself. That thought perked me up a little, and I cleaned the house while I waited for something else to happen.
Time passes slowly when you’re waiting for nothing. I thought about calling my parents, but couldn’t figure out what to say. I kicked back on the couch with a hairbrush to my ear like a phone, trying it out.
“Hey, mom! I got kidnapped, but I’m fine now.” I changed my voice into a poor mimicry of hers. “Oh, Kennedy, always the drama queen. What do you need? More money? It’s in your account.” Back to my normal voice. “No, mom, really. A thug kidnapped me after school and I spent the night in the trunk of a car. I almost died.” Mom’s voice. “Now Kennedy, you stop that. I understand that your desire for attention is perfectly legitimate, developmentally speaking, but you’re old enough now to understand that your father is an important man and his business takes priority.”
Sighing, I tossed the brush across the room. Restless and hungry, I paced to the kitchen. There wasn’t much there. I’d been skipping breakfast and eating cafeteria lunches for quite some time now. Dinner, if I remembered it, usually came from a drive through.
Since I wasn’t going anywhere, I needed an alternative. A healthy one, I thought, remembering how good the back room of the grocery store smelled.
I ordered some groceries for delivery. My car was still at the school—besides, I didn’t really want to leave the house yet. The town was too small. I would almost certainly run into someone I knew and the very thought of small talk left me feeling tired.
At two thirty-five a car pulled up in front of my house. Panic set in that it might be Julianne.
Was she here to finish what she started?
Was she here because she was worried?
If she was worried, that meant she really didn’t have anything to do with my kidnapping and it was just Thomas all along.
I moved to the window, my heart pounding in my chest. And then reality kicked in and my heart pounded a fearful beat in my chest. The more likely scenario was that she came to finish what she started? It would mean I was wrong. That Rudy and I apart was the stupidest move I could have made.
My eyes moved to the kitchen. The amount of knive
s we had on the counter and in the drawers were more than any household needed. Since I didn’t do all that much cooking, they would be sharp, too.
I sucked in a breath and dropped the thought.
Did I really have it in me to stab someone? I didn’t think so.
Creeping up to the window, I tried to settle my nerves with the truth. The only way to find out how much panic was necessary was to actually find out what the hell I was panicking about.
When I saw who was parked outside, I froze. It wasn’t Julianne’s pink convertible or Macy’s pure white sedan or even Joan’s little green hatchback. It was Rudy’s dark blue Mustang, with ‘Love, Kennedy’ still spelled out across the hood in primer grey.
Was he coming inside?
I kneeled on the powder blue couch, staring. Hoping.
I wanted him to come inside. I wanted him to tell me that I was being stupid, that driving him away wouldn’t do anything but leave me helpless to the whims of whoever was after me. I wanted him to scoop me up in his arms and kiss me and tell me that he was by my side no matter what, even if it killed us both.
But I also wanted him to drive away like a bat out of hell before anybody spotted his car here. Sitting outside my house like that, he might as well have painted a target on his back.
All Julianne would have to do was convince a cop that he was a stalker, that I was in danger, and he’d be hauled off. She had plenty of connections in the precinct. She could finish it with a single phone call.
My heart pounded again, this time with fear. I could barely see Rudy through the tinted glass, but it was clear that he wasn’t moving to get out.
He rolled down his window and propped his elbow on the door. Faint music drifted in through an open window. He was getting comfortable. Relaxing. Settling in. But why?
“God, I’m an idiot,” I muttered.
Of course he was sitting out there. He didn’t say he wouldn’t have my back anymore. He didn’t even say it was over between us. All he’d said was that he would give me space. I guess “space” to him looked like a hundred feet of zero-scaped lawn and the span of a sidewalk. I wanted to be frustrated about it—but I couldn’t. Relief flooded through me, a soothing balm to my bruised heart.
Something Wicked: An Enemies to Lovers Bully Romance (The Seymore Brothers Book 2) Page 4
